A/N: Hi everybody! Sorry about 'May the Odds be in the Favour of the Fallen' not updating but if eclipsed flower doesn't write the next chapter within the week, I'll take over from it. Meanwhile have this cracktastic fic which I'll update monthly.

Board Games are Anything but Boring

1. Risk

Unsurprisingly Risk was the first game banned from World Meetings, however the reason was not one that one would usually suspect. It started when America brought the game into the Conference Room.

'Dudes, look what I found while cleaning the storage! Let's play!'

England immediately leapt at the opportunity.

'Ha! I'll recreate the British Empire in a board game!'

Italy had other ideas:

'No, Romano and I will expand Grandpa Rome's Empire!'

'That's right, bastards!'

'My empire was far larger than the Roman Empire ever was,' China declared. 'Now I'll just take over the rest of the world.'

'No, everyone will become one with me, da?'

Everyone shivered.

'Ahahahaha, bro, lets team up and show everyone the might of America!'

'You mean North America?'

'That's what I said!'

'Ohonhonhon~I will Napoleon all of you,' France said while looking meaningfully at England.

'Ve, Germany, are you going to join us?'

'No, I think I'll sit this out,'

'Aww, West! You're no fun! Alright guys, I'm joining my un-awesome brother in sitting this out.'

'But there one more place left...' Italy pointed out.

'Hey, Zea! No harm in us playing, right?' Australia asked.

New Zealand shook his head mock disapprovingly.

'Play by yourself,'

'Alright!'

The game was ready to begin.

'If this gets out of hand, I will not hesitate to shoot anyone,' Switzerland warned, loading his beloved gun. Meanwhile Hungary was setting up a betting pool in which most of the nations not playing were already betting in.

Each nation started from their respective countries.

Hours of intense battle strategy and references to historic battles later-Australia won.

'Ha! This is what you get for saying my only use is as an early stronghold in Risk, I kick all your arses at it!' He crowed at his bewildered opponents.

Among the other nations, moneybags changed hands, with New Zealand smugly reaping in most of the benefits.

America brought the game into the next ten meetings, Australia won every time.

After that, it was banned.

2. Scrabble

'Frog you spelt that word wrong!'

'Oh? I beg to differ, Angleterre, that is the French spelling,'

'Y-you-,' England spluttered.

'We did decide that words of any language could be used,' Switzerland-who was adjudicating-pointed out while making a not-so-subtle move towards his gun.

Engliand grumbled but didn't say anything.

'Hey Allemagne, no way is there a word that long...'

'Sehenswürdigkeiten is a word,' Germany protested. 'And it's not even the longest, that one has sixty letters in it.'

'Sure...'

'I can confirm that is a German word meaning sights,' Switzerland said in irritation. 'Now get back to the game!'

Moments later the game was interrupted again.

'Are you sure that's a word, Italy?' Switzerland asked in bewilderment.

'Nope, but it's poetic license~' Italy replied.

'Take it back,'

Italy quickly obeyed that order before Switzerland began to shoot at anyone.

'China, you can just randomly join up letters with whatever random letters you have,' England said indignantly.

'Well it just so happens that zhinanzhen means compass in Chinese, Ahen,'

Switzerland sighed.

'I don't know Chinese so could Hong Kong and Taiwan please come over here and read this,'

'That doesn't look righ-'

Taiwan punched Hong Kong in the arm before he could finished the sentence.

'It does means compass,' she said.

'Oh, I was imagining it in Cantonese,' Hong Kong smirked. 'My bad.'

After England and America got into one too many arguments in the "correct spelling of words", Switzerland had had enough. Firing a blank into the air and yelling at the Scrabble-playing nations.

'That's it; from now on this game is banned! Understand?'

'Didn't anyone notice that my turn was always skipped?' Canada moaned.
'

Who are you?' asked Kumajiro.

'I'm Canada,' sighed Canada.

3. Chess

When England and Germany reached the end of the corridor that led to the Conference Room, they expected to be the first ones there as usual. However when they opened the doors, an unexpected scene caused them to freeze.

America and Russia were already in the room. Seemingly having a staring contest. Over an intense, but rather static game of chess.

Finally America moved a bishop. Then the staring contest continued.
'This is like the Cold War all over again,' England groaned.

'We really should put chess on the banned games list,'

'Agreed,'

4. Monopoly

No one knew what inspired France to bring a game of Monopoly to a World Meeting. What they did know was that everyone wanted to play the family favourite. After a lengthy argument over who got what token (settled by Switzerland and his trusty gun) a rather chaotic game began.

After long hours, the result of that game prompted England to demand a rematch at the next meeting.

The results of the rematch were the same, as were the ones for the match after that and the match after that and so on.

However it did provide an answer as to why France had brought it in the first place, as he won each time.

The Netherlands always provided fierce competition; the incorrigibly stingy businessman against a nation who'd been running the EU for several decades.

Arguably Germany would've probably won all of the games-if he hadn't kept lending money to Italy.

Either way, Switzerland soon figured France out and had Monopoly banned

5. Snakes and Ladders

How does one managed to a friendly, moral teaching game such as Snake and Ladders banned? Easy, have England hex the dice.

'For God's sake! I didn't do anything to the dice!'

'Why does France keep falling down the snakes then? And especially on the snake for excessive vanity?'

'I'm not doing anything to the dice! Keep playing and you'll see,'

'England...'

'What!? I'm not doing anything, France is halfway up the board,'

'You know what I'm talking about, Spain keeps landing in the "pride comes before a fall" snake,'

'You're just imagining things,'

'So I'm imagining the subtle alternation of America landing on the "gluttony", "sloth" and "disrespecting elders snakes"?'

'Yes, you definitely are, Switzerland. Look Spain just went up a ladder and-America, how did you roll a six!?'

'England!'

'May I ask what is it that I am supposed to have done this time? It isn't about France, Spain or America again is it?'

'Germany. For the last four turns he's landed on the "ambition brings sorrow" snake, that's just not nice England. Also Prussia's just landed on the "misbehaviour" snake again.'

really?

'I'm sure it's just a coincidence, it probably won't happen again,'

'ENGLAND!'

'What? No one's repetitively fallen off a snake or anything, so what did I do?'

'Don't think I haven't noticed your "luck" with the ladders,'

'I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, it seems that I've won.'

'That's it! If you can't play fairly, then this game is banned!'

England smirked, it'd been worth it, even if he did need to be more specific the next time he hexed the dice against "that Kraut".

6. Chinese checkers

'Who wants to play Chinese Checkers?' China asked, displaying a board with triangles of colourful pegs. 'Seeing as none of you really know the rules, how about you all play against me one by one.'

The nations agreed that it was a good idea and Switzerland got ready to adjudicate.

America went first, only to suffer a humiliating defeat. England followed him, hoping to rub the defeat in further by winning, he also lost. One by one the world faced China as he gleefully crushed them (after all, having several thousand years' advantage over them), the Asian nations held off for longer, but even they could not beat China.

'Who's up for a rematch?' China asked in a far too innocent tone.

Everyone groaned.

'I propose that we ban this game,' America ventured, and for once the majority was in agreement with him.

7. Pictionary

When Italy brought Pictionary into a meeting, every decided it was worth a try-even if the drawing skills of some nations weren't particularly up to scratch.

'How on earth is that supposed to be an aeroplane, Australia?'

'Easy, it's a front on picture, so those are the two wings and that's the cockpit in the middle,'

'It just looks like a UFO...'

Despite all the mistaken guesses, the game was proving to be harmless and quite fun.

That was until it was France's turn to draw...

'Arggggghhhhh!'

'What did my eyes just see?'

'Jerk England,' Sealand-who'd snuck into the meeting again-whined. 'Why are you covering my eyes, I wanna seeeeeeeeeeeee!'

'What is that man doing to that that lady?' Italy asked curiously. Germany, who'd already flushed when France showed the picture, went even redder and muttered something incomprehensible.

'Kesesese! That's fine art you have there!' Prussia cackled. Unsurprisingly he was then beaten over the head by Hungary's frying pan.

'I don't understand,' said Spain. 'How are they doing that?'

How indeed, that couple was doing what they were doing, we may never know, as Switzerland returned to the room after escorting Lichtenstein out with his hands over her eyes. Judging from his livid expression, Pictionary was going straight to the banned games list.

8. Battleship

'Britannia rules the waves! You face your defeat against the might of the British Empire!' England crowed as he crushed Spain's 'armada' for the eleventh time that meeting.

'Doesn't Mum remember that there's no British Empire anymore?' Australia asked New Zealand, who merely shrugged.

'I demand a rematch!' Spain cried, a dangerous glint in his eyes, contrasting the dejected slump he'd sunken deeper into each time he lost the game. It seemed that he'd finally been pushed to his limits. England, for one, did not miss that glint.

'Of course,' he replied, an equally dangerous edge in his voice.

So it was no surprise when Spain pulled a battle axe from thin air after he lost yet again, neither was it a surprise that England countered the swing Spain took at his head with a slash from a broadsword also pulled from thin air. The other nations retreated a safe distance away from the fighting duo, where they watched and made bets. Recognising that the two nations really just needed to fight it out, Switzerland simply left the room with Liechtenstein, calling back as the door closed:

'Good luck dealing with them by yourselves!'

Which lead to a muffled groan from Germany, who'd already been facepalming.

Meanwhile, Spain swung his axe at England's legs, England jumped before attempting to slice Spain's throat open, only to be blocked by the handle of the axe. England decided his next move would be an attempt to sever Spain's sword-umm axe-hand, but before he could he had to dodge another blow from the battle axe. And so they continued, slashing and swinging, ducking and dodging, around and under the table, it was a kind of deadly tango.

Finally both of them collapsed from exhaustion without even landing a single blow on each other.
Needless to say, the game of Battleship disappeared from the conference room after that meeting and was never seen again.

9. Twister

When a mega-sized game of Twister was found in the conference room storage cupboard, no one thought much of it, but most were happy to play when the meeting became unproductive and boring as most meetings were.

Several minutes into the game, the most astute were beginning to form a contention on who had left the game on the table.
While most were doing their best to avoid unnecessary contact, France had other ideas...

'Y'u're t'uch'ng m'w'fe,' Sweden glared at France.

'That was the only blue dot I could see!'
The next time the wheels were spun for France , (left foot, red dot) he took the opportunity to get into a gather compromising situation with England.

'Ohonhonhonhonhonhon~Mon Cherie,'

'Bloody hell, Frog! I'd punch you right now if I could only move my arms!'

Unfazed, France merely moved his face closer to England's and grinned as the other nation almost lost his balance attempting to jerk away. France's next move was to brush up against Italy's legs, who didn't seem to notice that it wasn't an accident. Romano, however, did, only he didn't realise it was France.

'CHIGI! Damn Tomato Bastard! Don't touch me!'

France chuckled to himself and moved on, his next twist revealing that Liechtenstein did in fact wear lacy bloomers underneath her skirts.

Spin

A glare from Prussia warned France away from lifting up his 'precious little brother's shirt. A shame really, France had wanted to see for himself the muscles that Italy had told him about. Nobody noticed when he lifted up America's shirt though.

Spin

France had two choices, Hungary or Ukraine, Hungary would probably catch him and pull out her frying pan, so France just angled himself to get a better view of Ukraine's large tracts of land.

Spin

During the last couple of spins Japan had (mistakenly) moved closer to France, who took the opportunity of moving his right hand to do a quick bit of groping.

Spin

'Aiiiiiiyaaaaah, aru! Who pinched my bottom?' China's screech finally alerted Switzerland (the wheel spinner) to the underhand molestation happening right under his nose.

What happened nested could be summed up as, France fleeing the conference room as shot after shot was fired at him and the game of Twister being burnt before the List of Banned Games was updated with TWISTER written in massive capital letters.

10. Chinese chess
'Who wants to play Chinese chess?' China asked.

'Noooooooooo!' Everyone shouted, remembering the last time China had brought in a game.

Thus, Chinese chess was banned before it had ever even been played.

Notes:

Risk

Did anyone see that one coming? I bet you all thought it'd be Russia or England...but I read in a parody travel guide somewhere that 'the only use of Australia nowadays is as an early stronghold in a game of Risk' and couldn't resist.

Scrabble

There are probably more amusing words in other languages, but I just used words in languages that I know.

Hong Kong was trolling China because compass in in Cantonese sounds more like ji lam jum than zhi nam zhen

Chess

someone described the Cold War as 'a game of chess between the United States and Russia' and naturally I couldn't resist

Monopoly

Pretty self explanatory

Snakes and Ladders

eclipsed flower says she never seen anything like it before but my game of snakes and ladders apparently aimed to teach morals to young children. At the squares at the bottom of the ladders there would be illustrations of people doing good deeds with their reward for those deeds at the top of the ladders, it was the opposite for the snakes, on the box's lid there were captions for the the illustrations; which I've included in the fic.

Chinese checkers

China can be awesome sometimes

Pictionary

Just putting it out there that's Australia's drawing was very confusing, not only was it shaped like a UFO, the (badly drawn) pilot he drew in the cockpit just looked like an alien and didn't help his case.

Battleship

Overused idea I know, and I apologise for the terrible battle choreography

Twister

What used did you expect would happen? *shudder* I felt like such a pervert (France) while writing that.

Chinese Chess

Everyone hates it when China shows them up xD

(it seems England and France are having a contest to see who can get the most games banned)

Please review and tell me your thoughts!