Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars
A/N: Takes Place awhile after mya. Was being lazy so there will be errors sorry. A review would be helpful
Light Me Up
My heart beats like the beat of steady drum. Its funny that I feel it that way because I'm nervous as hell. I'm sure that its the acolhol in my veins that has me so fearless. Dancing around on a roof somewhere in Rosewood. I looked down and I could see them like little ants waving their hands and calling out to me. "Emily, please come down." Aria's voice is filled with fear. The logical part of my self is going on about how it is all going to be ok, but when you lose love you let go of logic. It has been months since we found out about Miya and I seemed to be doing ok until tonight. Spencer's parents were away as per usual and she suggested a little get together just to liven everyone up. Everyone being myself, her, Aria, Hannah, Toby, Caleb, Holden, and Mike to insure we stayed out of trouble. At first things were going fine but just after 10:30 things started to drag and Hannah of course brought along the props for a drinking game. Now here we are somewhere around 1am in a panic. I am not really all that drunk I know what I am doing but mixed with sadness and anger I really dont care. My leggs are starting to get tired, I move to sit on ledge so that my leggs are dangling off the side of the building. Looking down I can see Spencer pacing back and forth.
I'm waliking back and forth so scared I look up at the roof. I wonder if she know how afraid we are for her. I hear Mike's voice with worry, "What are we going to do? We have to call someone, what if something bad happens to Emily?" Aria speaks up she stamers, "Are you crazy we will never be let out again. We just have to do it our selves." Hannah laughs, "Um in case you haven't noticed Aria we aren't nor haven't been doing a good job of doing things alone." Simply putting in his opion Holden says, "To bad we don't know someone older that can help without involving our parents." Just then a light bulb apears to me and I pull my phone out of my pocket, dialing a number and putting it to my ear. "Spencer who are you calling?" Toby says standing next to me. I listen to the phone ring and look up at him and say "Someone I can mildly trust."
The moon is so beautiful tonight I seem to notice before I look back down at my friends below me. Spencer has her phone out, she calling someone while the others argue about what to do no doubt. I wonder who she could be calling, my mom or maybe the cops. Suddenly I feel as if I should get down but logic makes its way in saying no they wouldn't risk getting into trouble right now. I've maded up my mind I am staying put. I now have time to think, think about how I want to feel something other than the white noise that comes with sadness. That is why recklessness is helping even if they dont get it. I know its better than nothing at all. 15 minutes in your own head can feel like an eturnity thankfully I was pulled out of it by the sound of a car parking. I should have known she would call Jason, I mean who else, Mr. Fits. Letting out a big laugh at my silly thought caused them all to look up. Jason was standing behind me before I knew it. How did he get up here so fast, I guess since he sober. I didn't have time to react, as I felt something warm rap around my tummy. Without looking down I put my hand over it as I was pulled back from where I sitting, It was Jason, still holding on to my waist I was on my feet looking into his eyes, neither one of us said a word.
The next thing I know I'm in his house sleeping in a room I assume is his, well more waking in a room. I pull my self out of the bed looking into a mirror I see a shell of the person I used to be, in a mens shirt, Jason most likely. It was like I was stuck in a hazy dream, I was part of it but not really, I couldn't feel even if I tried. I walked down stairs in search of Jason, in search of something other than all the ghost that haunted this place, that haunted me. The light from the tv lite up a sleeping Jason like an angel as I stood there Ms. Reckless came to mind, suddenly I was touching his cheek, his hand came up mine as he opened his eyes "Emily? What are you doing?" He sat up and I set next to him just stareing like a deer in headlights saying nothing I toughed him arm this time and then I felt it, IT being something at all. He just looked at me dumb folded and leaned into him planting my lip on his for just a second just to see what would happen and a light lite up inside me and I heard my self say this is it Em you can wake up. I pulled back looking at Jason who suprising had his eyes closed, I moved foward just a breathe away from him,while lost in thought he leaned in and kissed me. I mean really kissed me, I kissed him back rapping my arms around his neck. Things got R-rated really fast or maybe not I really can't say. I'm looking up at him as his voice draws me out of my transe, "Em what are we doing?" Gliding his index finger across the hem of my hanes, "This is the only thing stopping us? We should stop? If you want to?" Looking into his eyes surounded by him I know I'm living I didn't die with Miya, I knoded my head and pushed up and kissed him. I don't know if you would say we made love but we defenety had sex. It was my first time with a boy, I mean man, It was better than I thought it would be. I wondered if he noticed as I watching him breathe while laying in his arms safe I drifted to sleep.
I woke to the smell of coffee and sun in my face, looking around I feel the rush of what happened between Jason and I flow through me. Where was Jason I think as get off the couch and walk about the house I hear the water running in a bathroom the door is open just a crack enough for me to see Jason in the shower. Thinking back to last night I knew it wasn't because I was drunk and I didn't think of it as a mistake. At this point I found myself in the bathroom, I needed him to know where I stood. There goes the time lapse thing again, he's looking at me, "Emily?" "Jason last night didn't happen because I was buzzed and you didn't take advanage of me. Last night I need someone and you were there for me. Thank you." smiling I tip-toed to kiss him.
Well that was a great way to start the morning. I was drying my hair, waiting while he made fresh coffee when The girls walked in. "Jason how's Em..." "I'm fine you guys."