"Oh my god! You didn't! When?"
"Yesterday, at an empty hall while everyone else was at the dinner feast."
"Was he good? At kissing I mean?"
"He was alright..."
You sat alone at one of the empty tables trying to study for potions. It was hard to focus with the little noises in the library, especially when two Hufflepuffs started whispering to each other about something behind a bookshelf that intrigued you. Kissing. Has everyone done it but me? Obviously everyone in grades above had done it and not all the people in your year have kissed, but you couldn't help but feel a bit excluded. "A bit sloppy..."
You couldn't catch the rest of the conversation when Hermione came over taking the empty seat next to you. "Hello there Hermione." you greeted, looking at your potions book. "Hello Y/N, studying for potions I see."
"Yeah, my grades aren't where I want them to be." You said. You suppressed the urge to ask Hermione a question that might have turned this current conversation awkward but it tumbled out of your mouth before you knew what you were saying. "Hermione, you ever kissed anyone?" you asked suddenly causing Hermione to give you a bewildered look.
"As in, on the lips?" You nodded to her question. "Well, honestly no, I haven't. I mean...it'd be nice, but...school is far more important than some rubbish kisses with a boy who can't even take himself seriously... Why do you ask?" Her faced formed a frown of confusion.
"Nothing, just wondering." you responded looking back down at your book. "I was just curious is all."
"Have you?" Hermione asked.
"No, I haven't." You responded honestly.
"Well, if you were able to kiss anyone you wanted who would you choose?" Hermione asked flipping through the pages of a book that was in front her trying to make herself not look too interested in this topic of conversation. You took this time to actually think who you would want to kiss. This question was basically a disguise to a "Who's your crush?" question.
After going through all the boys that you know and the ones you seem to notice around the school, you thought up of no one that you prefer. A big blank just popped in your head. "Honestly, no one really, I'm just hoping that whoever I kiss is someone I actually like and not a complete dimwit or a jerk."
"Fair enough."
"And you?"
"W-what!? Me?!" Hermione's the flesh on her face had brighten and her eyes wide. "N-nobody really comes to mind." Sitting up straight with a proud look on her face she continued "I just focus on my studies, like I said, it's rubbish."
"Right."
.~.~.~.
After the dinner feast in the great hall, you headed up to the Gryffindor common room, stuffed beyond belief like you are every night. There is so much food here in Hogwarts to satisfy your hunger, you can't help yourself but try everything.
Changing out of your uniform and into more comfortable clothing, you head back down in the common room taking a seat in front of the fireplace. At first you read some of your textbooks of the subjects that you were trying to understand more of, (potions being no exception) but then your mind started to prance around in a field of thoughts, staring at the fire place. What if I don't ever get kissed? I mean, I'm not pretty enough for a boy to notice me, let alone kiss me. Soon students and some of your colleagues started to head up to their dormitories to bed asking when you'll be up. "In a bit, I'm just trying to catch up on my classes."
Still staring at the flames of the warm cozy fire, the painting leading into the room snapped you out of your trance turning your head to see who it is that just came in. A boy with chubby cheeks and front teeth that protruded from his mouth, still wearing his school uniform, walked in in a tiresome manner, sighed in a troublesome sort of way. "Hello Neville, where've you been this whole time?"
Jumping from the sudden voice in, what he thought was the empty common room, Neville sighed once more in relief that it wasn't someone here to hurt him like Sirius Black. "Oh, Y/N, hello, I didn't see you there." He walked to the empty seat next to you, falling into the comfortable cushions it had provided. "I was serving detention for Professor Mcgonagal for, you know, losing my list of passwords and for Ron almost getting killed by Sirius Black."
"You are a bit forgetful Neville." you chuckled out.
"This wouldn't be a problem if that bloody painting didn't change the password every week!" Neville defended making sure that that was made clear.
"Either way Neville, you still somehow forget the password even if it's the same one for the past three months." you smirked. Neville's cheeks became flamed at this and looked down with a bit of shame. "'S all right Neville, don't feel bad about it." you said placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Right. Well what are you doing down here all by yourself?" he asked giving a layer of wetness on his lips.
"I was studying for my classes and then I guess my mind started to get a bit distracted from there."
"What distracted you?" Neville joined you at looking at the fire.
"...kisses." you said a little quieter than your previous volume looking down at your fiddling hands.
"Kisses? What on earth brought this on?" Only being thirteen, kisses were not something that ever crossed his mind. You explained to Neville about the Hufflepuffs and the conversation you had with Hermione hinting that she might like someone from the way she responded. "Hermione? Liking someone? I don't believe it. I mean, it's Hermione. And anyway what's so great about kissing anyway?" Neville gave a scrunched up look on his face.
"I don't know but people make it sound like it's a big deal. I wouldn't know, I never kissed anybody." You said giving a shrug to show you didn't really care.
"Honestly, I think it's weird, spreading your germs and stuff, that's one way to get sick."
"Yeah, I suppose you're right, but I mean, the way the others talk about it it seems like it's special you know?" You tilted your head to the side.
"Well I guess so...if it's someone you like I assume. I even hear people say they feel electricity or see fireworks when they kiss..."
Feeling nervous as to what you were going to ask Neville, you looked down, messing about with your fingers, and said quietly in hope that Neville might not hear your request, "Do you think we can try it..." as quickly as you asked so did the blush on your cheeks.
Neville turned and looked at you, the second surprised face you've seen today. "Um...a-alright. I d-don't mind." It was impossible for Neville to hide the deep blush on his pale face.
You turned to him as he did the same. Blinking a few times, you and Neville both licked your lips feeling them completely dry at that instant. You both closed your eyes tight, and quickly pecked at each other's lips barely feeling them, afraid of the others reaction. "D-did we do it?" Neville asked.
"I think so, but that was the kind of kiss you would give your mum." you answered.
"I-If you like, w-we could try it again." Neville stuttered out.
"O-okay." This time you both got closer to each other, trying to get comfortable. Still looking down, you saw Neville's hand go on top of yours that was resting in the small space between you two. You looked up again catching a glimpse at his sweet bright eyes. Bringing your faces closer to each other, you stared at one another feeling each other's warm breath at your lips. You lightly closed your eyes waiting for his plump red lips to touch yours. Once they did, you waited a moment to see if Neville would back out from this intimate moment, and when he didn't you let pure instinct take over, moving your lips against his. Once Neville understood what was going on he moved his lips with yours being very sweet and gentle. Moving a little more closer to him, you couldn't help but feed the hunger of passion you desperately wanted.
Knowing that you were running out of air you pulled apart from each other slowly, your eyes fluttering open to see Neville's are still closed. "Wow." Neville let out.
You too were amazed at the results. You felt your lips swollen and all tingled. You actually felt the electricity so many people talked about and the urge of wanting more. "That was...pretty great..." you said quietly. A moment later after realizing what you both just done furious blushes spread on you third years cheeks. Nervous once again you stood up from your seat and said "W-well, it's getting l-late and I have a test first thing in the morning (lucky for you you didn't share every single class with Neville.) so good night." You rushed to get to your dormitory.
Neville, with wide eyes (and a bit of sadness, which you didn't catch.) looked at you and said "Oh, good night Y/N." Watching your figure leave, he sat there alone with the not-so-warm-fire, thinking over as to what he had done wrong.
.~.~.~.~.~.
From then on, you avoided Neville since that kiss two years ago, for reasons you yourself didn't really know. You just couldn't be around him, getting all nervous, you just couldn't handle it. If you were walking to his direction, you turn right around to the opposite direction. If you two were alone in the same room, you'd find an excuse to leave. In all honesty, you felt you were being mean to him doing this but you couldn't help it. Luckily for you, a new year of Hogwarts is about to begin. You loved this school full of enchantment and excitement, it gave you pride. Even though there were life risking moments that made students be on the verge of death, you loved it. Unfortunately, someone did lose their life last year. You didn't know him personally but you knew he was an all around good guy. The pain his family must be suffering through is unimaginable.
You stumbled through the moving train, trying to find an empty compartment, or at least an open seat to sit in. You were so apprehensive the night before you didn't get enough rest causing you to oversleep. With a stroke of luck you made it just before the train was scheduled to leave. Your dreams came true when you found a completely empty one for you to spend the trip in. Entering the lucky compartment, you took one of your heavy luggages and raised it above you in order to place it in the carrier. "Here! Let me help you with that." You heard behind you as you felt the weight of your luggage disappear from above you.
"Thank You…" you said as you turned to the face of whoever was kind enough to help you but once you saw who it was, your nerves suddenly took over and caused you to freeze in place. Once your fellow student finished up with putting away your bags, he turned and saw who it was that he had just helped. Instead of your hair up in its usual ponytail, it was resting beautifully on your shoulders, ontop of your baby blue sweater. Your eyes were huge the last time he remembered looking at you, although Neville doesnt realize that that was shocking that is causing your eyes to look so big. The summer has treated you both well when it came to looks.
As for Neville, he had grown quite tall, much taller than you, his protruding teeth were no longer visible for anyone to see. His dark hair was neatly comb to the side and yet what remained the same was his nervous, dorky demeanor. Shaking away from the surprise, he attempts to get some words out of his mouth to form a sentence. "Y-Y/N! I-it's nice to see you again!" he exclaimed as the surprised look was still on his face.
"N-Neville! Hello!" Why? Why are you like this? It was one stupid kiss that took place years ago, why weren't you over it already? You only stood there, not knowing what to do. Snap out of it! You said to yourself. "Um, did you need someplace to sit?" you then asked Neville, making sure you didn't stutter over your words once more. You took a seat across from where he was standing right next to the window. Still standing there with a dumbfounded look and the words just finally being processed in his brain, Neville finally responded to your question, and took a seat right across from you. "U-uh, yes! I-uh, it's a bit crowded here. The seats with Dean and the others were already filled." He gave a nervous smile, trying to keep a conversation going.
Unfortunately, it didn't last as long as he wanted since you only responded with "Yeah. My same situation." You had no clue as to what else to say to him. You were nervous enough and didn't want to make things even more awkward with an unimportant, mumbled up conversation, so you went on and drew your focus to what went by on the other side of the window which wasn't much of anything except grey skies and nothing much else except for fog. Whatever happened to the nice clear skies that use to go by whenever you traveled to Hogwarts? You missed the beautiful views that the trip provided each time but it seems as each year went by, the weather went on to become more grim and it was starting to affect your mood.
It seems like it was affecting it quite well since you heard Neville speak up your name and asked you what was wrong. You turned to look at his concerned face. "W-What?" You felt your eyebrows furrowed and saw in the reflection of the window that you had a look of displeasure.
"You seem a bit...upset."
"Oh! Uh, no it's nothing. I'm fine really. I didn't realize that I was making that face."
"If you say so." And then it went quiet again, your focus back outside of the window. The only thoughts that went around your head was the hope that things will be better at Hogwarts than what was going on the past. You hoped that nothing outrageous would go on and that it would just be a normal school year that would go by.
There was then a tap on your shoulder and turned to see that it was neville, with a sweater full of sweets as one occupied his mouth and the other offering a piece of chocolate. Although you could've easily refused and go back to silence and go through your thoughts in a loop, you did feel like a good snack would be nice now that you suddenly have a craving for it, that and it would've been rude since he spent some of his sickles to share with you. You took the chocolate from his hand and offered the seat next to you since you know you would be eating a bit more.
The silence kept on, only hearing wrappers being ripped off, cardboard being unboxed, and the steady rhythm of the train running through the tracks. In all that silence, the both of you still didn't know what to say to each other. You only ask yourselves as to why you had to make things difficult. Bringing up a topic of conversation should not be so difficult and yet it was. Within all that silence there came a sound and at first you thought you imagined it but then it started up again. From there, Neville seemed to struggle in his seat. Your eyes turned to him when pieces of candy started falling from his lap and then standing up from his seat with his hands holding on to something that was emitting...ribbiting?
"Is that Trevor?" Neville looked down at the curious looking face you were making, He was a bit surprised you remembered Trevor at all. He thought that due to the long period of that happened between the both of you, you would have forgotten things about him. You two weren't the bestest of friends but you were friends nonetheless and he missed you helping him find Trevor in the most inconvenient of places.
"Uh, it is. He's being a pest at the moment so sorry about," He looked down at what the commotion had caused. "The mess." Neville suddenly jumped with Trevor almost out of his grasped. He clutched him near his chest as he hunched over from the surprise Trevor gave him.
You couldn't help but laugh at the scene in front of you. Neville always seems to find a way to make you or anyone laugh and not on purpose. "Still pesky as ever, huh?" you smiled as you went to pick up the pile of candy on the ground. Neville looked at you with a nervous smile. He honestly saw Trevor as a complete nuisance in his life ever since he first got him. If he could, he would give him away but he knew his grandmother wouldn't let this happen. He also knew that she wouldn't let him get another if he actually did lose Trevor so obviously he tried to keep him from escaping his care. For once, Trevor showed to be useful by starting off a topic of conversation that hasn't silenced you just yet.
"Of course. What else is new?" He responded, trying to keep you talking.
"Well, for one, how incredibly tall you've gotten." Neville chuckled at this.
"I know. Everyone seemed to notice." he sat back down next to you, still holding Trevor in between his hands.
"Can I hold him?" You asked. It's been a long while since you last seen Trevor and although he wasn't the best companion, you couldn't deny petting, or in this case, holding animals.
"Sure." Neville said with a smile on his face. He was happy with this whole interaction and in the moment, anything you wanted, he would give you. He turned to you holding onto Trevor with both hands to make sure he didn't hope his way out to freedom. You slowly reached for Trevor. Once in your hands, you observed the toad in your hands, calm and easy. Rubbing your thumb on his back, he croaked resting easy as a way to show approval. You smiled at the toad being kind to you unlike Neville.
"I miss this little troublemaker." You said. Neville only looked at you with a small, sweet smile, happy that you two were finally interacting and yet there was still a burning question in his mind that he was afraid to ask due to the idea that you might stop talking to him once more. He couldn't help it. He just had to know or else it'll forever stress him of never receiving an answer that he could've easily obtained.
"Why did you stop talking to me Y/N? I mean, I know we're not the bestests of friends in the world but we were friends and I never saw you anymore." Turning your head to Neville, you saw the nervous boy look down at his lap, not really knowing what to do with himself in the moment. You felt bad. Terrible actually. This poor boy, who enjoyed your company and was left alone probably felt that this whole thing was his fault. You made him feel that way because of your stupidity, because you made a big out of something that didn't need to be blown out of proportion. "Am I that bad?"
"No! Of course not! If anything, this whole thing is honestly all on me." Look what I've done. "Look, Neville…" The one thing that you have been trying to avoid and it comes back full circle. It's best to get everything out now than to hold it off and make things worse or at least unresolved, you thought. You were quiet for a moment, thinking through as to how you would explain your reason without making yourself sound like a fool, but in the end, there was no way to not make yourself sound like an airheaded ditz.
"When we kissed...I got embarrassed. I was the one who made you kiss me and I thought that it would be weird between us after that. I guess I'm the one who made it that way." you chuckled at that end bit. "I don't know, I guess I liked you too much that I was afraid of looking like an idiot in front of you or something." Looking down at Trevor for comfort, you didn't want Neville to see your heated up face and push yourself further in self-loathing.
"You liked me?"
"I suppose. I mean, I never had thoughts about you or anyone in that way and then after that night I suppose I grown a crush on you and didn't know what to do." Trevor continued to croak, surprised that he didn't try to break himself free from you at this moment. You raised your head to look at a red faced Neville. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you in that way." You whispered looking back down at Trevor while thinking about what to do with yourself in this situation.
There was then confusion and a look of shock on your face when you realized what had happen. The lips that were once on your lips suddenly touched your cheek. Even redder than before, Neville said something that felt a wave of relief from. "Don't beat yourself up too much about it. I understand, I was just afraid that you didn't like me anymore or that I did such a horrendous job at kissing you."
A smile rose from your face as you felt the weight come right off you. He is just too kind. "Neville, thank you. Really, you're an absolute sweetheart." That was your turn to give Neville a kiss on the cheek which he did not expect.
"Anytime Y/N."
A/N: I just got really lazy at the end of this. This has been sitting in my drafts since forever and honestly needed to be done but lord, is this the longest one shot I've written so far. No, there will be no second part because honestly, what else can possibly come out from this? Nothing, that's what, so don't ask
