Tell me what you guys think. Or whatever. I'm going to post this up on tumblr once I can get a chance. My username is themilkisnogood. Also, it's not proofread yet, but will be tomorrow. The episode I based this chapter off of was "Marceline's Closet". I also plan on writing out genderbent versions of other episodes with Marshall Lee in it. Hang tight, because romance won't come super quickly in this one.
"Take one for a new concept album based on 500 years of my journal entries." Or half my life, whichever way you wanted to put it. "So here's some preliminary notes. I...I wanna make this the most emotional album ever. So private and secret, that I'll never let anyone hear."
That never happens. Everyone's secrets are revealed eventually. Even if I never tell anyone, someone may come upon my journal. If I had an expiration date, I'd be sure to destroy it right before the very end.
"No one can ever hear it. Ever!" Someone could be listening right now. I felt eyes on me, but ignored them. There was a particularly large spider in my closet who might just be feeling curious. "Take one."
I turned on a solid, simple beat and then shifted my bass in my lap, starting to strum along with the rhythm as I struggled to turn my journal entries into song.
Hello Journal, it's me
It's been awhile since we talked,
about my life and stuff.
Let's start with my feelings about my friends.
Oh, wait, I don't have friends.
Man, what a sad little life I had lived. It took me a thousand years to make friends. Even most anti-social people can manage to make one friend in a lifetime. Reading these journal entries almost made me feel a little sick. On the one hand I was happier with friends, but on the other, I remembered just why I had abstained from making any for so long. Who could ever relate to me? Nobody lived as long as I did-nobody would. One day, Fionna, Cake, and even that prissy Gumball would all be gone.
Well, maybe not Gumball. He was crazy with those experiments about immortality. If he really wanted to live forever, he could just offer me that handsome pink face to drink. It would be sweet to have that flamboyant pansy asking for my help. I'd probably just shoot him down and laugh at that disappointed face of his. Or maybe play a prank like I did on Fionna and that fuzzball and make him just think he was a vampire. Only Prince Gumwad would probably be smart enough to realize what I'm up to. Whateve-!
"Oh, what?! What happened?! Ugh!" Floating over to examine the broken lamp, I hissed in annoyance. Oh, well. At least it got my mind off of those idiots. Though I was almost positive now: I was not alone.
I could guess it was Fionna and Cake. It sure smelled like them and only they would be brave enough to hide in my room. I was expecting them anyway for a jam session. One glance at my closet and the muffled noise of a terrified cat and adventurer scrambling for a place to hide sent a smirk creeping along my lips. What fun.
"Where are you?!" I growled with annoyance, knowing how those words would mess with their minds. Floating over to my closet, I opened the doors and kept my eyes straight ahead to give them a bit of space to stay out of my line of vision. I wasn't done messing with them just yet, I decided as I cheerfully twittered, "Mah broom~"
Cleaning up the broken lamp with annoyance and dramatic, irritated sounds to accompany the process, I moved into phase two of my plan. When I moved to return my broom to the closet, I dropped it against the wall with enough force for some dirt to fly up into my face and on my clothes. After a short coughing bout, I floated to my bathroom to wash up.
Oh, Fionna. I don't think that girl knew how much fun it was to mess with her. Making her cheeks turn that beautiful shade of red only humans can turn always made my day. Gum-for-balls had his handsome pink face, but Fionna's blush was rare and bright red and beautiful against her nearly white skin. It almost bothered me. She looked like her red had been half eaten and I almost had OCD about taking the rest for myself.
I never did, of course, but I still tried to bring the blood to her cheeks on every occasion possible.
And with that motive in mind, I started to slowly strip, knowing full well Fionna would attempt to escape the closet during this time and scope out the scene. Well, she could have a wonderful view of my ass then. Modesty fades after 1000 years and I had no shame in it. But Fionna would, and her cheeks would light up every time I would mention it. I'd be sure to see a lot more of that red then. Perfect.
Just as I peeled off my last sock, I saw her body appear in the reflection of my mirror. The odd girl had slithered just the tiniest bit into my bathroom. And yes, I do mean she actually slithered. She laid on the floor and watched me for a few stunned seconds before slowly squirming her way back on her belly to my closet, where Cake was waiting for an update on the situation.
Not wanting to give them too much time to plan their next escape plan, I rinsed off with warm water as quickly as possible. That was a bit of a shame to me, to be honest. If you're not dead, you probably don't understand what it's like to be cold all the damn time. Warmth is an amazing thing, and the only time I can ever feel completely warm is when I shower or bathe. Hot water reaches everywhere and I almost feel alive.
But there wasn't any time for that now. I threw a pair of boxers on and then proceeded to float over to my bed, hoping Fionna was still watching. If she enjoyed a nice view of my wet chest, then I'd have just one more thing to tease her about mercilessly. Maybe even Cake, too, though Lord Monochromicorn would probably visit me and stomp his hoofs around. It's never good to mess with a chick who's in a committed relationship like that.
Fionna, though. Now there was a girl perfect for picking on. With this thought, I turned off the lights and floated on top of my bed as if I was about to get some sleep. There was a creak from a few feet away and I knew that the jig would be up soon. I just didn't count on Fionna's rather odd idea of stealth.
"Is he awake?" Whispering. Right at the finish line. Whispering. And rather loudly, too.
Cake was on the same wavelength as me. "Why are you talking?!"
"I'm wondering if he's awake."
"Well, if he's awake, then he can definitely hear you talking!" Okay, so they're both pretty dumb.
"I'm whispering!"
"Well, now we're both quietly screaming!"
Deciding enough was enough, I sat up and inserted myself into their conversation. "I can hear both of you."
"Disguise yourself, fool!" Fionna whisper-shouted to her companion, and I could only shake my head at them in the darkness.
When I turned on the light, I almost felt sorry for them. Apparently, Cake's idea of a sufficient disguise was shapeshifting herself to look like Fionna. For the record, Fionna wasn't much better. The red lampshade on her head was less than convincing.
"What are you doing in my lair, good little girl? And fluffy friend?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Girl, I think he sees us..." Cake whispered.
Fionna tossed off her lampshade only to angrily shout, "Dude, what the heck?! You shapeshifted to look like me?!" Alright, so I wasn't the only one in the room who realized what a pitiful excuse for a disguise that was.
"Yeah," was Cake's only response before I drew their attention back to me.
"Hey!" Floating closer to the pair, I let out a hiss as I used a scare tactic on them. "Explain yourselves!" Changing my tune quickly, I floated around Fionna's back and placed my hands on her shoulders as I leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Are you so in love with me you want to hide in my closet just to watch me get naked when I shower? Pretty sketch, Fionna~"
The blonde bunny girl shoved my face away and stuck her tongue out with a disgusted noise. "Way gross, dude! Cake and I were just playing hide and seek in your house even though you told us not to. Then you came home and we hid in your closet and we, well...We saw...Everything." Ah, and there it was. Those two beautiful, red splotches on her face appeared at the thought of what 'everything' entailed. "Whatever you do to us, I just want you know that we're sorry."
"So sorry!" Cake added as she leaped into Fionna's arms for a hug, frightened even more than her sister at what I'd do to them.
"Okay. Apology accepted."
"What?" The look of shock was worth passing up the opportunity to mess with them more. I could have had them make up for their trespassing with various weird, mundane tasks for the sheer sake of screwing with them, but there would be plenty of other times.
"I hide in your house all the time." Not completely a lie. The looks they exchanged were priceless after that little announcement. "Anyway, next time you want to get a look at my hot bod, just ask!"
With a roll of her eyes and a small shove, Fionna left with Cake in tow, giving me a cheery goodbye once they were out the door and my flirtatious behavior had been forgiven.
Such a good little girl.
Later that night, I watched Fionna scratch her breasts in her red footy pajamas, containing laughter as I did so. Sometimes I forgot that Fionna was more than just any other pal. She was a chick with pretty okay breasts. They weren't particularly impressive, but she had more than my ex-girlfriend Ashley.
Whoa, Marshall. Seriously comparing one of your best female friends to an ex-girlfriend is not cool. Even if it's just about boobs, it could quickly turn into comparisons about other things. No way was I going to fall into that friend-zone booby trap. Pun possibly intended.
Still, I couldn't resist imitating an owl as she shifted her goodies, letting her know I was quite possibly still watching her-which I was, until I floated up to the roof of her tree fortress home.
Suddenly, I heard a scream come from the window to Fionna's room. I must have managed to really freak her out.
Well, good. She should stay away from me if she knows what's good for her. If she gets too close, I'll just push her away. It's hard enough being friends with mortals. No way am I about to start developing feelings and getting romantically involved with them. Blegh. Gross.
Except now that I've had this idea in my head, I can't stop thinking about it. And the more I think about it, the more I worry one of us is going to develop feelings for the other. Under no circumstances is that allowed.
At least, that's what I thought.