Sonic the Hedgehog was running along one day when he came across a group of children in a circle. They were shouting what seemed to be various insults. Sonic didn't approve of that kind of behaviour, so he decided to crash the party.

"Hey guys! Lay off, willya?" he shouted.

"Aw Sonic, do we have to?"

"Yeah! Don't let me catch you acting like that again!"

"Sorry," they chorused, and then they all ran away. Sonic was about to leave when he heard someone crying.

Being all hero-like, he turned around (having already forgotten about the insult-hollering crowd) and saw a little orange fox sitting on the ground. The fox had two tails.

"Hey kid. Shut up," said Sonic.

"I can't!" wailed the fox. "I'm SAAADDDD!"

Sonic sighed. He had gotten himself into the hero role again.

"Why are you sad," he said, not even trying to sound interested.

"They were making fun of me!"

"So?"

"Didn't you stop them making fun of me?"

"Yeah. Stupid decision, huh?"

The fox jumped up.

"My name is Miles Prower!" he said. "Thanks for helping me!"

He had stopped crying all of a sudden.

"Miles per hour?" said Sonic, and he started laughing. "What kind of stupid name is that?"

"I don't know," said Miles, and he started crying again. This annoyed Sonic so much that he said, "Dude. How about I give you a new name?"

"Sure!" said Miles, and instantly the tears stopped.

"I'll call you…Tails," said Sonic.

"Tails?"

"Yeah. After those things attached to your butt? I mean, people are gonna make fun of them, might as well get it over with, right?"

"Okayyy…"

"And besides, now you have a new name, but it's just as stupid as your old one! You're gonna get teased, but maybe they'll get past that and get to your sparkling personality!"

Tails was looking very confused.

"Aright, I'm gonna go now," said Sonic. "See ya."

And he sped off, which was usually how he ended these little rescue missions.

Was he ever surprised when he stopped at a chilidog stand and saw Tails flying behind him!

"Holy shit! How are you doing that?" asked Sonic, almost dropping his chilidog.

"That's a bad word," said Tails, and he landed next to Sonic. "You shouldn't say it."

"Aw, shut up kid," said Sonic.

"I can twirl my tails, see?" said Tails, doing it.

"Gee, you're even more of a freak than I thought you were," said Sonic.

"Thanks!" said Tails.

"It wasn't a compliment," said Sonic.

"Everything you say is a compliment!"

"How's that?"

"You're my hero, Sonic! All your words are gold!"

"Gag me," said Sonic, when all of a sudden Tails leapt on him and gave him a big hug.

"What are you doing! Get off, fuzz-face!" he said, throwing Tails to the ground.

"I'm gonna follow you wherever you go!" said Tails.

And so began a lifelong…uh…well you could call it friendship I guess…

Sonic did everything he could to get rid of Tails.

He led him off cliffs.

He stayed underwater FAR longer than he wanted to so that Tails would drown.

He (sadly, and regretfully) jumped on spikes and sacrificed his rings so that Tails would follow him (since Tails had to give all his rings to Sonic).

He jumped in lava. Tails came back.

He let himself get injured by Dr. Robotnik. Tails came back.

He ran into badniks on purpose, did not move on ledges he knew were going to crumble, and jumped into impossible situations without a backwards glance.

Tails came back.

After a few years Sonic started to get a little creeped out. Tails learned to drive a car so he could race Sonic, he started building airplanes to keep up with Sonic, and he did this all when he was under 10 years old. When Sonic finally did find someone he wanted to hang out with Tails got very jealous and somehow engineered an entire plot on how to get Sonic away from him (which involved working with Dr. Eggman, only Sonic didn't know that).

It was really creepy.

Tails would eat the same things Sonic did, go to bed at the same time, and so on, and one day Sonic was checking his Facebook ( Sonic) , and he was VERY disturbed to see that "Sonic Hedgehog" wanted to be his friend. Instantly Sonic closed down his Facebook account (with his 3,131,732 followers) and vowed never to visit Facebook again.

The years wore on.

Sonic led Tails into tornados, had him carry himself and Knuckles through flight even though that was clearly impossible by ALL the laws of physics, abandoned him at every opportunity, put himself through the misery of being a werehog in the hopes that he could scare the kid away, and threw him into ultra-accelerating space elevators while praying that it would keep going when it hit the bottom of the elevator shaft.

But no.

No matter what happened, Tails came back.

One day Sonic was 'invited' (meaning forcibly dragged) to a birthday party thrown by the annoying little bastard and a giant purple machine-god-clock thing appeared out of the sky and sucked up everyone…including Tails.

Sonic rejoiced. Finally, finally Tails was gone!

Then he blinked and everything was white.

Aw, darn. Of COURSE it was a dream! Tails couldn't REALLY be gone forever.

Nope. Sonic accidentally rescued him from 'floating without a body in a weird black limbo'. The only saving grace was the nightmares he was going to get from being in it.

Then Sonic managed to lose him for a while…

He was walking down a creepy hallway when he saw something odd in the wall he was walking next to.

It looked like him, when he was younger.

Then Dr. Eggman started talking and for some reason his younger self could run faster than he could, and he only knocked himself out trying to leap through a crack three inches wide. Not smart.

When he left the hallway, after trying for a few hours to get through the door (he's not stubborn, is he), he walked through a purple portal that had NOT been there before to find…

TAILS SQUARED!

"THERE HE IS!" shouted older Tails. "MY BEST FRIEND AND HERO!"

"Oh my God!" Sonic yelled. "Now there's two of you! What did I do to deserve this?"

He was still standing there in shock and disbelief when the other Sonic came walking out of the portal behind him. Sonic turned around, picked him up and looked him dead in the eye.

"Get rid of him. HE'S GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE!"

The other Sonic just looked at him like he was crazy.

"I mean it, kid! You can't lose him! He doesn't die! HE REFUSES TO DIE!"

And Sonic dropped the other Sonic on the ground, said "Here Tails, stalk HIM for a while," and ran off, hitting Mach 6 in about 15 seconds. Little Tails and Sonic looked at Tails expectantly.

"Ah, he'll get over it," said Tails. "We're best friends after all!"