"Hey, Padfoot?" The infamous Marauders were currently lounging in the Gryffindor common room after being kicked out of the library, Great Hall, and Mcgonagall's office (in this case the term "kicked out" was quite nearly literal). Remus was trying to study while James repeatedly kicked his leg from his position on the floor. Peter was staring in awe at James from his perch on a chair. Sirius was reading a muggle magazine and cutting out pictures of girls to put on his walls at home. He was sprawled across the couch, leaving Remus squished on the end.
"Hey, Padfoot?" James repeated after he got no response.
"Padfoot? Sirius? Girl-hair?" Still no response. Sirius was much too involved in his magazine.
"Oi! Sexy thing!" James called in a girly voice. Sirius' head snapped up immediately and Peter swore he saw his ears perk up like a puppy.
"Oh, it's just you." Sirius sighed once he saw James laughing. He started to go back to his magazine.
"Wait, Padfoot!"
"What!?" He asked exasperatedly.
"You know how I'm super awesome and funny?"
"Suuure." He said sarcastically. James did not pick up on this.
"Well then, why doesn't Evans laugh at my hilarious jokes?" He mused staring up at the ceiling.
Oh god, not this again Sirius thought.
"Why don't you ask Moony?" Sirius said "He's the smart one around here."
"Good idea!" Sirius sighed in relief as James' attention was shifted. "Oi! Moony!"
"Yes?" Asked Remus after shooting Sirius a dirty look.
"Why doesn't Evans laugh at my jokes?"
"Maybe it's because you're a prat around her and a git to her best friend?" He snapped. Remus did not like being interrupted while reading, and James had asked basically the same question at least six times this week.
"Well, well, I guess it's Moony's time of the month!" James said with a cockily raised eyebrow.
Moony glared once more before returning to his book. Peter, who'd been watching the whole thing as if James was a god, giggled uncontrollably.
"What do you think Wormtail? Why doesn't the lovely Evans laugh at my awesome jokes?" James asked
"Um...well...erm...I don't know..." Peter seemed unable to grasp that someone didn't laugh at James. "Maybe she can't!" He exclaimed suddenly.
"What?" Asked James sitting up in surprise.
"Maybe Evans can't laugh! Think about it! Have you ever seen her laugh?"
"Well...she has laughed around Snivillus before...but that can't count! She was probably actually grimacing in pain."
Peter and James laughed loudly and Lily shot them a dirty look from the other side of the common room where she was reading. Peter winced and James winked at her. The dirty look turned to a death glare and a threateningly raised wand that made even The Great James back away a little. Peter ran to the other side of the room and crouched in a corner.
Once James had called him back they continued their conversation.
"We have to be sure...but how to check..." James mused.
"Tickle her!" Peter proclaimed proudly.
"Brilliant!" James crouch down and started to crawl over to Lily. Sirius looked up and even Remus lowered his book a little to see. James had crawled over to her chair and was hiding behind it. Lily continued to read her book, apparently sensing no disturbance. James glanced over to his fellow Marauders and Peter gave him a thumbs up. James slowly began to creep around to the side of the chair. He reached his hand up was about to tickle her when Lily flicked out her wand, pointed it directly between James' eyes, and snapped "I'll give you three seconds to get out or I'll hex your brains out", all without looking up from her book. James gulped in terror and his eyes went crossed looking at her wand.
"But Evans I-"
"Three"
"But can you-"
"Two"
"Wait! I just want to-"
"One."
"Ah!" James screamed in horror as his beloved hair grew long, greasy, and green. Unfortunately for him, Lily was an expert at nonverbal charms.
"Oh god no! Not my beautiful hair! What have you done?!"
The other Marauders were rolling on the floor laughing. Tears were streaming from their eyes.
"This...is...the...best...day...ever!" Sirius exclaimed between laughs.
James had crumpled to the floor and was whimpering while clutching at his once perfect hair.
"No...no...it can't be! My hair! My luscious beautiful hair! How shall I move on!" Suddenly, James shut up (for once). He listened very closely. There it was again. A giggle. A stifled giggle. He looked up Lily had her hand over her mouth and was trying to conceal her laughter.
"You're laughing!" James exclaimed standing up at once.
"What! No I'm not!" Lily said fastly.
"Yes you are!"
"Am not!"
"Am too!"
"'Am too'? Honestly James, work on your grammar!" She said scathingly with a supirior look.
"Want to help me?" James asked suggestively. He went to run his hand through his hair per usual but when he touched it he screamed in terror. It was too much for Lily. She lost it. She was all out laughing. She went into silent laughing mode. She was steadily turning red due to a lack of air. She actually fell back on the seat. Tears were streaming from her face. Finally, she recovered. But lost it again as soon as she looked back at James. Eventually he joined in as well. It lasted for a good five minutes before James once again opened his idiotic mouth.
"So, wanna snog now?"
This time she didn't give him a three second warning.
As Lily chased James from the common room Sirius turned to Remus "Guess what! New Record!"
"For?"
"How long they managed to be in each others presence without Lily hexing him! Maybe they will get together..."
"Oh god! Sirius whatever you do don't tell James! He'll never shut up!"
"Okay okay! Not that he shuts up as it is..."
Late that night the Marauders were lying in bed trying to sleep. It didn't work.
"Hey guys?" Said James dreamily. He didn't wait for a reply. "Ya know Lily...her laugh is really pretty...and her eyes...and her hair...and her skin...and she smells really goo-"
He was suddenly interrupted by two well-aimed hexes and a stunning charm.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Please review and critique. This is my first Marauder fanfiction but I want to write more so some criticism would be more than welcome and very helpful! Thanks for reading!
