Under land: Alice's Insanity
Chapter 1:
I stood at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to arrive so I could hurry along with my day. Today was Tuesday, today was the day I had to go to my lame psychiatrist just because of my problems. Mom knew I hated counseling; I hated having to sit through an hour session with a person that sits there across from you, sipping coffee or tea and taking notes on a note pad. She said it'll help me with my 'issues' hopefully, so I can get better mentally and go on with my life. I remember that morning as I got ready for the day.
"You know I'm only worried about you sweetie, I'm hoping this will help you cope with your issues" my forty three year old mother had said sweetly, standing at the counter in the kitchen with her back turned against the coffee pot, looking at me. Mom always had to have a cup or two of coffee to start the morning off, before heading off to her job at the Sassafras bakery nearby, even though she gets free coffee there.
"Yes I know mom, that's all you ever do" I moaned, sighing down at the barely touched bowl of cereal on the table in front of me, mom knew I hated it when she worried about me, but, being her only child, it's her job to do so.
"You know it, Alice, ever since your father left I had to take on both parenting roles to watch over you and protect you so we-".
"Could survive and live on our own, or at least try to, I know mom" I cut in, remembering those words my mom had said to me when my father left.
I looked down at my breakfast, I had eaten half of its contents in the time mom was talking, I stood up and grabbed my bowl, walking it over to the empty sink. I then walked into the front room and slid my Gir hoodie on my back, slipping my arms in the sleeves and zipping up the zipper to his glasses. Sliding my backpack on then grabbing my iPod and phone I opened the door.
"Bye mom! I'll see you later!" I called out to mom, waiting for her usual answer.
"Bye Alice! Don't forget to-"I walked out the door and shut it, cutting off my mom again.
"Go to your appointment with Mr. Pumpkin this afternoon, I know" I mumbled under my breath as I walked to the bus stop, mimicking my mom's cheerful tone.
I pulled my hood down as the bus pulled up in front of me, pulling out my wallet to show my bus pass. I stood back a step as the passengers of the bus got off before I walked the three short stairs up into the bus, showing Eli my bus pass.
"Hey Alice, where are you going today?" Eli asked as I stepped aside, putting my hands against the railing near the front of the bus. Eli was one of my public transportation friends, he knew me from when I was in middle school, maybe before then, Eli was always kind of a fatherly type to me, he was there when I needed to talk to him and if I forgot my bus pass he would let me get on anyway.
"To the mall, then my psychiatrist appointment" I said, as if directing him to my destination, even though he's been on the same route for ten or so years.
"I didn't know you were going to a psychiatrist," Eli said, shocked, "why are you going to a psychiatrist? Is it that same nightmare that keeps visiting you?" Eli asked, looking at me from the corner of his eye, I swear he could drive this route blind if he chose to.
" I don't know, I guess mom see's that I have problems so I have to go, I don't think it's the nightmare that's bugging me, just childhood issues that stuck themselves to me like a leech" I said, shifting my weight onto my other leg.
"Ah well I don't know what to tell ya kid, you seem pretty fine to me" Eli said, smiling.
"If I was fine wouldn't I be having more than one type of dream? Wouldn't I be having more than one type of nightmare?" I asked Eli questioningly, a little confused by my reoccurring nightmare.
"Or just nights without dreams or nightmares, a dreamless sleep that should leave you peaceful but that may be partly why your mother is sending you to a psychiatrist" Eli joked, I smacked him in the arm playfully.
"That would be an idiotic reason if my mom sent me to a psychiatrist just because of a reoccurring nightmare, it could be something serious like my so called 'issues', you know" I said, knowing it was ninety nine percent sure. "My mom worries about me more and more each day because of my so called 'issues'" I snorted, rolling my eye, I put my wallet in my pocket as Eli halted the bus to a stop slowly in front of the entrance to the mall, "I would give you a hug but I don't think I should since you're on duty right now" I said smiling at Eli as I to the few steps to the front of the bus.
"Oh come on, I don't care, you're a friend so who would tell?" Eli asked before pulling me into a bear hug that almost squished the living daylights out of me, he let me go, watching me walked down the stairs to the sidewalk. "Go get breakfast then head straight back here, got it?" Eli asked a stern fatherly tone in his voice though it sounded more of a command.
"Yes sir!" I answered sternly, a flat tone in my voice though a smile had fought its way through my lips. I held up my hand in a salute then waved to him.
"Good! Now march!" Eli commanded, waving back at me as he pulled the door shut and directed the bus into traffic.
I shook my head at our silliness before walking into the mall, smelling the food courts and shops that contained the mall. I followed the smell of cinnamon and sugar up the second floor to the Cinnabon stand, a few people standing in line to get their food. While I waited I turned on my music and waited, every so minutes the line slowly moving, I looked around and counted the people behind me, one…two…three, three people in line behind me. At last the guy in front of me was up so I took out one Skull candy ear phone and lowered the music down so I could hear; I looked up at the menu to see what I wanted. After another minute or two the guy in front of me got his order and left the line, making it my turn.
"Hello I'll take your- oh, hey Alice!" the girl behind the counter said cheerfully.
"Hey Melinda, how are you?" I asked, a smile on my face when I saw Melinda, Melinda was this kind of person that was always happy and whenever I hung out with her she would make me happy somehow, she had worked at Cinnabon as a job during the school year so she could help her parents with the house.
"I'm good, you skipping today?" Melinda asked curiously, leaning against the counter as I did, Melinda knew when I skipped and when I didn't since she worked morning shifts and Cinnabon was my place to get breakfast.
" No, I got an appointment today, I thought about getting breakfast here before going to my appointment, mom gave me a $100 dollars to spend while I was here" I smiled, taking out my wallet and holding $10 dollars on the counter , part of it underneath my hand.
"Well you came to the right place! What will you have?" Melinda asked her thin fingers already on the cash register to take my order.
"I'll have two cinnabons and medium strawberry lemonade please" I asked politely, letting go of the $10 dollar bill for Melinda to put in the cash register.
Melinda took the $10 dollars and gave me back $4.50, Linda was a math genius so if you tried sneaking money from her, you wouldn't be able to. I stood to the side with my receipt and left over money in hand while my food was being made, within two minutes I had my food and was gone, saying goodbye to Melinda before heading off to the Disney store, eating my food along the way. I had been in the Disney store for a few minutes when I got a text.
Where are you?
The message had been from Dezz, my sixteen year old friend that sometimes skipped school, but sometimes she was gone from school because she gets sick so easily.
I'm in the Disney store, where are you?
I replied back, it only took a minute to spend on the text; I looked at the Pocahontas and John Smith dolls as I got another text. My phone sang for my attention again.
At Hot Topic, I have a surprise for you!
I looked at the two dolls again before hurrying down the stairway to the first floor to Hot Topic, whenever someone said they had a surprise for me I always got excited, I have never figured out why yet. The elevator took longer than I wanted to get to the first floor but I made it finally and took a deep breath, casually walking into Hot Topic like I hadn't rushed to get there to see what Dezz had for me in store. Dezz stood at the section where the band t-shirts were, her purple backpack sticking out from the dark blue hoodie she was wearing that Randall always lets her wear, I walked up to her slowly.
"Hey Dezz" I said, sneaking up behind her and tickling her sides gently, I always tickled her when I could.
"Heeey!" Dezz yelped, jumping a second after I started tickling her.
"So what do you have in store for me?" I asked, looking at Dezz's hands then around me and her for any hint of the surprise.
"Hm? Ohhh, it's somewhere around here" Dezz said as she slid off her backpack and started looking inside of it, I stood still, waiting, listening around me. There was a rush of air close by me.
"Hey guys" a familiar voice said behind me, I knew who that voice was but before I turned around I already knew who it was.
"There's my gift in store for you" Dezz said, smiling at me as Brian stepped aside so we both could see him. Dezz knew I still liked him, loved him actually and I know it's bad to love someone older than you but that's just my mentality. Dezz looked at me with a raised eyebrow, my cheeks flushed a little from seeing Brian.
"Brian! What are you doing here?" I asked excitedly, giving him a side hug though it was an instant reflex with him. I had fallen so deeply for him, it wasn't even funny, and I still loved him even though we were broken up and he probably had a girlfriend, I'm afraid to tell him for what his reaction might be if I did tell him. Brian is a tall guy that you could instantly love, like I did, just because of his personality, he has perfect brown hair with a slight dirty blonde to it that curls slightly, his eyes are hazel but depending on his mood and the light, they could be a different color.
"You know Hot Topic is my favorite store in the whole mall, well, besides Spencer's" Brian replied, smiling down at me, he had a handsome smile, his teeth white and crooked a little, but not too crooked to make them stick out, just perfect.
I looked up at Brian and smiled back, looking into his eyes, "I know, but…you're here when I'm not in school!" I said cheerfully, a smile again had fought its way through my lips, "I thought you hated me" my voice had lowered a little with a sad tone to it, remembering our last and probably final, break up.
"No I don't hate you, I know you remember last time but you didn't do anything, it was your mom's fault", his voice singed a little with anger but he gave me a hug then looked down at me, "we're still friends".
Wow, he must have done some thinking or something to say that it wasn't my fault, though I still think it is because I had to be 'dragged' from him to go to a stupid concert with my mom that I didn't even want to go to. I hated having to do that to him, even after he promised to take me to the mall; I still hate myself for what had to be done.
"Well I'll leave you two alone to catch up" Dezz said, waving at Brian as she picked up her backpack and gave me a look that made me blush a little harder. I kicked her calf as she walked away then smiled back up at Brian as if nothing had happened.
Dezz hates Hot Topic for some reason; I don't get it how she can because Hot Topic is awesome! I and Brian walked through Hot Topic a little, stopping to look at t-shirts and saying I would look good in that or that would be funny to wear. Suddenly a question popped up in my head.
"So how come you removed me from your MySpace friends?" I asked a tint of hurt in my voice.
"Because of the shit your mom was saying and all that was happening" Brian said, picking up a Marilyn Manson shirt and looking at the graphics.
I decided to go back on MySpace sometime and befriend him again since, hopefully, what was happening was settled and done.
"So you still chew?" I asked curiously, looking up at Brian.
"No" he answered simply.
"You still smoke?" I guessed again, trying on a black reporter hat with skulls decorated around it.
"No, I moved onto the harder shit, chronic and red" Brian said, looking at me at how I remembered this.
"You don't smoke blueberry anymore?" I asked, putting the hat down and looking at the Scarecrow fangs they had on sell.
"Nope, chronic and red is what I smoke now" he smiled at me; I smiled back at him proudly. He had quit chew and smoking cigarettes, I couldn't help being proud of him, chew infects your gums and cigarettes kill you slowly. I still wished I could smoke; I planned on it too, especially since mom thinks I do sometimes.
"Hey, you want $45 bucks?" I asked Brian, taking out my wallet of my pocket and holding two $20's and a $5 out to him.
"Are you sure?" Brian asked, shocked by my gesture.
"Yes, here" I held out the money to him further and he took it slowly, I looked up at the clock in the store, the clock read 11:00 am, "shit! I got to go!" I exclaimed, putting my wallet back in my pocket.
"Where're you going?" Brian asked, following after me.
"Walk with me and I'll tell you!" I half shouted speed walking my way to the entrance of the mall to the bus stop out front. Brian had no trouble catching up to me because of his long stride, within five minutes we were outside and waiting for the bus.
"I have a psychiatrist appointment in a bit and I have to catch the bus to get there by noon or 12:30 pm" I said, putting my hands in my pockets to warm my fingers up.
"Why are you going to a psychiatrist and when did you start going?" Brian asked surprised, leaning against the bus sign with his arms crossed.
"Because mom is making me go and I've only been going for a while now, it's not that bad as I thought, it's kind of helping" I said, hearing the bus though it wasn't even close by yet.
"Why are you really going, Alice?" Brian asked, pinning my name into the question so it went directly to me.
I sighed, I couldn't escape from this one, "because of my so called 'issues' that mom gets worried about more and more each day along with saying they need to be fixed" I sighed again, rolling my eyes slightly. The bus stopped in front of me and opened its door to let people get off.
"What is one of your so called 'issues' that need to be fixed?" Brian asked, looking down at me as I stood behind him, I held up my index finger to Eli to wait a minute.
This time I sighed more heavily, my heart feeling drowned in depression, "I still love you, I need to move on and let us be friends" I said as I boarded the bus, showing Eli my wallet, I walked to the near back of the bus.
Brian was still standing there, having a shocked expression on his face, I sat down and waved at him sadly, he recognized me waving a few seconds before the bus pulled into traffic and had enough time to gather up a small wave back. I sat back in my seat as the bus lurched forward and into the street lane. I took out my iPod and plugged my ears with my Skull candy ear phones, mumbling sadly, "bye Brian".