Chapter 1! (Bella's POV!)

Completely my fault!

I'd never really taken the time to think about my relationship with my brother, Eric. I never really noticed how much I appreciate how he taught me how to be, and who was good for me and who wasn't.

Whenever my parents couldn't he would. Such as boy advice; my mother, Renee, was too busy with her job and the bills. While my father, Charlie, was on, yet, another mysterious case, as the head of police, and would hardly ever have enough time to speak to us about anything. So Eric was the one who told me about the "Birds and the Bees" and how far was too far! He taught me how to fight, "Defense only", were his words. From the time I was able to walk and talk, to the time I was 13 years old, he taught me everything I know.

Eric resembled Charlie; tall, dark black hair, brown eyes, but acted like Renee; energetic, wild, erratic. While I was a photo copy of my mother; 5'6, average weight, long/medium wavy light brown with a red tint to it hair, and round, dark brown almond eyes. But then acted like Charlie; quiet, shy, suffer in silence type, straight to the point! Like I said never really given, much thought about how much I loved my older brother, Eric Swan . . . until it was too late.

Flashback!

"No Jared!" I panted as my boyfriend of three years, Jared Mason, tried to un-button my jeans. "I'm not ready and you know it."

He growled in frustration. "Come on, Bella. Listen, your brother is out with his girlfriend, while your parents went out to look on that piece on that chick's murder case." He seemed to smile and the thought of that. "So . . . we don't have to worry about getting caught or into trouble."

I glared at him, reaching for my shirt. "That's not why, Jared." I huffed as I pulled the silk over my head.

"Then what is it?"

"I'm thirteen!" I shrieked as if it were obvious. "I'm 13; I'm saving that for someone that's the right one." I reasoned smoothing out the midnight blue halter.

"And what, I'm not that person?" I didn't look up, knowing he would be pissed and probably hit me like last time. "It's been three years and I'm still not the one?!"

His grip on my arms tightened. "Ouch!" I winced as he got even tighter, "Yes! Im only 13 I can't possibly be in love!"

He was quiet, except for his heavy, ragged breathing, for a moment. "Fine," his voice didn't sound like MY Jared, "if you're not going willingly…" He held up his hand as he spoke and snapped his fingers, "…then I'll just have to force you!"

Suddenly his friends, Alex, Derek, and James, were in my room. I went to scream but Alex quickly out his hand over my mouth, while James grabbed my arms; pinning them against my headboard. Derek grabbed my legs, making my knees lock. Alex removed his hand from my mouth, at my first, and probably my only, chance I let it out. I screamed so loud, it echoed off of the walls of my room and pierced anyone's ears within a 5-mile-radius. Jared had removed all his clothes and covered my lips with his; thus muffling my scream. As he continued, I felt hands on my waist, and the grasp my jeans had on my hips loosened as did my underwear. I cried as they both came down to my ankles. As Alex put his hand back over my mouth, Jared removed my shirt and bra, tears spewed over my cheeks 'this is it,' I thought, 'this is how I'm going to lose my innocence and may be even my life.'

Just then, as Jared inserted himself into me-breaking my barrier with one hard push-causing me to cry harder and scream louder into Alex's hand, my door flung open. "Bella?" Eric's voice rang through my ears! I glanced over at him; his eyes locked with mine, no doubt seeing the fear, shock, and betrayal in them. He suddenly growled at the boys in question. "Jared?" he asked through clenched teeth. Both of their eyes locked. "Boys?" He carefully glanced at each one.

"Eric?" They all said in sync, glaring at him with nothing but hatred. Jared had pulled on his boxers and jeans, and I saw the sun glint off something metal, silver-ish.

I gasped as realization hit me like a ton of bricks. "Eric!" I screamed, as Jared pulled out a pistol and pulled the trigger. After that the entire event went in slow motion; the bullet hit Eric in the forehead, his blood splattered all over my door, the carpet-mom was going to be SO pissed!- the stair banister, the wall behind him, and the pictures that held its harmony. His head went backward and his knees gave in; therefore he toppled backward.

Jared and the boys all jumped out my window, but not without a warning. Alex took out a knife and sliced my stomach open, saying, "You tell anyone what happened here and you too will die!" he said menacingly, "got it?"

I clutched my stomach, ran down stairs, screaming and crying into the phone as the police assured me to be there soon. About five minutes later the ambulance, police, and my parent, were all in the front yard. The last thing I remember before the blackness came; was Renee's face when she saw her one and only sons, stiff, lifeless, body lying in front of my bedroom door.

End flashback!!

Everything was black, and dark, though I could hear everything, including this, beyond annoying, 'BEEPING' sound.

"Renee, she's going to be fine." I heard Charlie tell my mother.

What? I'm going to be ok? What about Eric? What happened to him?

"I know." She let out a strangled sob.

What about Jared and his gang? Where they caught?

"Mmmmm," I groaned, just to let them know I was okay. I blinked. . .blinked. . .and then blinked again. Renee leaned into my view, I grimaced. Her smile was weak, her eyes drooped, and under them were dark purple circles. Her hair was matted and oily.

"Bella, honey?"She asked her voice groggy and full with tears as were her eyes.

"Mom?" I asked, she nodded, sadly. "Where. . .where is he? Wheres. . .Eric?" I sighed the words as best as I could.

Her face dropped, her tears fell rapidly down her cheeks onto the cover. Charlie wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug, muffling her sobs. As he looked down at me, I saw tears cascading, silently, down his face. I tried to decipher what they were trying to tell me. Was what happened real? Did Jared really kill Eric?

"I can't. . .believe he's. . .gone." Renée sobbed out, her voice breaking even more as she said the last word.

My vision blurred. "Gone?" my voice broke as the tears flowed over my eyelids. I held in my sobs as much as possible. When I had to breathe, I took a deep breath and winced. My stomach, Alex really did cut me. How deep? How long was I out? "I'm s-s-o s-s-sorry-y, mom," I gasped, pulling in quick, short breaths trying not to injure myself further. They both looked at me with looks that said ' why-are-you-sorry?'

"Bella…it's not your fault, ok?" Charlie answered. "You were sliced too, you know." He paused. "Do you have any idea who did it though?" he looked at me pleadingly.

I thought about what Alex told me! My life, plus my parents could be in jeopardy if I open my mouth and say something like:

'Yea dad, Jared, Alex, James, and Derek were all in my room. Jared tried, no wait, successfully raped me! Eric walked in, interfered, Jared shot him and Alex sliced me in the stomach and made a break for it.'

'No! No way am I telling them that.' I thought. I looked ruefully up at my parents. "This guy came into the house, I was in my room, reading, Eric was out on his date with Kimmie. I didn't hear the door open or close." I took a breath. "Long story short, he came into my room . . . r-raped me!" Renée gasped and I'm sure Charlie saw somewhere along the lines of red. "Eric came home early, heard something, I guess. He opened my door, the guy jumped off of me and stared at Eric before he picked up a, I think, a pistol, aimed it at Eric and pulled." I explained never looking up at their faces. "He then turned to me and said, 'If you tell anyone," and pulled out a knife and sliced my stomach,"- I flinched as I touched the bandage that wrapped around my torso- "he looked at me and finished by saying, "I'll go deeper with you and your family.' He left out my bedroom window. I got up and ran downstairs and called the police. They got there five minutes later and I was beside Eric, naked, and my blood running down my legs and stomach." I slowly lifted my head to my parents. Charlie was gripping the railings on the hospital bed, his eyes full of tears as he looked down at me. I glanced at Renée; she gazed at sympathetically at me, tears streamed down her face as I reached out to grab her hand. Charlie cleared his throat, I looked back at him.

"I-I'm…going to need…a, uh, d-description…of the guy that d-did this t-to you b-b-both-th." He struggled to keep the anger and sobs in as he spoke his words.

I tried to smile at his effort. "Green eyes, black hair with red tips, dark skinned, tannish, early 20's late teens, bout 6'2, really ripped in the chest area. I didn't get a good look at his face, cause of the ski mask he was wearing." I looked at them apologetically. "I'm sorry…" tears slipped out of my eyes, "it's my entire fault!" I broke down into sobs, clutching my stomach.

"No it's not!" Renée snapped. I just shook my head sadly, Charlie just growled in response.

If I had said yes to Jared, if I had said yea to having sex with him, Eric would still be here. I would still have the chance of having a nephew or niece in the future. Kimmie would have her boyfriend, which she loved, I'd have my big brother, that was my one and only best friend and teacher, and my parents would have their son and daughter. My parents. My parents were wrong…Eric's death was completely and utterly my fault.