A/N: This was playing over and over in my head, and I really couldn't write any of my other stories until I got it out. Hope you guys like it. Reviews are like chocolates. I can never have enough of them.
They'd kissed plenty of times before, but Jane could tell this one was different. When she pulled away, saw the fire in Maura's eyes. It was really different.
"No, Maura, we can't…" Jane took a shaky breath. "I can't—"
Maura silenced the detective with another kiss. Every fiber of Jane's being told her to kiss back, to give in to the heat she felt building in her center…Her pulse raced, her fingers shook she needed this so bad, but something else, something stronger than her primeval need, forced her to step away from Maura. The doctor would not allow it, though, moving with Jane, their lips never breaking as they backed up blindly. Everywhere Maura's hands went left streaks of fire on Jane's skin, weakening the brunette's already faltering conviction; she continued to retreat, however, her subconscious remembering something her full consciousness was failing to remember through all the lust and desire.
Jane had no where else to run, Maura slamming her into the kitchen island and extracting a small moan from the detective. The doctor paused, the sudden silence revealing just how heavily the both of them were breathing. Maura pulled her own shirt over her head as carefully as possible, like she feared any sudden movements would scare Jane away. But Jane didn't move, her eyes tracing Maura's perfect body. Her perfect stomach, those damn perfect breasts…Her lightly freckled shoulders, her unblemished arms…
No matter how much Maura loved watching Jane watch her, she couldn't wait. She leaned in, her lips ghosting against Jane's as if to assure her, her fingers lightly hooking under Jane's shirt. Their foreheads pressed together, Maura lifted the fabric a little further, but slowed when she felt the alarming sensation of tears on her cheeks. Not her tears…It was enough to cut through the dizzying need clouding her mind.
She jumped away from Jane, mortified at herself for her behavior. Maura's composure broke exponentially faster with each second Jane didn't tell her that everything would be okay. The detective balanced herself against the island, shaking her head slowly as more tears came. She looked up at the ceiling, fighting them with all her might, but the flood continued, no matter how many times she wiped the tears away.
"God, Jane…" Maura whispered, horrified. "I am so sorry. I didn't…"
She felt blood rush to her face, up her neck to her cheeks, completely ashamed. She stared a moment at the detective, who wouldn't look at Maura, her eyes still locked on the ceiling as if she was fighting some internal battle. The doctor snatched her shirt from the floor and turned to go, but strong hands stopped her, turning Maura back around.
"I…" was all Jane could manage right away, but she didn't let go of Maura, afraid that if she loosened her grip, the doctor would disappear. She closed her eyes, a few final tears spilling over as she took a deep, shaky breath in and out.
"You shouldn't waste your time on me," she mumbled, her eyes looking anywhere but into Maura's. "And I can't bear the thought that you would, even for a second, believe that I don't want your, Maur."
"So then what's there to cry about? I want you too, Jane. I love you—"
Jane winced at the words, pulling her arms away from Maura and clenching them tightly to her own body.
"Because I can't…I can't let you give all that up…just for me. No matter how much I want you to…"
"Give up what, Jane? Everything I've ever wanted is with you. It's where I want to be and—"
"I'm broken, Maura. Damaged goods," Jane yelled, causing Maura to jump at the harshness in the detective's tone. Jane gave a bitter laugh before continuing. "I've got more emotional baggage than you could ever know, and I cannot, for the life of me, bring myself to make you share that burden," she shouted, turning to start her usual nervous pacing, but it was Maura's turn to make Jane stay, anchoring the detective in front of her with surprisingly strong grip.
"You think I don't know the pain you feel? I see it in your eyes every day, Jane Rizzoli. I see it in every thought, every action, every word. I could've run a long time ago, Jane, but I'm still here. As it's always been. What's bringing this on now?" she pressed, searching Jane's bloodshot eyes for a sign. She was so confused, so terrified of losing the Jane she'd fallen in love with, she felt her own eyes sting with tears.
"Because, Maur," Jane whispered, leaning closer into Maura. She reached out and traced the honey blonde's jaw, across her cheek. She brushed the backs of her fingers against Maura's lips, trailing them higher until she caught the single tear Maura let out. "All my baggage…it has physical scars to match. You'd have to see them every time we…Any time we wanted to be alone, close, happy…I have all those sad, horrible reminders. I don't have to look at them, though, Maur. You do. How could you ever be happy with me when any perfect moment we shared together, you'd also have to see…every terror I've ever faced?" she felt a fresh wave of tears spilling over, but warm fingers brushed them away. Maura didn't say anything at first. She couldn't, because…Jane was right. It was one of the scariest thoughts she'd ever had, but Jane was right. Maura could never have Jane all to herself; she could only have the pieces left behind by the bad guys. Every mark on her girlfriend's body indicated a moment in time when someone stole parts of the only thing Maura ever cared for. That was beside the point, though, because some of Jane was millions of times better than no Jane at all.
Maura smiled ever so slightly, cupping Jane's face lightly with her hands.
"I love you," she said firmly, her eyes shining with admiration.
"I love you too," Jane managed, putting her hands over Maura's.
"Then, please. Trust me," Maura whispered.
The words sent shivers through Jane, the thought of letting go scaring her more than it probably should have. There was a difference now, however, because she did trust Maura. So she let the doctor pull her to the couch. Maura gave Jane a chaste kiss, which turned into two, then three kisses, but she couldn't help it. It was taking every piece of will-power she'd ever known just to keep herself from jumping Jane. But an action like that would scare her away, and Maura needed the detective right here with her.
Maura traced her fingers down Jane's arm, the fleeting contact making Jane want to squirm, but she fought herself, keeping perfectly still. The doctor's fingers continued their downward decent until they reached her hand. She lifted the hand off of Jane's lap, and Jane's eyes fluttered shut.
"No," Maura commanded firmly.
Jane opened her eyes and was met by serious hazel ones.
"Watch," she breathed.
The one word sent sparks through Jane's entire body. It made her heart skip a beat, the tightness in her chest increasing as her nerves escalated.
Maura waited a moment, making sure Jane would listen to her. When brown eyes stayed locked with hers, she was satisfied enough to focus her attention back on the hand. She pressed her lips to the scar on the back of Jane's hand. Her lips lingered on it, her hot breath cutting through the scar tissue until Jane could no longer feel the painful reminder, just Maura.
With a final kiss, Maura let her bottom lip drag over the raised flesh as she pulled away, her fingers replacing her lips. Her thumb traced light circles over the scar until it was dry. Maura marveled at the texture contrast as her thumb slipped off the scar and onto soft skin, then back onto the unyielding scar. She flipped Jane's hand over, pressing the palm to her lips. She let her tongue trace the jagged edges of the scar. The new sensation made Jane let out a moan, her body beginning to tremble with need. Maura let out a soft chuckle, her breath momentarily erasing the scar from Jane's body as it did before. As quickly as it started, though, it was over. Maura's lips were gone and her fingers replaced them as before. Maura repeated the process with Jane's other hand, the detective crumbling under her loving touch. The softer Maura was, the more Jane began to realize exactly what she was doing. Tears welled in her eyes as the doctor finished her other hand.
"Maura," Jane choked out, needing to see her beautiful hazel eyes.
"Shh," Maura soothed, climbing up to sit at eye level with Jane and capture her lips.
Jane's breath hitched and she leaned into Maura more than usual. This time, though, she felt Maura's hand press securely on her chest. The detective let herself be pushed onto her back; she let Maura straddle her, unable to hide her ragged breathing.
The doctor leaned down and gave Jane another impossibly loving kiss, leaving a trail of kisses down Jane's jaw to her ear. She paused.
"Your scars are mine, Jane," she whispered, her lips brushing the detective's ear. "Nobody else's."
She dragged herself down Jane's body until her eyes were level with the hem of Jane's shirt. She slid the material upward until she found the gunshot wound. She stared at this one for a moment. Seeing it always gave her knots in her stomach, knowing it was from Jane herself…it was almost unbearable. But she let her fingers trace the gnarled flesh, the touch causing Jane to arch her back, begging for more.
"Shh, shh, shh," Maura soothed again, pressing Jane firmly back onto the couch.
She leaned in and let her lips ghost against the scar tissue. It was cool to the touch, dead, but when Maura pressed down more confidently, Jane's living heat overtook her. As Jane always would.
The detective couldn't help it; her hips rocked ever so slightly when Maura's tongue teased the scar. Maura laughed lightly, her lips still on Jane's stomach. She knew they'd have to stop. She placed a final kiss just below the scar before slinking back up Jane's body. She let her weight rest on the detective, her head on the crook of Jane's neck. Jane gave a small laugh as well.
"Really?" she asked, slightly exasperated. "You're kind of a tease."
Maura just smiled warmly as she stared into Jane's chocolate eyes.
"All in good time, Detective," she promised, snuggling deeper into Jane's shoulder.