OKAY. New story, actually, co-written. Just because me and the other are writing it in an RP, and thus, here it is! I play Deidara, Kime, and she plays Sasori, Soraiya, Chiyo. We alternate everything else. I'm the one writing this and more details, but our ideas make them ours, please no stealing. Now, if we did steal, it'd be kinda funny, we wouldn't be showing everyone. xP

I also gave up on every oter story, if you didn't hear this but I forget how long ago, my computer crashed, taking every piece of writing from before with it. Since I lost my will to continue them, I now do other things. Role-play, draw, SCHOOL, so, unless by miracle I get to them one day, never again. D: At least we have this

For ideas later, I say we don't own Naruto.

One Times Two Isn't Three, But This Is

Prolouge - Never Trust Cake

Three. . . two. . . one. . .

The sounds of an explosion went off and the facility within a mansion of some sort of Lord went kablooey. Yes, how beautiful the house collapsed under such ways. Didn't they suspect those spiders hadn't been real and only clay pieces of his own art?

The untrained eye perhaps, but Deidara's was not so. And this time he didn't even need that scope of his. Which was good, considering he was using this to train so he could one day over power that darned Weasel, Itachi.

On his signature bird he flew, he landed on the ground next to the half ruined mansion. He did this to exterminate his enemies so it'd be a piece of cake in getting what he was after, a scroll of some strange immense power that Pein wanted.

Speaking of cake, there was some. Right there in the open, obviously meant to be going to the people he just made into art. Oh boy, it looked tempting and utterly delicious. . .

"Un, maybe just a lick. . ."

He went over to it, closing up the mouth on his hand as he didn't want frosting within it, that could seriously mess with some of his lovely pieces of art. He would not stand for that. He licked the frosting of his fore finger, enjoying it, it tasted like a mix of vanilla and strawberries, and once he moved his finger over the frosting again revealed it to be a chocolate cake.

Breaking off some of the cake itself, he went about consuming it as he paced the mansion, enjoying it while searching for the scroll. However, once the piece was finished, he stopped and gulped. This was repeated until half the cake was gone and Deidara licking his lips in satisfaction as he actually got to searching.

After a while, he found the item within a vault, using another spider and a tiny bit of chakra to splode the thing open. Needless to say, he got his prize and grabbed the cake on the way out.

Well, he ended up finishing it on the way back, nothing left but a few crumbs on the plate and he took the liberty of mushing them with his finger to suck off and swallow. Simply heavenly.

But how could he have guessed that cake was meant to be a surprise to the great Lord? Point; he didn't. Once he'd gotten back, Sasori had complained on how long he took, blah-blah-blah-blah, Deidara wasn't really listening. He respected his lover, but he could really get annoying.

At least what came last was best, if you get our drift.

After a very powerful "lecture" they had gotten to "sleeping" and it wasn't even that bad of a night. The cake had also subdued Deidara for food, lucky him.

And now it was morning.

The first little bit of light hit the blond's eyelids and they fluttered open, himself clenching them closed, not wanting to get up. It was nice and warm next to Sasori, you know, and they were all cuddled up together, so perfectly snug and naked. It seemed too early to get up, anyway.

But he was itchy, he was usually itchy in the mornings thus, Dei' went to wriggling out of his hubby's grasp, which was hard since Sasori didn't feel like giving up the other. Groaning, Deidara gave a long, deep kiss on the lips to the red head, and successfully got himself free without a tongue bite to get back. He was probably mostly used to Deidara being itchy.

And so, he itched. And itched. And. . . wait a second. That doesn't feel right. He, with his eyes closed, poked the strange bump on his chest. He grimaced his face, he hadn't been hurt. He also knew cake didn't grow on your chest but added to your stomach. Grouping the thing, he found it soft and squishy, and he finally just opened his eyes and bent to look forward to see. . .

. . . boobs. He blinked, just kinda staring, and then in a panic sitting up, jostling Saso' and grouping the newly formed girly parts on his chest seeing if they were actually real. They were. He paused in his own grouping and took to staring down more and noticed something missing. . .

"Un, Saso, we have a problem. . ."