A/N: This is just a quick one shot that I thought of in the middle of the night. First Fic. Please read and review! If I get good feedback I might write a story about the excuse. :)

Tony's Excuse

Fury stood in his room, his eye closed. The hum of the helicarrier was a peaceful one through the layers of metal. It calmed him. The sweet hum was the sound of order, of smooth-sailing. Smooth-sailing was always good, especially for a spy. Things got too bad too fast in this line of work.

A knock sounded at the door. The hard knock overpowered the hum, shattering the peace scattering the remains to god(s) know where. Fury growled, stomping over to the door. There's no rest for a spy, even a semi-retired-to-the-life-as-a-director one. Fury opened to door, his face now in an all out scowl. He expected someone important with important news. Not a trembling agent with a thin folder in hand.

He was obviously a new recruit, someone who was yet a veteran to the director's…well… fury. He stood at attention in the middle of the doorway. Sweat trickled down the side of his face, knees trembled, threatening to collapse beneath the man. His eyes were wide, his hand addressed Fury with a shake-y salute.

"What is it?" Nick spit out toward the fresh meat, putting his very soul into the act of fury.

"I-I- I mean- W-We re-received this from Iron Man-" The man took forever to sputter out the message, fumbling around with the files in his hand, trembling as he handed them to Fury.

"What is this?" Fury grabbed the files away from the man.

"A-A letter or something, sir. W-We aren't entirely sure-" Fury didn't even let the man finish. He closed the door. A rude thing to do- he knew- but he was sick of listening to the man stutter out every other word.

Fury opened the file and began reading, ignoring the sudden thud coming from the other side of the door. The agent had collapsed. But to Fury, the inside of that file was more interesting than the outside of his room.

Inside was a couple pages of a letter, yes, a formal written letter, from the infamous Tony Stark. It was addressed to him.

"Dear Director Nick Fury,

I write this letter to bring to your attention the fact that I will be submitting my paper work a full week late. I am quite sorry for this delay. But unfortunately, I have run into a difficulty with the paper work, that is, I assure you, to no fault of my own.

You see, due to the insistence of Pepper and Bruce combined I actually finished my paperwork the day you handed it over to me with that little frown on your face. I did a good job with it too. My handwriting was nice and neat, my grammar and spelling was all correct, and I didn't put in any smiley faces (just like you asked!).

I was so proud of my work in fact, that I went to go brag to the Capsicle about it. I went into the gym, expecting to encounter a big, sweaty, smelly Steve Rogers hurting some poor innocent punching bag. Unfortunately, that was not the sight that greeted me. Instead, what greeted me was an unconscious body of a big, sweaty, smelly Steve Rogers lying on the floor with a horde of flying carrots over him. Of course, I screamed and dropped my precious paperwork on the ground. The horde turned , took one look at me, and then disappeared in CA's body.

I was too terrified to move as CA suddenly rose from the ground and started toward me. His eyes were a bright orange and his hair was starting to turn a bit green. At first he moved slowly, but then started to pick up speed.

Now, at that time, I currently did not have my Iron Man suit on me, so I did the only sane thing to do. I picked up my paper work and ran for the hills. I had just gotten to the elevator when, well what do ya know, Thor stepped out of it hammer in hand! There was something kind of off about him though. Quickly I figured out that he, too, had been taken over by an alien carrot horde. How could I tell? Easy. I'm a genius. That and his eyes were bright orange too (Unfortunately his hair had stayed the same).

I turned around, ready to head in the other direction, when, hey! Cap was blocking my exit! He was starting to drool a bit too.

Anyway. There I was, stuck between zombie god or zombie patriot, both closing in on me. I did the most logical thing that popped into my head. I curled up into a ball, clutching the paperwork to my chest, and screamed. Then fainted. Not intentionally of course. The zombies must have had me under a spell or something.

So I woke up about, I dunno, two hours later, tied to a chair, with both of the zombies just standing there, staring at me. Thor was holding my paper work in his right hand. They were completely silent. I didn't dare say a word. Might die from that ya know. It was then that I realized that I was tied up in the middle of a carrot field. Nothing but carrots for miles around.

So we sat around from about ten minutes or so, when Cap finally spoke up.

"We got what we came for. Put the Avengers back in their chambers; remove all memories of our visit from their minds." He said. Normally too, something I totally didn't expect.

I then blacked out again. Don't know what happened. All I know is that I woke up with Pepper poking at my face telling me to wake up. I had been missing for 5 days! My paperwork was gone, obviously taken by the aliens. Don't bother asking Cap and Thor. Their minds were erased. I dunno how mine got away scot free. Must be the genius bit that protected me.

Anyway. It's gonna take me a week to get back to your paper work. Missed a lot of meetings blacked out. I learned one though- do your paperwork correctly, and aliens will take it.

-Tony"

Fury sat on his bed. Unsure of what just happened. Was this really the best Tony could think of? An Alien Carrot Horde? Tony must have been more into drugs than Fury thought. He couldn't believe that Tony ACTUALLY thought that he would believe this crap. He tossed the letter on his bed. The more he thought about it, the more furious he got.

That's what started his raving rampage up to the control room; stepping over the still unconscious body of the new agent, pushing aside everyone huddled around him, and screaming at everyone he crossed paths with.

Oh. Tony was going to get it for this one.