It was a beautiful day on Destiny Islands. The sun was shining with endless effort, the birds were chirping happily, the people ran about with their cheery attitudes, and the wind swayed the ocean and trees into a relaxing melody.
Riku sat up, yawning. It was the second week of his "real" summer vacation, seeing as he and Sora had to spend their last summer catching up on school work that they had missed in the time that they had spent away. It had been a real bother, especially for Riku who had fallen a year behind (because he used to be a year ahead of the others), but he hadn't complained about getting to spend time with his friends.
Kairi and Wakka usually helped the most, while he and Sora spent time at each other's houses doing insane amounts of school work. At first they had been busy day and night, but eventually the work lifted, and by the end of the summer they finally had a few days of fun before school started again.
That had been a year ago. Catching up 2 years in 2 months hadn't been fun, but it had been something…Now that Riku was 18, and out of High School, his world had considerably dulled.
At first it had been fine. He could get along with the rest of the people (somewhat), and his friendship with Kairi and Sora was almost like it had been before the darkness had struck. It had been impossible for the people on the Island not to really know what happened, seeing as (according to Kairi) there were quite a few people who's hearts hadn't been taken by the Heartless and could remember everything. Riku also knew those who didn't know him well hated him, but he could ignore them too.
Then, as the school year passed by, Sora and Kairi became a couple. That too, was inevitable, seeing as they had always seemed destined to be a couple, despite all of Sora and Riku's competitions. Riku hadn't minded that either…or did he?
Ring, ring!
Riku snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the phone. Quickly getting up and walking to his desk, he picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Riku?"
"Oh, hey Sora. What's up?"
"Uh, Kairi wanted me to phone you. You do remember today is Selphie's birthday right? She wants me to go with her to buy her a "decent present for once", or so she says." Riku could imagine the "ick" expression that would be on Sora's face, and lightly chuckled. "Do you think you could come with me? I don't think I can stand being in a mall with her shopping for her best friend alone…"
"I probably can." Even if he did have work, he could always find a way to bend his schedule for Sora and Kairi. "It'll have to be a bit later though, seeing as I have work. What time?"
"Well the party starts at 4PM, so maybe at 2…?"
"Sure thing, Sora. I'll meet you at the mall then."
"Thanks Riku! Oh, I need to go now, Kairi's calling me.."
"She's at your house?"
"Yeah—Look, sorry but I really have to go. See you then!"
"Okay, By—" But before Riku could even finish his sentence, Sora had hung up.
"….." Riku stood there, staring at the phone for a while, before putting it back down. Sora did this a lot before, so why did it matter now? It shouldn't…
It doesn't matter. Riku thought. Shaking his head slightly, he changed and prepared to go to work, leaving like house empty of human presence.
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Sighing, Riku stood at the entrance of the mall, waiting for the spotlight couple of the Island. Ignoring the occasional glares from other islanders, he let his unusual emerald eyes trail to the sky.
It's so blue… Riku thought, Just like Sora's eyes. An endless field of blue…
"Rikuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Riku turned to see Sora running up to him, one hand holding Kairi's as the other waved enthusiastically to him.
Smirking, Riku decided to tease the couple again. "Hey, where have you two been? Busy making out?"
To his surprise, the couple actually blushed a deep red. "Heh heh heh…How'd you guess?" Sora chuckled, embarrassed.
"You have?" Riku accidentally slipped out, his heart twitching painfully. He quickly covered up his slip. "Had fun, I bet. But keep your sex lives—" He ignored Sora's sudden choke and Kairi's cry of his name, "—to yourselves. Not everyone wants to know about it."
"Riku!" Kairi cried, blush ever present on her face, "We get the point, can we please go shop now?"
"Yeah…Idon'tthinkthisissomethingthepublicshouldhear!" Sora mumbled rapidly.
Riku chuckled. "Sure, where are we going first?"
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6 hours later, the three of them sat in Selphie's house. Or rather, Riku sat while the others were dancing and cheering. Tidus had challenged Sora to a DDR match, which had resulted in a tournament of sorts. Selphie and her other friends (Riku couldn't remember their names) had already lost, and Sora, who surprisingly good at the game, was now facing off Kairi. The other males present, who weren't chatting about Blitzball, were watching the dance off.
Riku was sitting there alone.
It wasn't that he was just…alone, but he just didn't like doing what the rest were doing. Or so he told himself. It was okay, wasn't it?
Riku turned to look at the clock. It was only 8 'o clock…They had spent 3 hours buying presents, 2 hours eating, 1 hour with the cake, and now they all planned to party the whole night. They were all so happy…
He couldn't stand it. They were all happy, so happy, just too happy. Why didn't he feel the same way? He was around his friends, so why wasn't he happy?
Standing up, Riku turned towards his friends. "I have a few things I need to finish up at home, so I'll leave now. Have fun, you guys." And with that, he turned and left the house.
He never got a reply.
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It was early in the morning, just 4 'o clock. Most teenagers his ages would be sleeping in right now, unless they had somewhere they needed to go to this early.
He didn't. He was just standing there, on his rather large balcony, staring the small island where they used to play, waiting for the sun to rise.
Not that he wanted it to.
Sometimes he wondered why he had taken Sora's hand, why he had returned to the place he used to call home. Sure, he had missed it, but…If he felt more comfortable in the darkness, why did he come?
For Sora, he reminded himself. I would do anything for Sora.
Riku frowned. Ansem, or rather, Xehanort had always said Sora would be his downfall. My one major downfall, he always says. Not that Sora knew that, or the fact that the annoying darkness-obsessed voice could still talk to him. Just another thing he had hidden from the world…
It wouldn't do him any good even if he did tell anyone, anyway. His parents were never home, busy with their business on the central island, where the most people lived. Riku didn't really understand why they needed the money, seeing as they already had one of the most expensive houses on this island. What he did know, however, was that it wasn't the only reason why they were never home. He hadn't ever gotten along with them well, but after his return with Sora….that only helped to make them ashamed of him more. He was lucky to even stay in this house, considering their explosive reactions to him being gay.
Sometimes Riku wished they didn't have this money. Then he would probably be in a house, closer to his friends…
"And what good are they?"Xehanort's voice asked. "Why do you care about them so much when they don't even care about you?"
Of course they care about me, Riku replied angrily.
"Caring means ignoring you huh?" Xehanort bit back sarcastically. Riku bit his lip, but had no reply. "Just admit it, and stop caring in return. You're wasting your life in this feeble place of light. Submit to your inner urges and return to the Darkness instead."
Shut up. I don't need to listen to you. Riku proceeded to ignore the voice and walked back into the empty house. But he couldn't help but catch on to Xehanort's one last comment.
"Empty, just like you."
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Time had passed at an aggravating slow-yet-quick pace, and Riku's daily routine of hated glares and solitude would soon be broken by Sora's "Reunion" party. Sora, or rather, Sora and Kairi thought it was important to celebrate the day Sora and Riku came back to Destiny Islands.
Or maybe it was just to celebrate the day Sora came back.
Riku had quit his job, sick of being kept away from public view in an occupation his parents had found, or maybe begged, for him. He knew the manager hated him anyway, and was obviously more than happy for Riku to leave.
Sitting quietly on his bed in his overly neat room, he fingered the small present Naminé and Roxas had somehow gotten him for his birthday, unbeknownst to Sora and Kairi. It was a simple necklace—a heart that curved inside itself at the top—but it had somehow meant a lot more than he would've thought it would.
'Even if you never see us again, we're always here.' Naminé had spoken. 'Just because we're Nobodies, that doesn't mean we don't exist. Cheer up, Riku! We'll be watching you from inside Kairi and Sora.'
He wasn't even sure how they had managed to buy the gift, let alone deliver it to him. 'At least you feel compassion for Nobodies,' Roxas had joked. 'Sora still thinks Nobodies weren't ever meant to exist.'
Riku sighed at the memory. As nice as it had been to know that Naminé still cared, and that Roxas didn't hate him for what he had done, the effect was considerably dulling everyday.
Ring, ring!
The phone. It was probably Sora calling him, to ask him to show up earlier or something.
"Hello, Riku? Hey, do you think you could show up earlier tod—"
"Yeah, sure thing Sora."
For Sora, he'd do anything.
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Which is why Riku found himself sitting on his own, being silent while Sora and the others partied.
"What is the point of devoting your life to making that foolish boy happy?" Xehanort asked, clearly attempting to make him doubt his friendship with Sora. "He obviously doesn't care for you."
Because I love him, Riku mentally snorted. I'd do anything for him, and you can't make me do otherwise, you stalker.
"Like I can choose whether I wish to be everywhere you are," was the reply Riku received.
You were the one who chose to use me back then, so stop whining. You just didn't expect Sora to kick your ass. When Xehanort didn't say anything in return, Riku smirked for a short while, before reverting to his former state.
"So, Kairi, what are you going to give Sora on the anniversary of his return?" Riku absentmindedly overheard Selphie ask.
"Tee hee, you see…" Try as he might, Riku couldn't hear what Kairi was whispering to her…Probably something only she has privilege to do, he realized. Like a kiss…
Sometimes Riku really envied her. She had Sora's love, the islander's love, her parent's love…He envied her to the point of hatred at times. But he knew it wasn't her fault. He had submitted to the darkness, and this was his punishment…
So why had he come back? If he had just stayed in the world of darkness…
"Riku?" That had been Sora's voice.
"Y-yeah?" A small slip up, but hopefully Sora wouldn't notice that…
"Want some cake? We cut it already, which you probably didn't know 'cuz you were too busy being spacey," Sora grinned playfully, turning around just to blow a kiss at Kairi.
"I…er, need to get going. Stuff to do at home."
"Riku?"
"Have fun, I'll see you later!" Riku quickly blurted, already heading for the door.
"Riku, wait! Wha—" With a quick half-slam of the door, Riku successfully managed to cut off Sora's words. I don't want to hear it, he realized. Sora was happy with Kairi. What use was it trying to trick himself? Sora didn't need him, had never needed him, and would never need him…
"Riku!" Uh oh. When had Sora caught up so quickly? "Riku, what's wrong? Why'd you leave so fast?"
"….I.." He couldn't seem to find the right words to say. What was he supposed to say?
"Tell him what you feel, and then see what he says." Xehanort suggested.
What? What are you—
"You always claimed they needed you. So, prove it to me. I see no reason to believe that those pathetic fools are worth anything."
Fine! I'll prove you wrong, you just see!
"Riku…Is something wrong? You're so quiet these days. You aren't acting like yourself…"
What is like 'myself'? Riku wondered for a moment, but it wasn't what he said. "Sora…I..I need to tell you something."
"Okay, go ahe—Oh wait, hang on a sec. Kairi's phoning me."
Kairi. It's always Kairi. Riku thought, a bit scornfully. He waited semi-patiently, desperately trying to bring up the courage he needed.
"Okay Riku, so what did you have to tell me? Kairi wants me to get back soon, but I'm sure I have enough time to hear this."
"I…Sora, I..err…"
"….Riku? Not that I want to rush you, but I really need to get going…"
"….Sorry, it's nothing…" Why did I just say that?
"Uh, well, I'll be going now…See ya, Riku."
"So, you're too cowardly to prove it in the end." Somehow, those words bit down on Riku's mind in a painfully harsh way. Coward… It rung in Riku's head like a never ending echo. I am not a coward!
"Sora! Wait!" He called after the boy leaving.
"Yeah?" Sora asked, turning. Somehow, he seemed slightly annoyed…
"I…um, that is.."
"…."
Why does he seem so impatient..? Oh yeah, Kairi…Well…Its now or never. "Sora…I.."
"Riku, I really need to go…"
"Iloveyou!" Riku burst out quickly.
"Wha…What?" Sora looked dumbfounded.
"I..I love you. I always have, ever since we were 13, but…Sora, I really love you…"
"…Riku…" Sora paused for a moment. "Is this some kind of joke?"
"I—what? What are you talking about, Sora? I really do—"
"This really isn't funny." Why did Sora's voice sound so cold?
"It's not a joke…Sora—"
"I can't believe you!"
"Sora, please..!" Riku took a small step closer, but it was a mistake.
"Get away from me!"
That had shocked Riku. What on earth was Sora saying? He knew he shouldn't have, but…
"I can't believe you! I heard the rumors, but…That's just gross. The Riku I knew was never such a…such a fag! You're not the Riku I know…get the hell away from me!"
He only watched as Sora pushed him and ran off. How could this have happened? Sora was never like this..had he? It hurts…why…how…it doesn't make sense! Sora was never...never like this…
He ran. He ran from the thundering street, away from Sora's house, away from this wretched place…
But where could he go? His parents loathed him, the Islanders hated him, his friends weren't his friends, Sora despised him…
Jumping quickly into the small boat, he viciously ripped off the rope, pushing the water desperately towards the hell he had come from. There was only one place he could go to, one place where there would be no one to hate him…
Tossing himself off the boat, Riku forced his feet through the wet sand. Lightning flashed everywhere, his wet form paying no heed to the pounding rain. Why did it turn out this way! Why, why, why! His tears mingled with the cold rain as he dashed towards the Paopu tree.
"They hate you. You've only been trying not to see it, but they hate you. They always have, and they always will. Stop trying to cling to the light." With these words, Riku tripped on a rock, his fallen form violently smashing against the muddy sand. Xehanort was just trying to make him accept the darkness, and he knew it. I won't give in…I can't give in.
But…what do I have left? Nothing, he realized. My hands can't hold onto anything…Nothing at all…I shouldn't have come back.
"Stop trying to deny the inevitable. There is nothing for you here, only despair."
Nothing…Then what am I? Am I nothing too? Wouldn't I be better off dead then?
"You have forgotten. Those fools know nothing. Come, now. You still have the Darkness…"
Why was it so cold? Riku's body was freezing, exhausted from the pain…Heaving sobs wracked his body, Sora's cruel words repeating in his mind.
"Riku. Give in to the darkness. It will save you from the light. Submit, and you will no longer feel pain…"
But…I'm already falling, aren't I? I'm too weak, I can't do anything now…
"Believe me Riku, I can give you strength. Give in to the darkness…" Why did his voice sound so alluring?
"Riku, give into the Darkness, give in to me…"
Riku looked up, straight into the swirling mass of darkness. It was so mesmerizing, calling him, beckoning him to come, whispering sweet lies of false promises…
As if in a trance, Riku walked into the mass of black water.
"It will protect you from the pain. Give in, Riku…"
"I…yes."
The tidal wave crashed down.
And Riku gave in, letting the darkness sweep him away.