Hello! Welcome to this story. It's been a while since I've written a fic but this one came to me and demanded to get out. This is going to be about 12 chapters and I'm going to try to post at least twice a week since I'll be starting back to school in August and want to have it finished by then.

I did not have a beta reader so any and all mistakes are my own fault.

Disclaimer: Of course, nothing belongs to me, I know no one, etc, etc...

On with the story.

Longing

He remembered. For a few moments when he was waking up, he felt the emptiness as always- then, something different. He recognized the faces immediately. Slowly, he remembered the staff members of the base where T'Challa had agreed to keep him hidden. He remembered Steve being there when he went under and he remembered all the things that had happened before. The running, the fighting, the years spent on his own trying to remember. He remembered his arm getting torn off. Relief flooded him, washing away the emptiness, slowing his heartbeat and breathing.

"Hello, Mr. Barnes," greeted a slender man in a white coat. "I'm Dr. Rodriguez. We met shortly before you went under. Just relax for now. We'd hoped you'd stay out a few minutes more to avoid the discomfort of warming to the room. Captain Rogers told us you were injected with a serum not dissimilar he was but we are unfamiliar with the dosages of anesthetic for someone like yourself." The other staff members moved around Bucky, readying medical equipment.

"I'm used…to it," Bucky told him, his voice breaking from disuse. "And I've felt worse."

Dr. Rodriguez gave him a sympathetic smile and continued. "We are going to take your readings then you'll be able to get up and move." While the other doctors moved around him, Bucky watched Dr. Rodriguez move to the other side of the room to talk to a man in what looked like military uniform. The man nodded, glanced quickly at Bucky, took a note that Dr. Rodriguez handed him, turned, and left. Bucky was suddenly aware that he did not know why he was awake.

When Dr. Rodriguez had returned, he led Bucky out of the room and down a long hallway. Bucky's uneasiness at why he was now awake, and why Steve was nowhere around, grew, but the staff were kind and he didn't feel any immediate threat. Dr. Rodriguez opened another door and motioned for him to enter. Bucky walked into a decent-sized examination room with another door across from him. A table in the corner held a pitcher of water, hot tea, coffee, and a plate of food.

"I've sent word to the King that you are awake. You have a visitor waiting to see you. They are still being cleared by security but will be here in fifteen minutes or so, I imagine. Please help yourself to anything on the table. There is a small restroom through there," he pointed to the other door, "a few amenities have been placed there and you are welcome to use them, also. If you have need of anything else, you can come back the way we came and you will find someone."

Slightly overwhelmed, Bucky managed to thank Dr. Rodriguez who then started to leave. "Dr. Rodriguez?" Bucky asked quickly.

"Yes?"

"Who's here? Is it Captain Rogers?"

"I do not think so. I did not see him on my way in."

"Okay. Thank you."

Dr. Rodriguez nodded to him and left, shutting the door behind him.

He sat on the examination table and waited. His body still held the stiffness it always did when he awoke from cryofreeze. He had a headache and his eyes felt odd in their sockets. He barely registered the old feelings now, having experienced them so often now.

He had started to drink some water, but just before the glass reached his lips something in him made him stop. It was so easy to poison someone's food or drink. It hadn't been his style while he was acting as the Winter Soldier but he'd seen it done plenty of times. He wanted to drink the water so badly but he'd sat the glass back down and waited to see what had warranted his awakening.

From his seat, he stared at that glass of water and felt the dryness in his throat. He wished they hadn't taken him out of cryofreeze. He hadn't wanted to be brought out anytime soon and had held a small hope inside him that he'd be left there forever. He wasn't safe. He hadn't been safe in a long time. Flashes of memory from when he and Steve still lived in Brooklyn, still scattered and incomplete presented themselves to him. The last time he'd felt safety- before the war. He remembered picking up Steve's shield, being hit by a hard blast, hanging off the train, Steve reaching down for him, fear running through him, the piece of metal breaking away, then the fall through the cold and the white- the last time he'd been safe from himself.

The memories rushed through his mind fast and hard making his heart pound. There were memories he'd recognized-written down in journals-new memories that appeared that felt like déjà vu, and they all left him light-headed, a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead.

Bucky closed his eyes, tucking his chin toward his chest, and took long, deep breaths. The memories still came and he picked one to concentrate on. He was moving through snow-covered woods. Twenty yards to his left was Falsworth, and twenty yards to his right was Steve. The rest of the Howling Commandos were spread throughout the forest, each within eyesight of one or two others. A standard tactic they'd used for moving through woodland many times now. They moved carefully hoping to circumvent the nearby enemy camp unseen. A quick movement from Falsworth halted Bucky. He turned his attention to him. Dum Dum had spotted the camp. They needed to move to the north. Bucky turned to relay the message to Steve, who turned to Jim, and so on. This was how they worked- with trust, familiarity, and just enough insanity to be willing to creep around a German camp, through an unfamiliar forest, in the middle of the winter.

When Bucky opened his eyes, he felt a little unhappy that he was still in the examination room. As dangerous as the war had been, he'd known what he was fighting for, who he was fighting beside, and had made his own decisions. The regret he felt for the time he'd spent since then often overshadowed the stability he'd felt, even in a war. During the war, he'd have given anything to be back in Brooklyn, the fighting done. Now, he'd gladly trade all the atrocities he'd committed as the Winter Soldier to go back to simply being Sergeant Barnes.

A quick knock on the door pulled Bucky from his thoughts. He barely had time to turn toward the noise before the door opened. Coming into the room was the same uniformed man he'd seen talking to Dr. Rodriguez, a similarly dressed woman, and Tony Stark.

Thank you for reading! Please review and tell me what you think!