Insanity
By SnarkySnark
Rated T, just to be safe.
David Shore and FOX own House. I don't. Oh, and also, I don't own Operation. So don't sue. Because I only have about two dollars.
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Doctors Chase, Cameron and Foreman were all sitting in the break room, talking about the reproductive habits of flamingos. Suddenly, House burst into the room, dressed from head to toe in brightly-colored spandex.
"Um…House?"
"Yeah?"
Dr. Foreman shook his head. "Nevermind." He had a feeling that his boss had finally gone off the deep end. Actually, he'd known House had lost it for about a week now; last Wednesday he rode to work on a girl's bicycle. It had tassels and everything.
"So…how's our patient doing?" House was making himself a cup of coffee.
The three doctors exchanged puzzled glances.
"Um, we haven't had a patient in weeks." Cameron looked confused.
Frowning, House turned away from the coffee machine to look at his team. "Didn't we have a patient yesterday? You know, the one with the pencil in his arm? I remember…I had to remove it with tweezers."
Chase sighed. "That was just you playing 'Operation', House."
House frowned again, as if contemplating something of great importance. "Oh. Well then, I guess we'll-"
House was unable to finish his sentence, due to a loud 'crash'. He turned around, only to find Foreman and Chase making out. Apparently, the Aussie had pushed over a few medical journals.
House raised an eyebrow. "Okay then."
He looked at Cameron. "Go find us a patient. I don't care if you poison them, or maim them, or what. I just want a-"
House was interrupted yet again, but this time by Doctor Cuddy. She'd burst into the room, wearing a skimpy leather outfit and carrying a whip of some sort.
"Ah! My eyes!" Temporarily blind, House ran into a wall, then crumpled to the floor.
"Someone's been a bad boy…" Cuddy began, eyeing the immobile doctor hungrily.
"Help! HELP! Wilson, why aren't you here?! Oh, my eyes! IT BURNS!" House began to weep rather loudly, apparently sounding some kind of alarm in Wilson's brain. The oncologist burst into the room.
"What's going on?" He asked, striking a pose.
"House has been a very bad boy…" Cuddy repeated. She looked at Dr. Wilson confusedly.
"Are you wearing a sequin dress under your labcoat?" She raised an eyebrow.
"No…" Wilson pulled his labcoat around him tighter, in an attempt to hide the sparkly purple dress he was wearing. He also struck another pose, resulting in the fall of his feather boa.
"Thelma!" He gasped, dropping to the floor in agony. He cradled his beloved boa.
"You named your feather boa 'Thelma'?" Cameron asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, why?" Wilson asked, as if it were perfectly normal for a man to own a feather boa and name it something hideous.
Cameron giggled. "Oh, because I named mine Shelly, and I thought-"
"STOP!" House exclaimed suddenly, making Foreman and Chase's makeout session come to a halt.
"Huh?" Chase asked, visibly confused. He looked around for an answer, then, not getting one, continued to make out with Dr. Foreman.
The now completely-insane House ran out of the hospital, stripped out of his spandex outfit, then streaked through all of New Jersey. He is now somewhat of a legend. He also set a world record for the longest continual streak.
THE END
A/N: Yeah, this didn't make any sense. I know. It wasn't supposed to, though, so I guess that's alright with me.