Chorizo con Huevo!
an Inuyasha fanfiction
by
mkh2
Disclaimer: I am quite certain that if I were the author of Inuyasha I would not be putting out any ideas for my work on I'd instead turn it into a manga and make you shell out a whole lotta bucks for my stuff. However, I'm not, therefore here we go…
Ever heard of the game Chorizo con Huevo? Every time somebody asks you a question you have to answer with the word Chorizo con Huevo, no matter how silly a question, and with the most serious face you can muster. The first person to smile or laugh while saying the answer loses. Over the years there have been many new incarnations, recently including one rather embarrassing answer…
"Chorizo con Huevo!"
or
The Wrath of a Slighted Fox-Demon
"Chorizo con huevo," Mikki said, a bored expression on her face while flipping through the JPop magazine.
"Okay, okay, okay, how about… What did you do to… my dog last night?" Kagome grinned, leaning forward.
Mikki put down the magazine, looked Kagome straight in the eye and said….
"Chorizo con Huevo."
Kagome fell off the bed laughing.
"You know, Kagome, not only did you ask me five variations of that question already, but we still need to work on that English assignment," Mikki rubbed the bridge of her nose tiredly.
Kagome pouted. "But I thought that was English."
"That's Spanish. I suggested 'In my pants' but you turned bright red on the first word," Mikki grinned, reaching for the English book that sat precariously on the edge of the bed.
"That's icky!" squeaked Kagome.
"Not necessarily," sighed Mikki, flipping through the English book. "'Hey, where is the ice cream?' 'In my pants.' 'Do you have any fives?' 'In my pants.' 'Donde esta el baño?' 'In my pants.' 'Do you have any grey poupon?' …Well, okay, that one is kinda gross." Mikki wrinkled her nose as a memory of one of Tippy's jokes floated to mind. "Yech… and that convo she had with her buddy. 'Depends on the consistency of…' Double yech!"
Kagome blinked. "Ahh."
Mikki blinked back. "Ahh." She handed the book to Kagome. "Beee… Ceeee…"
"Hey, Inuyasha, I have this great game to show you!" Kagome grinned up at Inuyasha while she packed her bag.
Inuyasha grunted. "Oh, yeah? What is it?"
"Chorizo con huevo," Kagome answered promptly.
"Cho-lee what?" Inuyasha blinked in surprise.
"The name of the game is 'Chorizo con Huevo,'" smiled Kagome. "Mikki taught me. You see—"
"Ah, lawrd, heah we go," Inuyasha flopped back dramatically onto her bed.
"What?"
"What?"
"Never mind, I don't want to know. Anyway!" Kagome clapped her hands together. "You see, one person asks the other person a question and whatever they ask has to be answered by the other person with 'Chorizo con huevo.' They go back and forth and the first person to smile or laugh loses. Here's one: what did you do to my cat last night?"
"Cholizo con huevo," Inuyasha deadpanned, his tongue working around the word.1 "What does that mean anyway?"
"Um… it means, sausage and egg," Kagome blinked. She zipped her bag. "Done packing– and I've got extra ramen too."
"Is it a sort of breakfast food?" Inuyasha picked up the bag, pulling it over his shoulder.
"Mikki said 'Depends – not necessarily,'" Kagome grabbed the smaller (but not much smaller) bag of ramen.
"What's that mean?" Inuyasha reached and picked the bag out of her arms.
"I have no idea."
"What does that mean?"
"It means, uh, it means… it doesn't matter what it means! It sounds, funny, doesn't it? And, seriously, I think that's the whole point."
"So, instead of saying 'Chorizo con huevo' I could say 'In my pan-tsu'?" Inuyasha blinked over at the girl, ignoring the leaf that fluttered into his view. "'Where is the tama?' 'In my pan-tsu.'" Inuyasha grinned at the phrase. "Sounds weird."
"Yea- yeah," Kagome turned pink. "And it's 'pants.'"
"Pan-tsu. Pan-tsu. Pa-a-a-a-an-ts-s-s-s-suu. Pan-tsssss. Pan-ts. Pants. Pants. In my pan-ts," Inuyasha sounded it out, trying to resist adding the soft 'u' sound at the end of the word.
"Right. In your pants. Seriously, though, I think we should stick with Chorizo con Huevo. After all, it is easier to say." Kagome nodded her head as though agreeing with herself. "Mm-hm, mm-hm, Mm-hm."
"Aw, but where is the challenge in that? I'll say 'In my pants' and you say 'Chorizo con Huevo' if you want." Inuyasha nodded proudly at the compromise he had just come up with. "Now we have another game besides Janken to play. It's been getting hard to think of new words to skip to."
"Mo, but I like that game," Kagome squinted at Inuyasha from the corner of her eyes.
"Course you do – you always win," Inuyasha grumbled. He shifted her backpack along his shoulders. It was a little heavier than usual – hopefully that meant more ramen instead of more books.
"A little heavy, ne?" Kagome glanced at him as she skipped over a stick.
"Nah, not really," Inuyasha denied, not that he would admit that it was rather heavy and that the straps were beginning to dig into his shoulders.
"Oh, okay, good," Kagome nodded. "I had put in some extra ramen and chocolate and hoped it didn't add too much weight."
"Hn," Inuyasha tried not to look too excited. He was gonna pig out tonight!
Kagome grinned slightly – his ears had perked up considerably at the mention of the extra food. Ten cent salty noodles – who would've figured that the big, bad hanyou had such a yen for them?
The two walked on in a comfortable silence, broken by occasional questions and "chorizo con huevo" or "in my pants" answers, Inuyasha trying hard not to laugh and lose because every time he answered Kagome would go slightly pink.
"Hey, where are the guys?" Kagome suddenly asked, looking around.
"In my pan – uh, I mean, not too far from here – we just go over this hill, and then follow the river west for a bit and we should come to the clearing they are camped at," Inuyasha stated. "Why? Tired?"
"No!" Kagome pouted slightly. Well, okay, she was tired but she wasn't the one carrying the heavy backpack and she didn't want to make herself seem too weak.
"Oh, then are you–" Inuyasha broke off, ears swiveling around alert and stared through the trees and bushes along the paths behind Kagome.
Kagome went quiet. She had noticed that Inuyasha seemed to have sensed or heard something and she wanted to make sure he could hear it well enough to know whether it was dangerous or not.
Inuyasha stepped forward and hesitated. Kagome touched a hand to his arm near the elbow and looked at him in confusion.
"I think… a cry?" Inuyasha murmured. He glanced and Kagome and wordlessly the both of them entered the woods.
"Ah, there – you see the small pile of cloth?" Inuyasha whispered.
"Do you smell anything unusual? Is it a human or…" Kagome trailed off and looked up at him from where they both crouched in the bushes.
"Well, it seems human but…" Inuyasha frowned. He was having a hard time picking up the scent, like something was obscuring it, making it hard to tell the difference between its scent and its surroundings.
"So that was what was making the sound?" she asked lowly.
"Think so."
"Okay!" Kagome shot to her feet and strode through the bushes, leaving a gaping Inuyasha to stare after her for about three seconds before shooting off after her.
"Hey, what are you – what if it's dangerous?" Inuyasha hissed into her ear.
"Baka – didn't you say it was human? And look at the size – it has to be a child? Children aren't dangerous!" Kagome snapped at him as they drew closer to the little figure.
"But, but," Inuyasha spluttered. After all, maybe that was true in her time, and often enough in his time, but it wasn't necessarily always true; there were plenty of dangerous kids – hey, think of Kohaku!
"Hey, kid, are you alright?" Kagome crouched down next to the unmoving figure.
"Mm?" the cloth moved around until a dark head popped out, tearful eyes looking blearily up at Kagome. "Ah?" the parched lips parted softly, trembling.
"Hey, we're not going to hurt you, right Inuyasha?"
"Feh!" Inuyasha stomped back to the bushes to pick up the backpack he had left there.
"Ignore him – he's not good with emotions. Anyway, are you hurt anywhere? Where are your parents? What's your name?" Kagome rambled at the child who blinked a few more times at her.
"Slow down, Kagome, I think you're overwhelming him," Inuyasha dumped the bag next to her and crouched behind it. "Hey kid, where's your village?" The child's face crumpled and he buried his face into his hands, silent sobs wracking his tiny frame.
"Whoa, whoa!" Inuyasha looked taken aback, ears flattening to his head as he stared in shock at the distressed child. "What did I do?"
"Inuyasha, you didn't do anything," Kagome shook her head at him and pulled the tiny child out of the pile of scrap cloth and into her arms. "It's okay, take your time, we aren't going to hurt you," she murmured at him. Suddenly she hit on an idea and, fiddling with the latch on her backpack, opened it to reveal the large quantities of junk food piled on top of her other supplies. She pulled out a chocolate bar.
"Here, are you hungry? Everything's better with chocolate you know," she waved the bar temptingly under the boy's nose.
The little boy's nose, the only part of his face not covered by his hands, twitched, and his fingers spread out to look at the bar of chocolate. Seemingly pausing to think for a moment, he reached out and grabbed the bar of chocolate, fingers tremulously sliding over the paper and aluminum foil, before ripping it off and shoving the bar at his face.
"Hrmf, urmf, hurmf," the boy eagerly sounded as he scarfed it down.
"Wow, you really were hungry," Kagome's eyes widened. She dug into her backpack and pulled out another bar. "Here, kid, have another." The boy paused in mid bite then quickly grabbed the proffered candy to his chest, shoving it down his shirt. He finished of the first bar and licked at his fingers and lips, looking somewhat warily at Inuyasha and Kagome.
"Better, yeah?" asked Kagome. The boy tentatively nodded. "What's your name kid.
"Dai- Daichi," he murmured softly, dark wet eyes looking up at Kagome sadly.
"Where's your family?" she asked.
"Guh-gone," his face crumpled and his head dropped into his hands once more, shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs.
"What happened?" Kagome asked, sharing a concerned look with Inuyasha.
"A fierce, a fearsome demon, tricked the villagers, everyone fooled! No- there's no one left," the boy whispered out of his hands.
"Why? What happened?" Kagome gasped.
The boy's head rose slightly as he began to breathe out his frightened tale.
"Long ago, at least for me, the villagers had made a pact with a great kitsune youkai, whose tails numbered seven, who had lived to their north in the mountains. The villagers had chosen a spot at the foot of the mountains, seeking protection from bandits and evil youkai that would pass by. In exchange, the villagers needed to provide a friend for his firstborn son, who was exceedingly lonely as there was no one for him to play with. The villagers eagerly complied and took the orphaned son of a recently departed fisherman and his wife who died of heartbreak not long after.
The boy was hailed as their hero, at first, and the boy lived happily, playing with his dear friend, the young kitsune, and being admired for his bravery for consorting with this demon.
…But, eventually, as things always do, the heart of man blackened, and they turned on the boy. They were jealous of the many favors given to the boy by his kitsune friend, who loved him so dearly as a brother, and one day, when the boy was making his walk to the glade at the foot of the mountain where he would meet with the demon, a great number of the villagers came together and savagely and brutally murdered the boy.
The son of the five-tailed kitsune came upon the body of his friend thusly, and he ran screaming for his father. This stirred up the fox demon's wrath and he bore down on the villager in a whirlwind of fire and destroyed everything in his path. There's nothing left, nothing at all…
"And I'm all that's left." The boy wiped his dirty sleeve over his face. "And I'm all alone."
"Bad luck," mumbled Kagome, her eyes looking off into the distance.
Inuyasha frowned at the sky. "So, should we go fight this demon?"
The boy's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh, no, you mustn't. The great kitsune had only overreacted a little bit, and had forgotten how strong he was, and how powerful his fire was, and weak we humans were, when he ran down to confront the villagers. He hadn't meant to destroy everything – it just happened."
"Wait, so, he accidentally destroyed the village?" Kagome blinked in confusion.
"Yes, it was an accident. But, but, it was horrible, all the fire, and the screaming. A few villagers managed to run away when they had seen it coming, but they never stopped running and are gone. A few other villagers had gone on a journey to get supplies and have yet to return. I'm staying here, to wait for my father."
"But, what if they run into the other villagers on their way here?"
"Doubtful – the villagers ran in the opposite direction of the way the others have to come," the boy wiped his eyes and stood up straight, his small chin trembling as he tried to pull himself together. "I'll be fine. I can take care of myself."
"Right," sniffed Inuyasha. "A small kid like you? I had it hard enough back when I was a shorty like you, and I'm a powerful hanyou."
The boy started to glare at Inuyasha when Kagome cut in. "What Inuyasha is trying to say is, it's not a good idea to be alone. You might think you can take care of yourself, and you might be right, but it might be a better idea to come along with us. Why, back at camp, we even have an orphaned kitsune, even smaller than you, who we take care of. You could play together, or…"
"No! My mind is made up! I'm staying here," the boy sat down proudly on the ground again, a few dead leaves crackling under him. "If Father takes too long in getting back, I'll go myself, but it isn't time yet."
Inuyasha and Kagome exchanged glances before the both of them straightened up again.
"Well, if you say so, but here," Kagome pulled out some chips and a couple of granola bars, "we can give you this…"
"Hey," squawked Inuyasha, "those are my favorite chips!"
"Shh, Inuyasha, we can always get some more later," she poked him in the side. "Daichi-chan…"
"Not –chan!"
"Daichi-kun, don't forget to burn the wrappers when you're done – otherwise you'll attract some nasty bugs and animals, and the wrappers will never go away, okay?" Kagome waved slightly at the boy and turned to leave with Inuyasha when the boy called to them.
"My, my father, he will be a while in coming, so… will you play with me?"
End Part One
1Why does Inuyasha pick up the word so easily? It's because of the similarities in pronunciation of certain sounds and words between the English and Japanese language. After all one of the biggest differences in the pronunciation is the 'r' – it'd come off sounding like a cross between the 'l' and the 'r'. So, depending on how harsh sounding he can make it sound, it would sound either like "chorizo" or "cholizo."
--
Daichi can mean either "great first son" or "great land" in Japanese.
Chorizo con huevo and In my pants are in italics because they are not speaking Japanese.