Thank Yous: All the thanks in the world to: lone_lilly who betaed this and listened to me yammer about it for months despite the fact she doesn't even follow GH; robertannafan who betaed and whose amazing YouTube channel fueled my love for this family in the first place; leobrat who encouraged me to try writing this story, gave me many a helpful suggestion, and betaed; and to kennedy123123123 who encouraged me with her excitement over this story and made a gorgeous fanmix to accompany it.
Disclaimer: General Hospital belongs to ABC and the show's creators. I'm not making any profit and no copyright infringement is intended.
In the Before
She is fault lines. They do not run through her; they compose her entire.
There are nights when - just home from the precinct where the steady chaos of crime and her attempts to impose order distract her enough to get through the day without screaming - she comes home and lies down, presses her face into her pillow, and thinks Robert had the right idea on that bridge. There are nights when, despite her disgust at his fragility - so raw and exposed when she has worked diligently to tuck hers safely away - in her mind she is right there with him on the edge and ready to jump.
But then there is a gasping breath and she pulls the covers more tightly around her to keep the pain held firmly in her chest. She fears the havoc it will create should it escape. She thinks then of Emma, who wears her own damage but has perhaps seen her way through it better than any of the adults in her life, and she tells herself that giving that little girl a broken grandmother is better than nothing at all.
Patrick will tell Emma stories of Robin, of course, as Emma grows and childhood memories begin to fade with nothing living and new to replace them. But there are things only Anna knows. Only she can attend Emma's dance recitals and tell her after what it felt like to watch Robin do The Dance of Sugar Plum Fairy for the very first time, how Robin loved to perform just as Emma does now.
Right now those moments break Anna just as much as they mend her but she stays, she lives them.
It would be easier, maybe, to do what Robert has. It would be easier to find some purpose that would take her far away from Robin's ghost, a tangible thing that flits around the corners of her every day here. But Anna's rarely taken the easy path, rarely run from something she could barrel into head-on. So, she stays, makes the home in Port Charles she didn't make when Robin was alive. With Robin gone, it's the only way she knows to still be her mother.
In the After
Chapter 1
Yesterday Anna would have said there was only one before and after. One event that divided her life, not neatly but so completely that the woman who lived in the before felt lost to her entirely. There was before Robin died and after. Those were the distinctions that mattered, defined her life these past several months.
Now there is a new before and after. Before and after she knew.
Robin is alive.
Robert's words resound in her head. "Find her. You've got to find her." They're followed by Duke's. "He said one of the memories I'd given him was false and someone had picked up on it. I thought he was talking about you but, no, he was talking about somebody else."
Robin. No one else fits - someone who knew Duke well enough to pick up on Faison's lies, someone who could put that edge of desperation in Robert's voice.
Anna has allowed herself to believe it before and then felt reality come crashing down on her when leads and hope were proven false. But this time, despite the vagueness of Robert's words, she knows it to be true. She feels some tug in her chest, some instinct in the part of her that has always tied her to Robin. Even when Anna's own memory was gone, she knew there was someone who mattered more than herself, more than anyone or anything.
Robin pulls at her that same way now, lost to her but not forever.
Anna feels some of the strings that have been holding her together these past few months begin to unfurl but at the same time she feels a renewed strength from a source she thought lost to her forever. There is what she can do and there is what she can do for Robin. Her girl is alive and that changes everything.
Robin's father lies in the bed beside where Anna now sits. The only noise in the room is the beeping of monitors and the steady rhythm of his breath regulated by machines. These things should be familiar to her by now. She's seen Robert in this position far too many times. Still, her insides tighten and tears threaten to spill. She won't allow it though, not now. She raises a hand to his forehead and ruffles his hair affectionately instead.
"I want you to know I heard you. And oh how I hope I'm right about what you meant." She leans down then and places a soft kiss on his temple, whispers her promise in his ear. "I won't stop. I won't stop until I find our girl."
She doesn't have the time or the desire for more goodbyes. Her entire body is thrumming with nervous energy and the need to do something with this new information, this hope that runs through her at full speed.
If she makes an excuse about getting some rest and something to eat, she'll have a few hours before the others realize she's gone. Duke and John, if they knew where she was headed, would try to come with her. She can't allow that.
In any other circumstances she would not leave Robert's side. But this is their daughter and, though he lays unconscious before her, Anna can feel Robert pushing her out the door.
"God how I wish you could come with me, though," she says, turning for one last look at Robert before she opens the door to his room and steps out into the hallway. And, though he's obviously not spoken - his eyes are still closed and his body still - she swears she can hear "Good luck, kid," in a familiar Australian accent as the door clicks shut behind her.
Chapter 2
Dr. Obrecht obviously didn't expect Anna to make the connections and come looking for her. All it takes is finding one clinic employee who knows Obrecht's cell phone number and then a simple hack of the cell company's database and a few radio towers to track the phone. Anna appreciates cocky adversaries. It makes them sloppy and makes her life easier.
When she arrives, Anna is pleased to see a good distance between Obrecht's residence and the other homes on the street. She doesn't want anyone close enough to see or hear trouble and alert local law enforcement before she's gotten the answers she needs.
Anna kicks in her door with her gun already drawn. She doesn't bother to knock or announce herself first. She shed Commissioner Devane the minute she realized Robert was trying to tell her Robin was still alive. This is not the time for rules and regulations.
The door opens onto a combined living room and dining room. Obrecht stands in the center of the room. An open suitcase sits on the dining room table next to her, contents half spilling out. Alerted by the sound of the door slamming open, she whirls to face Anna. Anna catches a glimpse of shock before Obrecht schools her face into her usual impassive mask.
"You're not going anywhere," Anna commands. When Obrecht takes a step forward, Anna cocks her gun and aims it directly at Obrecht's temple. Anna's hands are steady but it's a fight to keep her finger from pulling against the trigger now she knows the woman before her has stood between her and her daughter all this time.
Anna remembers her first trip to the clinic, the girl who looked just enough like Robin, realizes it must have all been intentional. It was meant to wear her down, to break her, to make her all the more susceptible to Faison's games. And this woman was a willing participant.
"Sit down," Anna orders, gesturing to the kitchen chair. "And do not think I will hesitate to kill you if you fail to comply."
There's an edge in Anna's voice that encourages Obrecht to do as she's told. The other woman sits down, eyes never leaving Anna's gun.
"Don't move," Anna orders as she keeps the gun trained with one hand and fishes handcuffs out of her pocket with the other. Carefully she makes her way over to the other woman and cuffs her hands behind her, sliding the cuffs through the rungs of the chair making it impossible for Obrecht to extricate herself. Once done, Anna backs away but only a step. She uses her height and Obrecht's inability to move to her advantage, towering over the other woman and leaning into her personal space.
"Where is my daughter?" Anna demands.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Obrecht's voice is level, as if Anna has asked her something unimportant like the time or directions to the corner shop. Obrecht keeps her eyes on the far wall, refusing to look at Anna. Anna reads it as a gesture of insolence, not fear. The fact that Obrecht is unsurprised to be asked about Robin gives Anna all the confirmation she needs. And if Obrecht needs to fear Anna in order to give her the information she needs, Anna is prepared to make that happen.
Anna slams the hand holding her gun into Obrecht's head. It's careful, calculated, inflicting the most damage, the most pain without knocking her unconscious.
"Where," she repeats, "is my daughter?"
Obrecht is silent. She turns her head now and gazes at Anna levelly, blood trickling down the side of her face from the wound Anna has left on her temple.
"If you think this is the worst I'm prepared to do to you, you've never pissed off someone's mother before," Anna adds, her voice low, rough, and full of the promise of pain. She raises her hand, ready to strike again.
"I will not betray him," is Obrecht's only response.
"Who?" Anna demands. "Faison? He's a lunatic. Your loyalty is misplaced." Anna brings the hand with the gun in it down again, once again slamming into Obrecht's temple.
The woman shudders as if to shake off the blow but otherwise keeps a calm that infuriates Anna.
"Cesar is a genius. You are a fool not to recognize it. His only flaw is his feelings for you. You have caused him much grief. I will not do the same." Obrecht keeps her head high in defiance. Her eyes hold a challenge.
For the first time since Switzerland, maybe for the first time since Robin died, the dizzying chaos in Anna's mind is replaced with stark clarity and purpose. She can hear the blood pounding in her ears as she cocks her gun. She aims first at Obrecht's chest. All Anna has to do is curl a finger to deliver a bullet straight to the good doctor's heart.
It would be... satisfying.
Instead Anna forces herself to take a deep breath to steady herself. Something like euphoria threatens to take over and she can't afford it now with so much at stake.
"You won't kill me," Obrecht offers smugly.
"You're right," Anna intones as she aims at Obrecht's leg and fires.
Obrecht screams, finally, as she looks down at her right leg, blood pouring out of the bullet wound there. When she looks up at Anna - hatred and disbelief clear even through the pain that is evident on her face - Anna simply smiles.
"I won't kill you... at least not right now. I'm not a doctor but I do know gunshots..." Anna pauses waving her gun in the direction of Obrecht's leg where the light tan of her pants is quickly turning crimson as blood seeps out of the bullet wound. "...can be tricky. You never know when you might hit an artery and a person might just bleed out."
"I will bleed out if you do not allow me to put pressure on this wound," Obrecht protests as she struggles against her cuffs.
"You should probably start talking then," Anna offers in return, making no move to release the doctor from the cuffs or to stop the flow of blood herself.
Anna recognizes genuine fear in Obrecht's eyes for the first time. And maybe she's imagining it, but she thinks there's also a hint of respect. It's ridiculous, really, that this is what it took but Anna lets the other woman's fear feed her.
"You can't do this to me. I need immediate medical attention." Obrecht doesn't plead but there is an edge of desperation in her words.
"I could not care less what you need. You kept my daughter locked up and away from her family for nearly a year and you want me to show you sympathy? Now, let's try this again. Where's Robin? If you continue to screw with me, I shoot the other leg and then..." Anna aims the gun at Obrecht's stomach, then her temple, shoulder. "I don't know. Depends on my mood. I'll get creative."
"I don't know."
Anna aims her gun at the leg she hasn't yet wounded.
"Cesar got word to me that he'd like the girl turned over to an associate of his." The words tumble out of Obrecht's mouth in a rush.
"Name," Anna commands.
"All this trouble for you," Obrecht spits out. "You and your obnoxious little brat. She's the one who ruined it you know. He planned to bring her home to you. He was prepared to live his life as someone else if it meant the three of you could be some pathetic little family. If she hadn't figured out he wasn't Lavery, the three of you could be together right now. You should be so lucky."
"Unlike you, Robin is too smart to fall for Faison's lies." Despite current circumstances, Anna feels a warm rush of pride in her chest. Duke was right. It was Robin who caught on to Faison's lies first.
"You weren't that smart," Obrecht taunts.
"No, she's stronger than me. Always has been," Anna agrees. And she knows her words to be true. Anna may be quicker to fight, might appear tougher to the outside world than her daughter but Robin has always had an inner strength that Anna admired. Anna's a fighter yes, but her daughter is fierce.
Obrecht makes a dismissive noise. "She was certain you'd save her. Children should be raised to rely on no one but themselves. That was your mistake. So much faith in you and her precious father. In the end you did her no good. She tried very hard to fight me. If she weren't so obnoxious, I might have been impressed by her stubborn bravery but, in the end, it was just as useless and foolish as her faith in you."
Anna's gun has remained trained on Obrecht's uninjured leg. Guilt washes through her, Robin's faith in her and her inability to live up to it, followed by pride at the way she knows Robin must have fought, at the way she saw through Faison's lies. Her daughter is strong. Anna will be strong for her. She aims for the foot this time - maybe this is mercy, at least it is as close as she will get to the concept tonight - and pulls the trigger again, allows the sound of Obrecht screaming in pain to clear the doubts from her mind.
"Give me the name," she commands once more. "I won't bother asking again."
"Jerry Jacks," Obrecht finally offers weakly.
Anna steps forward and around the chair and unlocks the handcuffs that have been keeping the other woman bound and then makes her way to the bathroom. She needn't worry about leaving the gun trained on Obrecht anymore. The doctor won't be walking anywhere anytime soon, at least not quickly enough for it to be a problem. Anna finds a closet filled with towels and pulls a few out. She tosses them at Obrecht on the way out the door.
"You're a doctor. I'm sure you know what to do," are Anna's final words before she slams the door to Obrecht's apartment shut behind her.
Chapter 3
Jerry Jacks. Anna knows little about him except he's shot Robin once before and has been presumed dead for several years. That will change now. She will learn everything there is to know and she will hunt him down.
Anna runs the water in the sink of the hotel bathroom until it's ice cold. The water runs pink for a while - Obrecht's blood washing off Anna's hands - then clear. Anna holds her hands under the stream from the faucet until they begin to numb, then splashes the water on her face. Slowly she comes back to herself. In the small corner of her mind that is not whirling with thoughts of finding Robin, she notes her lack of remorse at what she's done to Obrecht, catalogs it to be dealt with once her mission is complete.
She will bring her daughter home.
The WSB will have a file on Jacks. She'll start there. This isn't an official mission but she knows enough people who owe her favors and won't ask questions. She heads out of the bathroom and into the single room of her hotel suite. She sits down on the bed and pulls her laptop out of the nightstand drawer.
There's a rap on the door just as she connects to the WSB server. Anna draws her gun in response. She hasn't ordered room service and, given her current situation, any other visitors are likely to be bad news.
She can hardly believe her eyes when she peers through the peephole.
She swings the door open wide. The gun is still in her hand but lowered. It's unnecessary unless she decides to inflict a little pain to punish him for having the poor judgment to leave the hospital and show up at her door.
"Hello, luv," he greets her.
She's still staring, trying to process her recently comatose ex-husband standing at her door very much conscious when he interrupts her attempt to gather her thoughts.
"It may appear that I'm leaning against this doorjamb in an attempt to look roguishly sexy and in part I am but, honestly, I can barely stand up so if you could..."
"Oh, you idiot," she exclaims as she pulls him into a hug. He sags into her, indicating his statement about being unable to stand wasn't too far from the truth. Pushing the worry this sparks in her to the back of her mind, Anna takes a second to delight in the steady sound of his breathing and the feel of him - warm and alive - in her arms. She runs a hand up and down his back and he pulls her tighter against him. Everything that has been coiled so tightly inside her relaxes just slightly.
Robert is heavy against her, like he's standing less on his own power and more on hers. She shifts so he's got one arm wrapped around her shoulder and allows him to lean on her as she leads him to the couch. Once she gets him there, he allows himself to collapse on the couch in a move that seems ninety percent actual need to lie down and ten percent dramatic flourish.
There's little point in asking how he got out of the hospital or how he located her. He is here now. She eyes him critically. He looks worn out. His skin has a greyish cast and his eyes are underlined by dark patches. He should be in the hospital. He's impossible and he's only going to slow her down but damnit it's good to see him.
"Roguishly handsome is not the descriptor I would use," is all she says while gesturing to his body now limply crumpled on the couch.
"You'd wound me, Devane. If I didn't know you were simply trying to downplay the animal attraction you're feeling towards me as I lie here sprawled sexily on the couch for your taking, I would be genuinely insulted."
She lets out a loud, exaggerated sigh as she turns her back on him - better he not see her smile - and then crosses the room to the mini-fridge and pulls out two bottles of water. She returns to the couch and hands him one of the bottles. She lifts his legs just enough that she can settle onto the couch underneath them and then lets his feet fall into her lap.
The sight of him looking back at her, his tired eyes nonetheless warm and understanding, and the familiar pattern of their banter bring the weight of the past few days crashing back into her but then, somehow, his presence eases that weight just as quickly.
There's something she needs to hear from him before she can think of anything else.
"You saw her?" she asks. "Robin?" She cannot keep out the fear that creeps into her voice - fear she's wrong, fear she's right. She doesn't know.
"I saw her." Any trace of humor is gone from them both now. Robert's face is all hard lines as he looks back at her.
"How did... Was she...?" Anna's tongue is heavy, unable to get the words out to complete her questions.
"She was fighting. You know our girl. She looked scared but she was alive and well and she was fighting. She's going to fight until we get to her, Anna."
She still doesn't trust her voice, doesn't trust anything really. Instead of speaking she raises her eyes to Robert's, doesn't bother to wipe at her tears or attempt to hide the rage she knows is written plain on every line of her face. His eyes tell her he's seen something in hers. He knows something of the lines she crossed, is prepared to cross. He won't ask any questions and he's prepared for them as well.
"So, tell me where we are," is all he says. His legs are still on her lap and she moves one arm from its position on the back of the couch and rests her hand on his calf - a physical anchor.
"Okay, here's what we know," she begins.
Chapter 4
John doesn't sound surprised when Anna fills him in over the phone the next morning. Anna can't be certain if it's his usual stoic demeanor at work or if he's simply decided he won't let anything she's involved in surprise him after witnessing the events in Faison's hotel room a few days ago. It's not everyday you see your boss's ex-husband reveal an internationally known criminal by throwing a boiling fondue pot at the man who is supposedly your boss's other ex-husband but you wouldn't have known that from looking at John.
Anna, however, is getting a headache just thinking about it so she returns her attention to the conversation at hand.
"Are you sure you don't need any additional backup, boss? I like Scorpio but, hell, he can't be in great shape right now. I was there when the doctors realized he'd taken off. They said they'd have kept him another week at the least."
Anna sighs, paces the floor of the hotel room while listening to the sounds of Robert going through his morning routine in the bathroom. Every shuffle of feet or running of the faucet is a relief, reassuring her that he hasn't passed out cold on the floor.
"I appreciate the offer, John, but I have no authority here. This is strictly off the books."
"I realize that. I'm still offering."
"You're a good friend," Anna says and she smiles into the phone even though he can't see her. "But Robert and I will manage. We've coped under worse circumstances before and this is our daughter."
"Okay, but if you change your mind."
"You'll be the first person I call," she assures him.
Robert emerges from the bathroom just as Anna hangs up. He is pale, as though the act of showering and brushing his teeth has taken every ounce of energy he had. Still, he looks at her expectantly, waiting for information, ready to work.
"That was McBain. While we're working the local angle, he's going to check out activity in Port Charles around the time of Robin's disappearance, see if there's any evidence of Faison. It's a long shot as far as any connection to where Robin is now so I'd rather you and I stay focused here but I want someone looking into it. John is loyal and discreet and he already knew most of the story so he seemed the most logical choice."
Robert nods in agreement. He's settled on the sofa, pushing aside the blanket and pillows Anna slept with there last night after she'd insisted that he take the bed. Despite his agreement about McBain, Anna feels the need to justify something to him.
"I thought about calling Mac..." she begins. What she wants to say is that Mac is just as much a parent to Robin as they are, that he deserves to know. But, while she wouldn't give up the knowledge that Robin is alive for anything, even with the hope that knowledge brings, this uncertainty she and Robert are living in now is its own kind of hell. If they can spare Mac that and bring Robin home to him alive and well, Anna wants to do that.
Robert doesn't give her a chance to say any of that.
"McBain's a good cop," Robert replies, cutting her off. His tone says the subject of Mac is closed, that he understands her reasoning and supports her.
"Yeah, and John was a good friend..." Anna doesn't finish her sentence. All her choices seem wrong - 'he was a good friend after Robin died' - or too harsh - 'he was a good friend when you were gone.' She lets the silence hang between them and it feels like enough of an accusation on its own. Now that the initial relief of knowing Robin is alive has settled, there are so many unresolved issues lurking in this hotel room. Anna doesn't want to think about them.
"You were supposed to stay in the hospital another week," she finally says, narrowing her eyes at him.
"You're glad I'm here," he counters.
"Looking like you could drop dead at any moment," she rebuts.
"She doesn't deny it," he observes in that annoyingly cocky tone of his. He knows he's right. She's glad he's here at the same time she's ready to throttle him for it. She'd be disconcerted by the apparent contradiction if it weren't such a familiar feeling when it came to Robert's place in her life.
"Let's just get to work then, shall we?" she asks, refusing to give him the satisfaction of responding to his needling.
"As you wish, Commissioner."
Both of their laptops are sitting atop the lone dresser in the room. Anna grabs them and sits down at the opposite end of the couch from Robert, tossing the pillows and blanket on the floor and then handing him his laptop once she's settled.
"Do you think we should tell Patrick?" she asks, finally voicing the concern that's been running through her mind since she learned Robin was alive and that has been reawakened by her decision not to call Mac.
"You know Pattycakes better than I do, Anna."
"I know he hates when you call him Pattycakes for one."
"See? There you go, proving my point."
"I think we should wait," Anna says. She leaves the reason unspoken but suspects Robert reads it in her voice. They will find Robin, no matter how long it takes. But she doesn't want to break Patrick's heart all over again if they find her too late.
Anna's unable to repress the shudder that comes over her. Robert responds with a hand on her knee and a light squeeze before he returns to typing on his laptop.
After, they sit silently save for the clicking of keyboards and the occasional ding of an incoming message. It's nearly an hour before Anna sees something that causes her to shove Robert's computer off his lap and replace it with her own.
"Hey," he protests. "I was looking at that."
Anna simply jabs her finger at her screen in response, directing Robert's attention to records that indicate one of Faison's known aliases has been renting an apartment not more than forty minutes from where they are now for the past year.
Chapter 5
"I'm here," Anna whispers to Robert on the other end of the phone. "Call you back when I'm through."
She hits the end call button, likely cutting off a "be careful" from Robert, and pushes the front door to the building open. There is no doorman, no security. The building is rundown, not at all what she'd expect from Faison. He was trying to keep a low profile, she assumes. Or this is a trap. She dared not utter that thought to Robert on the phone. He'd have shouted through the line, insisted she turn around and come back. Or worse he'd have tried to chase after her despite his weakened condition.
He'd only stopped protesting about her checking out the place alone after she'd reassured him repeatedly this was reconnaissance only. Faison was in prison, after all, and there was little likelihood any of his associates would be dim enough to be using an apartment so easily traced to him so soon after his arrest. Robert had made Anna promise to turn back the minute there was any evidence to the contrary. She'd agreed and he'd known she was lying but their current truce is tenuous enough that he'd apparently decided not to push.
The stairway is dark and narrow. A tenant rushes past her, brushing against her as he goes. He reeks of alcohol and body odor and Anna holds her breath for as long as she can, keeps her head down so he won't get a good look at her though this doesn't really seem like the type of place where people take note of suspicious activity anyway.
While he'd have appreciated the anonymity, Faison, with his fondness for posh surroundings, must have hated it here. The thought makes Anna wonder what she'll find behind the door she's now standing in front of. The door does not budge when she tests the knob so, after looking both directions to check that the hallway is still empty, she pulls a lock picking kit out of her back pocket.
She gets the door unlocked in short order and once she draws and raises her gun she pushes the door open. She expects the place to be empty but she's not taking any chances. Keeping her gun up, she stands back in the hallway as the door swings. Even if there isn't someone inside, there's always the possibility Faison has set some sort of booby trap.
When several seconds pass without incident and Anna's looked carefully for any trip wires or the like, she steps inside and sees... nothing. Well, nearly. The room is spartan. The walls are off-white, devoid of any art or photographs. The only sound is the refrigerator humming noisily. It's a tiny studio apartment. The refrigerator stands to her left next to a small stove, counter, and sink. There's an open door in the corner next to the counter that she can see leads to a small bathroom.
Keeping her gun trained in front of her she checks the bathroom, the one small closet, and under the bed. Satisfied that there is no one here and that there are no obvious traps, she puts the gun back in her holster and begins an examination of the room.
The refrigerator is empty. The drawers and cabinets hold a few utensils and dishes but nothing else. Anna checks them carefully for hidden compartments and false bottoms, her fingers trailing the rough industrial bricks of the walls and the aging wood of the cabinets. When she comes to the closet, she finds it holds one suit jacket. Finding the pockets empty, Anna rips at the seams of the jacket just to be certain. She has to repress a shudder at the scent of familiar cologne.
Something about this whole apartment is off but she dare not stop. Her heart races continuously. Each space she examines might be the one to reveal a clue.
The bed is a flimsy thing, a twin on a thin metal frame. When she flips it over to examine the underside she does it with a little more force than necessary. The room is so small that the bed and mattress rock back and forth for a few seconds then thud against the far wall at an incline.
Out of the corner of her eye, Anna catches a glint of something metallic falling from the underside of the mattress and hitting the floor before she fully processes what she's seeing. When she does take it in, her heart speeds up even further. She kneels down, forces herself to examine the necklace carefully before jumping to conclusions though she recognizes it immediately. She sent it to Robin on Emma's first birthday, a delicate silver circle with Emma and Robin's birthstones inside.
Anna has catalogued every single thing Robin was wearing and every move Robin made that day countless times. There was no reason for it when she believed Robin to be dead. It was a byproduct of Anna's investigative training combined with moments her brain could not stop replaying. She calls up the image now - Robin's obvious exhaustion and worry contrasted by the brightness of her smile as she pulled Emma onto her lap.
Blue scrubs. Grey shirt underneath. Bracelet, simple black leather cords intertwined. A smile, brighter even than her usual, that Robin saved just for Emma. A bright laugh Anna's gone without hearing ever since. Anna traces the silver circle with the tip of a finger. She doesn't remember seeing the necklace that day but that doesn't mean Robin didn't have it tucked under her shirt. She must have.
Anna remains kneeling on the floor for several seconds, necklace dangling from her hand, mind racing. How long was Robin here? What does it mean that she's been moved? How cold is the trail now?
When she's once again able to push herself into movement, she carefully winds the chain and then places the necklaces in the pocket of her jeans.
The only thing she hasn't searched is the nightstand. She sends up a prayer to a God she's no longer sure she believes in. Please let there be something more. Please give me a direction.There is nothing atop the nightstand but a lamp. Turning it over and unscrewing the light bulb reveals nothing.
When she opens the lone drawer on the nightstand she finds one framed photo. Faison has his arm around Anna and Robin stands in front of them. Anna remembers the night not long after their phony engagement. Faison had insisted on taking her and Robin out to dinner, smiled charmingly at the waiter when he asked him to take this photo. "A shot of our family," he'd said. Twenty years separate her from that moment but Anna shudders at the memory now just as she'd shuddered at the feel of his hand resting on her shoulder the night the picture was taken.
Faison and Robin's smiles look genuine, though Robin's smile doesn't reach her eyes the way it does in pictures taken with Robert or with Duke. But the Anna in the photo is tense, her body all straight lines, trying to resist the urge to pull away from Faison's arm around her shoulders, and her smile is forced.
The frame is heavy in her hands. She turns it over and removes the backing. It takes longer than it should. Her hands are shaking.
There's an envelope inside. She recognizes Faison's handwriting. The words "My Darling Anna" are scrawled in bold script on the cream colored envelope.
She tears into it, hands still shaking. The notecard inside bears more of his familiar scrawl.
Dearest, If you are here, it means I am either dead or imprisoned. Know I love you no matter what keeps us apart and no matter what you have done. But, if I cannot have my family - and that's all I've ever wanted, my darling Anna, us to be a family once again - then you cannot have yours. You will not find Robin without me. I have made certain of that. I assume you've found the trinket I left you. Consider it a final memento of your time with your daughter. My sympathies, my love, but you've brought this on yourself. Love Always, Cesar
Anna hurls the framed photograph across the room. It skitters across the floor and comes to a stop when it hits the bottom of the stove. She crumples the note in her hand and stumbles out of the room as she fights a wave of nausea.
Chapter 6
Robert is propped up amidst a sea of pillows on the bed when she returns, his gaze intent on the laptop sitting in front of him. He looks up hopefully when she barges in the door and the hope disappears quickly the moment he sees her face.
"Not so good I take it," is all he says. Anna allows the door to slam shut behind her and tosses the crumpled note from Faison in Robert's direction. She falls onto the empty spot next to him, raises her hand to rub at her tired eyes as he scans the note.
"We're getting nowhere," Anna announces, standing up from her spot on the bed just as quickly as she flopped down a few moments ago and pacing the floor at the foot of the bed instead.
"Bloody hell," is all Robert mutters as he finishes the note and stands up from his own spot on the bed to stretch. He looks exhausted. He has ever since he arrived and, if possible, he looks paler now than he did when she left a few hours ago. The thought makes Anna want to punch something.
She chooses the lamp that stands next to the sofa. The sweep of her hand sends it flying into the wall next to where Robert is standing. He flinches away as the light bulb shatters on impact and there's an accompanying spark. The act does not in the least bit satisfy the frustration and rage that are building within her.
"I'm out there all day and I can't find a damn thing except Faison's worthless note and you..." she trails off, gestures at him as he stands before her now, looking like he could pass out at any moment.
"What about me?" His voice rises as he asks the question and then his eyes narrow as he regards her while waiting for her answer.
"Well look at you," Anna spits out. "You can barely stand up for more than ten minutes at a time."
"Oh, is that it? You think I'm the thing holding us back? If it weren't for me we wouldn't even know our daughter was alive. Still, maybe you'd rather your buddy Spencer be here to keep you company? Or your ex-hubby maybe? Lord knows he's always been so helpful in a crisis situation, has..."
"You do not get to do that," she throws back at him before he's even had a chance to finish his sentence.
"Hey, listen, I..." Robert holds up his hands as if in surrender, as if he knows he's pushed her too far. But her nerves are already raw and she cannot ignore the accusation in the way he said Luke's name just now.
"No. Do you know who sat beside me at our daughter's funeral? Who sat with me as I got wasted after our daughter's funeral? Who was there every single day as I grieved?" She allows the questions to hang in the air for a moment. Robert's face tells her he knows what's coming.
"Luke." Anna says the name as if it tastes bitter, not because of any anger at Luke but because of the man standing in front of her now. "And..." she pauses now, lifts both hands and pushes Robert's shoulders roughly. "It should have been..." another shove "you." and another. This one is hard enough to send him stumbling back a few steps until he catches his footing.
Robert doesn't respond verbally. His face is etched with pain and remorse and Anna wonders how she can see so many of her own emotions mirrored in him and still feel this disconnect, a heavy weight between them seemingly pushing them in opposite directions. It's been there since Robin died - since they thought Robin died she reminds herself - or at least since that day before the funeral when she watched him walk out the door of Robin's house leaving her alone in her grief. Their recent renewed sense of purpose may have allowed them to gloss over it for a time but here it is again, thick and insistent in the air between them.
"Now, if you'll excuse me," she says, "this is a small room and I'm too tired to storm out and find somewhere else to sleep so I'm going to retire to the couch and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the night."
The maid has obviously been in and picked up the bedding Anna had laid out on the couch so Anna grabs a pillow from the bed and yanks the comforter off, hurling them in the direction of the couch before whirling to face Robert one last time. He stands in the same spot, his face now an unreadable mask, lips clamped together in a tight line as he regards her.
"And I would like to remind you that the only reason I'm letting you have the bed is because you almost died last week." With that she turns and stomps toward the couch. The last thing she hears as she lies down is Robert walking away and slamming the bathroom door shut behind him.
In the dark Anna fumbles in the pocket of her jeans until she feels the thin chain of Robin's necklace against her fingers. It takes a few tries but she fastens the clasp around her own neck before she pulls the blanket up around her and tries to will herself to sleep.
The next morning Anna wakes up with a dull throbbing behind her eyes. It's something she's grown used to, waking up more mornings than not these days with a pounding head. She raises both hands, lightly massaging her temples in a futile attempt to ease the ache before opening her eyes.
When she does open her eyes she finds Robert, wide awake, sitting in a chair directly across from the couch and staring in her direction. She's certain the chair wasn't there when she went to sleep last night, which means he rearranged the furniture as she slept just to have a chance to irritate her first thing in the morning.
She's beginning to think her head had the right idea. This pain was some kind of subconscious awareness that she'd wake up to find her ex-husband staring her down.
"Have you really not got anything better to do?" Anna mutters sleepily, pulling herself up to a seated position on the couch and rearranging the comforter around her to block both Robert's gaze and the chill of the room.
He tilts his head as he regards her and offers her a wary smile, one she knows well. This will be an attempt to make amends then. She relaxes just slightly but doesn't bite back the comment that springs from her lips.
"I have to tell you, waking up with your eyes boring a hole into my skull is more than a little creepy."
"I've always liked you when you're asleep. You can't yell or throw things at me," he returns.
She laughs. He'll be able to tell it's unnatural, a little forced. But she hopes he accepts it as an offering nonetheless.
"I do not throw things at you."
"Just last night? That lamp?" he prods, gesturing to the broken lamp now leaning against the wall.
"I threw the lamp. I did not throw it at you. It is not my fault it happened to fly in your general direction." Sensing they're in for a long conversation, Anna tosses off her blanket and heads to the mini-fridge where she finds two bottles of orange juice. As usual, his eyes follow her - in a way she can sense, feel skittering across her skin, even with her back to him - as she crosses the room.
"What you're telling me is you have lousy aim," he needles.
"What I'm telling you is I haven't thrown anything at you yet..."
"This week," he interrupts before she can complete her sentence.
"...but that could change pretty quickly," she finishes. She raises a hand holding one of the bottles of orange juice and tosses it at him - more gently than she would in similar circumstances if he were healthy - and he catches it easily.
The banter is comfortable, briefly eases the sting of last night's argument, but the reprieve doesn't last forever.
"You were right last night," he begins, all trace of humor gone from his voice.
"As much as enjoy the all too rare sound of the words 'you were right' emerging from your mouth, Robert, we don't have to do this right now."
"I think we do. Because this thing is sucking up all the air in this little hotel room of ours."
Anna sighs and offers a small nod in consent, encouraging Robert to continue.
"I should have been there to support you. You don't know how much I hate myself for failing you and failing Robin that way. But, I... I just couldn't see my way through then." He doesn't do this often, admit weakness. But he's always been honest, willing to bend for her in a way he isn't willing to do for many others, even if it takes him some time to get there.
"Would you really have jumped?" She hates how small her voice sounds when she asks so she takes a breath and starts again, tone calm and matter of fact despite the way her heart pounds at even the thought. "If Luke hadn't shown up. If he hadn't lied to you about Ethan, would you have jumped?"
Robert puts his head in his hands, leaves it there a minute before looking up at her again. "I'm not proud of it but, yes, I think I might have."
Suddenly the blanket she has wrapped around her isn't enough to keep out the cold. Anna shivers and pulls the blanket more tightly around her shoulders. She keeps her gaze trained on her lap, unwilling to show Robert the raw fear and pain that must surely be evident in her eyes.
"On some level, you know, I understand. I really do..." She doesn't have the words to tell him how she spiraled in the months that he was gone, circling further and further out from herself, from the core of what once made her strong.
She's always prided herself on her strength and independence. But recently she's felt most of her days have been spent scrambling, clawing for anything that felt remotely like steady ground.
What she's realized, what maybe she's always known but these recent months have simply driven home, is how much of that strength relied on Robin and Robert, this little family of theirs. In the past, even when they weren't together, as long as she knew the two of them were somewhere out there in the world, that bond was a tangible thing that curled around her and kept her grounded and connected. She has been at her worst in the times when they were lost to her.
Anna's mind does not stray from Robin but it turns to another daughter lost. She feels herself grasping at some thread that ties it all together, that forms the stitches along her fault lines, strains to hold her together.
"It was Robin, you know, who put me back together after Leora died." Anna's hands wander to her neck, tracing the chain and then the circle of Robin's pendant as she speaks. "I don't know where I might have ended up if not for her. I was so broken and, David, he just couldn't... we couldn't keep it together. I showed up at Robin's door in Paris and she took care of me. She comforted me. It's not fair that she had to do that for me when I should have been the one taking care of her. But she did it so gracefully, like it was the most natural thing in the world. She lost her mother and her father. She lost her first love. She suffered through so much. I know she had people there to support her. I thank God every single day for that. But she should have had us. She should have had her parents. And right now I just feel like I'm letting her down all over again. And it's not fair, you know, because she's never let me down - not once."
"David should have been there for you when Leora died. Hell, I should have been there for you and for Robin. And I certainly should have been there when we thought Robin died. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for letting you go these past months alone, luv."
"Robert, don't do that. I didn't bring this up to make you feel more guilty. I'm trying to say, I understand. I needed Robin then. I understand why you needed to grab onto the idea of Ethan. I even understand how you ended up on that bridge."
"So you get to sit here and beat yourself up for supposedly letting our daughter down - which by the way, I don't think is accurate - and I can't join the pity party?"
Anna laughs, a sound not full of joy but concession, that the two of them have ended up here broken but still bound to one another.
"She's the best of us. I've always known that. But I didn't fully realize until she was gone all the ways she held us together."
"We'll find her," he says and there is certainty in his tone. "We'll get it all back."
"I'm still so mad at you," Anna says, raising a balled fist to her eyes as if to stop the stream of tears she can feel threatening to spill. Her eyes land on Robert who looks as emotionally exhausted as she feels. "Oh, look at us. Aren't we a fine pair?"
"I suppose we've both made a lot of mistakes," he offers.
"Yeah. And you know what? We can feel guilty for them and maybe, if we're lucky, make up for some small percentage of them but we're going to stop this nonsense right now and worry about that after we've found our daughter."
"Pity party over?"
"Pity party over," she agrees, leaning forward and offering him her hand, which he shakes in agreement.
"Shame, though. I was just about to bust out the party hats."
"I knew something was missing. You do not throw a party like you used to, Scorpio."
He grins at that, his eyes crinkling just slightly at the edges and something about it causes Anna flashback to another time and place. She sees Robin - six years old, bouncing curls and a frilly dress - sitting in Robert's lap. Anna had always loved Robert but she fell more in love with him than she ever thought possible in the first few days seeing him with their daughter.
"Friends?" Robert asks, his voice pulling her back to the present.
"I suppose," Anna concedes.
Chapter 7
A few hours and some shared room service later, they're both still exhausted and on edge. But the atmosphere feels lighter now with a few more of their scars out in the open.
There's a WSB office about an hour away and, between the two of them, they've found someone discreet and willing to bend a few rules to run Faison's note to see if prints or paper source turn up anything interesting. The last thing either of them wants is the WSB sticking their noses into this but Anna has to concede they need the help.
"Anna, I can go. For Christ's sake, I am not an invalid and this makes more sense, especially if you're going to insist on going through with your foolish plan to..."
She doesn't give him a chance to finish. "My plan is not foolish."
"Oh, no, going to see Faison. That's the best idea you've ever had. He's sure to give us some straight answers."
"Well, if he's going to give them to anyone, it will be me."
Robert's eyes soften then as does his voice, "I don't like the idea of you in the same room with him. I never have. And especially not now with everything he's put you through lately."
"I'm a big girl, Robert. I can handle it."
"Yeah, but you're my big girl, Annie, and I like to look after you." Robert punctuates this with a light smack on her bottom that takes Anna so by surprise that she jumps an inch before she collects her wits enough to spin around and smack him on the shoulder.
"I am not your anything. I do not need looking after. And I'll thank you to keep your hands off my ass." She expects the effect of her words is dampened by the smile she can't quite help. It's good to see him getting some of his pep back even if it does mean him acting like... well, acting like himself.
Robert raises both hands as if in surrender. "My apologies, Commissioner, sir, for my untoward behavior."
"Oh, shut up."
"Do I have your permission then to go and run my errand?"
Anna narrows her eyes at him. He does look better but still nothing approaching his normal healthy self. And this trip could be pushing it considering the effort it was taking him to get from the entryway to the couch just two days ago.
"I'll take a taxi. I will be sitting in a car for an hour each way and, in between, getting out of said car to deliver a piece of paper." He says this as if he is a small child explaining something to his overprotective mother.
"Oh my God," she says as it dawns on her.
"What?" he demands. "You cannot possibly object to that. Come on."
"No, that's not it. You sounded exactly like Robin just now. Remember the way she used to talk to us when we'd put a protection detail on her or insist she be supervised when hanging out with a boy? The attitude? The dramatic flair?"
"You're comparing me to our hormonal thirteen year old daughter?"
"Oh, I always knew she got it from you. I mean thank goodness she inherited the ability to make a sound logical argument from me but the temper and the tantrums, that was obviously all your side of the family," Anna observes, crossing her arms and regarding him while awaiting a response.
"Yes, you've always held your temper in check so well," Robert agrees, his eyes pointedly shifting toward the destroyed lamp that still leans against the wall by the bed.
Anna waves a hand dismissively.
"One teeny little lamp. And it didn't even hit you. See? Dramatic." She emphasizes the final word with a poke to his chest.
"In that case, oh logical one, can you give me a reasoned argument as to why we should waste time and resources by sending you to the WSB office and the prison when I'm perfectly capable of making the trip to deliver the note?"
He is so obnoxious.
"Fine," she says. "But you come right back here after and you get back into bed and don't do another thing until I'm back."
"I love when you're bossy." He raises his hand as if going in for another smack.
"Don't," she warns.
She's only slightly disappointed that he relents.
Chapter 8
Faison looks...satisfied. He sits across from Anna, his hands cuffed to a table. Life in prison stretches out before him, but he's smiling like he's just won the lottery. He wanted her here and it sickens her to give him even the smallest amount of pleasure but here she is.
Anna pulls her chair out from the table and turns it, straddling the seat so the back of the chair creates one more physical barrier between them. She does her best to push the thoughts of her time with him when he was posing as Duke out of her mind, to not linger on touches and kisses now soured by betrayal and deceit.
"My darling, Anna, it's wonderful to see you again. Despite the circumstances of our last parting, I knew you wouldn't stay away from me for long."
"Don't," she insists.
"I'd much rather sit here across from you than your brooding Detective McBain. He and I had such a boring interrogation. I told him everything he wanted to know, though. I hope that pleases you." Faison looks at her almost hopefully. As always Anna shudders at the way he regards her. She wonders again how she allowed herself to go on so long believing he was Duke.
"You didn't tell John everything," Anna counters.
"No?" Faison returns, his voice and demeanor all exaggerated innocence. Anna clenches her fists underneath the table but keeps her expression calm.
"You didn't tell him about Robin."
"He didn't ask about Robin."
"He didn't know to ask. I'm asking."
Faison leans forward, closing as much distance between them as he is able with his hands shackled to the table and his feet to the chair. "She's a beautiful girl, so strong and intelligent. Magnetic, just like you. And despite my extreme dislike for her father, I've always been willing to accept her, Anna. All I've wanted is for the three of us to be a family but neither of you has been able to accept that."
The admiration in his voice as he speaks about Robin, the word "family" coming from his lips - it all feels like something scratching at her skin, leaving her raw. She shifts in her chair, pushes back against the part of her that is raging to get out, to feel her hands around his throat and listen to him gasp for breath.
"I got your little note," she says coolly.
He brightens immediately. "Always the clever one. I knew you'd follow my breadcrumbs. So then you know; it's all or nothing. If you could just accept me as part of your life, Anna, we could have everything. But, since you are unwilling to do so, you will be alone as I am."
Anna bites back the hatred that swells up within her, softens her tone and leans in closer to him. "I can do that, Faison. If you'll tell me where she is, I'm willing to try."
He smiles, looks into her eyes with a warmth that almost makes her shiver but she stays still, keeps her eyes locked with his.
"No," he says. He leans back then, widening the distance between them and shaking his head. "You don't know how I wish I could believe you, dearest Anna. But I know you don't mean it. It could have been perfect. If only Robin hadn't questioned me, hadn't asked me all those questions about her past with Duke instead of just accepting me as him. I could have brought her home to you. We could have been the family we were always meant to be. That was always my plan, Anna."
"We could still have that. Tell me where she is." Anna hates the edge of desperation in her voice, hates his ability to reduce her to this.
"No, it's too late. I know that now. You won't love me as myself. I was willing to live the rest of my life as someone else to make you happy. If only you could show me half that kind of devotion, we would have had a chance."
Anna slams her fists down on the table so hard it rattles despite being bolted to the floor.
"You are insane," she growls. She stands from her chair, rising up to her full height and looking down on him. In seconds she is around the table and standing beside him, her fist delivering a blow directly to his jaw. "Tell me where my daughter is. Tell me!"
Two guards rush in and grab her by the arms, wrestling her away from Faison and toward the door. She wrenches away from them and holds up her hands in surrender.
"Okay," she says to the guards. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'll leave. You don't have to drag me out." They don't grab for her again but they stay close. Their eyes are intent on her, making it clear they're ready if she makes another move toward the prisoner.
She turns to regard Faison once again, can't even find any satisfaction in the small trickle of blood that runs from the side of his mouth.
"I know you, Anna. I know that despite your temper there's a part of you that's drawn to me. We're connected. We always have been. Someday." He says the last word almost like a prayer, his lips softer around the word, reverent. His tongue flicks out to taste the blood at the corner of his lip.
"No," she says emphatically. "You'd have been right twenty years ago. There was a part of me then that was fascinated by you, that felt the pull, the excitement of the dance we did. But I fought it then and it's gone now."
"You can't just wish it away, Anna. It's not that easy."
"Easy?" she asks, the accompanying laugh harsh and bitter. "Nothing about this has been easy. And you're right. I couldn't wish it away. There was always some part of me that was attracted to you and I hated myself for it. You have no idea how much. But you destroyed any sliver of compassion, any trace of feeling besides hate I might have had for you when your actions kept me away from my daughter for ten years. And now you've taken her from me again."
She feels it in that moment - all the lost time, the damage to herself and, more importantly, to the people she loves. The weight of her own guilt sits firmly on her shoulders, almost as heavy as her hatred for the man who stands across from her.
Anna takes a deep breath, looks straight into Faison's eyes so none of her meaning is lost. "If anything happens to her," she says evenly, her tone cold. "If she is hurt or if she..." Anna can't bring herself to finish the sentence, to contemplate living the hell she's lived this past year all over again. "If I do not get my daughter back, nothing, no prison, no guards, nothing you can do will stop me from killing you. You may be able to escape from this place. You can run but you will not be able to hide from me. I will make you suffer and then I will bring your time on this earth to an end."
Not waiting for his response, she turns and allows the guards to escort her out of the room.
Chapter 9
Robert is already back from his trip to the WSB office when she returns. The files he obtained are spread out around him on the bed. He sits in the center.
Anna should sit down with him and let him walk her through his findings, whatever they may be, but she can't settle. Instead she paces the room. As she walks she flexes her right hand, taking some small comfort in the pain in her knuckles, the reminder of her fist connecting with Faison's face. But it's a small comfort only.
Robert seems to sense her bleak mood and allows her several minutes of silent pacing before he interrupts. "Do you want to talk about this or are you going to wear holes in the floor for the remainder of the evening?"
"I just... This whole meeting today made me angry at myself all over again. Months, Robert, months I let him fool me and he had Robin the entire time. How could I not have known?"
"Well how do you think I feel? I found Robin. She was there in the room with me and I let that cow Obrecht snatch her right out from under me."
"You tried, Robert. You fought for her. It's because of you we even know she's alive."
"It was a bloody amateur mistake, Anna. I'm better than that. I saw her there, our baby girl in that hospital bed, scared and asking for help. She looked so relieved to see me, like she knew everything was going to be okay, and I got sloppy right when she needed me to step up. I hate this habit I've made of failing her. I promised myself I wasn't going to do it again, but…"
Anna sighs as she makes her way to the couch and allows herself to fall back onto it in a gesture of surrender. There's something comforting about knowing he's miserable as well. She doesn't voice that for fear he'll take it the wrong way.
Instead she says, "If we're going to compare foibles and regrets, It's going to be a long night. What do you say we get some sleep and attempt to be more together people in the morning?"
"It sounds like a solid plan," he replies. His voice is weary, full of defeat and Anna wonders not for the first time how they get out of this, how they come back from it.
Not quite ready to contemplate that yet, she decides to brush her teeth instead. Concentrate on the little things. Just get through the night. She stands up from her spot on the couch. On the way into the bathroom she spots a bottle of pills on the table beside the bed.
"Did you take these tonight?" she asks, picking up the bottle and shaking it in his direction.
"Oh, I don't know," he replies with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Probably not."
"You're supposed to take these every twelve hours. It's been thirteen."
"Have you nothing better to do than monitor my antibiotic intake?"
"It just so happens I haven't. As you've seen, Robert, I've got nothing better to focus on and, since you're so lackadaisical about your own health I thought, 'Goodness, self, why don't you use this ample free time of yours to stare at Robert and determine whether he's taking his life saving medication in a timely fashion.'"
"I'll take them in a minute," he says with a slight wave of his hand in her direction. His eyes never leave the files in front of him.
"Robert, I will shove these down your throat if I have to." Her tone is apparently brusque enough to capture his attention because his eyes dart from the files to focus on her waving the bottle of pills threateningly in his direction.
"Good God," he exclaims. "You will. I'm having horrific flashbacks of you doing just such a thing many years ago."
"So you know I'm serious." She takes a couple of steps in his direction to emphasize her point.
When she gets close enough, he snatches the pill bottle from her hand and grabs a half-full bottle of water from the bedside table. His eyes are wide with alarm she thinks is only half feigned.
"Fine, I'm taking them," he assures her as he pops two pills in his mouth, takes a gulp of water, and swallows. "You just keep a safe distance, Nurse Feelgood."
Satisfied, Anna walks around to the other side of the bed and sits down, propping herself up with some pillows and grabbing a random file from his pile to glance through. She has no idea how he came back with so much when he was just meant to drop off Faison's note for processing.
"Threats aside," he adds. "I am touched by your concern."
"It's not concern," she retorts as she scans the file she's picked up which turns out to be a WSB report on Faison's business holdings that contains nothing different from the similar report she'd run through the PCPD. "It would be incredibly inconvenient if you were to die on me right now is all."
She keeps her eyes firmly on the page in front of her, reads the next sentence several times over before she can process the words. Her mind is back in that clinic, Robert motionless and unresponsive beneath her on the floor. She'd been sure she could feel her heart slowing in time with his as she'd watched him slip away from her.
"You still haven't told me how things went with Faison," he prods.
"I haven't told you because there's nothing to tell. You were right, it was a waste of time."
"Luv, as much as enjoy hearing those three beautiful words 'you were right' emerge from that gorgeous mouth of yours, I'm sorry it wasn't more productive." Robert grabs her chin as he says it, directs her eyes toward his so she can see the sincerity there.
"Well, it wasn't a total bust."
"No?"
"I did get a chance to punch him in the face before the guards pulled me away."
Robert grins, one of those smiles that makes his eyes crinkle and reminds Anna of a home thousands of miles and countless years away. Then Robert is leaning over her. Anna is startled for a moment until she realizes he's reaching for the phone that sits on the table next to the side of the bed she currently occupies.
"Who are you calling? It's the middle of the night," she says as Robert takes the phone off the hook.
"The prison. I want to see if they have security footage of you socking Faison."
Anna laughs and puts her hands on his chest, pushing him backwards and sending him rolling to the other side of the bed. This has the unfortunate side effect of pulling the phone cord tight against her chest and forcing her down against the bed.
"Robert, I'm stuck."
"Oh," he says propping himself up on one elbow to look down at her but not releasing the phone. "I kind of like this."
"Oh, for goodness sake." Anna reaches out and snatches the phone from him and rolls over to return it to the cradle.
Despite Anna's earlier suggestion that they needed some sleep, they work silently for nearly an hour more until Anna can scarcely keep her eyes open and she notes Robert's breathing becoming slower, his eyes falling shut and then fluttering open again frequently as he tries his hardest to keep his focus and not drift off.
"Bedtime," she announces, closing the file she's reading and launching herself off the bed to head toward the couch.
"Aren't you going to tuck me up?" he inquires, words followed by a soft yawn.
She turns and regards him. "You look tucked."
"Shows what you know. My pillows need fluffing."
"Robert," she says softly, as she pads over toward the door and turns off the light. "You're an idiot but I am glad you're here."
Chapter 10
The library is quiet. The only sounds are occasional footsteps punctuated by the turning of pages and the clicking of laptop keyboards. Anna massages her neck with one hand as she uses the other to flip the page of a newspaper.
This is a useless errand. Last night she and Robert had poured through local papers online, looking for some clue that might point to Faison or Jerry Jacks but the most recent month was only available in hardcopy. They both knew it was unlikely to turn up anything and were even more convinced of it after the fruitless hours spent on the online archives last night.
Anna had insisted on coming to the library this morning to check out the latest month anyway. The decision was partly the desire to leave no stone unturned, partly the need for focus and movement when it was starting to feel more and more like they had no direction at all, and partly the need to get away from Robert. Tension still crackles between them. His eyes seem to follow her every movement when they're together in the hotel room.
Accusing eyes all turn Anna's way when her ringing phone interrupts the quiet of the library. She pulls the phone out of her pocket and, though it's really her fault for not turning her ringer off, she's prepared to chastise Robert for creating the interruption anyway.
She hits 'answer' as she quickly grabs her purse and makes her way to an exit door that leads her into a deserted stairway.
"You have no idea how many dirty looks you just earned me at the library," Anna says by way of greeting.
Her heart stutters when she hears not Robert's voice but one just as familiar, a whisper but unmistakable. "Mom."
"Robin." Anna grips the phone tighter as if Robin and this moment might slip away if she lets them. "Where are you sweetheart? Are you okay?"
"I don't know. In a basement I think. I knocked out my guard and took his phone but I can't find a way out." Anna hears banging and shuffling and then her daughter's voice again. "Damnit."
Anna's mouth is frozen despite the endless words that rattle around in her brain demanding attention, demanding to be said.
"Mom. It's so good to hear your voice."
Robin's words are enough to knock Anna out of her shock. Her daughter needs her.
"Robin, we're looking for you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it's taken so long. But I will find you. I promise you."
"I know, Mom," Robin replies and it breaks Anna's heart how easily Robin believes in her even now. "How are Emma and Patrick?" Robin asks.
"They're fine, sweetie, as fine as they can be. I... I haven't told them yet that you're alive. I thought it best to wait." Anna does not say 'best to wait until I knew we could bring you home alive.' She also does not say 'Patrick scattered what we thought were your ashes.'or 'I cried the first time I saw him on a date with another woman.' She does not tell her daughter that Emma's smile isn't wide enough to make her nose crinkle any more, that Anna spent nights curled up with Emma in her toddler sized bed, arms around her as she cried for hours.
When Robin was a child herself, she used to chastise Anna for keeping the truth from her, would insist she didn't need to be sheltered. Anna hopes this once Robin will allow her the falsehood without comment. There are so few ways Anna can protect her daughter now.
"I need to get home to them," is all Robin says. There is exhaustion in the words - Anna wishes she could soothe it - but there is also a trace of Robin's steely will. As Anna will do anything to get to Robin, Robin will fight tooth and nail to return to her own daughter.
"You will, sweetie. You will," Anna promises, finding some well of conviction deep within her. "Describe the room you're in to me. Maybe I can help." She leans her back against the wall and allows herself to slide down to the floor. It's easier than relying on her shaking legs to support her.
"There's just one door but it's heavy and I can't break it or get it to budge."
"Okay, okay. How does it lock?"
"There's a keypad with numbers on it. I've been trying to see when someone enters the code but they're always so careful." There's a rising panic in Robin's voice that matches the tightness in Anna's own chest.
"Look closely at the keypad. Are any of the buttons more worn than the others? They might look discolored or the numbers might be wearing off. Those will be the numbers in your code. Usually there will be four of them."
"I'm looking...I..." Robin's voice breaks and there's a very obvious sob coming from her end of the line.
"Robin, what is it? Are you hurt?"
"It's just. I'm so glad you're there. I've needed you so much, Mom. I wish you were here, that I could hold you."
Anna raises a hand to wipe away her own answering tears. "Oh, sweetheart. I wish that too, more than anything. It will happen soon. I won't rest until you're safe and until we're together again. I promise you."
"I never doubted that. I knew once you knew I was alive, you'd find me." Robin pauses briefly and her voice is hesitant when she continues. "Mom, Dad... is he..."
"No, no. Sweetheart, you're dad is fine. It was touch and go for a while but he's fine now. He's not here with me right now but he's at the hotel and we're looking for you together, okay?"
There's another sob from Robin. "I was so afraid he was gone."
Anna can't let Robin fall apart now. Not when they have a chance at getting her out. She takes a deep breath and steadies her own voice. "Well, don't you worry about him. He's just fine. And just wait until I tell him you knocked out a guard. He's going to be as proud as I am. I don't mean to downplay your previous accomplishments but this is even better than all those perfect report cards of yours."
It works. She hears a low laugh from Robin. "Okay," Robin says. "I think I've got it but there are only three numbers."
"One of them is probably used twice. Tell me what they are."
"Three, nine, and seven."
"Can you think of anything your captors have said or done that might relate to those numbers? Maybe they've mentioned an address or..."
"No, no. I can't think of anything. They're not exactly talkative types."
"Okay, we're just going to have to keep trying different combinations. Do you have something you can write with to keep track of them as we go?"
"No, there's nothing in here."
"That's alright." Anna feels in her pockets for the pen and small notepad she hopes she remembered to bring with her this morning. "Just say the numbers out loud to me as you try them and I'll keep track."
"Oh no. Someone's coming. I have to..."
Suddenly Robin is silent and Anna hears a male voice, muffled and distant, "Well, what have we here?" The line goes dead.
Anna doesn't allow herself to cry or break down though she feels the loss of connection to Robin acutely, the usual dull ache in her chest made sharp and insistent. She forces herself to her feet and makes for the hotel. She made a promise. She will not let Robin down.
Chapter 11
Anna is all anxious energy when she storms into the hotel room. Robert is on the phone but makes a hasty excuse and hangs up the minute he sees Anna's face.
"You've got something," he says, no question in his voice.
"I spoke to her, Robert."
His face mirrors something Anna felt in her own chest in Switzerland as Robert had tried to get the truth out about Robin through the haze of drugs running through his system, hope warring with the need to protect an already battered heart.
"Robin, I spoke to Robin." She chokes on her words, the enormity of what has just happened coming down on her with its full weight.
"How?" is the only question he gets out though she can sense the others running through his head at full speed.
"She called me. She knocked out a guard. Grabbed his cellphone." Despite the dire circumstances, Anna knows there is pride in her tone. "We tried but we couldn't get her out. Someone came back and we got cut off."
Anna sinks down and sits on the couch, rests her forehead in the palm of her hands.
"She's still alive," Robert mutters, almost to himself.
"Yeah," Anna agrees. She should be happier but Robin's voice on the phone just reminded Anna how much she needs her here, in her arms.
Anna feels the cushions dip as Robert settles onto the couch next to her. Then he nudges her shoulder with his own.
"Our kid knocked out a guard," he says.
"Yeah," Anna agrees, something in the words breaking through the worry that's been crowding her mind. "And that's not all. There was a number pad to lock the door. Some of the numbers were worn more than the others. Three, nine, and seven." Anna jumps up and grabs her laptop from where it sits on the bed, returning to her spot next to Robert and logging into the PCPD database.
Robert has grabbed his computer as well.
"I'm logging into the PCPD," Anna says. "You take the WSB."
"Right," Robert agrees. "Jacks, any known associates, and a connection to the numbers three, nine, and seven."
For minutes the room is filled with the sounds of typing and then they both settle back against the couch, waiting for their searches to return results. As she has frequently since finding it, Anna finds herself toying with Robin's necklace as she waits - searching for comfort in even this slim connection to her daughter.
"This is good, you and I. Breaking cases together just like old times," Robert says. His words are an obvious attempt to lighten the tension that is thick between them but Anna cannot help her response.
"Yeah, our daughter's in danger because of me." The initial excitement of the new lead has given way to the melancholy Robin's call awakened in her. Her only thought is of her daughter locked in some dark room, fighting for escape, maybe even for her life. Because of her.
"Hey," Robert admonishes.
"It's true, isn't it? Faison had her, Robert. Faison. And what is the one thing that drives him to do everything he does? His obsession with me. Once again our daughter is caught in the middle." She slams her mug down on the table in front of her so hard that the coffee sloshes out leaving a wet splotch on the reports that litter the table. She hastily blots up the spill with the sleeve of her shirt. She only stills at the feel of Robert's hand on her wrist.
"This is not your fault, Anna. Faison's sick obsession with you is not your fault and what happened to Robin is not your fault."
"But, I should have known. You knew. Luke knew. Something wasn't right and I just... I ignored it because I wanted... I don't know what I wanted but none of it, none of it was more important than Robin."
The tears come unbidden and she doesn't fight it when Robert pulls her to his chest and wraps his arms around her.
"He took Robin. And it's been so long. I should have known. I should have gotten her by now. I didn't even have a chance before we were disconnected to ask if they're giving her the medication she needs. What if... and what must she think, Robert, that we haven't come for her. I wasted so much time believing Faison."
"She knows, luv. She knows we're looking for her and that we won't rest until we find her. As for her HIV status, well, she's alive and we'll just have to make sure she's taken care of when we get her home." His fingers run through her hair as he speaks and Anna finds something comforting in the repetitive motion and the solid weight of him against her.
"But, I should have..."
"He knew what he was doing Anna. He knew he couldn't face you in a fair fight so he did the one thing that would throw you off balance and give him a chance to get to you."
And just like that it's anger, white-hot, rushing through her. She puts both hands on Robert's chest to push away.
"He used our daughter to get to me," she states - something she's known all along but this time there's no sadness, no self-pity. There is steel and determination. She stands, her fists clench, fingernails digging into the skin of her palms. "He's going to suffer for this. Whoever has her now is going to suffer for this. We are going to find her, Robert. And I will destroy anyone who gets in our way."
When she finally turns to focus on Robert, the angry haze clears just enough that she can see he's smiling. It's an old and familiar look but one she hasn't seen in awhile.
"'Atta girl, Annie," he says. "Let's get 'em and find our girl."
As if in on the conversation, Robert's computer, which he's set down on the coffee table, lets out a loud ding. Anna, who is just slightly closer, grabs it.
"Please, help yourself," Robert intones.
Eyes still on the screen, Anna reaches out with the hand that isn't holding the laptop and smacks him lightly on the chest with the back of her hand in response.
"We have something," she announces.
Robert attempts to peer over her shoulder at the information on the screen but Anna whirls to face him instead.
"Jerry Jacks did some time with and became very buddy buddy with an upstanding citizen by the name of Richard Jamal and guess when dear old Dick's daughter's birthday is? March 9th, 1997."
"Three, nine, nine, seven," Robert exclaims. He raises his hand in the air and Anna smacks it enthusiastically with her own.
Chapter 12
"You were right, boss," John says on the other end of the line. "I found Jamal's ex in New York. The daughter lives with her and she confirmed the birth date."
"Any sign of Jamal?" Anna has to ask but she knows the answer is no. John would have led with any positive news. His words are careful, like he's trying to let her down easily. Anna's not sure if she loves him for it or if she wishes they were in the same room so she could smack him for treating her like she's so fragile.
"She says there's been no contact for over five years. Didn't even seem to know he was overseas. I had no reason to believe she wasn't telling the truth. My read was she was happy to be rid of him."
Robert is in the shower and Anna listens to the steady hum of the running water for a moment, takes a deep breath before she speaks again.
"She had no ideas about where he might be or anyone he might be associating with?" she asks without much hope.
"No. Sorry, Commissioner. I wish I had better news. But from what I could tell this guy terrorized her and the daughter when they were together and she cut off all ties as soon as she got the chance."
Terrorized. Anna pictures Robin. Shivers as she remembers the fear that laced her daughter's voice during that brief phone call. At least Faison had wanted Robin alive. Jerry Jacks, Richard Jamal - they're wild cards.
John's still speaking when Anna shakes her head to clear her thoughts and bring herself back to the moment, "She'd never heard of Jacks and I tracked down the names of the only two associates of his she knew of. One is dead and the other is doing five years for aggravated assault."
"Send me the names anyway, would you?"
"Already in your email along with the rest of my notes from the interview."
Anna opens her laptop and clicks on her email where she spots a message from John sent just a few seconds ago.
"And, the guy that's in prison?" she inquires.
"Quentin McKenna."
"Which prison?"
"Five Points Correctional in Romulus, New York. I've got an appointment to see him this afternoon, which will be tomorrow morning for you. I'll let you know if I shake anything loose."
She should have known that he'd be on top of things. It's why she trusted him to look into this for her in the first place.
"Thank you, John."
"Anything you need, boss. I wish I had better news for you."
"Me too," Anna replies, leaning back to rest her head on the arm of the couch and staring up at the ceiling. "But I appreciate the effort nonetheless."
"I'll call you tomorrow but you let me know if you need anything before that, anytime - day or night."
"Remind me to give you a raise when I get back into town." Even as she says the words, the prospect of life going on in Port Charles feels foreign to Anna. Her mind flits briefly to what will happen if they can't find Robin soon or, worse, if she's dead.
Will Anna have the strength to return without her, to face the people who love Robin knowing she's failed? In her heart she knows she will not survive losing Robin again, not like this. Luckily John's reply pulls her attention back to the present before her mind can spiral too far down that hole.
"I'll be waiting in your office," John volleys back.
"I've no doubt. Goodnight, John."
"Later, Commissioner."
As she hangs up, Anna shakes her head, an attempt to clear her darker thoughts. The rustling of sheets alerts her to the fact Robert has emerged from the shower and is crawling into bed.
"I take it that was your luxuriously long-haired detective friend?" Robert inquires.
"Yeah," Anna replies, standing up to stretch her legs. She glances at the clock and sees it's nearly 3 a.m. That means it's 9 a.m. in New York where John is. He must have made the trip last night and found Jamal's ex-wife first thing in the morning. She wishes she had asked him exactly when his appointment at the prison was so she could set an alarm and be sure to be awake for his call. Rather than call him back and ask she makes sure her phone's ringer is set on the highest setting.
"And from the look on your face I'm also guessing he didn't find out anything of note?"
"Not much. The wife didn't want anything to do with Jamal and hasn't kept up on his whereabouts. One old buddy is in a New York prison and John's on his way there in a few hours but I'm not terribly hopeful. Sounds like the guy has been locked up for a while." She walks the path from the couch to the foot of the bed and back again.
"Come on, luv. You're not going to be any good if you don't get some rest."
"I can't. I'm not tired." Anna walks the line of the room again, her mind turning over the contents of John's call.
"Well, I'm tired of watching you. You're making me dizzy." Robert lifts the covers and pats the spot next to him on the bed. "Come on. Just lie down for a minute."
"What? With you? Seriously, Robert," she dismisses. She pauses a moment to cock her head at him and roll her eyes then resumes her pacing.
"Honestly, Anna, I'm too weak to put the moves on you properly and you know I hate to do anything halfway. Besides, it's a bit cocky of you to assume I'd want to. So, unless you're worried you can't control yourself in the same bed with me, you've got nothing to worry about on my end."
"Oh, and I'm the cocky one." She turns to face him and crosses her arms, considering. The truth is she's exhausted both physically and mentally but there's a restless energy thrumming through her veins that makes it nearly impossible for her to still. Maybe if she lies down for just a moment he'll at least shut up about it though.
And the bed does look far more comfortable than the couch. Which, she tells herself sternly, has nothing to do with the fact that Robert is in said bed.
"Fine," she mutters as she kicks off her shoes. She takes the few steps toward the bed and Robert lifts the covers again so that she can crawl underneath them.
"That's a girl."
She narrows her eyes to indicate her lack of appreciation for his commentary. "You're hogging all the pillows," she grumbles.
He shifts slightly and pulls out one of the pillows that's piled behind his back just enough to give her room to rest her head on it but close enough to him that she'll practically have to snuggle to manage it. But, now that she's under the covers and warm and her head is inches away from a pillow, she's realizing she's not terribly concerned about the details.
Or maybe it's not so much that she's unconcerned as this is achingly familiar, the heat of his body, the way their bodies conform to each other even when they're not quite touching. If she were more awake, she's sure her brain would put a stop to that train of thought immediately.
But she's so very tired that she elects not to worry about it right now. Instead, she puts her head down on the pillow with a contented sigh and the last thing she feels before she falls asleep is Robert's arm settling around her, his hand resting gently on her back.
Chapter 13
It seems only moments later that the shrill ringing of the phone Anna's tucked under her pillow pulls her from sleep. She fumbles in the dark until she can locate and answer it, ignoring Robert's sounds of protest next to her.
"John?" Anna mumbles sleepily.
"Grandma, it's me," says a sweetly excited voice on the other end of the line.
Anna bolts upright in bed, "Emma, sweetie, what are you doing calling so early? Is everything alright?"
"It's not early, Grandma. It's lunch time," Emma points out.
Anna's brain catches up and her heart stops racing with worry.
"You're right, Emma. I'm sorry. I'm in a different time-zone and I got a little confused."
"Where are you?"
"You know what, sweetie? I can't say right now but I'll tell you all about it when I get home," Anna promises. She makes another promise to herself that she won't return to Port Charles without bringing Emma's mother home to her.
"What's going on?" Robert interrupts. Anna turns her head to find him looking at her, still groggy with sleep.
"Hey," Anna says into the phone. "I'm here with your grandpa. You want to say hello?"
"Yeah," Emma responds enthusiastically.
Robert snatches the phone from Anna's hand eagerly now that he realizes it's Emma on the other end.
"Hey, pumpkin. How's my favorite granddaughter?" His voice changes when he talks to Emma, just like it did when he spoke to Robin all those years ago. Actually, he still has a special voice just for Robin. Anna hopes she'll have the chance to hear it again soon. She closes her eyes for a minute, allows herself to get lost in the soft timbre of his words.
It isn't until she hears Robert's voice crack that Anna returns her attention to the content of the conversation.
"I'm sorry I haven't been around more too," Robert is saying, and his voice is thick with tears that he's fighting to hold back.
He looks at Anna helplessly and she grabs the phone from him. She puts one arm around him, pulling him in until his head rests on her shoulder, as she puts the phone to her ear with her other hand.
"Hey, Emma. It's Grandma again."
"I didn't mean to make Grandpa sad. I'm sorry," Emma says. Anna can't stand to hear the hurt in her voice.
"No, no. You didn't make him sad. He just misses you. We both do. But, you know what? When I come home, I'm bringing Grandpa with me and the two of us are taking you out to Kelly's for your favorite chocolate milkshake, okay?"
"Can we have the milkshakes before dinner like you let me do last time?"
"Shhhh. Remember we're not supposed to tell your Daddy about that."
"It's okay," Emma says, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper nonetheless. "Daddy's at work. Maxie's here. She lets me eat dessert first sometimes too."
Anna hears her goddaughter laugh in the background and her mind turns to Maxie's breakdown at Robin's funeral. The image only renews Anna desperation to return Robin to the people who love her.
"Grandma, I called to tell you Daddy's gonna let me take karate classes," Emma exclaims as if she's just remembered the purpose of her call and simply cannot hold it in one more second.
"Really? You know, your grandma just happens to be a black belt in karate."
"I know. That's why I wanna do it," Emma explains as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Anna's heart swells with pride.
"Well, if you want to, why don't you tell your dad to forget the classes and I'll teach you myself when I get home."
"Really?" Emma asks, and she sounds so eager that Anna can visualize her bouncing up and down as she asks.
"Really," Anna assures her. "I'd love to, Emma."
"Yay! When are you coming home?"
"I'm not sure exactly. But I hope it will be soon, sweetheart."
"Okay, I'm gonna get Daddy to get me everything I need so we can start karate as soon as you get here."
"Okay, little bug. I'll be ready the minute I step off the plane. You and Maxie have a good day, okay? And I'll talk to you soon."
"Bye, Grandma."
"Bye, sweetie."
Anna hangs up feeling a renewed sense of focus. Even across continents, Emma's presence has calmed her, reminded her of her purpose. Anna cannot fix Robin's childhood but she can help Robin now and, in the process, she can give Emma a chance at something Robin never had.
It's a few minutes after six in the morning. They should get up now, get started on the day. But Emma's call has not had the same effect on Robert that it has had on Anna.
Robert's head is still resting on Anna's shoulder and he maintains his silence even after she hangs up the phone. She knows the weight of guilt that Emma's innocent question about not seeing him more often must have brought down on him. So, instead of getting up, she lies back down, pulling Robert with her so his head is resting on her chest.
"It will be okay," she whispers. "We'll get Robin home and it will all be okay." She plants a soft kiss on the crown of his head and ruffles her fingers through her hair before closing her eyes again.
The next time it is not a ringing phone that awakens her, rather...
"Aha!"
Anna bolts upwards in the bed with a start. The source of the exclamation that pulled her from her sleep sits beside her in bed gesturing excitedly at his computer.
"Success," Robert exclaims.
Anna narrows her eyes at him, still attempting to process the sudden wake-up paired with Robert's excited outburst.
"Guess whose mother is dead?" he asks eagerly.
"Robert... I... no, I don't want to guess whose mother is dead," she says, rubbing her eyes and wishing acquiring coffee didn't involve getting out of bed.
"Richard Jamal's mother is dead," Robert announces.
Anna blinks and lifts her hand to her mouth to cover a yawn.
"Do you want to know why that's important, luv?" he prods.
"Well it seems you're just dying to tell me so let's get on with it." She falls back against her pillows as she says it. Maybe if he gets whatever this is out of his system he'll shut up and she can close her eyes again for just a few minutes before getting out of bed and facing another day of disappointments.
"Because his mother still rents a cabin," Robert explains.
"But she's..." Anna begins, suddenly feeling a little less tired.
"Dead."
"We've established," Anna intones.
"Dead eight months ago to be precise and, yet, someone is still paying the rent at the first of every single month."
Anna's fully awake now. She sits up again, finds herself bubbling with excitement to match his.
"This is it, Robert. It has to be." Anna closes the small distance between them, throwing her arms around Robert.
"We did it. We're going to bring her home," he whispers against her ear.
Her heart is racing with the excitement of their discovery, maybe also with the rush of his breath on her neck. They've done a careful dance these past years and Robert's arms, warm now around her bare shoulders, remind her why. The trick is not to get this close because, for as long as she can remember, they've been all push and pull and inevitability and sometimes physical distance is the only way to maintain the delicate balance they've achieved.
They're past that point now. Anna knows because, when she leans back to break the hug, somehow her lips end up on Robert's instead, her hands on his back pulling him closer instead of pushing them apart.
Robert responds in kind and she opens her mouth, allowing his tongue to run along the inside of her lip, the edges of her teeth. She bites down lightly on his tongue, not enough to hurt, just enough to remind him that she could. He lets out a low moan in response. She's kissed him like this so many times before but a lifetime ago and not enough, never enough.
She's lost in it; they both are, but only for a moment. Reality comes rushing back and Anna breaks the kiss. She pulls the covers off and jumps out of bed. She needs to get as far away from him as possible as quickly as possible. A pair of her sneakers sits on the floor. She sits down on the couch, puts them on, and begins lacing them.
"Address," she prompts as she ties the second shoe.
"What?" he asks. And she doesn't look at him, doesn't concentrate on his voice laced with desire.
"Address to the cabin," she reminds him.
"Hold on now," he says, catching up and following her out of the temporary haze the excitement over the discovery and their kiss created. "This place is pretty remote. We're going to need tech."
"We? No, no Robert. There is no way you're coming with me," Anna asserts. She doesn't add that the number of reasons he'd be distracting multiplied exponentially moments ago with his lips against hers.
"You're going to need backup."
"Wait? Is this because of the..." She waves her hand back and forth between them.
"The fact that you kissed me just now?" he offers.
"Oh, really, Robert. I don't have time to argue about who kissed whom right this minute but I daresay it was at least mutual."
"Dare you now? No, this is not because of the kiss. This is because I want to make sure you're protected." He stands up as he speaks and begins walking toward her. She fights the urge to back away, maintain the distance she's established.
"Oh, my god. No. I think it is. The kiss has reawakened your chauvinistic impulse to protect your little woman or something. That's gross, Robert."
"I fail to see why you're suddenly attacking me when I am only looking out for your welfare," he shoots back, any trace of desire in his voice is gone now, replaced with irritation. Under the circumstances, it's probably the best Anna can hope for.
"I've been just fine without backup until now." Shit. That was the wrong thing to say. "I mean you'll back me up from here like you have been," she corrects.
"It's an admirable attempt at a save you just made there but this one's different. I can feel it. She's there, Anna. She's got to be. And we know from her phone call she's got guards. Multiple. We've got Jacks, who is a fine piece of work all on his own, Jamal, and who knows how many others. I'm not letting you go in there on your own. Because I know you and you're not going to be content with simple surveillance if you discover she's in there. You'll go in guns blazing, fists of fury, whether it's a wise move or not."
Anna sighs. He has a point.
"Fine," she concedes. "We'll call local law enforcement but don't argue with me about going yourself, Robert. We both know you're in no shape."
"Fine, fine. I am nothing if not a reasonable man."
Anna simply snorts in response.
He's closed nearly all the distance between them now and stands beside the couch. When she stands he grabs her arm and pulls her toward him.
"Listen, I know there's still a lot of hurt between us. You've every right to that. And I know I've been hanging onto some of my own. But that hurt is not all that's there. These last few days, that kiss just now, they prove that."
"Robert, we don't have the time. Not for anything else until Robin is safe."
"I know, luv. But once that happens. And it will happen. I think this is a conversation worth having."
Anna doesn't say anything. Instead she kisses him again. This time it's light and quick. When she pulls away, his eyes lock with hers. She nods in the affirmative then turns her back - a moment and a deep breath to regain her composure and then she's back on track.
"Okay, time for me to get going," she says.
"Wait, wait. Not so fast." There's a pen and paper on the nightstand and he walks over and grabs them. He scribbles out a note, which he hands over to her without further explanation.
It's a shopping list. She narrows her eyes at the words on the page and then at him.
"Night vision goggles? Walkie talkies? This is 2012. We have cell phones, Robert." She rolls her eyes. He does tend to get over excited about a mission. "And the local cops will have walkies."
"Okay, but the goggles are good, right? An old-fashioned nighttime sneak attack. They'll never see us..."
She shoots him a warning look.
"... you and your local law enforcement buddies coming."
"Speaking of my local law enforcement buddies, I'm sure they'll have night vision goggles too."
"I don't know about that, Annie. Look at this address. This is a tiny little town, population 200 human beings and a heck of a lot of marmots. Why don't you go out, grab those and the rest of the stuff on this list and I'll get in touch with the local authorities and coordinate from here while you're out. By the time you get back, we'll be ready to go."
"Fine. Fine. I'll go," she relents. Some of the things on the list make a lot of sense and he's right that a small town police department likely won't have a lot of sophisticated equipment. "You'll have everything set up by the time I get back? We need to move on this."
"It'll all be taken care of. No worries. Now, go, go," he urges, gently nudging her in the direction of the door.
Anna fields a call from John while she's working her way through Robert's list. His visit to the jail hasn't turned up any leads. Anna rushes him off the phone, promising him an explanation soon and thanking him for his efforts. An hour later, shopping complete and bags of supplies in hand, Anna returns to the hotel room and flings open the door. "Okay, how did the..."
She realizes she is speaking to an empty room. Robert is gone.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Chapter 14
Anna can't decide if she's more irritated that Robert played her or that she actually fell for it. In retrospect, she's surprised he didn't pull something like this sooner. It's just like him to do something foolhardy and risky in the name of keeping her out of danger. Never mind that he's the one recovering from a nearly successful attempt on his life. Never mind that he insisted she needed backup and he's likely gone in with none.
Despite repeated evidence to the contrary, Robert Xavier Scorpio thinks he's bloody invincible. He's not. She's going to find him, rescue him if necessary, rescue their daughter, and then she's going to murder him.
The map she brought up on her phone before leaving the hotel said the cabin was three hours away. Anna makes it in two and a half. The sun set partway through her drive but she can't rely on the cover of darkness alone to disguise her approach. She leaves the car a mile away from the cabin and walks the remainder. When she arrives at a tall but rundown privacy fence that indicates she's reached the land the cabin is situated on, Anna has some small shred of hope that she'll find Robert in the wooded area that surrounds the cabin still waiting to make his move. The more logical side of her brain reminds her that she is never that lucky when it comes to arriving in time to prevent him from doing idiotic things.
Once she's scaled the fence, landing with a hop in the overgrown grass on the other side, Anna finds that, as suspected, the woods are devoid of any life aside from her and the shuffling of a few critters in the leaves. Anna roughly pulls at the night-vision binoculars she's attached to her belt, as if somehow by mishandling them she can express her exasperation with Robert for sending her out to buy them and then pulling a disappearing act on her. She puts the binoculars to her eyes and focuses on the cabin.
There don't seem to be any guards stationed outside. Likely this is a small operation with no more than a few people inside. If she's lucky, maybe only one. She finds a good vantage point and forces herself to sit for an hour, binoculars trained on the cabin, scanning the surrounding area. Her legs are tense, every nerve in her body screaming at her to run toward Robin at full-speed, headfirst into whatever danger might wait inside the cabin.
She remembers Robert telling her once, during their all too short first marriage, that he was surprised she'd lived as long as she had with what he called her "lust for danger." He'd said it then with lust in his own eyes, pulled her body flush against his and kissed her with lips sweet with the wine they'd just shared in celebration of another mission well done, another mission survived. But there was something else in his eyes too, something that she wasn't ready to acknowledge then - fear. His inability to understand her completely has always drawn him towards her but it's always frightened him too. It's just one factor in their constant push and pull.
She still has it now, that lust for danger, but it's been tempered over the years by age, patience, and experience. Tonight, especially, she knows she cannot afford mistakes, not with Robin and Robert's lives on the line. So, she waits and she watches.
The shades are drawn. If she goes in, she'll be going in blind. The safest thing to do would be to wait until morning and go into town in search of blueprints for the building. If she can't know how many people are inside, at least she can learn the layout. At the very least she should call the local authorities, spend an hour convincing them that she's not a crank caller and has legitimate reason to suspect her daughter is being held in this cabin and then spend hours more waiting for the proper warrants to enter the building. That would be the best-case scenario. More likely they'd never grant permission to enter the cabin on the miniscule shreds of evidence she has.
Anna is a cop, a spy, a thief. She knows the rules and how to enforce them. She also knows when and how to break them. She's learned that safest isn't always smartest. She has learned to tame her lust for danger but she's never shied away from it when necessary.
Right now only one thing is important. She is a mother. She has nearly forgotten what it feels like to hold her daughter in her arms.
In all likelihood Robert is inside that cabin now and something that has to be more than hope tells Anna that Robin is inside too. If Robert has upset the plans of Jerry Jacks or whoever is in that cabin with their daughter, there's no telling what he may have set in motion. Anna does not have the luxury of time to wait.
On all fours she makes her way out of the woods and inches closer to the cabin. In the back of her mind she hears Robert's voice telling her she'll need backup. She tells the voice to shut up and reminds it that maybe, had Robert followed his own advice, they wouldn't be in this current predicament.
Chapter 15
Anna spots Jamal not long after entering the cabin. She presses herself behind a door and slows her breathing, careful to make no sound until he's just past her. There is an animal impulse pounding at the back of her skull that tells her a fight would be satisfying but her training and sense of urgency win out. She delivers a swift chop to the back of his neck and he slumps to the floor unconscious.
"There's never any readily available rope when you need it," Anna mutters to herself as she glances around her for something to tie him up with. She settles for an extension cord pulled from a nearby outlet to bind his feet and a blanket pulled from the back of the couch to tie his hands behind him. She rips off a strip of the blanket to gag him as well. It would be no good to have him waking and screaming for Jerry Jacks though Anna doesn't plan to be here long enough for that to happen. Jamal looks to be nearly twice her weight so carrying him somewhere completely out of the way will be impossible but she manages to nudge him a few feet so he's partially hidden by the couch. It will have to do.
Her senses go on high alert just seconds before she hears the voice from behind her, "You Scorpios do have a way of mucking up my day."
Jerry Jacks' hands slam into her back, pushing her forward, but Anna is ready and she spins with the momentum and delivers a kick that hits him just below the knees. He stumbles but catches himself on the back of a chair and regains his balance.
"It's Devane, actually," Anna corrects him, raising her fists and advancing on him. "Anna Devane. I don't believe we've had the pleasure before today."
Jerry launches himself toward her, his own fists raised. She lands a solid blow to his gut and one to his shoulder before his fist connects with her jaw with enough force to propel her backwards a few steps.
"Where's Robin?" she demands, already moving in on him again. The pain only fuels her. She raises a fist, feigns a punch, then surprises him with a roundhouse kick that sends him sprawling backwards against the wall. She's on him - hands slamming into his shoulders and pinning him in place - before he can regain his equilibrium. "Robin," she reminds him.
"Has not been a very gracious houseguest. I can't say much for her family either."
Anna lets go of his shoulders and Jacks takes a few seconds to react. That's all she needs. She grabs his head - a hand on each side - and slams it backwards against the wall with all the considerable force she can muster.
"Never mind," she says as his body crumples to the floor. "I'll find her myself."
Judging from the fact that no one came running during what was a loud fight, Anna's willing to bet that there is no one in the house who is out to stop her except the two unconscious men who are currently occupying the living room floor. Still she makes a sweep of the entire first floor as she searches for a door to a basement.
Her heart is racing, not so much from the exertion of the fight but from seeing Jamal and Jacks. Their presence here confirms her suspicions. Robin could be only footsteps away.
The stairs are just off the kitchen. Anna takes them down two at a time and still feels like she's moving in slow motion. The air feels too thick around her; she struggles to settle her breath.
There's a door in front of her, electronic keypad, and the numbers echo through her mind in Robin's voice as she types in the code. Three. Nine. Nine. Seven. A beep. A green light. She turns the knob and pushes the door inwards.
The sight that greets her is Robert, gag in his mouth hands and legs bound to a chair. Hope is heavy and steady in her heart as her eyes scan the rest of the room. They freeze on Robin.
Here in this room. Bound and gagged like Robert but alive, breathing, looking right back at Anna with those wide, admiring eyes Anna's never quite felt like she deserved.
Robin is pale. Even from across the room Anna can see dark circles under her daughter's eyes. But despite those physical markers, Robin does not look defeated. Her shoulders are squared and her gaze on Anna is steady and direct.
It's instantaneous - the rush of relief, the certainty of an unbearable wrong now set right. Anna can feel it bridging the gaps within her.
Anna's feet are unsteady as she makes her way to Robin. She collapses to her knees in front of Robin's chair. Gently she reaches out with shaking hands and removes the gag from her daughter's mouth.
"Hi," Anna says, her fingers tracing the curve of Robin's cheek, stopping to rest on her chin.
"Hi, Mom," Robin chokes out, the words rough and ending on a sob.
"Shhh," Anna replies, stroking Robin's cheek once more. "It's okay. I'm going to get you out of here."
It takes every ounce of concentration Anna has not to cut Robin as Anna uses the pocketknife she brought with her to release the ropes binding Robin to the chair. Her hands don't normally shake like this.
Once Robin is untied, Anna lets her head fall to rest on Robin's knees. She allows an, "I'm sorry" to die before it passes her lips. It's not enough and there isn't time. Instead she swallows, lets the metallic tang of the blood from the punch she received earlier clear her head enough that she can look up at her daughter.
"What do you say we untie your father and get out of here?" she asks, standing up and reaching out a hand to Robin. Robin takes her hand - Anna had almost forgotten the way Robin's hand fit in hers perfectly - and allows Anna to pull her up. They make their way over to Robert who is mumbling something unintelligible around his gag.
Anna bends down with her pocketknife to undo the ropes around his feet and Robin reaches for the gag.
"I don't want to hear one word from you," Anna admonishes. "This was an idiot move on your part."
"I was just going to do some reconnaissance, lay a little ground work. I wasn't going to engage until you arrived," he protests.
"Oh, really? How did that work out for you?" she asks as, with one final pull, she works the ropes completely loose of his feet.
"Complain if you must but let's not forget that I found our daughter," Robert reminds her.
"You did not find Robin. You happened to be placed in the same room as Robin when your ill-advised rescue attempt got you captured. I found Robin. You can tell the difference because I walked in on my own two feet - with a plan, I might add - and was at no point bound and gagged."
"I take back everything I said earlier about being proud of you."
"You didn't say anything about being proud of me."
"I did, to Robin. That was before we caused a spot of extra trouble and they tied us up and gagged us. I told her what brilliant work you'd done to find her and I specifically remember saying I was proud of you. Didn't I sweetheart?"
"He did," Robin chimes in.
"Well, first of all, Robert, thank you but, contrary to your belief, I do not live for your approval so your retraction does not wound me as deeply as you seem to think. But, secondly, you can't take it back. I've heard it. Robin's heard it. Right, Robin?" Anna directs at her daughter.
"I did hear it," Robin affirms. "But don't you think we should, you know, finish escaping before you guys argue?"
"Oh, don't worry, sweetie. I've knocked everyone out. I don't anticipate any problems with our exit," Anna assures Robin, waving her hand as if to dismiss the objection. To Robert she says, "You see? Your pride in me is out in the world. No takebacks."
Anna hears a sniffle and looks over to see tears forming in Robin's eyes.
"Oh no. Don't cry. Your father and I will shut up and get you out of here. Come on, Robert."
"No, these are happy tears," Robin insists, placing a hand on Anna's shoulder. "It's really good to have you guys back. Really, really good."
"Even when we're bickering like.. well, like us?" Anna asks.
"Especially then. I missed you."
"Oh, sweetie, we missed you too. You have no idea how much," Anna responds, pulling both Robin and Robert into a hug - allowing herself to breathe them in for just a moment, her family - before leading them out of the room.
Chapter 16
Anna calls the WSB while she, Robin, and Robert are on their way up from the basement. After that, she insists Robert and Robin head off without her in Robert's rental car. when Robert protests, Anna whispers to Robert that they need to get Robin out as soon as possible and someone has to wait for the WSB. He relents and Robin trails after him after hugging Anna one more time. Anna has to force herself to say lightly, "See you back at the hotel." Everything in her screams not to let Robin out of her sight.
But, she lets them go. A few minutes after that Jacks wakes up. Anna's already found rope and tied him and Jamal up properly so there's no threat of them escaping but she knocks him out again anyway. Jamal has the sense to stay quiet after that. It's less than an hour later when three WSB agents show up to cart them away. From her earlier phone conversation, Anna gathers they want Jacks for themselves and are planning to turn Jamal over to local law enforcement for an outstanding warrant.
Anna speeds the entire way back to the hotel, her thoughts never leaving her daughter. She finds Robin in the hotel room staring at the phone, her teeth worrying at her lower lip.
"You haven't called yet?" Anna asks though she already knows the answer.
"I haven't called, yet." Robin confirms.
"Okay, I'm going to call them on my phone and then I'm going to hand it to you." If Anna allows her, Robin will stay stuck here. She'll run through all the possible outcomes of the phone call in her mind until she makes herself sick.
Robin doesn't respond, just keeps her eyes trained on the hotel phone in front of her.
"Robin," Anna says firmly. "Alright?"
Finally her daughter turns to look at her, a mixture of emotions that squeeze at Anna's heart are warring on Robin's face. Nothing Anna can say will bring any comfort right now so she simply finds the name in her contacts and hits the call button.
"Dr. Drake," Patrick answers his phone.
"Patrick, it's Anna." Her voice is unsteady. It must be because his is all concern when he responds.
"Anna? Is everything alright? We've missed you. I know Emma spoke with you the other day but I've been wondering where you disappeared to."
Now that they're on the phone she realizes there is no way to diminish the shock of what he's about to hear.
"Everything's good," she assures him. "Everything is really good. Patrick, I have someone here who needs to talk to you and you're not going to believe it's real but I promise you that it is."
"Anna?" he asks. And, despite her assurances, his voice is laced with apprehension. She doesn't blame him after the year they've had.
Anna doesn't respond. Robin's hand is shaking as she takes the phone from Anna's. Anna turns and grabs Robert by the hand, leading him to the door so they can leave and offer their daughter some privacy.
"Patrick," she hears Robin say as the door shuts behind them. "It's me. It's Robin."
A few minutes later and Anna is mindlessly twirling the saltshaker that sits on the table of the hotel restaurant as she and Robert wait for a meal Anna is certain she'll never be able to eat.
"It was hard walking away from her," Robert says so softly that Anna almost believes she's imagined it. But, when she looks up, the pain in his eyes makes it obvious she heard correctly.
"I know," she says. She lets out a sigh of relief. Robin might accuse them of hovering - or more correctly of wanting to hover because they'd at least had the sense to leave her alone despite their reservations - but Anna takes comfort in knowing at least Robert feels the same way.
"You too?" he asks hopefully.
"It's like I can't stand to not be looking at her," Anna confirms. "To just have that tangible proof right in front of me that she's alive and safe."
"Do you think we can go back up yet?" Robert asks eagerly.
"I think she and Patrick have a lot to talk about."
"That's a no, I take it?"
"That's a 'we should wait as long as we possibly can.'"
"I think I'm reaching my limit here already, Anna."
The waiter chooses that moment to arrive with two stacks of pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup.
"Just shut up then and try to eat your pancakes," Anna orders him as the waiter places their plates in front of them.
"I don't want my bloody pancakes," Robert complains. "Who orders pancakes in Switzerland, anyway? What self-respecting Swiss restaurant even has pancakes in the first place?"
"Well pardon me for stepping up while you stared sullenly at the menu. I thought they would be comforting. Which is I assume why this hotel which caters to Americans has them on the menu in the first place."
"Well, I still don't want them," Robert says petulantly.
The waiter hovers by the table, apparently unsure of what, if anything, he should do in response to Robert's outburst.
"Don't mind him," Anna assures the waiter as she picks up the syrup and pours it over her pancakes and then reaches across the table to do the same to Robert's. "He's always cranky in the mornings."
"That's too much syrup," Robert protests, swatting her hand away.
"See?" Anna inquires of the waiter who, with one last confused look in their direction, beats a hasty retreat. To Robert she says, "You said you didn't want the pancakes anyway. What do you care how much syrup is on them?"
"You're trying to distract me by making me angry," he observes.
"You do it for me often enough."
"I'd love to take credit for that, sweetheart, but things that irritate you simply come naturally to me."
"Ditto," Anna says with a laugh, as she reaches across the table once more and pours the remainder of the bottle of maple syrup on top of Robert's pancakes. "Eat up."
Chapter 17
Neither Robert nor Anna eats much, but they manage to linger nearly an hour over their pancakes in order to give Robin time to talk to Patrick and Emma. When they both agree they've waited it out as long as they possibly can, they make their way back up to the room to find Robin on her way out the door.
"Where are you off too?" Robert's aiming for casual but Anna can hear the note of panic in his tone.
Robin still looks pale. Despite her attempts to quiet her mind, Anna finds her thoughts racing with fear and worst-case scenarios. Still, she tries her best to hope Robin's fatigue can be attributed to the emotional overdrive of the past few hours and nothing else.
"I was going to see if I could find you guys down at the restaurant," Robin says as Anna and Robert usher her back into the room and close the door behind them. "Patrick is calling in some prescriptions for me and I was just going to run to the pharmacy to pick them up. I know we're heading home tonight but it's best for me to get back on a normal schedule with my meds as soon as possible."
"Back on a normal schedule?" Anna repeats, the fact that Robin has been off her normal schedule sinking in and sending fear she'd been trying to tamp down rushing through her at full-speed. She tries not to let her concern show in her voice but, judging from the way Robin looks at her, she fails miserably.
"Yeah," Robin replies. "I didn't want to worry you guys. Dr. Obrecht kept me on my strict cocktail schedule while I was in the clinic." Robin squeezes her eyes shut as if she's blocking something out and Anna wonders what else happened at that clinic. She does not feel sorry she hasn't called local hospitals in an attempt to find Obrecht and determine whether she survived her encounter with Anna. She does however vow that she'll follow up as soon as they have Robin safely home to make sure, if Obrecht is alive, she ends up in prison for an extremely long time.
"Yes," Anna leads, encouraging Robin to continue.
"But, well, Jerry wasn't so fastidious about it." Taking in their worried faces, Robin rushes on. "And I'm sure I'll be fine. It's only been a few days and I'll get all the necessary tests and make adjustments as needed as soon as we get back to Port Charles but for now I need to run to the pharmacy."
Robin's words are meant to be comforting but Anna knows her daughter, can sense the uncertainty that lurks behind the reassurances. Anna decides not to push, to allow Robin her falsehoods for now as Robin often allows Anna hers. Anna hates that it's the only comfort she's able to offer.
"I can do that for you, luv." Robert insists, snatching the paper Robin's holding, which Anna assumes holds the address of the pharmacy.
"Actually," Anna adds, snatching the paper from Robert. "I really ought to do it. The two of you need your rest."
"Anna," Robert warns. Anna reads something in his tone that causes her to rethink. He's been on edge, especially since the call with Emma. This new reveal about Robin's health has sent him spinning.
He'll be okay. He won't fall apart completely, not now that they have Robin back. But he needs a few minutes to gather himself - to be strong in the way he feels he has to be for Robin. Anna won't rob him of that.
"Okay," she relents, handing the sheet of paper back to him. "But don't be too long. We need to be at the airport in..." She glances at her watch, "about three hours."
"The pharmacy is a block away, luv. I think I can make it."
"Last time you left the hotel without me you ended up bound and gagged in a basement," she reminds him.
"Like I'm any safer with you. I seem to recall you leaving me in a similar condition once upon a time."
"Oh, you wish I'd try to do that again," she taunts.
"Ewwww. Mom, Dad," Robin interrupts, making a show of plugging her ears and glaring at the both of him.
"Sorry, sweetheart," Robert apologizes as Anna offers their daughter a sheepish look. "On my way to the pharmacy. I'll be back as soon as I can."
As soon as Robert is out the door, Anna leads Robin over to the bed and sits her down. She grabs a few waters out of the fridge and hands one to Robin before taking a seat beside her.
"Tell me," Anna says. She doesn't specify what. Robin must have a thousand things running through her brain and competing for attention. Anna wants to hear them all.
"It was so great to talk to them. To Patrick and Emma. I just..." Robin swipes at her eyes and takes a deep breath. Anna responds with an arm around Robin's shoulder, pulling her in close. Robin settles her head on Anna's chest and for a moment Anna's transported twenty-five years back, when Robin would still sometimes crawl into Anna's bed at night for comfort. "I ached for them every day. Every single day. And, talking to them now, it was wonderful, but..."
"It's not enough. Of course it's not. But we're going to get you home to them so soon, honey." Anna places a light kiss on Robin's forehead, savors the feel of Robin's closeness, her warmth.
"It's not just that, though. Emma, she sounded so grown up and she was talking a mile a minute. She wanted to tell me everything about her life."
Anna holds her breath for a minute, wondering if Emma let something slip about Patrick dating or something else that could have upset Robin. Surely Patrick would have saved that conversation to have in person if given the choice.
"And there's so much, Mom, so much that I missed. Almost a whole year with my little girl - watching her grow up, dance recitals, school. I even wish I could have been there for the fights, you know? Fights like whether she could wear her tutu and a bathing suit out to lunch at Kelly's. She almost always won that one. I missed those so much."
This Anna knows. Her chest is still heavy with the weight of ten years of lost time and memories, of finding her baby girl had grown into the amazing young woman she's holding right now without her mother. And nothing soothes it, nothing makes it okay.
It's an added weight knowing that just as Anna's entanglement with Faison cost her those ten years with Robin, it's now cost Robin nearly a year with Emma. Anna could drown in it, can feel it crashing toward her. But Robin's weight is steady against her, an anchor reminding her that her daughter needs her now. There will be time for her own guilt later.
"Nothing's going to make it right, sweetie. I'm not saying that. But you're going home and you're going to have so many more years and so many more memories," Anna assures her.
"I know, I know," Robin sniffs one final time then she takes a deep breath, wipes her eyes, and looks up at Anna with a smile on her face. Anna's heart feels broken and mended all at once, looking at this strong girl of hers who is sometimes a little too much like her, a little too quick to push down the fear and pain and put on a brave face.
"You can be sad, though," Anna says gently as she reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Robin's ear.
"No. I have to just move forward. Emma needs me and I have to focus on being her mother, rebuilding my life with her and Patrick."
"Yeah, of course, but if you ever need to be not so strong, I'm going to be there, okay?"
"Mom, I appreciate that. But I'll be okay. I really will. You have to live your life. I'd love to spend time with you but you don't need to stick around Port Charles for me, okay?" Robin's tone is strong but Anna does not miss the way Robin looks down as she speaks. Robin concentrates on her own fingers toying with the edge of the bedspread rather than look Anna in the eye.
It hits Anna like the wind being knocked out of her - all those fears she had after Robin's funeral about Robin's unwillingness to rely on her, the reminder that there's so much of her life now that Robin just doesn't know.
"Well, sweetie, bad news. I'm Police Commissioner in Port Charles now so I'm afraid you're stuck with me."
"What? You're? Really?" Robin questions. There's amazement in Robin's voice but also a warmth that reminds Anna of her daughter's generosity. Robin has a capacity for second, third, and fourth chances. Anna is always certain she is unworthy of them but she is grateful nonetheless. She makes a vow to live up to this one.
"Well, you don't have to be quite so shocked," Anna tosses out, unable to give voice to the chaos in her head, unable to fully express her gratitude without getting lost in her grief along the way.
"No, I'm not. I mean I'm sure you're great at it. Wait, what about Uncle Mac?"
"Oh, he's good with it. The mayor asked me to apply and I wasn't going to do it at all but your Uncle Mac wanted me to. It's a little complicated. I can fill you in on all the details later but I wouldn't do anything to hurt Mac, you know. I really wouldn't," Anna assures her.
"No, of course. I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt Uncle Mac. God, I can't wait to see him. I just never pictured you staying tied to one place like that."
The comment stings, not that Robin meant it to and not because it's inaccurate, but because Robin has no reason to expect Anna to be a steady presence in Emma's life when Anna's so rarely been one in Robin's.
"Well after you... when you were gone I was a little lost and I thought... the only thing I knew I could do was I could be there for Emma. You know, the way I wasn't for you," Anna explains.
"Mom, thank you. Really, it means so much that you were there when I couldn't be."
"Yeah, well, it's been a pleasure. I mean it's been a hard year. Such a difficult year without you," Anna says, pulling Robin closer. "But getting to know Emma better... Oh, I've always known she was wonderful, Robin, but she's just so special and she's been such a joy in my life."
Robin sinks into Anna's hug. She absent-mindedly runs her fingers through the ends of Anna's hair, something she used to do as a child when she was falling asleep. Anna aches with love for that long-gone child but even more for the woman she has become.
"Speaking of your influence on my child, she tells me you're planning to teach her karate."
"She asked," Anna defends against the playful accusation in Robin's tone.
"I appreciate you spending time with her. I'm just not sure I want to weaponize her at such a young age. She's already too much like you."
"She is, isn't she?" Anna asks proudly. "Only the good bits, though. I'm pretty proud of that. She's going to be great at it just like she is at everything else."
"Yeah, she's pretty amazing, my kid," Robin agrees.
"Just as amazing as mine."
"Mom."
"Sorry, but I'm allowed to be mushy and nostalgic. I have you back. Oh," Anna exclaims, her hands flying to her neck to undo the necklace she's been wearing since she found it on the floor of that empty apartment what feels like ages ago. "I can't believe I forgot." She gets the necklace undone and holds it out for Robin to see.
"Wow." Robin holds a hand to her mouth as she looks at the necklace and reaches a finger out to trace the circles. "I didn't think I'd ever see this again."
"I found it while I was... well, it doesn't matter. I've been hanging onto it for you. May I?" Anna asks, gesturing toward Robin's neck.
"Of course." Robin leans forward and pulls back her hair allowing Anna to fit the necklace around her neck and fasten it. When Anna is done, Robin puts one hand to her chest and holds it there tightly - a simple reassurance that something lost has been returned to its rightful place.
"So, speaking of you being nostalgic, what's going on with you and Dad?" Robin inquires.
"Nothing," Anna replies, possibly a bit too quickly and too loudly.
Robin looks up at Anna and narrows her eyes. She's always been far too observant.
"Well, not nothing," Anna corrects. "It's complicated."
"Complicated how?"
"Well, it's your father and I for one. And, well, Duke's alive."
"What? I thought Faison..." Robin's eyes widen with hope.
"Oh, yes, Faison was impersonating him. Clever girl for figuring that out, by the way. It was you who caught on to him wasn't it?"
"Yeah, he didn't remember things that Duke should have known. I wanted to believe Duke could be alive so badly but I just knew something was wrong. But he really is? The real Duke? He's alive?"
"Yeah, yeah. That's how Faison knew so much about Duke. He had Duke locked up and he forced Duke to give him information about our lives together so he could impersonate Duke. And I wasn't as clever as you. I mean I think there was some part of me that always knew but I just wanted to believe so badly. I just needed something good to hang onto, you know? So I fell for it. It was your father, actually, who figured it out."
"Duke's okay though right?" Robin asks. And Anna marvels at the obvious concern she can have for others even with so much going on in her own life.
"Oh, yeah, he's alright and he's going to be so thrilled to see you. Just like I was," Anna adds, kissing Robin on the cheek.
"So Duke is why things are complicated with Dad?"
"No... well, maybe. I honestly haven't seen much of Duke. We'd just found him when your Dad was hurt and when I found out you were still alive. So, I just took off. I couldn't think about anything else until I found you, until I had you back."
"You found me."
"Yeah, I did."
"So, if it's not Duke then what makes it complicated?" Robin persists.
"You do not let a subject drop do you?" Anna's protest is all for show and she suspects Robin knows it. Normally she might object to this line of questioning but it's such a relief to have this stubborn girl of hers grilling her again that she'd probably give up national secrets if Robin asked her to.
"When have you ever known me to give up?" Robin nudges Anna with her shoulder as she asks, as if urging her to hurry up and answer.
"Never. I've never known you to give up. It's one of the things I love most about you. Well, it's just your dad and I... we both handled your death..." Anna stumbles here. There's a disconnect mentioning Robin's death when Robin is sitting here very much alive and breathing in Anna's arms.
Robin looks at her sympathetically, reaches up a hand and trails it along Anna's cheek in comfort.
Anna continues, "We handled you being gone differently and that caused some space between us. I think we've started to close that, though, these past few days."
"Soooo...?"
"Well, then there's Luke."
"Luke Spencer?"
"Yeah. He was really there for me after you'd gone. And we lived together for a while. Not lived together like... we were just friends until we were more than friends which was really very brief because, well, he was kidnapped by this crazy woman and then shot and then I came to Switzerland. He did come after me but that's when he told me he'd lied about... you know, it doesn't matter. It's over now. Pretty much. Maybe... I think."
Robin is looking at her with wide-eyes and Anna is wishing she'd stopped speaking several sentences ago.
"Wow, Mom. Once I've had a chance to spend some time with Emma and Patrick, you and I really need to go to Jake's for a drink and catch up."
"The Floating Rib," Anna corrects.
"What?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Not important," Anna dismissed with a wave of her hand. "And I'd like that. It's going to take more than one drink, though."
"What's going to take more than one drink, luv?" Robert asks as he enters the room, bag of prescriptions in hand.
"Nothing," Anna and Robin answer in unison.
Robert positively beams at them. "Look at that, my two gorgeous girls teaming up to keep the old man out of the loop once again."
"Stop it and get over here," Robin insists, patting the empty space beside her on the bed.
Robert hurries over and occupies the space Robin indicated so that Robin is in the middle of the bed with Robert and Anna on either side. Anna still has one arm around Robin and she reaches out with the other, leans in and pulls both Robin and Robert into a tight hug. There's so much to do, so much to worry about tomorrow. But right now they have their girl and - even if only for a few seconds - everything is perfect.
"I love you guys," Robin whispers.
"We love you more," Anna and Robert answer in unison.
