Ask Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles, including the book and the TNT show; Jane Rizzoli belongs to Tess Gerritsen and Angie Harmon, and Maura Isles belongs to Tess Gerritsen and Sasha Alexander. The plot for this story is my own, but that is all I could or would stake claim to. Leave feedback if you wish; these girls are delectable, and my muse would appreciate your affirmation!

Synopsis: "It's just that I didn't ask for much. I don't think I really knew how." In the face of Maura's childhood, can Jane teach herself to give what the doctor can't ask for? Post-ep for 1 x 08, with lines from 1 x 06. Mostly fluff with a little bit of sugar on the side. Rated M for language use only.

"It's just that I didn't ask for much. I don't think I really knew how."

Maura's words, shaky and innocent, had been haunting Jane for three days. She remembered the severe look of regret in her best friend's green eyes, remembered being unable to tear her gaze away as the normally unflappable doctor paced and fidgeted in sadness. Jane had known that Maura was adopted, of course, and recognized that much of her best friend's social awkwardness had to be seated in the childhood she'd spent with the wealthy socialites who had taken her in. She would never have guessed, however, that Maura had been so incredibly alone for so long.

It made sense, though. Maura had asked for nothing since Jane had met her, seemingly content to allow invitations to the Dirty Robber or softball games to come from Jane or Korsak, rather than her own understandable curiosity. Sure, she spent more on ridiculous shoes each month than Jane made in a year, but they were what she provided for herself. Dates had never given her more than the requisite first bouquet of flowers or candy, and even her requests to have Jane join her at yoga or running were saddled in concern for her well being. Yoga was supposed to make her less stressed. Running was supposed to provide her body with anti-bodies or pleasant bacteria or some shit. Language, Jane! Right.

Why had she not realized this before? Jane spent a lot of time observing her best friend, and a lot of time listening to her best friend. She spent quite a bit of time teaching her best friend to play softball and watch sports properly (profanity, included). She spent some of her time wishing that her best friend would fall in love with her, too.

No. Jane shook her head. You know better than that, Janie. Don't think about Maura like that because you don't have a shot in hell of not losing her for good. Mentally tearing herself away from unbidden though common thoughts about Maura, Jane returned to musing about her obliviousness towards Maura' newest social struggle. It was dangerous ground to imagine Maura as something more than her best friend. The lanky brunette knew that the beautiful genius doctor was utterly out of her league, and she was almost certain that Maura was straight. She had said, if we liked women, just before they went undercover at the Merch.

Then again, Maura had spent twenty minutes during a case near a church talking about the marked and unmarked versions of pronouns in the history of the English language. Jane had, of course, tuned most of it out, but her slight obsession with Maura's voice had kept her clued in enough to recognize that Maura's "we" might simply have been her vague way of including Jane's sexuality in her statement. After all, Maura seemed to believe that Jane was straight, and Jane had never corrected her. It wouldn't have worked well for Jane to casually mention, Oh, yeah, I was straight. Until I met you. And then I realized that I hadn't ever been anything that meant as much as you. No. Way too cheesy and definitely too disastrous. Plus, the golden haired beauty had specifically stated that Jane was not her type. Therefore, even if the very fact that she had a vagina wasn't an issue, Jane would never have a chance with Maura at all.

Except…

And suddenly, the light bulb went on

"It wasn't that they didn't love me," Maura had said, sounding certain that her parents had cared for her deeply. It was simply that she hadn't known how to ask for their attention or affection. "The less I asked for, the less time they had for me." Wasn't that exactly what Jane was doing?

She loved Maura. Loved her with more of her genuine self than she had ever loved anyone else. But she had assumed that Maura wouldn't return her feelings because Maura had never initiated their flirting or tactile behavior between them. It had always been Jane who sought out her best friend when Hoyt had terrorized her, Jane who brought food and coffee to the morgue during slow days, even Jane who had suggested they practice together at the shooting range and batting cages. But what if Maura didn't know how to ask someone else out? At its very simplest, flirting with another person requires a desire to have something with them or from them. It would certainly explain why Maura had dated men exclusively during their friendship; men had given her their numbers, and asked for hers in return. They had smiled first, kissed first, probably even orgasmed first as was the cliché.

"Well, it's a good thing you're not my type." That had thrown Jane for a loop. Sputtering in surprised, she had said whatever first came to mind lest she allow herself to recognize how painful those words had been.

Suddenly frustrated with her circling train of thought, Jane shook her head once more and downed the last of her beer. She had completely missed the third, fourth, and fifth innings of the Sox/Yankee game in front of her, which said something about how deeply Maura's tearful words had affect her. Clambering off of her couch, the tall brunette headed to the kitchen as Jo Friday watched disinterestedly from the corner. "You're being ridiculous, Rizzoli. You don't do this wishy washy shit. You dig Maura, take a chance. So what if she's a chick. So what if she's your best friend and if you screw this up, you will be absolutely heart broken. Get your shit together and make a decision." Leaning on the counter, Jane decided that she might try and take a page out of Maura's book and think it through logically.

Fact #1: She wanted Maura bad.

Fact #2: She wanted to find Maura's parents and smack the shit out of them, and then she wanted to find Maura and kiss her until she forgot about boarding school and Hoyt and being alone.

Fact #3: Maura had been an awfully convincing Merch waitress.

Fact #4: Maura couldn't lie.

Well, there it was, in marker on the door to her fridge. Jane was done pretending that being in love with Maura while just being her friend was okay. She was done wishing that someone else would come along and show the stunning doctor how wonderful she really was. She was definitely done watching Maura's amygdala and lacrimal glands have reactions in front of her without being able to hold more than her hands. She was gonna find a way to tell Maura she loved her, and prove that she would die trying to be good enough.

Great plan, Rizzoli. Now what?