Sweet Bella Faith, an one tree hill fanfic

Disclaimer; I own nothing but Bella Faith. . Just for an added effect, you should listen to the song while reading. The song is Zoe Jane by Staind, and I'd like to thank them for writing such inspirational music. Reviews and constructive criticism welcome. Happy reading!

Well I want you to notice
to notice when I'm not around.
I know that your eyes speak straight through me.
They speak to me without a sound.

Eight years had come and gone. And today his baby girl, his beautiful baby girl was 8 years old. She would start third grade in the fall, and slowly they would grow apart. She would always be his baby, even if he wasn't around.

Haley ordered Nathan to pack his bags and get out, for good this time. Slowly, he tossed random things into his small suit case and headed for the door. She was waiting there, staring up at him with her large ocean-blue eyes. There was a pained expression on both of their faces. He bent down and kissed her head. "I'll be back baby girl. I promise. Don't worry," he said, answering her unspoken question. She nodded and hugged him tightly. "I love you daddy," she whispered clenching her eyes shut tightly. He hugged her tighter and kissed her too. "I love you too, Bella Faith. I love you too." Haley stood by the open door, waiting for him to get out. He let go of Bella and walked out, then turned to see her standing in the door way, her eyes overflowing with tears and words she would never say, words only he could understand.

I wanna hold you.
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured.
And I wanna show you.
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you.
And I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter.

He was underneath some bridge by the interstate, a can of Bud Light in his hand. He brought it up to his mouth and drank greedily. This was not what he wanted. For him. For Haley. For any of them. Especially not Bella. He wanted to be there for her. He wanted her to know that know matter what happened, no matter what kind of person alcohol warped him into, he would ALWAYS love her; she would always be his baby. He wanted to teach her how to ride a bike, and how to shoot a free throw. He wanted to show her the beautiful side of life that one rarely saw. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to shield her from the harsh words that he and Haley constantly threw at each other. He wanted to take the pain from her as she dealt with the effects of her parent's divorce and Nathan constantly being kicked in and out of her life. He wanted to protect her from the cruel intentions of the world, her first heartbreak, and the problems of alcohol. He wanted to protect her from that more than anything.

When I walked out this morning
I cried as I walked through the door.
I cried about how long I'd be away for.
I cried about leaving you all alone.

As he walked through the door, tears rolled down his cheeks. Haley would be on her own, defenseless, left to raise their daughter. Bella would ask where he was, when he was coming home, if he was ok, and Haley would not know how to respond. He cried as he thought of the lies Haley would have to make up and how much it hurt her to do so. He cried thinking about how he would no longer be able to tuck Bella in and read her a story. He would no longer come home to his wife and daughter. He was walking out on them. He wouldn't be able to sit with them at dinner and listen to the chatter away about how their day went. He wouldn't be able to hug, hold, and kiss them whenever he wanted. Haley wouldn't reach out to take his hand or stroke his cheek affectionately as she often did. Bella's squeals of delight wouldn't echo through the halls. She wouldn't jump onto their bed, waking him and Haley up at seven in the morning on a bright Saturday morning to get a head start on the day. She wouldn't grin a lopsided grin at him as he walked through the door after a long day at work. They would be all alone. Some new man would come into their lives and steal their hearts. And all he could do was cry, drinking his life away because he was no longer their hero.

He had no job. No car. No means to support his family, the thing he cherished most of all. He couldn't protect them. He couldn't be there for them. He couldn't make their lives any easier. All he could do was make it worse and love them from a distance.

Sweet Bella Faith.
Sweet Bella Faith.

And now, his baby girl, his sweet, innocent baby girl was being scarred by his actions.

So I wanted to say this
'Cause I wouldn't know where to begin.
To explain to you what I have been through.
To explain where your daddy has been.

After a while, his tears stopped. He cursed himself out loud for forcing them along on this horrendous journey. Although deep in his heart, he was the sorriest anyone could ever be. Sorry wouldn't cover it, not this time. There was nothing he could say or do to justify his actions. He couldn't even begin to explain what it was like for him to hurt them that way, and to hurt himself. He pulled a sheet of parchment from his suitcase and began writing Bella a letter. To try and explain himself. He wrote about how it started when he lost his job and had no way to support them. He and Haley began fighting. Life was getting worse and the only easy way out seemed to be alcohol. He wrote about how many treatments he'd gone to and failed. He wrote about life on the streets, the places he'd been and the people he'd met. He wrote about how sorry he was for failing the most important person in his life-his daughter.

So I wanna hold you.
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured.
I wanna show you.
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you.
And I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter.
Sweet Bella Faith.
Sweet Bella Faith.

He folded it up and sealed it with a kiss. Standing up and stretching, he trudged back to the place he'd once called home. The garden was overgrowing with weeds, the grass needed to be cut and a lopsided for sale sign stood in the yard. The house seemed to sag under all the weight of the wrong doings he'd done to the people inside it. He walked to the door and laid the letter on the doorstep, then pressed his ear to the door. Inside, it was silent. The house no longer echoed with laughter and smiles. It was quiet and tense, and it was his all his fault.

So he turned and walked, unaware of where he was going. He just walked, knowing that he was walking away for all the right reasons. To protect his sweet Bella Faith.