No Chance in Hell

Teyashi: As this begins I will start the vote beginning now. Review to vote: Should Zim become Sexy, Tough, Popular, or Ruthless? Be aware, some don't mean what you think.

Dib: Anyways, Teyashi doesn't own Invader Zim. If he did, we would still be on TV.

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This is roughly five years in the future. The crew all go to "Hi-Skool"

Zim: Age 17, 5'10", 142 lbs (He discovered human training facilities called "Gyms" and has been using them to see human training.) Zim now wears simple jeans and a t-shirt, and also has a new, shoulder blade length wig.

Dib: Age 17, 5'9" (Zim believes that as Zim is taller than Dib, Dib is inferior.), 127lbs

Gaz: Age 16, 5"7" 110 lbs (Gaz is strong…Still.)

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Gaz was mad. This is not to say that she was sunshine and roses the rest of the time, but she was more mad then usual. Dib had been going on all day about aliens were going to take over the world. Bullshit. The only alien they knew was too inept to take over a cardboard box. Gaz was in her room playing the new Game Slave 5 when Dib ran in gibbering about how Zim must be planning something. Gaz stood up walked over to Dib and introduced him to her mute button, also know as her fist. "Dib, shut up. I don't care what you think about aliens or world domination. Haven't you noticed that idiot hasn't done anything in five years?! Just shut up!" Gaz then stormed out of the house.

'Stupid Dib, always aliens this and aliens that. I'd love to burn that crazy look off his face and doom him to a world of nightmare.' Gaz thought. She was strolling around the neighborhood blowing off steam by scaring people in their homes. 'Physical violence isn't enough anymore I need to break him inside.'

Onboard the Massive

"Yes your Tallestnesses, I will keep you informed." Zim groveled. Then his image left the viewing screen.

"He's been there for years and has yet to make any progress," Tallest Red whined, "On top of that he's still a spaz."

Tallest Purple took a long sip from his slushie before replying, "Did you expect progress from the defective?"

"No, good point."

On earth, in the basement of the house with the creepy lawn gnomes

"Dear god, I hate calling the Tallest," Zim moaned, "I have to act like a total moron in front of them just so they continue to think I'm defective." Zim roamed around the lab thinking of one fateful day five years ago. After taking off his PAK for quick repairs, he noticed how much clearer his thinking was when he had it off. After a quick scan he found the problem that lead to his mental instability. That fixed, he quickly figured out the true meaning of his mission and the reason GIR's waffles tasted like copper. He still acted like a spaz at skool and in front of the Tallest to avoid anyone catching on. He then went into the elevator and rose to the house floor.

Reaching the top, Zim looked at the toilet he emerged from sitting in the kitchen of all places. He still wouldn't change it though. Its part of home, and without it, it just wouldn't feel the same. Zim looked at the calendar/clock while he was there. "Monday, 8:00. My favorite show's about to come on." Zim went to his fridge and opened it up. Apart from meat, most human food was alright on his system. Zim pulled out a muffin just as GIR began to rant on the subject of tacos. It was going to be a long night.

On the sidewalk out side Zim's house about a half an hour later.

Gaz looked at the green monstrosity of a domicile and knew her plan was perfect. As she walked up to his door, the odd gnomes kept a close watch on her. She knocked on the door. 'Alright, knowing how Zim has a tendency to bounce off the walls and be overdramatic, I've got to be patient and clear about my objective. It'll all be worth it in the end.' She was caught off guard however when Zim answered the door without his disguise on.

She'd never seen him without his wig and contacts. For at about 15 seconds she stood staring at his eyes. Then the antennae caught her attention. Without thinking (An oddity for Gaz), she reached up and stroked them. A shiver of pleasure slowly slid down his spine. Now he knew why the Tallest said that any antenna contact was off limits.

"Well, that's one hell of a way to say hello. You can come in if you want," Zim said, mildly confused.

"Alright," Gaz said, ashamed of her temporary mental loss.

Inside

GIR was mid-rant about tacos when Zim calmly lifted him and threw him into the kitchen toilet. Gaz took a seat on the couch and tried to regain her composure. Zim walked over turned off the T.V. and sat next to Gaz.

"So, why are you here? Given your opinion on top of your brother's, you wouldn't be here unless you had a good reason." Zim analyzed.

"Yeah but first, why aren't you in your disguise?" Gaz asked.

"When the guard gnomes told me that it was you, I figured I didn't need to put on my disguise. You already know I'm an alien."

"Right, well I've come here with a proposition for you," Gaz said, now stable and as emo as usual, "You hate Dib and wish to see him in any pain you can cause him, correct?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"You also wish to blend into Hi-Skool, right?"

"Yes, where are you going with this?"

"Dib has crossed me for the last time and I wish to destroy him inside. If you and I were seen as a couple, he will finally shut up and leave me alone. You will get the satisfaction of causing Dib pain and you will fit in better at school with a female companion."

"Alright, sounds good."

"Wait, what? Shouldn't you start going on one of your psycho tangents?"

"I only do those to distract the stupid from my disguise. Weird actions make up for weird looks."

"True. Anyway, the plan starts tomorrow. Don't screw up or I will make you wish that you were drowning in tank of salt water with open wounds."

"Don't worry, there's no chance in hell this can go wrong." This is when GIR walked back in holding a taco.

"Yooooooooooo," GIR yelled as he walked in, "Master, is this your girlfriend?"

"Yes, GIR, she is," Zim replied.

GIR walked up and handed Gaz the taco.

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Teyashi: Now as long as the network doesn't cancel us this time, we will have further installments. Now, I've got to get back to Taco Hell, my break's over.