Author's Notes: This is chapter 1 in what is going to possibly be a freaking long story. I've got pages and pages of outlines, but the story is kind of already running away from me. In a good way, half of what happens in this chapter wasn't even planned. It just came to me as I was typing. Anyway, the future of this story has yet to fully make itself known to me, but plans are in the works to make it an OT6+1 and there's going to be lots of comic canon probably dragged into this. It won't be necessary to already know comic canon for this, although it might make things a bit less confusing? Just a heads up.

The link to the prompt this is written for can be found in my profile.

This story is rated T for now, but there's a chance that it will go up later.

This isn't how their first visit to The Watchtower is supposed to go.

It's supposed to be exciting, a 'coming of age' moment where the League finally accepts them. The day when they're finally welcomed into the hero community as more than just sidekicks.

They've dreamed of this moment and now it's come and it's nothing like it's supposed to be.

Robin can still hear Megan's screams echoing in his head as the light from the teleporter fades. He can still feel the pain and the fear that she had unintentionally shared with them empathetically amidst all of the confusion. It's shaken him to his very core, and so few things can shake him up.

He composes himself as best he can and casts a weary look at their welcoming party. Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash.

And J'onn, who is on the platform and taking Megan from Superboy's arms before Robin even notices him. He gets one last glance at her before the two of them disappear through a door down below. He tries not to think about how frail she looks in her martian form or how bad the burns that cover her legs look.

Kid Flash groans and Robin shifts him to a more comfortable position against his shoulder and helps him off of the platform. His leg is twisted at a painful looking angle, and he knows it's healed that way. It'll have to be broken and re-set.

Flash is there to take Wally off his hands at the bottom, and Batman is close behind him, barking orders.

Wonder Woman is suddenly on the platform, relieving Artemis of a half-conscious Kaldur, bringing a water bottle to his lips. He doesn't drink though, instead croaks out a weak, "Megan, is Megan alright?"

Robin doesn't stop to listen to the answer, because they won't know. Only J'onn can say for sure, if he even knows himself. So he pushes past Batman and heads for the door the two of them had left through.

A hand grabs his shoulder, stopping him, and he twists around to face Batman, struggling to stay calm, to keep cool. But it's hard, because he's beginning to realize, with growing horror, that the echoing pain in his head isn't an echo.

They're still feeling her pain, and it hurts. And it occurs to him that this means she's definitely still alive, and he feels slightly relieved only she's still suffering and ohgodshe'ssuffering-

And something deep inside of him says that he deserves this, that all of them deserve to suffer with her in her pain, because they let her down. They let. Her. Down.

"Answer me, Robin."

He tears himself from his thoughts and glances up at Batman. He hadn't even realized the man was speaking.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"I asked if you were okay," he repeats, fixing Robin with a stare that's more Bruce than Batman, and he must look pretty awful if Batman is daring to show his fatherly side.

Robin looks past him, at the rest of his team. Kaldur looks ill, trembling hands gripping one of the water bottles Wonder Woman had given him. He looks like he might pass out at any moment.

Artemis is sitting next to him, her head on his shoulder. There's blood in her hair and on her face and her hands are completely red-brown with it. She'd found Kid Flash before the rest of them, before his speedster healing had kicked in. Explosions do nasty things to people, and she'd seen it first hand while pulling shrapnel from his mangled body and trying so hard to make sure he healed normally.

She's still shaking, casting nervous glances at Kid Flash where he sits clinging to his uncle and sobbing. He's in shock, has been since he'd woken up mid healing, body still torn open and he had screamed and thrashed before slipping unconscious once more. Flash is whispering to him, trying to calm him down, to get him to respond in some way.

Robin doubts he even knows what's wrong with Megan, and he can only imagine what the pain and screams filling his head are doing to him on top of the shock.

Wonder Woman has moved on to Connor, now, and is talking to him in a hushed voice. He has his head in his hands, and he flinches away when she moves to put her arm around him. He's doing what he always does when he can't handle things, he's withdrawing into himself, ignoring everyone around him.

Overall, Robin thinks he's fared the best. He knows that maybe he shouldn't have, that he shouldn't be okay because he'd been there to watch a great deal of Kid Flash's body knit itself back together. And he'd been there to help Superboy pull Megan's body from the fire. He'd even stumbled across the corpse of one of the baddies who'd been unfortunate enough to be too close to the explosion. So no, he shouldn't be ok. But he is.

Gotham does that to people.

In front of him, Batman makes a worried noise in the back of his throat, and a heavy hand falls onto his shoulder again, squeezes it reassuringly. Robin looks at him and he smiles weakly.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna be alright."

oOo

Someone is talking. He can hear them, but the words are all wrong, too slow. Tooslowtooslowtooslow-

Why can't they talk faster?

And ohgodthe pain. He hurts, hurtshurts- His leg. He thinks it's his leg. Fuckhe doesn't even care what it is. Just needs it to stop. To go away.

The voice is getting faster- or maybe it's just his mind finally slowing down, he doesn't know. Doesn't really care. He catches snatches of words. His name, hears his name a lot.

"Wally!"

He lurches upright, scrambles towards the voice, and he can hear someone screaming now and-

Oh. It's him, he's the one screaming, because the pain is absolute agony now and whywon'titjuststop?

The voice is talking again, and Wally realizes he's clutching whoever it is, clinging to them and he's crying because it just hurts sobadsobadsobad-

"Calm down, Wally. Your leg, you're going to make it worse." The voice is so familiar, only it's not because it's so frightened and shaky and Uncle Barry never sounds like this, so it can'tbe him. Only it is, because he'd know that voice anywhere. And ohgod he hurts so bad.

"Wally, Wally please, listen to me-"

He draws in a ragged breath, tries to listen, he really does, but he's starting to feel dizzy, and the voice is starting to do that thing again where it sounds too slow and-

"Wally, I need to break your leg and re-set it. Do you understand-"

He doesn't understand, his head is too fuzzy, but he nods anyway, and then and then-

He whimpers because suddenly he knows what's about to happen, and his fingers scrabble for purchase against the ground, looking for anything he can cling to, like it will lessen the pain he's about to feel and-

There's a crack and painpainpainpainpain-

And then everything goes black.

oOo

Artemis doesn't really know when Black Canary shows up with Green Arrow in tow. She thinks it may have been sometime during her second shower, while she'd been scrubbing her skin raw, desperate to forget the way Wally's blood had looked on it.

She's seen blood before, spilled it herself even, and she can't figure out why it's bothering her so much now.

She curls up into a tighter ball on the bed and tries not to think about it, letting Dinah stroke her hair. The woman is sitting next to her, humming softly.

They're still on The Watchtower. The entire team. They'd all refused to leave, because Megan is still here and they can't leave until they know she's going to be alright. And the League hadn't even tried to argue with them, had just dragged them off to the infirmary and patched them up before showing them to their bedrooms for the night.

Artemis has a feeling that she won't be getting much sleep though. Whatever pain they'd been feeling from Megan has long since faded, but even so, she can't close her eyes without seeing Wally's blood everywhere or hearing Megan's screams.

In the end, with Dinah's comforting gesture, she does fall asleep.

And when she wakes up screaming several hours later, Dinah is still there.

oOo

Connor doesn't dream. He's aware of what dreams are- a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep- the G-gnomes had programmed the exact definition into his mind, just like they'd done with so many other things.

He reflects on everything that's happened and thinks that this entire night must be what a dream feels like. Because after the explosion, everything had been a blur. Yet he can remember in stark clarity, he knows what he did and how he did it. Can remember the way the smoke had choked him and how suffocating the heat had been as he'd been searching for Megan. But he can't remember actually doing it. He just knows that he did.

It's like he had been on... Autopilot? He believes that to be the correct term.

So this whole night had been like a dream, or maybe it's just him hoping it is. That he'll wake up and everything will be okay.

He knows that won't happen, though.

Because he doesn't dream.

oOo

The view from The Watchtower is breathtaking. The stars are bright against the black backdrop of space, the earth below is all blue and green-brown, and the way the clouds swirl across it's surface is simply beautiful.

Kaldur wishes he were in a situation where he could admire it all properly.

Instead, he's waiting in the conference room for Batman.

He glances over to where the rest of his team sits, minus Megan. He suspects that, like himself, none of them have had much sleep, if any at all. Still, they all look to be in much better shape than they'd been in the night before.

He is thankful that Batman allowed them to wait until morning for their debriefing.

Beside him, Artemis makes a choked sound and rubs a hand over her face.

"Are you okay?" Wally asks. His voice is hoarse and scratchy and Kaldur shudders as he recalls the boy's screams from the night before as his uncle had reset his leg.

Artemis jumps at the sound and drops her hand to the table. She studies Wally with bloodshot eyes for several minutes. "I'm fine," she says, at last, "What about you? You're awful calm for someone who-" She trails off, unable to finish, but her unsaid words hang in the air.

Kaldur watches as the speedster pales and looks away. "I don't really remember it all that much," he tells her and Kaldur can't be the only one who sees through the lie.

No one calls him out on it though, as Batman chooses that moment to finally enter the room. He's followed closely by J'onn and Black Canary.

Everyone's eyes are on the Martian Manhunter the second he appears, searching his expression for something, anything that will tell them if Megan is okay. His face gives nothing away as he takes a seat on the other side of the too big conference table. Dinah is less composed and the sadness in her eyes is all too noticeable as she sits down next to J'onn.

Kaldur tells himself not to fear the worst, but it's hard.

"How is Megan?"

It's the first time Kaldur has heard Connor speak since their arrival at the Watchtower, and the Atlantean is relieved to hear him. It's one less thing to be concerned about.

J'onn frowns, and shifts forward in his seat. "Megan will live," he tells them and the entire team relaxes a little.

Megan is alright, she's going to live, and Kaldur finds himself breathing easy for the first time since the disastrous mission started the night before.

J'onn must have read his thoughts, because he quickly continues, his words wiping away his relief. "Megan is stabilized, but the damage from the burns is permanent. It is unlikely that she will ever be able to use her legs again."

"What?" Wally jumps to his feet so fast that he knocks his chair over. He doesn't seem to notice. "What do you mean it's permanent?"

"Martians are extremely vulnerable to fire. The damage it causes is often lasting, as our immune systems are incapable of healing burns in the manner that a human's would."

Kaldur swallows the lump that's formed in his throat and finds that his mouth is suddenly too dry. "When can we see her?"

Batman takes a seat across from him, fixing him with his unseen glare. The one that the team always finds so unnerving. "Megan is currently resting. She's been through a great trauma and I think it would be best if you all saw her later."

He opens his mouth to protest, but then thinks better of it. It would set a bad precedent if he suddenly decided to question Batman's authority. Now is not the time to argue with one of the mentors.

Black Canary clears her throat and gives them all a weak smile. "Perhaps you all can visit her after the debriefing?" She casts a wary glance at Batman, who gives her what Kaldur can only guess is a stern look.

"Perhaps. Now Kaldur, tell me what happened."

oOo

Megan can hear them approaching. Their thoughts are loud and she can't help but hear. She blocks it out almost immediately, because she knows how they feel about her hearing their thoughts. It doesn't really matter either way, though, because she can still feel their worry for her, even if she can no longer hear their thoughts of it.

She looks down at her hands and briefly considers trying to shift back into her human form. She's completely martian right now, elongated head and red eyes, clawed hands, strangely proportioned limbs. And most notably, she's pale.

She's white.

They're going to notice, even if they may be too polite to question it. Martians are green. They know this because they've seen her in her green humanoid form, and her uncle in his.

And quite suddenly she remembers that they'd already seen her in this form, as well. The night before, when the fire had reached her and she'd been unable to maintain her shape shift.

They already know.

And she doesn't think she has the strength to shift yet, anyway.

The door at the end of the room slides open, revealing Kaldur. The rest of the team follows him in, and she doesn't miss the startled look that crosses Wally's face, or the brief amount of confusion that rolls off of him.

He hadn't seen her the night before. She can't recall why. But he doesn't seem the slightest bit horrified or frightened by her appearance, and it warms her heart a little.

She smiles at them the best she can with a mouth that really isn't made for smiling. They all smile back, and she can feel the flood of relief they have at seeing her, and suddenly they're all moving the few chairs in the room closer so they can sit near her.

Robin opts to get on the bed instead, climbs on it with all of the grace she's so used to seeing from him. He settles in at the foot of it and grins his little impish grin.

"How ya feeling?"

Before she can answer, someone is taking her hand and squeezing it, and she looks over to see Kaldur. She squeezes his hand in return.

"I'm doing better," she says, "It only hurts a little now."

She realizes it's the wrong thing to say the moment the words leave her mouth. No one is smiling anymore, and the concern is back. Even Robin's grin has vanished.

"There's really no need to worry, guys," she tells them quickly, and tears her eyes away from her friends' faces to look down at where her legs are hidden under the covers. "I can barely even feel the pain." Because she can barely feel her legs. She doesn't tell them that though.

Beside her, Connor reaches forward hesitantly, takes her hand in his just like he'd seen Kaldur do. Then his hand moves and he runs his thumb up and over the strange, sinewy muscles of her forearm. She reaches out to take his hand in both of hers as it retreats back to his side.

"I'm fine. Really."

"It hurt," he whispers, and his voice cracks as he speaks, "I- We could feel it, it hurt. I thought you were going to-"

She drops his hand at the sudden realization of what she'd done. She'd projected her pain onto them, her fear, she'd invaded their minds and frightened them all and hurt them. She'd hurtthem. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize-" She can't contain her horror and she knows it's pouring off of her in waves, and from the looks on their faces they can feel it. "I'm so sorry, I'm sososorry I'm-"

I'm so sorry!

Everyone in the room tenses as the thought penetrates their minds. She can feel herself shaking, trembling, and she can't block out the hum of their thoughts anymore.

Megan! M'gann.

She jerks her head to look at Artemis where she sits next to Connor, and the girl meets her eyes, her too alien eyes that are beady and red and- Don't apologize.

Kaldur suddenly moves beside her and she flinches as his webbed hand lands on her shoulder. You did nothing wrong, M'gann.

Robin shifts at the end of the bed, and he smiles at her again. We don't mind all that much, we're just glad you're alright.

Wally's arms are around her before she even realizes he's beside her. I don't know what this team would do without you, Megan. M'gann.