Author's Note: So the overall lack of Hetalia yuri more or less upsets me. I think Hetalia yuri is very cool, and if the guys get to have all of their random yaoi pairs, why can't the girls have some random yuri pairs? Which is why I love Hungary/Belarus so much. I like how they both have the reputation of being the tough girls, but I feel like there is a lot more to them deep down that people don't acknowledge. I think that they are a nice match for one and other. Sure, it's a little cracky, but I still think it's fun. This story also deals with the harshness of struggling with the idea of being gay/bi. I'm bisexual, and I remember having such conflicting feelings and being worried about being accepted. So I tried to incorporate a lot of those ideas into my story to make it seem more real and relatable. If you don't like yuri, please don't flame, that is just rude. But I hope you all enjoy the story!
The whole entire school more or less viewed Natalia's obsessive feelings and crush for her elder brother with a feeling of contempt. Most secretly just viewed it as a creepy, obsessive, and disgusting idea. It was okay that the school had so many gay couples, who were more or less welcomed with open arms. Yet incest was like a toxic plague or a deadly sin. But...there was one thing that might be even worse than being incestuous at this school - being a lesbian or just having feelings for another girl. And Natalia was pretty sure that she was actually both...or maybe she was just the latter.
Despite the fact that the school had a numerous amount of gay male couples, there was not a single female gay couple in the school. All of the girls either managed to find an actual straight, or even just bisexual man, or settled on the idea that all of the men were either gay or taken. It was sad, but even if a girl at the school was gay, odds are was that she was just too afraid to come out with it. Afraid of being met with resistance. Afraid of being made fun of. Afraid of a relationship being ruined due to a lack of acceptance. It was sad, but it felt true in many instances. It also didn't help that there were almost no girls in the entire school, but that was beside the point. Though the lack of girls did lead to the overall acceptance of gay male students, yet, as always, the females were left to struggle with their own fear or lack of acceptance or were forced to just remain hidden all the way back in the closet.
Natalia wasn't even sure if she was gay or not. She claimed to be madly in love with her elder brother, Ivan, but was this love on a sexual level or did she just love her brother in the same way that she loved her sister. Natalia was very protective of her sister, and she would pretty much scare off any of the few straight/bisexual men that would gape at her boobs like a child in a candy store. That Alfred kid did that a lot, and he would earn a slap across the head from his British boyfriend. Natalia didn't even have to worry about punishing or scaring Alfred when he stared, thanks to Arthur taking care of it for her. She felt the same sense of protection over her brother. Natalia was pretty sure that Ivan may have started a relationship with the Lithuanian boy who had a crush on her back in her first year. And this led to Natalia treating Toris with more harshness, and more harassment. The whole school seemed to view her as this ruthless, incestuous monster. But could there actually be more to the Belarusian young lady? Or was she nothing but a monster?
Chemistry class was always a class that Natalia hated. She was almost always forced to work with other people, and she would more or less scare them into doing the work for her, and then yell when they did it wrong. But today, Natalia had a rather interesting partner. Elizaveta, a girl who was actually the same age as her brother. The class was scattered in age, since students had the choice to take almost any sort of science that they wanted to, and at any age. As long as they were able to pass the class, of course. Elizaveta was a girl that always made Natalia think. Natalia recalled back when she was in her first year of high school, Elizaveta had been in a relationship with the Austrian boy, Roderich. But then Roderich ended up coming out of the closet shortly after they dated. And during the entire time they were a couple, they almost never kissed or were intimate. But now, Roderich was very intimate with his Prussian boyfriend. Many students began to gossip about how the relationship was just a cover-up for Roderich, who was afraid to come out of the closet. But what about Elizaveta? She seemed to only love Roderich like a brother. And she never stared at men, unless she was beating them up (Gilbert received this the most). Why did no one point out that she was maybe gay as well? Natalia often wondered about Elizaveta in this department.
Natalia did find Elizaveta to be very pretty. The red plaid jumper uniform for the girls looked very nice on her, and it demonstrated the perfect curves quite nicely. And her light brown hair was so full, and luscious...it just looked perfect. And when they had gym together (there was only one girl's gym class), Natalia found herself looking over to watch Elizaveta undress every now and then. Elizaveta was the reason for Natalia's questioning of her sexuality more than anything. Natalia did not know whether she loved it, or hated it.
The class was dispersing to begin working on the chemistry experiment. Elizaveta got up from her chair, and she greeted Natalia with a warm smile. Natalia did not return the smile, but she met it with an ice cold glare. A glare that usually made most of the students in the school cower. But there was one important thing to know about Elizaveta - she was very tough. So this attempt at fear did not even phase the Hungarian girl at all. She merely took a seat at the lab table next to Natalia.
"Hi, you're Natalia, right? I don't think we ever really talked before. I'm Elizaveta." Elizaveta greeted politely.
"I know who you are, idiot. I've been in the same class as you all semester!" Natalia snapped.
"Calm down now, I was just being nice. Let's get started on the experiment." Elizaveta started to set things up, and then she handed some of the materials to Natalia. "Here, you can measure this out."
Natalia stared at the beaker and the bag with the powdered substance she was supposed to be measuring. She glared at Elizaveta. "I'm not doing this, it's stupid."
"Well, I guess we'll just fail because I'm not going to do it." Elizaveta said with a sly smirk. Natalia looked more irritated. Elizaveta seemed like the only person who was not afraid of her...another thing Natalia secretly liked about her. Natalia just grumbled and did so anyway. Why could she not refuse Elizaveta's request? Something about her just felt so comforting, so reassuring. And the attraction for it felt so strong. As did the desire to please her. So Natalia instantly started to do a good amount of work for the experiment, and she more or less did it flawlessly.
"Wow, you're really good at experiments, Natalia!" Elizaveta complimented, which made Natalia fill with glee on the inside. This was not expressed on the outside of course, and she merely scoffed at this, and finished the experiment. Silence temporarily passed between the two of them, before Elizaveta broke it.
"Hey Natalia, have you ever been in a relationship before?" Elizaveta asked.
"What's it to you?" Natalia more or less hissed.
"It's just a question. I'd like to know more about you." Elizaveta said kindly, which made Natalia turn the slightest shade of pink in response, but this was dismissed almost immediately.
"I don't know what you are talking about...I only have interest for my big brother. We are going to be married and together forever." Natalia said confidently, but she really lacked this confidence. Elizaveta shrugged her shoulders.
"Sure, if that's what you want to do. I don't mind if you have feelings for your brother, Natalia. I mean, almost all the men in this school are gay. I'm gay too." Elizaveta admitted this as if nothing was wrong with it. "It's our choice to be gay, and yours to be in love with a sibling. We all have the power and right to make choices." Before Natalia could even respond, the bell rang.
"Oh, I better get going. I'll see you in gym, alright?" Elizaveta said kindly before picking up her bag and going. Natalia watched the beautiful Hungarian girl walk off for a long moment, admiring every inch of her body while doing so. She then finally got up, heading to her next class, eager for gym to come.
Gym finally did come. Natalia did not care for gym that much, personally. She thought sports were rather stupid, and she would purposely through the ball hard at the other girls to make them cry. She was actually not allowed to participate in gym this week, because she whacked the young blonde girl from Liechtenstein in the face during dodge ball last week. They no longer played dodge ball in gym, and Natalia was forced to sit on the sidelines for the remainder of the week's gym classes. And Natalia naturally did not debate. She sat on the bleachers in the gym, watching the girl's setting up for a basketball game. Her eyes turned to Elizaveta who just walked out of the locker room. She wore a t-shirt with the school's name on it and a pair of black basketball shorts to match. Even that looked perfect on her. She took out a hair tie and started to tie her hair up into a ponytail...and Natalia just watched her, unaware that Elizaveta was aware of this.
And she watched her for the rest of class as well, her gaze never being removed from the gorgeous Hungarian. She was so athletic as well, and Elizaveta could easily play along with all of the boys if she wanted to. Such a strong, beautiful woman...sure, she probably had her flaws. But they just seemed invisible to Natalia.
The game of basketball wrapped up soon after, and all the girls went to go and change. Natalia had to go into the locker room as well, due to the fact that she left her book bag in there. She walked in, shoving the girl from Seychelles out of her way, but then she caught sight of something that made her blush. Elizaveta had just stripped down to her bra and underwear, and was slipping her jumper on. Natalia stared for a time much longer than acceptable, before hurrying to get her bag. And Elizaveta saw this whole thing, and merely smirked to herself.
Once lunch came around, Natalia sat with her brother and sister as usual. But today, Toris and his friend Feliks tried to sit with them, since Toris and her brother were more or less dating. Natalia clung onto her brother the entire time, glaring daggers at the two of them, while Ivan just looked scared. Feliks would not stop talking about stupid things like fashion and what not, and it was pissing Natalia off.
"Will you shut up already or are you asking for a death wish!" Natalia snapped.
"Oh, Natalia, please calm down!" Katyusha said nervously, her gigantic breasts shaking in panic along with her.
"Like, you need to calm down you crazy freak. I'm just like, talking about my new shoes it all!" The Polish student said, crossing his arms stubbornly.
"You might as well just become a girl at this rate, you freak! You're the one wearing a girl's uniform!" Natalia snapped.
"Well, you probably want to be like...a man!" Feliks countered, which caused Natalia to raise and slam her fists down on the table.
"I do not! Don't you talk to me like that! I am going to birth my big brother's child when we finish high school!" Natalia said loudly and proudly.
"Well...I like, totally heard from some girls in last period's gym class, that you were staring at Elizaveta like a creeper! Like, watching her get undressed! Are you like a lesbian or something?" Feliks inquired. At this, Natalia turned red and she yanked Feliks by the collar of his shirt, bringing him over to her, their faces only inches apart.
"I am only in love with my brother, and eveyone knows that! So don't you say that to me EVER again!" Natalia screamed in his face, though she was still blushing.
"But you're like, totally blushing, so it must be true!" Feliks seemed too curious to find out to really be scared.
"F-Feliks, you're just going to make her more mad!" Toris yelped.
"S-sister, maybe you should stop." Ivan mumbled, and Katyusha nodded nervously in agreement.
"But I'm not like, doing anything! She's just a big LESBIAN!" Feliks practically screamed, causing silence to spread in the cafeteria. All of them were staring at Natalia. Not with the same sense of fear, but for once with confusion and surprise. Natalia couldn't stand all of these gazes. She felt her tough exterior fading, and she just threw Feliks to the floor and she ran off to the girl's bathroom. She screamed at all of the other girls to get out, and they obeyed her request. And once she was along in the bathroom, she did something she almost never did...she cried. Why? Why did that stupid transvestite have to go and blow it to the school? Now her whole reputation was ruined! She just felt so afraid to be gay...and now she pieced it together. She didn't have these romantic feelings for her brother. It was just a strong sense of protection, and a desire to keep him safe. He was her brother after all. She now felt like she knew...she used her incestuous facade to hide her actual gay feelings. It was so stupid...and now she was crying over it. She just felt like such shit, and it just made her so frustrated. She slumped down to the floor, and hid her face in her knees, her long blonde hair masking the other parts of her face. She didn't even hear the door open.
"...Natalia?" Asked a voice that sounded like one of an angel to her. Natalia knew that voice anywhere. Elizaveta...she had come for her. But Natalia was unsure if she was ready to face her. So she buried her face more in her knees.
"Go away!" She screamed at Elizaveta. But then she felt a touch on her shoulder...Elizaveta was sitting right next to her.
"It's difficult for girls like us, isn't it? People just expect us to be so tough and intimidating all of the time, no one ever accounts for our feelings...it's like they don't think we can cry or something." Elizaveta mumbled. At this, Natalia felt a bit reassured. Elizaveta knew what it was like. To be the tough girl, to have to wear some sort of facade...it was nice to relate to someone.
"Natalia, it's not a bad thing to be a lesbian. I felt like you when I was in my sophomore year. I found myself staring at girls, but I thought it was bad. So I started to date Roderich...we both used it as a cover-up. But then...everyone accepted Roderich when he came out. I was afraid they wouldn't accept me if I were to come out. It's just so difficult." Elizaveta mumbled softly. It seemed as though she was still struggling with all of this. Natalia removed her face from her knees, and she looked over to the Hungarian girl.
"...it is stupid and foolish to hide who you are." Natalia said in a tone that almost sounded scolding, and made her seem like a hypocrite, since she used her incestuous desires to cover it all up. But Elizaveta just smirked at this, knowing this was just the way that Natalia acted.
"Yeah...I'm just a fool. A fool in love." Elizaveta said, and then she abruptly leaned in and kissed the blonde girl, whose eyes widened at this, but she kissed back, never tasting something quite as sweet as this. The kiss was long and passionate, before they eventually parted. Elizaveta got up, and she helped Natalia up as well.
"Why don't we go show the boys how a REAL gay couple is supposed to be?" Elizaveta said, causing Natalia to smirk.
"Lets." Natalia agreed, walking off with Elizaveta. Almost all of the pain and suffering felt gone. She felt more confident now. More confident and comfortable than she had in years. She finally knew who she was. Natalia Arlovskaya. Lesbian and proud. And in love with Elizaveta Héderváry. All felt right.