I sit in the darkness of the hub, listening to the quiet hum of the machines that fill the silence. I'm trying to finish off an autopsy report on a guy who was attacked and killed by a weevil earlier today. Jack wants it on his desk as soon as, and so I've decided to stay behind and get it done. It isn't like I had any plans for tonight anyway. So here I am, sat in the empty hub typing away, the loneliness and emptiness eating away at me.
This was the one day of the year that I hated more than any other – Valentine's Day. It's fine if you've got a partner, then you can go home to them and have a sickenly romantic time. However for the single people out there, it pretty much sucks. Now normally I don't mind being single, it means being able to go out and play the field you know? However tonight is the one night that I can't stand to face the fact that I have to go back to a cold, dark flat, where no one is waiting for me. So instead I do what I do every February 14…I throw myself into work. It has become something of a routine for me, staying late and getting my work done. It's the only day of the year I bother to do it, and that's because no one is around to notice it. Every year, the rest of the team vanishes, and tonight is no different. Gwen's gone home because apparently Rhys has cooked a romantic meal for her. It's their first Valentine's Day since they got married, and they want it to be really special. I roll my eyes at that thought. Rhys is still completely unaware of the fact that at one point Gwen was screwing me behind his back. The thing is though that even when I was with Gwen, she'd still go home to Rhys every night and I'd be going back to my flat alone. Diane is the probably the closest I've ever come to a real relationship, and she flew off and left me. That's the way it has always been though, and it's not like I expect it to change any time soon.
Like I was saying, the rest of the team has vanished as well. Jack and Ianto both made their excuses and left earlier, however we spotted them getting into the same car and that was a bit of a give away. I can't imagine the two of them being immensely romantic together, even on Valentine's Day, but I guess you never know. An image of the two of them curled up on a sofa together enters my head and I stifle a laugh, even though no one is around to hear it. I guess the weirdest thing about being in the hub by myself is the fact that Tosh isn't around. She normally stays late every night, working on reports or examining alien technology. However tonight she left early. She mentioned something about a date with James, a guy she's been dating for the past two months. I met him once, when the whole team went out for a few beers. He'd come to drive her home and he seemed to be a right arrogant prick, with his flash car and sharp suit. He didn't seem to be Tosh's type at all, but she seemed really happy. She comes in most mornings now, beaming.
I sigh, feeling despondent at the fact that I was the only one of the team not in a 'stable' relationship. It's not like I could even go out and find a random girl to fall into bed with tonight. It seems that in Cardiff, tonight girls are doing one of two things. They're either doing something with their boyfriend/husband or they're at home sobbing over the fact that they are single once again. On the 14th, it is like the city is hit by a drought and there isn't a woman in sight, unless she has a man clamped to her arm.
I'm pulled from my thoughts by the echoing sound of the large metal door opening. I glance over and watch as it slides aside, and Tosh appears. The first thought in my head is that she looks gorgeous. Her long hair is down, framing her face, and she's wearing a dark purple dress that hugs her figure in all the right places. However then I take in the other details. Her eye make-up is smudged, and her shoulders are sagging. I then realise that she is crying, her gentle sobs echoing around the large hub. She stumbles up the stairs, pulling off her heeled shoes as she goes. I sit there, not quite sure what I am supposed to do. She hasn't noticed that I'm sat here yet, and I get the feeling she wouldn't want me to see her like this. But at that moment, she looks up and sees me. Her shock at there being someone else here is obvious, and she quickly wipes her eyes before looking at me.
"Owen! What are you doing here?"
"Working," I shrug. I quickly save the report onto my computer and I wander over to her. I stand in front of her, noting that without her heels, she doesn't even reach my shoulders. "Tosh, what's wrong?" She turns away from me, and begins to walk towards the frayed sofas that rest against the back wall.
"It's nothing. I'm just being silly that's all." I've known Tosh for years, and I know it wouldn't be just nothing if it makes her break down like that.
"Tosh what is it? Is it James?" She turns towards me, and I watch as her face just crumples. She falls to the sofa and begins to sob once again. I've never been good with crying females, ever. I don't really know how you're supposed to comfort them when they're crying all over the place. So instead I do what I do best. I grab both my leather jacket that is draped on the back of my chair, and a bottle of vodka from inside my desk drawer and I sit down next to her on the sofas. I tentatively place my jacket on her, trying to keep her warm. She doesn't react at all, and so I tentatively wrap an arm around her shaking shoulders, and just hold her. After a few seconds, she seems to adjust to me being close to her, and I watch as she pulls her legs up onto the sofa and she curls up against me. Her sobs slow as the two of us sit there, her head on my chest.
"He dumped me." That's all she says, and I rub her back softly as she begins to cry again. Comforting Tosh, I realise, just feels natural. I don't know if it's to do with the fact that we've been friends for the past few years or what, but it's like I instinctively know what to do. I sit, waiting for her to speak. "We were sat in the restaurant, you know that Italian on Tooley Street?" I nod, and she leans forward, taking a swing from the bottle of vodka. "Well we're there, sat at a little table in the middle of the restaurant, and he suddenly tells me that he doesn't feel like this is working out. He said it so loudly that the tables around us stopped talking, and it was like a chain reaction until the whole place was silent. He told me that it had been fun, but that we didn't click. He said…he said that he'd lowered his standards by going out with me." I clench my fists, my nails forming little crescent shapes in my palm, as I feel anger flowing through me. Tosh is still leant against me, crying and downing the bottle of alcohol. How dare someone say that to her? I know I've never been the nicest person to Tosh, but that's different, we're mates. No one though has the right to make her break down like this. She's always strong and resilient, and now she's a weeping mess.
She pulls away and looks me straight in the eye. "What's wrong with me Owen? Why can't I find someone who is just happy with me? Tommy went back to 1918, Mary was just using me, James made a fool of me and then of course there is my stupid crush on…" She stops speaking and averts her eyes. I can see that she is desperately trying not to look at me and I know why. I know what she wanted to say. Suddenly it's like I'm not in control of my own body anymore. I gently cup her face, and turn her so she looks at me. I hold her stare for a minute, before leaning in and kissing her softly. At first she doesn't respond, however I eventually feel her arms snaking around my neck, and she deepens the kiss. The two of us sit there; kissing and I slowly feel myself falling backwards onto the sofa. We lie there, Tosh on top of me, for what feels like an eternity, lost in each other. Then suddenly I feel her pulling away from me. She clambers off me, shaking her head.
"Tosh? What's wrong?" She begins to stumble backwards, in the direction of the exit.
"Owen," she mutters, shaking her head at me. "That was a big mistake." With that, she grabs her shoes from where she discarded them, and flees the hub. I stand up and chase after her, but by the time I get outside, she's vanished.
Tosh's P.O.V
I collapse onto the sofa, desperately attempting to dry my soaking wet hair. The moment I came in, I disappeared into the shower. I thought it would make me forget the kiss, but it hasn't. Every time I close my eyes, I can feel Owen's arms around me, his lips on mine. I shake my head, hoping to erase the memories. It shouldn't have happened, I was just upset over James. I've barley given him a thought since I got home, my situation with Owen has made him completely irrelevant.
What I feel about Owen, it's something I haven't felt with anyone else. I've loved other people, I loved Tommy and I even loved Mary for a while. But Owen…with Owen it's like it goes beyond just being in love. It's like he can see me for who I really am, beyond all my computer language and the technology I busy myself with. When we first met, when we were good friends, we always went drinking and we'd just laugh together. He made me feel different to how I normally felt, and I guess he still does. We argue that's for sure. We throw snide comments at each other, and sometimes they do hurt, but most of the time it's just in jest. My relationship with him is so different from any other, but I know he doesn't feel about me the way I feel about him, he doesn't love me. At least I didn't think he did until tonight. When he kissed me, it felt like something was there. But I'm just being stupid; Owen doesn't fall in love. He's a womaniser through and through and he always has been. Except with Diane, he loved her. But every other women Owen's been with has just been for his entertainment, no matter what the woman felt. That's why I've tried to stop my feelings for him, or at least hide them, and yet I've just gone and thrown them out in the open. I'm such an idiot.
I stand up and head into my bedroom, throwing the damp towel in the bin. I shrug on a pair of joggers and a strap top. It's freezing in my flat, always has been, so I pull on a long cardigan as an added extra. As I look around my flat, I remember why I hate living on my own so much. My flat is empty and cold, and there's no trace of anyone except me living there. It's Valentine's Day today, and it's the same as always. I always end up alone at my flat, reading over case notes that Jack's given us. The notes on a weevil attack are already lying on my coffee table, and I have no doubt that I'll fall asleep on the sofa in a couple of hours after having read them through. Just once I'd like to spend this day with a guy who loved me. Sometimes, when the hub's quiet and everyone is busy, I imagine what it would be like to come home to someone waiting for me. It'd be nice to have someone to be with, just to curl up with and chat to. I've never had that and I probably never will. It's just a daydream.
I sit on the sofa and put on my glasses to begin the review, desperately trying to focus on the file in front of me, focus on anything that isn't Owen. However, as my eyes scan over the words, nothing goes in. I know if I were with Owen that it wouldn't be perfect. I've never tried to kid myself into believing that it would be some fairytale romance. He would go out drinking and stumble in drunk, we'd row and argue and we'd most certainly annoy the hell out of each other. He wouldn't remember birthdays or Valentine's Day, and he'd never be romantic. Yet I know we'd have something. Something that made us fit together. I know I'm kidding myself though. Owen would never be interested in me, the quiet computer 'genius.' Not when he could have any girl in Cardiff – married or not. Sighing, I begin to read over the file in front of me, forcing myself not to think about him or the kiss. Then there is a knock at my door.
I glance at the clock, noting that it is gone midnight. Yanking open the door to tell whomever it is to go away, I can do nothing but gawp as the sight of Owen standing there, an apologetic look on his face, greets me. He looks just as he did when I left him a couple of hours ago, however he is not wearing his trademark leather jacket, which is currently hanging on the back on my chair. He is also clutching a bunch of red roses that I am guessing he bought at a garage, since they are wilting slightly. He grins nervously at me, an expression I am not used to seeing on his face.
"Can I come in?" All I can do is nod, and I step aside to let him in. I shut the door behind the two of us, and turn to face him.
"Owen, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be…" I stop, fearing that what I want to say will hurt him. I'd convinced myself that he'd have gone to a bar and picked up some blonde by now. "Are those for me?" I ask, gesturing to the flowers.
"Yeah. I picked them up at the local garage." He holds them out to me, and I take them, their sweet scent hitting me. Part of me feels like this is so typically Owen, buying wilting flowers at a garage, but yet it is also so strange. This is almost too romantic for Owen, buying flowers and turning up after midnight at my flat. I feel like I'm seeing a different side to him. I head into the kitchen to put the flowers in some water, but also to avoid the conversation I know he wants to have. I lay the flowers on the side, and root for a vase.
"Hey is this my jacket?" I hear him shout from the living room. Smiling, I shake my head slightly. He's still Owen. I turn on the tap, and grab a dusty glass vase from the back of one of the cupboards. However my hands are still wet, and I watch, as if in slow motion, as the vase falls to the ground. It smashes into a million pieces, the shards framing my feet.
Before I can even react, I hear Owen come rushing in.
"What was that?" He takes in the flowers on the side, the running water, and the shards of glass surrounding me. "You are a klutz Sato," he smirks. I go to step forward, but he shouts at me to stop. "You've got bare feet. Knowing you, you'll embed a piece of glass in your foot." With that he steps forward, and scoops me up in his arms. He carries me to the sofa and places me down gently, before sitting next to me. Then there's silence.
"Why are you here Owen?"
"When you left, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. I went for a walk and I began to think." I'm tempted to make a snarky comment, but I get the feeling that it isn't the right moment. I can see he is really trying to open up to me. "You and me, we've never exactly been the best at relationships. Actually, we've both been pretty disastrous. But the more I thought about it, about what you and me have, the more I realised that we could make this work. You're one of the people I'm closest too, and when I kissed you, I didn't want to stop. I think we could make this relationship…us…work." He looks at me expectantly, and my brain rapidly processes what he has just said. Owen wants to give him and me a go? A relationship? This is what I've always wanted, but yet, now it's here…I feel scared.
"Owen this is big. We work together. It's not like you and Gwen…"
"I don't want it to be. With her and me it was sex. She needed something that wasn't safe and I could give her that. "
"Exactly! Owen, that's what you always get involved in, dangerous relationships. You don't do steady, you don't do normal." He moves closer to me, and stares intently at me.
"Maybe I haven't done that before, but maybe I want to do it with you. Neither of us has had a serious relationship, but if we're going to, we should do it together." Before I get the chance to reply, he is kissing me. We fall backwards, lost in each other. We don't even notice as we roll off the sofa, knocking the file on the weevil attack off the table so paper falls everywhere. We don't care; we're too focused on each other.
The light streams in through my open curtains, and I wince as it hits my face. I groan softly, and turn to look at the digital clock on my bedside table. It's 8 o'clock, which means that I have less than an hour to get to work. Then I feel something. I'm resting against an arm and I can hear someone breathing next to me. Suddenly last night comes back to me in flashes – kissing, falling off the sofa, stumbling towards the bedroom, crashing backwards onto the bed, falling asleep still entangled in each other – and it brings a smile to my face. Owen is still asleep next to me, breathing deeply. I clamber out of bed, trying not to wake him. I grab the nearest item of clothing, his t-shirt and pull it on, before going to make a cup of coffee. I know I have to shower, dress, have breakfast, read over the notes Jack gave me and get to work, all in less than an hour, but I don't want this feeling to end. I feel so content, knowing that I've woken up next to a guy who wants to be with me. However, as I stumble into the kitchen, a sharp pain in my foot pierces my thoughts. I scream out and glance down to see the shards of glass from last night still over the floor. As I lift up my foot and lean against the door from, I see a fragment of glass in my foot. As I gently pull it out, wincing at the pain, I hear a voice.
"What's going on?" Owen appears in the hallway, clad only in his boxers. I blush slightly, embarrassed by my predicament.
"I stood on a piece of glass," I tell him, as the piece falls from my hand onto the floor. He walks over to me and pulls me to him, our faces millimetres apart.
"I'd forgotten about the glass," he says, capturing my lips in a passionate kiss. However I push him away.
"We have to get ready for work. Jack is expecting us."
"Screw Jack," he mutters, kissing my neck. "We didn't get Valentine's Day together, so we need to make up for that." He grins cheekily at me.
"We got the end of it."
"Nah-ah. I got here when it was gone midnight." My brain rapidly weighs up how mad Jack will be at two of his team being late, how everyone will most certainly click what happened when Owen and I arrive together. But I stop my logical side working. This is what I've wanted, and I'm not going to throw it away. For once, I'm going to do what I want.
"I stand corrected Dr Harper." I kiss him and we slowly make our way in the direction of the bedroom. God I love Valentine's Day.
A/N: So I've been dying to write an Owen/Tosh fic for an age now and now seemed the right time to do it with everything happening in Torchwood at the moment. I've set myself the challenge to write a Valentine's Day one shot for some of my favourite couples (the list is in my profile) and I figured that these two should get one.
I have got an idea for a sequel to this, with the two of them tackling their first day at work as a couple, so if enough people like this I'll give that a go after Valentine's Day.
Everyone who reviews gets their own cyber sonic screwdriver