Heya everyone! Here's a story I've been itching, metaphorically of course, to write. So, Sanosuke and Kenshin, living in a modern world that still uses swords, have known each other for a long time because they were both students of the Hylian-ryū style. Yeah, my friends and I came up with our own mini style of sword fighting, and named it in honor of the great Legend of Zelda. You'll see. Anyway, so they're both currently policemen in the Tokyo police force, who use the Suika-ryū style. I believe it means watermelon or something...So, Saito's the police chief, cause I needed one, so he just got a promotion! Yay for Saito! And Kenshin's tragically out of character, but I had to make him just a bit more witty. I mean, come on, someone has to provoke Sanosuke every five minutes. Well, here ya go!
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or the Legend of Zelda, or Halloween for that matter. I'm just rather bored.
Chapter 1: When Jokes Go Bad
Kenshin Himura froze halfway through picking his injured body up from the wet street in Tokyo, trying to remember. He looked intently at Sanosuke Sagara, whose black eyes, emotionless throughout the fight, suddenly sparked as they used to. Then, he remembered.
5 years ago
"...and as everyone stared at the cold, bloody corpse lying on the ground..," Sanosuke flopped on the ground like he was dead, "it sat up and yelled, 'Today's Halloween you morons!'" With that, he fell back to the light brown carpet of the police headquarters rolling with laughter. Everyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot of Sanosuke's pathetic joke rolled their eyes and began to leave, but stopped and stared at Kenshin, who had just fallen to the floor.
He slowly sat up with his arms out like a zombie's and said raggedly, "Today is Halloween, and the spirits have come and," he took a dragging breath, "taken all the good jokes." His audience began to laugh, then laugh harder as a long, hard object knocked him over. He shot up, rubbing the back of his head and glaring indignantly at the culprit. "Ow! Wha'd you do that for?"
Sanosuke returned his sheathed sword to the rack containing the other policemen's swords, then spun around. "Well why do you always have to steal the spotlight when I'm telling a joke?" he pouted.
Kenshin's bright violet eyes glinted mischievously as he teased, "Oh, you call that pathetic story a joke?"
"Why you little-! Are you looking for a fight?" He took a step towards his sword.
"You know, that hair of yours really fits your temper. Short and rough," Kenshin smirked.
"And that long red hair of yours fits what you'll be seeing in a few minutes," he mocked. "Blood, for a long time, and then the hospital ceiling." Sanosuke added grudgingly, "I still don't know why they let you keep it that long, but make me keep it short."
"Well, I, unlike you, am an excellent fighter, so I, unlike you, can have my hair any way I want it," he returned calmly. "And now you're saying my hair looks like the hospital ceiling?"
"No you-Ah! Just take your sword and let's settle this."
"Sanosuke! Kenshin! Would you two stop having these ridiculous fights? Someone's going to get seriously injured, and our force'll be out a good man," yelled the police chief, Saito Hajime, stopping them just as they got into the Suika-ryū sword-fighting stance.
"If you can call them good men!" someone shouted from the crowd of fellow policemen surrounding the two friends.
"What have I done to deserve this..." Saito muttered to himself as everyone laughed.
Sanosuke begged childishly, "Please chief? We'll take it outside, and no one ever gets hurt. Much," he grinned.
"Yeah chief, really, we're perfectly capable of handling these swords. Watch." Kenshin prepared to toss the sword in the air, but Saito interrupted, trying to stop him.
"Don't! Remember what happened last time you tried it!"
"Aw chief, please? I've been practicing," he whined.
Saito raised an eyebrow in shock. "No way. And no more practicing! Now take it outside!" The crowd returned from their hiding places behind the couches and doors, sighing in relief, then attempted to sneak out after Sanosuke and Kenshin. "Alone."
"Aw, chief," they whined as he left.
"These whiners are the people defending our city," groaned Saito while rubbing his temples.
Outside, under the red-leafed oak tree, Sanosuke and Kenshin got into the Suika-ryū stance: feet shoulder width apart, swords straight up and directly in front of them, then glanced back at the building to make sure no one was watching. A sudden gust of wind blew leaves between the two friends. With the wind came a change of stance: right foot in front of left, back knee bent with their weight mostly on it, swords tipped left and forward, left hand on top of the hand holding the sword. This was the style long kept secret from the world: Hylian-ryū.
"Ah, feels good to be back; that style we have to use on duty really sucks." Sanosuke laughed.
"Oh boy do I know it." Kenshin dramatically looked to the sky. "Thank you Sensei for blessing us with this wonderful knowledge. Rest in peace."
"I think he'd be happier if you'd shut up and used the wonderful knowledge already."
"I'm gonna get him this time," Kenshin thought as he shook his head and prepared himself to fight. He grinned, then pushed off his back leg with surprising force, sending him careening toward Sanosuke head-on. He moved his arm at a god-like speed, rotating the sword so he was suddenly slashing upward. That speed and change of direction would normally catch an opponent's defense off guard, causing them to be unable to block the attack. However, the experienced Sanosuke used his back leg as a spring and flipped forward, high over the speeding cannonball and its weapon. A split-second before landing, he whipped his sword around, just missing Kenshin's side, who had stepped out of the way and turned to attack as soon as he realized that he had failed to hit his target. All of this happened in just a few seconds. Unbeknownst to them, a shadowy figure was watching from the red-leafed oak tree, but in the blink of an eye, it was gone.
Twenty minutes later, the two friends came back into the room where the off-duty policemen were hanging out. In one corner, there was a game of poker, playing for the night shift. In another corner, people were lounged everywhere and anywhere watching television. Sanosuke glanced at Kenshin, saying, "We just worked our butts off for twenty minutes and they're just sitting here getting fat. Jeez."
The cook glanced over at the two in the doorway, and yelled, "They're back! So who won, guys?"
Casting knowing looks at each other, they said, "Tie. We got hungry."
"Of course, those two stop fighting for food and food alone. Doughnuts?" he offered.
Eating his doughnut, Kenshin asked, "So. We miss anything?"
"Well, we've read some stuff in the newspaper about the fights between those two political groups." A man said.
"Oh that crap again? Isn't that all just talk to make them seem like they're dedicated? I mean, has anyone actually seen these so called fights?" asked Sanosuke while getting his third doughnut.
"I have." Saito spoke up from his seat in front of the TV. Everyone gathered around the comfortable recliner, eager to hear his story. "Hey, better doors than windows."
"Chief, you just told us you had a story. Now you're not going to tell us?" Kenshin frowned.
Sanosuke reached back and turned the TV off. "Problem solved, now talk!"
"Sanosuke, wipe your mouth."
"Sure, mom," the messy eater mocked as he complied.
"Fine," Saito saw he should've just ignored them, but it was too late for that now. "Just don't talk, Sanosuke. So, I had heard some rumors that the two sides were sending one shinobi each-."
"What's a shinobi?" one new recruit asked.
"A ninja, stupid. So, they were sending one shinobi each to 'discuss' something pertaining to their territory."
" 'Discuss' my butt. They were going to fight!" interrupted Sanosuke.
"Silence. Anyway, I went to go see what was going on, because you normally don't send fighters to talk, you send them to fight, as Story-Ruiner here said." Sanosuke grinned cockily and bowed deeply. "Of course, they fought, but neither one lived, because there were men in the trees from both sides with the orders to kill the opposing shinobi if they won." The men looked at each other with raised eyebrows. "Soon, the fighting won't be just rumors. It'll be public and wide-spread, and will probably drag many people into it needlessly. In my opinion, it's not actually political, that's just a cover for yakuza groups to take power. Oh and there's one more thing. They're looking for assassins, and this police station is the perfect place to get some, so think wisely about what you do. That goes for those of you who can," with a meaningful glance at Sanosuke.
"If yakuza still exist," said Sanosuke dubiously. "I still say it's all just a ploy to make people support them. What do you think, Kenshin, my oh-so-intelligent colleague?"
Kenshin didn't even look up from writing in his journal while saying, "Don't hate me because I'm smarter than you. Remember what happened last time you started that, you ended up hating almost everyone you met."
Sanosuke, obviously frustrated with the recurring humiliations, yelled over the laughter, "Answer the question!"
"Fine. I'll humor you." He glanced up while chuckling, seeing his friend's countenance turn to that I'm-going-to-get-you-for-that look, then resumed a thoughtful air. "Well, if he saw it, then it had to have happened as he said. However, I've done some searching of my own about it, and I've concluded that the two groups' views, however different, don't seem like how the yakuza usually think, they seem like actual political groups. After Chief's story though, I don't really know what's going on."
The group of policemen fell into silence, even the boisterous Sanosuke, and pondered all they had just heard. Suddenly, the thoughtful silence was broken by a messenger running into the room, yelling, "Chief, there's a fight by Kikai Jibustsu!"
Saito looked around the room for potential candidates, and his eyes landed on Sanosuke and Kenshin. "Hey, since you two are already warmed up, you go handle it."
They wearily saluted, "Sir," and left.
Hope you guys liked it! Please review and tell me any parts you think could be better, I really appreciate it!