"You want HOW long off?" Benson said in disbelief.
He sat behind his desk, a big wooden one that may or may not have come from the back of a crappy garage sale. Its top was littered with papers and pens, a few picture frames scattered around for a false sense of décor. Benson's own hands sat on top of a stack of papers, writhing in frustration and anger at the sudden turn of events.
"A month" Mordecai repeated, leaning on the desk with his arms. He brought his face closer to Benson's, his eyes piercing the gumball machine's with a determined glare.
"Why on earth would I just hand over a whole month of, wait for it, paid vacation?"
Mordecai closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Benson could see the anger fluttering under his eyelids.
He released a huge whoof of breath from his nostrils.
"I need to see my father before he dies." He said.
Benson was only stunned for a moment, but he quickly decided he didn't buy it.
"So your dad lives in, of all places, Alaska? And why are you leaving now, right before spring break?"
Mordecai squeezed his lids tighter. It was taking all he had to not punch Benson right in the face and storm out of the office.
"Yeah Benson, Alaska. After getting mom knocked up he ditched us, went with his aunt. As far as timing, I can't exactly control when people die of brain tumors"
Mordecai huffed and sat back down in the chair behind him and closed his eyes. He was tense, legs jittering and muscles straining then relaxing over and over. Benson was being a hard ass, as usual. If Mordecai didn't get time off, he would just have to quit. Maybe he could get a job at the coffee shop with Margaret, that way he didn't have to move all the way out of state and he could still hang out with Rigby.
"Did you hear anything I just said?" Benson snapped. Mordecai flinched and sat back up. A billfold of money was now sitting on the desk, a metal clasp keeping the major cash together.
"Wha…" Mordecai said
"I said if you can find me two replacements you and Rigby can both get the next month's pay advance. I'll see if I can get you a car or something to drive with"
Mordecai was in slight shock. That was amazingly easy. He had expected maybe a fight, or at least tons of yelling and then threats of being fired. It was a little hard to process.
"How did you know I wanted to take Rigby?" Mordecai questioned, reaching for the money.
Benson quickly slapped his hand away and looked into Mordecai's eyes.
"I said AFTER you find me two replacements, and even if you didn't want him to go I sure as hell don't want him here alone for a month sulking about how his best friend up and left him. Now get out of my office until you find me those replacements."
Benson shooed Mordecai out and shushed any attempt at further conversation. Mordecai stared dumbfounded at the door as Benson slammed it. He heard the clicking of a phone inside and Benson talking to what seemed like several people at once.
He blinked a few times before remembering he still needed to find someone to fill in their spots. Turning around, he hurried to his room at the end of the hall. Inside, Rigby was already packing his own bag. Instead of folding anything or using any kind of order, he stuffed a bunch of scattered clothes into an old backpack.
"Dude, he said we could go AND get the next month's pay if we find two people to take over" Mordecai said excitedly, rushing to pack his own bag. Granted neither one wore many clothes, but they didn't know how cold it would be in Alaska.
"Sweet man! But who's gonna take over THIS crappy job" Rigby said, stuffing things faster than before. Just a month on the road with no work and his bro. Sure, they were going to go see some sick cancer dude, but still man a road trip.
"Uh, good question…" Mordecai said. He stopped packing so he could think better. Did they really even know anyone? Maybe Margaret had some boyfriend or someone who could help.
Mordecai grabbed his raccoon friend's furry hand and dragged him out of the room. Rigby struggled to get away.
"Dude c'mon what are you doing?" Rigby yelled.
"We're going to the coffee shop to see if Margaret can help us dude!" Mordecai explained excitedly.
Rigby groaned. He hated when they went to see HER. Not that he hated Margaret per se, but Mordecai never paid any attention to him when they were within 100 feet of that stupid bird.
Still, they needed help somehow. Rigby succumbed to letting himself be dragged into yet ANOTHER crazy adventure.
Margaret and Eileen both flinched as spit flew in their faces.
"THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW!" their boss screamed. The woman stomped a metal foot on the ground. Their boss, a computer monitor basically attached to a bunch of metal limbs, was once again yelling at them.
Her screen turned an angry shade of red as she grabbed the nearest coffee mug and tossed it across the room. It landed in the rubble of yet another crazy mess caused by the two girls. Margaret tried to say something, explain that it was in no way their fault that a bunch of daemons had destroyed the shop, but it was no use.
"YOU… YOU'RE BOTH…" The woman sputtered, trying to come up with a good punishment.
She used the first terrible thing that came to mind.
"YOU ARE BOTH FIRED!"
Eileen flinched hard and moved closer to Margaret.
"Please Mrs. Yates let me explain" Margaret tried to say, but once again she was cut off. In a flash Mrs. Yates tore off their aprons and shoved them out from behind the counter, or, what was left of the counter. They were both pushed violently up the stairs and then shoved out into the street.
Eileen tripped and landed on her hands and knees, scraping them. Margaret ran face first into some man hurrying to get to someplace. She was knocked back and fell on to her bottom.
Neither one spoke, or even moved for a moment. Finally, Margaret spoke.
"That sucked" was all she could muster.
"That's an understatement" Eileen countered, getting up and brushing the dirt and rubble off her clothes. Both sleeves of her sweater had been torn off, making her look like she was wearing some weird kind of vest. Margaret's own tank top was missing a huge chunk out of its side.
They looked at each other and, without warning, burst into wild laughter. They just couldn't help it. The stress of their day, randomly and suddenly being fired, and the fact that they both looked terrible was just too much. People gave odd looks to the two, who were now rolling around and clutching their stomachs. Their boss stared out of the cracked and dirty windows at her two wildest, most troublesome employees. She wondered why they both weren't fired long ago, all the trouble they caused.
Eventually though, the laughing calmed down to random fits of giggles.
"You wanna go see the guys at the park?" Eileen asked, knowing full well seeing Mordecai always made her day.
But she shook her head.
"Why not?" that was an unexpected answer to say the least.
"They're coming over here" Margaret said, pointing to the sidewalk across from them.
Of course, true to their nature, neither boy could do anything without screwing it up. Mordecai caught sight of Margaret almost halfway through traffic and stopped to wave. Rigby didn't even bother to check for cars as he sped past Mordecai. Cars stopped from all directions, drivers yelling obscenities and threats to the two. Eventually they made it across without dying.
"Margaret!" Mordecai yelled, "How are you?"
"Oh, fine I guess" she said with an exhale.
Rigby and Eileen on the other hand had a much colder exchange.
"Hey Rigby!"
"Hey Ellen"
"My names Eileen silly"
"Whatever"
But no matter how cold Rigby was Eileen plowed right through. After all, her and Rigby would get married and have kids one day. Dozens of them, 6 boys and 6 girls. And they would all have a house and and and-
"Eileen!" Margaret said again giving the smaller mole a shake for good measure. The small female rubbed her eyes before acknowledging Margaret.
"Huh?"
"I said we would love to help Mordecai and Rigby any way we can"
"Oh sure!" Eileen piped up. Maybe this was her chance to score some time to seduce Rigby.
"Well uh, we were just wondering if you had like a boyfriend who could fill in for me and Rigby for a little while" Mordecai said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his wing.
"Where are you guys going?" Margaret asked, cocking her head to one side. It had the effect of making Mordecai even more awkward.
"Uh, to see my dad. He lives in Alaska"
"Why on earth would he live in Alaska?"
"No idea, but we need someone to fill our place or Benson won't let us go"
Eileen and Margaret looked at each other. With just the smallest nod they agreed.
"We can do it" Margaret said.
"Really? Don't you need to like, work?"
"Well we just got fired so…"
Mordecai turned from awkward and slightly sulky to all sympathy.
"Oh dude, I'm so sorry. What happened?"
Margaret waved her hand and made a "Phht" like sound; somehow making it known she wanted to drop the subject without actually speaking.
While all this was going on, Rigby was still dodging verbal advances from Eileen. He elbowed Mordecai's knee hard to show that he didn't want to be here right now. Mordecai responded by leaning over and punching him in the arm, without ever breaking eye contact with Margaret as he explained the situation.
"You have something on your face" Eileen said, trying to reach over and pull off whatever it was.
"Get offa me!" Rigby exclaimed pushing her hand away.
"Aw come on its all over your face now!" she said, trying again.
Margaret and Mordecai both looked down at their mammalian companions. Mordecai huffed and pulled Rigby away, Margaret restraining Eileen.
"So, tomorrow?" Margaret asked just to be thorough.
"Yeah, I'll have Benson call you to make sure" Mordecai replied. They both made their separate ways, Margaret and Eileen walking to their apartment while Mordecai and Rigby went back to the park.
"What did we agree to?" Eileen asked.
"I'll explain when we get home" Margaret said rolling her eyes and giggling some more. At least now they had a job that wouldn't be so insane all the time.
A nice, regular job.
"She tried to touch me" Rigby mumbled as he and Mordecai walked home. He was rubbing his cheek to try and find the mysterious object that Eileen had attacked him to get, but he found, to no surprise, nothing was there.
"She likes you dude, and that's a miracle in itself. Why are you such a jerk to her all the time?"
"Because she's annoying, and Allen is a boy's name."
"Her name's EILEEN not ALLEN stupid"
"Whatever she's just gross, ok?"
Mordecai shook his head. He concentrated on what would be happening the next few hours. Packing, getting some kind of ride, and seeing his dad.
Did he want to see his dad? It had been so long, he didn't even remember him. His mom always said he was a good guy, but he just up and left one day.
That didn't sound too much like a good guy.
Suddenly the whole trip was a lot less fun. It became less of a road trip, and more like the drive on the way to a funeral. But what choice did he have? This was his last chance to see the guy who was supposed to raise him. Maybe he was old and gross, with like bald patches. Maybe he had dyed his feathers some weird color and gotten a bunch of piercings.
"Uh, Mordecai?" Rigby said quietly, tugging on his taller friend's arm. Mordecai seemed to snap out of whatever thoughts he had and looked down at Rigby. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw tears pricking around the avian's eyes.
"What?" Mordecai shot out, almost no emotion attached to it at all.
"We're home dude"
Sure enough when Mordecai looked up he was at the park gates. How was he supposed to ride all the way across the U.S. AND Canada, just to see this one guy?
He looked down again. Rigby stared back, an odd sympathy on his face that few people ever saw.
Whatever he was doing, he would be doing it with his best friend.
"C'mon dude, let's go get ready for our ROOOAD TRIIP" Mordecai yelled, waving his arms excitedly all around his head. Rigby joined him, both chanting road trip and waving their arms all the way to the house.
While Mordecai and Rigby were talking to Margaret and Eileen, Benson was having a discussion with the rest of his employees.
"OK people listen up!" Benson ordered as the four employees lined up on the front steps of the park's house.
Muscle Man quit trying to wrestle High Five Ghost. Pops pulled his attention away from a nearby butterfly that had sent him into fits of giggles. Skips, as always, was already paying attention so merely grunted.
"Alright, so I need to tell you guys something. Mordecai and Rigby will be leaving for a while"
Muscle Man interrupted the lecture with a screech.
"OH YEAH I KNEW THEY WOULD GET FIRED"
"SIT DOWN MITCH THEY ARENT FIRED" Benson screamed back.
Muscle Man complied, lowering the bottom of his shirt which he was in the middle of ripping off.
"They aren't fired", he repeated, "But they will be gone for a while. It's a family matter, and it's no one's business what it is. They may or may not get replacements, but in the event that they don't I'll need you guys to find some. Muscle Man, do you have anyone who could do their job?"
"I dunno man, I could see though" Muscle Man promised.
"Great. Another thing, does anyone know where we could maybe find some old car?"
Skips piped up.
"I've got an old moped. It's not very fast, but give me an hour and it will be"
"Great" Benson said, checking several things off the clipboard he always carried. He would have to remind the two to wear warm clothes of they were on a moped, otherwise they were likely to freeze to death.
"Oh Benson!" Pops chimed in, waving his hand excitedly.
"Yeah Pops?"
"Would it be possible for me to pack necessary refreshments for their trip? I wouldn't want them to go ravenously hungry!"
"Uh, sure Pops, you can use the cooler under the sink"
Pops clapped and laughed like a 5 year old, running into the house to pack 'refreshments'.
"Anyway" Benson grumbled, "I think that's it. Skips, stay behind so we can talk about that moped. Muscle Man and Fives get back to work"
The two friends left with a salute, and returned to their job. Benson heard a disjointed remark about Muscle Man's mom, and then they were gone.
"So, how long has his dad been sick?" Skips asked.
Benson didn't bother questioning how Skips knew anything about that. Skips knew practically everything.
"I don't know, I didn't bother to ask. I just told them if they got two people to take their place, they could go. Now, about that moped?"
Skips got up and motioned for Benson to follow. The two walked to Skips's little shack, located on the edge of the park. It wasn't glorious, but the Yeti never complained. It had a garage attached to the side, and that's where the two walked in.
In the center was a golf cart, one of the park's. There was always one or two in need of repair, so there was always one or two taking up room.
In the back corner was a workbench covered with tools. Next to that was a tarp, draped over something that had obviously been there a while.
Skips reached over and pulled it back. Dust flew everywhere and made Benson cough. He closed his eyes while it settled.
When he opened them, he saw the moped.
It was blue, a shade or two lighter than Mordecai's feathers, and had black lines around its edges. The seat was also black leather, and looked brand new. The front headlight was glistening. On the back were straps and a small little cage for carrying things.
"Wow" was all Benson could say. It really was beautiful. Almost a shame to give it to Mordecai and Rigby only for them to ruin it.
"They can't wreck in it" Skips said, almost interpreting Benson's thoughts, "I built it special"
Of course, by build it special he meant work some crazy magic on it. Not that anyone would mind.
"This is perfect, thanks Skips"
"Welcome. I'm just glad it can be put to use. I'm too big to ride on it myself"
Benson just nodded.
From behind them, the excited screams of "Road trip" filled the air. Only Mordecai and Rigby could be making those sounds.
"Looks like the party's here" Skips grunted.
Inwardly, Benson thought he would kind of miss the two.
Mordecai almost ran right into Benson. Instead he avoided the collision by falling back onto Rigby, who jerked wildly until he got out from underneath the bird.
"What are you doing? Didn't I tell you two you couldn't go until you got someone to fill in?"
"But dude, we totally found replacements" Rigby said eagerly.
"Who?" Benson asked, not at all convinced.
"Margaret and Eileen" Mordecai said, getting up and brushing dirt off his chest.
Benson looked surprised. Of course he expected the two to mess it up, or hire a couple of terrorists or something. Not that he knew the two girls personally, but he recognized the names as the two hard workers from the coffee shop.
"Oh… Well then, I guess finish getting the things you need and I'll get your ride ready. You can drive a moped right?"
"Uh sure, I rode one everywhere in high school. But, are we leaving today?"
Benson shook his head and walked off to Skips' house, leaving the two to assume that yes, today was the day of their departure. Not like they had much else to do, pack a few more clothes, maybe some face coverings since things would get cold on the moped.
"Dude this is awesome!" Rigby yelled, more excited than ever.
"No time man, we need to go finish getting ready" Mordecai said, stopping Rigby's little celebration short. It was aggravating. He was about to dance and everything. Whatever, there would be time for that during the next month.
The duo, almost never separate, walked up to the house. Upon opening the door, the smells of glorious food and sweets filled the air. Forgetting all about the things they still needed, they both nearly floated into the kitchen. Inside was Pops, merrily toasting sandwiches and making some kind of shake. In the oven they could smell pie, apple.
Pops turned around and noticed the two drooling men standing in the doorway.
"Oh hello! I was just cooking some refreshments to satisfy your hunger on the trip" Pops said, extremely joyful as always (maybe overly so on occasion).
"Dude, that smells amazing" Rigby breathed, trying to keep as much air going into his nose as possible. He reached for a sandwich standing on the table, its sweet aroma practically melting in his mouth. A spoon blocked his way.
"No no no, this is for your trip" Pops said, waving the spoon in a condescending manner to Rigby.
"Just one?"
"No Rigby, you boys will need this to save money"
Pops wasn't going to budge, no matter how innocent he seemed. So sulkily, Mordecai and Rigby returned to packing.
Mordecai reminded Rigby to pack extra clothes since it would be 20 times colder than the freezer when they were on the moped. Especially when they hit the Canadian border.
"Aw dude, we don't have passports!" Mordecai suddenly exclaimed.
"Yes you do" Came a voice form the now open doorway. The two turned to see Benson's outline holding two little booklets, PASSPORT stamped on the front in golden letters.
"Woah, thanks Benson" Mordecai and Rigby said in unison, each grabbing their own.
Mordecai's was full, with everything from a copy of his driver's license to his social security number that he didn't know he had. Apparently he even had insurance. That sorta made sense, as many times as he and Rigby almost died.
It occurred to him that almost everyone was going out of their way to be nice, even though he was leaving them all with a whole lot of work to do. Benson put a warm hand on his shoulder.
"You have a month and a half. 7 weeks. I don't care what you do between then and now, but call when you get to Alaska alright?"
Mordecai was close to tears. All this, and all the sympathy, was almost too much. He almost burst when Rigby moved closer and even pat his leg (which was essentially like him coming right out and saying something lame and sympathetic).
He choked out a thank you and closed his bag. Rigby followed suit, and both of the men walked out. Benson followed them to the front where Pops waited, a big cooler full of warm and tasty food. Mordecai nodded, managed to clear his voice enough for thanks, and hefted the heavy cooler into his arms. He had to adjust his duffel bag across his back to carry the load. Rigby, true to his nature, scampered in between his legs and nearly tripped him without trying to help.
"WOAH" Mordecai heard him exclaim. The cooler was blocking his view, and he only dropped it when he reached the bottom of the stairs.
The moped wasn't flashy, or brilliant, but it was beautiful. The paint was perfect, none of the lines were amazingly straight, and the seat looked like it had just been shipped over from where ever moped seats came from. The color especially, almost the exact color as his own feathers, just a few shades off.
"Woah"
Skips was standing behind it, two helmets under his arm.
He motioned over and helped Mordecai and Rigby secure their bags. The cooler went in the basket, somehow fitting. Their bags were tied to either side, knots so tight that nothing could pull them apart unless you pulled the ends really hard at the same time.
Mordecai nodded thanks as he took his seat, Rigby climbing on after him. Skips handed them their helmets and gave them tips as they put them on.
"You can drive it on the highway, it goes fast, but don't gun it or you could lose control. When you stop for the night, put down the kickstand and take the keys. Keep the helmets on at all times, and if it gets cold wear a scarf. And Rigby, I don't care what status you have or what kind of composure you need to keep, hold onto Mordecai as hard as you can without hurting him. If you fall off, it's over"
It was a whole lot to process, so of course they blanked a few parts. Rigby did catch the part about holding onto Mordecai and blushed a little, though admittedly it didn't sound too bad.
Mordecai looked around. At Pops, who was looking as happy as he ever did. At Benson, who admittedly looked a little less mean. At Skips, who showed a trace of emotion.
"Thanks guys, I promise to be back as soon as I can" Mordecai said
"We're gonna have a blast!" Rigby added, thrusting his fist into the air. Mordecai started the moped, and Rigby's fist quickly wrapped around his waist.
He gunned the accelerator, the forward motion catching them off guard. They heard departure cries from behind them as the trees zipped past.
The gates came up all too soon, and as they passed them the two men realized this was it, they were traveling across the United States and part of Canada to see some old man that neither really gave a damn about except to see him.
In that moment, they had never felt more alive.