Severus Snape was peddling fast, his thin form wobbling on the rusty metal contraption they called the "bicycle". His father had wheeled it into the room on his fifth birthday, a gift from where he worked in the junkyard. The real present didn't lie in the spindly bike, but rather in the lack of alcohol on his father's breath as he threw an awkward one-armed hug around his son and promised to teach him how to ride it. That day replayed itself many times, and the memory usually came in those restless moments before sleep. Even though he was now eleven and perfectly capable of navigating through the grimy streets himself, Severus occasionally found himself holding onto that shred of hope; that maybe someday, Tobias Snape would rise out of the couch where he wasted away, and fulfill a promise he'd probably long since forgotten.
The trees blurred past the dark-haired boy as he forced the bike faster. The houses became taller, and the front lawns grew more immaculate as he headed south. The neighborhood thrived in a way quite in contrast to its industrial surroundings, as if battling back the surrounding factories would raise their property value. Severus carefully took his right hand off the handlebar to shrug back the too-long sleeves and brush back a stray strand of hair which had blown annoyingly into his line of vision. He was going to see her again…and he allowed himself a little smile. It was surprising how the simple contraction of muscles made the sallow face come alive. How it painted Severus Snape, for a single moment, as perhaps any other child who did not have to grow up before their time.
It wasn't long, however, before Severus frowned, his thin face contorting to familiar lines. He was comparing the homes which lay beyond the white gate, fencing off the well-to-do community, to his own. He recalled the rotting wood porch no one had the energy, or finances, to fix; a broken glass window which let in cold drafts in the winter; a wobbly table too large for a family that never ate together and mismatched chairs with missing legs. This wasn't the time to feel pity, he decided, not that he complained at all anyways. It was simply something he'd learned to live with, like a constant migraine which refused to go away.
He briefly went over the scenario he constructed in his mind. It was something he thought about often, and in the perfect ending, he always achieved what he had been aiming for: the girl with the crimson hair. Her muggle sister was a pain, to be sure, an obstacle in his quest, but he waved her aside with a scowl.
His deflated tires bumped over a pothole and threw him onto the asphalt. Severus tried to dust off some of the white dust, but the thin layer smeared across his black corduroy shirt unappealingly. He grimaced and demonstrated his anger by aiming a kick at the twisted piece of metal. The bike responded by releasing one of its tires and several screws and bolts necessary to keep the structure together.
A small inconvenience, he chided. He was here at least, right beside the playground where he could already see two figures swinging themselves into the air. And it was pure bliss for him, being able to slip into the familiar darkness of the surrounding bushes and watching her.
Her hair was streaking fire through the sunset backdrop, battling for dominance. The descending sun caught a ripple of her waves and caressed it, making it glimmer in a strangely entrancing way. She was laughing, her white dress fluttering away from her as the wind playfully tugged at the flimsy material. The girl on the swing adjacent to her was viewing the joyous girl with contempt. Her mousy brown hair pulled up into a tight ponytail, her expression as cross as her arms.
Severus licked his dry lips nervously. He tried to picture the much anticipated scene in his head again. Somehow, his confident self flickered and disappeared, soon replaced by the cowering young boy standing in the bushes. He tugged at the strands of his hair, brushing them back over his shoulders, and turned his attention back to the situation taking place in front of him.
The red haired girl was talking to her sister. They were both standing now; the brunette was leaning over the other girl's hands, eyes wide with both jealousy and amazement.
"How do you do it?" Came the curious voice of her sister.
And something had Severus in its hold, pushed him out from his hiding place with a loud rustle. "It's obvious isn't it?" He found himself saying. Suddenly, fear gripped his brain. His breathing sped up, along with his heart. He hadn't planned on this. He was supposed to make a casual entrance, hands in his pockets, looking nonchalant and cool. But like always, his impulses betrayed him. He cursed inwardly.
The girl cocked her head to the side, and he noted how her hair spilled over her shoulder. "What's obvious?" She demanded with an air of defiance in her voice. It provided good judgment as to her personality in how she showed no alarm at the sight of the strange boy.
He had wanted to retreat; to apologize for interrupting and run back home. But here she stood, talking to him, her voice rooting him to where he stood. And Severus saw no other option but to keep talking in order to avoid humiliation. "I know what you are."
"What do you mean?"
Out of the corner of his eye, he observed that other girl…Petunia, who was staring at him with a mixture of mockery and bemusement. He gulped nervously. Her stare reminded him of his father when he taunted his son mercilessly.
"You're a witch," he pointed out plainly. Petunia flinched and the girl took a step backwards, as if he'd just hit her.
And then they were walking away, the two girls moving away from him, as if he had some sort of contagious disease. That was his cue to leave, to perhaps replan and pretend this disaster never happened, but Severus ignored his voice of reason and trailed after them. He held up his previous argument, not even aware of what he was saying as babbling nonsense filled his brain.
"Ha! A wizard?" The frowning girl's laugh was shrill. This time, it was Severus who stepped away from the pair. "I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river." She directed this comment at her sister, rolling her eyes dramatically, turning to Severus, she continued, "Good gracious. Have you been stalking us all this time?"
Instinctively, Severus opened his mouth to defend himself. But before he could properly tell her off, Petunia was marching away, pulling the girl with her with a harsh, "C'mon, Lily. Let's go. He's such a creep."
He stood there.
He simply stood, unable to move an inch as the girls' silhouettes slowly disappeared and night enveloped him. Even then, he could not admit to himself that his plan has backfired. He was only aware of a faint ache in his chest which he could not explain and could only compare to the many times he was sick and coughed so much it had hurt to breathe.
He was going to be late tonight. Without the bike, he could only walk the many miles home. And he was sure to receive a good whooping from his father. He gave the horizon one more glance before he turned to leave.
Suddenly, a movement caught his eye. The moonlight was glinting off of some metal contraption in the distance, a figure was moving towards him. His first thought was to protect himself. As images of serial killers filled his head, he quickly prayed that his death will be quick and painless. Then he laughed to himself weakly at his melodramatics.
But as the figure neared, his heart leaped up to his throat as he recognized the familiar red hair. Lily Evans was riding towards him on a pink bicycle, her expression undetectable in the dark.
"Why are you still here?" She called as soon as she got within earshot of Severus.
He was still defensive from the earlier incident. "Why are you?"
She stopped her bike and climbed off, standing a safe ten feet from him. "I don't know." She crossed her arms, but though the careless gesture seemed confident, her emerald eyes betrayed her. For once, the girl looked uncertain.
"You thought you'd find me here, didn't you?" Severus ventured, surprising himself with the bold statement. She tilted her head to the side again, the way she always did when she found something interesting, and ignored his question. Moving closer, she tentatively stuck out a hand.
"My name's Lily," she introduced.
"I know," he said quickly, and a crimson blush spread across his cheeks. He hoped she wouldn't notice under the cover of the night. "Severus," he replied firmly in an attempt to cover up his earlier comment. He reached for her outstretched hand, shrugging his sleeves back. There was something in the simple exchange that went far beyond the comprehension of two children.
"So what you said today…about what I could do," Lily began awkwardly, after a long period of silence during which time the two had stared at each other, Severus with an odd glimmer in his eyes. "The magic and all. It's real?"
He was still reeling from the handshake, and the fact that he was standing in the park, alone, with the girl he had been aching to talk to for years. "Sure it is. I'm a wizard, I can prove it," he declared, almost proudly. He had been practicing as much as possible in his free time, preparing himself for Hogwarts. Severus looked at a nearby swing pointedly, his face screwed into a look of deep concentration. Then, with a loud creak, the swing began to move back and forth, as if someone were sitting in it.
Lily gasped and clapped enthusiastically, her eyes alight with admiration. "Can I do that too?" She asked eagerly.
Severus laughed at her enthusiasm, "Yes, of course! I could teach you some if you want," he added bravely.
"That'll be great!" Lily giggled. "You have to promise that it's all real though. It feels like a dream, it's all so amazing."
His face settled into a soft smile. "You'll be amazing."
A thought came into the redhead's mind and she frowned again. "It's getting really late. And I shouldn't be here anyways. I snuck out," she admitted guiltily.
Severus looked up at the moon. He hadn't realized how dark the sky had really become. Disappointment ate at his stomach. "It's okay. I guess I'll see you at another time." Then he realized she was scowling at him again. "What?" He asked self-consciously.
"You live down at Spinner's End," she stated. He flushed tomato red again, and nodded wordlessly. "How are you getting home?"
He thought wistfully of his broken bike. "I'm walking."
"Walking?" A look of incredulity flashed across Lily's face. "But that's miles away! And it's already really dark outside."
Severus shrugged. He was used to inconvenient forms of transportation. "It's alright. I doubt my pa will miss me anyways. Maybe I'll camp out here for the night." He had done it times before. But his half lie was blatantly obvious in the way his face twitched when he mentioned his father.
Lily looked determined. "No, I will not have it. You'll freeze! I'll get my dad. Maybe he'll give you a ride; we have a car, you know."
The boy quickly cut her off, "It's fine. I don't want to cause any trouble. And besides, you'll have to answer questions." Also, Severus was certain that Lily's parents would forbid her to see him again if they found out. He knew he wasn't the sort parents liked their children to talk to, and certainly didn't look the role of someone who had been raised properly.
She was reluctant, but finally gave in. "Fine. But at least take my bike," she pushed the pink bicycle towards him, "You can return it later," she added hastily, seeing as Severus opened his mouth to argue.
"Thank you," he settled, annoyed at himself when wet tears built up behind his eyelids. He willed Lily to look away, and she did. He used the moment to wipe his eyes with his oversized sleeve.
He watched her leave.
She turned around every few steps and smiled at him, the moonlight kissing the crown of her head, exposing the red strands where they faded into star filled skies and lush dark lawns.
Her departure was so different than that from earlier. Severus was grinning now from ear to ear. Triumph beat at his head while he kicked the brake on the bike and peddled onto the main road. He biked slowly now, leisurely, his slight victory echoing through his veins.
Somehow, he did not think he'd mind if his father punched him about the head when his late entrance was noticed. But Severus still breathed a sigh of relief when he found the stubbled man, passed out on the overstuffed couch, a trickle of drool running down his chin.
Severus took care to tiptoe to his bedroom, avoiding possible creaky floorboards, and slinked into his makeshift bed without changing. He smiled as he reviewed their conversation over and over again.
He had never given the concept of love much thought, mainly attributing it to attraction and obsession with the girl's voice, laugh, hair…Not that the eleven-year old knew much about the emotion anyways. He had only heard tell of it from books (which stacked up in towers around his bed). And from the only truthful conversation he'd ever had with his mother, so he suspected.
"Why did you marry him, Ma?" He had asked. It was a cool autumn day, and in a fit of rage, Tobias Snape had thrown a cooking pot at his wife, then stormed out of the house, probably off on another drinking binge in the town bar. At eight, he couldn't comprehend why his mother had been disowned because she had chosen to marry a muggle. Or why she had chosen a life of living under the same roof as Snape.
Eileen Prince looked warily out the window and for the longest time, said nothing. Severus had wondered if she was going to answer at all when she finally replied, "Love. It was love." A small half-smile had curled her lips, and like Severus, it transformed her being like none other. In that instant, Severus saw a little of the vibrant person she could have been.
But often, as one is lying in bed on the verge of slumber, positive thoughts curve their mind in strange ways. For Severus, especially after the pleasant moments he had spent with Lily, he was rethinking this concept. He thought of the way something in his chest fluttered when she talked, when she ran her fingers through her hair, when she smiled and dimpled, and the way her almond shaped eyes flashed when she was determined.
Severus Snape decided right then and there that he was in love with Lily Evans; he will not someday become his mother because he knew that no matter what it cost him, he was going to hold onto Lily with all his life. With that knowledge, he drifted into peaceful slumber for the first time in months.