A/N: Wooo! New fic! This idea came to me at...hm...around two am. I'd eaten a LOT of chocolate, so I was still awake, I can't really do caffeine...but anyway! So, this idea came to me, and I started choking with giggle fits! I don't think anyone heard, but I must've sounded pretty strange...

So...as you can probably guess, this is a Humour! Brilliant, I can't really write anything else...

Annnd...this chapter's a prologue. So it's really short. Only around 650 words! But don't worry, actual chapters'll be longer...I don't really like to have anything under 1000 words...but I can't proof-read more than 2000 properly, so expect something in between those two numbers! :)

I've just broken up for my Xmas vacation, (WOO!) so updates will be quite fast, (hopefully, I'm not promising anything!) IF I get enough reviews! I enjoy reviews. I ain't gonna deny it. And I'm not just going to post this fic for fun, either. So, if you want this updated, PLEASE REVIEW! Oh, and also, please read every A/N I put up, because there is a reason I do these things, and it could say something important like 'THIS FIC WILL BE ON HIATUS FOR A WHILE' or something. But don't worry, this fic probably won't be going on hiatus. That was just an example. XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. All credit goes to...(wait for it)...KUBO TITE! Yayy! Although I do wish I owned the manga...and Ulquiorra. And Shinji. And Gin. And Hitsugaya. And Yukio. And-yeah, I think you get the idea now.

The Beginning

It was a normal day in the Tenth Division barracks. Hitsugaya-taicho was working. Matsumoto-fukutaicho was not.

"Taiiichoooo?" Matsumoto drawled, busily painting her nails a very pretty shade of pink.

"Yes, Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya didn't look up from his work.

"Why are you always doing paperwork? Isn't that so boring?"

"I can't exactly say it's fun, but I don't really have a choice when you do absolutely no work whatsoever, now do I?" Hitsugaya countered, a vein popping in his forehead. It seemed to be doing that a lot these days.

"It's not my fault! It takes time to stay this beautiful!" Matsumoto reasoned, finishing her nails and waving them about in the air to dry them.

Her taicho rolled his eyes. "Sure."

"And I do work! Sometimes…"

He raised an eyebrow and finally turned around to eye his second in command. "Do you now?"

"Yeah! In fact, I worked…this morning!" Rangiku informed him heatedly.

"And what did you do?"

"I dropped off those papers from the Second Division that you asked for!"

"Really?"

"Uh huh!" she confirmed.

"So exactly why haven't I found them anywhere yet?" Hitsugaya dared to ask.

"Well…I was tired, and it's such a long way from the Second Division to here…so I dumped them at your house." Rangiku finished cheerfully.

Hitsugaya let his head fall to the table with a thump. "And how, pray tell, did you manage do find your way into my house?"

"Duh! I stole your keys! You should really be more careful, taicho."

Hitsugaya sprang up and checked his belt for the non-existent keys. "Matsumoto. Your position as fukutaicho is in great danger. You can't just go around nicking your superior officers' keys!"

"Naw…you wouldn't fire me really!"

"Don't bet on it." he deadpanned.

"So…are you going to go fetch those papers?" Rangiku asked him.

"Funny you should ask, Matsumoto. I seem to have mislaid my keys." he reminded her sarcastically.

"Oh yeah! Whoops. Here you go, Taicho-chan!" she handed them over.

"What did you just call me?"

"Nothing!" she called over her shoulder, already well out of the office door.

"Wait a second, Matsumoto! I'm not letting you out of my sight! You seem to get distracted from work much too easily these days." Toushiro called after her, sighing heavily when he realised she was already out of earshot. He flash stepped after her.

…

"…What is the meaning of this, Matsumoto?"

"Uh…" For once in her life, Rangiku was surprisingly speechless.

Upon entering Hitsugaya's private quarters, they'd met what seemed to be a hurricane site. Paper lay strewn everywhere; all over the floor, under the sofa. Hell, there were even a couple up on the shelf!

Hitsugaya's teal eyes strayed to the culprit of the mess: an open window.

"Matsumoto. I know for a fact that I closed all the windows before I left."

"Ah…About that! I, uh, felt it was a bit stuffy in here when I came in this morning, so I opened the window. Must have forgotten to close it! Silly me!" Matsumoto rambled, smacking her head comically with her palm.

Hitsugaya groaned and rubbed his temples. "This is going to take hours to clean up…" he muttered under his breath.

Unfortunately, Rangiku had very good ears. "Not to worry, taicho, I can fix this in a jiffy!" she declared cheerily. Before he could stop her, she muttered a quick kido incantation under her breath and made the necessary hand signs.

"No! Matsumoto, wait—"

The ensuing explosion was felt all over Seireitei.

…

Matsumoto and Hitsugaya stood in what once may have been Hitsugaya's house, but was now just a pile of charred rubble. The two themselves were pretty much indistinguishable from each other, except from height and figure. They were both covered head to toe in identical outfits of oily black soot.

Hitsugaya wiped some gunk off his eyes. "Matsumotoooo…"

To Be Continued

A/N: Lols...Rangiku's in big trouble now! I wonder what that kido was...? Oh well, it's probably a good thing I don't know, else I'd end up exploding the entire WORLD by accident or something stupid like that...so like me. XP