Chapter One

Raven settled into the steaming hot water of her bath and her muscles swooned in response. She laid her head against the back wall of the tub and cupped the water in her right hand, trailing it up her left arm. She repeated that process with the opposite arms adjusting her body's temperature to warm up with the water. Her finger tips glided along scarred tissue, the faint memory of their design left behind. She had gotten use to the feeling of these intricate markings permanently burned into her skin. No amount of her healing power could completely remove them. It was forever a reminder of her father, the pain and torture he subdued her to. A ghost of the demonic insignia that declared her very soul belonged to him. It also reminded her of what she had endured and conquered, and for that, she learned not to despise the sight of her nude flesh. They were symbols of victory not pain.

She picked up her half empty bottle of beer and took a quick drink, the liquid burning down her chest as she carefully set it down on the tile floor. She closed her eyes and sunk deeper into the water, letting the liquid frame her face. Her long purple hair fanned out around her face like a halo. After the long day she had, a moment of peace and relaxation was really all she needed.

As her mind ran over the days' events she seemed to linger on a particular sore that was the cause of her somber mood. Her chest seemed to cave in the more she tried to fight her thoughts and feelings that followed. She couldn't get his face out of her mind, that crooked smile and those blue eyes. She thought back to their conversation earlier that day. The first time she's seen him in years.

She had just clocked out from a morning shift at a local tea shop and was making her way to the curb to call for a taxi. Being that the shop was downtown in the hustle and bustle of the business district she was use to seeing all types of expensive cars and the self-centered people who could afford them. But on this particular day the sight of a jet black Lamborghini parked across the street in front of an office building did cause her to take a second glance. Followed by the stopping of her heart at the sight of the person who was approaching said car.

Richard-Wayne Greyson, dressed in finely tailored suit pants, shiny leather shoes, and a grey-blue buttoned up shirt. His jacket swung over his left shoulder as he glanced down at the blindingly platinum watch on his right wrist. He was swarmed by an entourage of uptight business men and touristy passerby's snapping candid pictures of him. As people usually did whenever Bruce Wayne appeared in the public eye. She watched him shake hands with several of the men keeping that small, professional grin on his face. He turned to get back into his car and as he looked up a second passed by where he met her gaze.

Shit! Raven quickly looked away to the busy street hoping a taxi would drive by. As she frantically searched she saw him begin to stride across the street. Realizing she had no way of escaping this altercation she began dusting off her dirty, tea stained apron and smoothing down her waist length hair. She was dressed in a cheap violet velvet dress, black tights and a pair of boots heels, definitely not the type of woman a Wayne man would go out of their way to talk to. And yet here he was, defying traffic to come speak to her.

"Raven!" He smiled

"Richard," She replied weakly, feeling suddenly terribly self-conscious.

Instantly all the emotions she had for him came flooding back the moment he stepped in front of her. She spent years convincing herself she had moved on and all of that faltered as he pulled her in for a warm embrace. She breathed in the fragrance of his expensive cologne and loved it more than she'd ever admit. He looked her up and down with curious blue eyes. "You look great Rae, how have you been?"

"It's actually Rachel now, and thank you," She bit her lip noticing the people behind him wondering the exact same question she was thinking, why he was talking to her. "Um, I just got off work. About to head home."

He looked behind her to the humble little tea shop, "You work here? Is it any good?"

"I just got promoted to assistant manager so I'm inclined to say yes."

He chuckled lightly, his bottom lip sliding between his teeth. "Why don't we talk over something to eat and a cup?" He pointed to the cafe, "I'd love to catch up."

"You're not too busy with, all of that," She asked glancing over his shoulder.

He waved the men away, "Oh, no I just finished a meeting and I'd hate to loose sight of you again. It's been too long."

She stepped a bit closer to him so that no one would hear what she was about to say. "For Robin, it's been a long time. But I don't think Richard has ever introduced me to this life of his."

"hmm," He placed his hand under his chin, "you're right about that. So then lets start now," He extended his hand and she stupidly took it.

They spent the entire after noon eating pastries and sipping tea. It all began as a way for them to catch up on their lives, although Raven let him do most of the talking. Soon their conversation turned to a subject she was actively trying to avoid.

"Our relationship..." She remembered him say. What relationship? That word had two, very different meanings to them.

They were both older now, matured and pursing different paths after the Titan's split. She decided now that her father was subdued, to finally have a normal life. And not the Clark Kent, secret identity type of normal life, but an actual life. A job, an apartment, friends to go eat brunch with and force her to talk to men at local bars. Well, the last part speaking if she had actual friends, but still a simple, supernatural free life.

He was the one that decided to continue hero work, and hated that fact that she was "wasting her gifts" by not joining him. He was the one that never pursued her when she was obviously interested and only a few doors down the hallway from him. They drifted apart, wanted other things in life, dated other people. And Raven was accepting that. It was hard at first but eventually she moved on.

So now here she was, five years later perfectly at ease with her life when suddenly he shows up and spews his "bottled up" feelings for her? What the Hell was she supposed to take from that?

Did he really expect her to just fall into his arms and begin this new relationship with him?

She tried to think back to the last time she had a "relationship" with someone and found nothing worth remembering. She had little flings here and there with Beast Boy who knows how long ago. They meant more to him than they did to her. He always made an effort to let her know how much he liked her. That little insecure sixteen year old she was, couldn't help but give him a chance. The only guy that was brave enough to pursue her at the time, even when she shut him down over and over again.

They didn't fall out of affection for one another, Raven just found their routine getting boring. Physical pleasure was dull if there was nothing else for her to connect to.

She shifted in the water as so did her thoughts, to another connection she once had. Regrettably it was with him, her Robin, even though now he called himself by another name. She tried to stop herself from sliding into this distant memory she kept buried, but seeing him tonight only unearthed it.

To Raven, Beast Boy wasn't her first lover.

She sunk deeper into the water as the memory flooded her vision. . .

Raven sat up in her bed hearing Robin yell and grunt in his sleep. She could feel his pain and discomfort radiate through her body and as of tonight, this was way too many times for comfort. He tossed and turned in his bed for hours every single night before exhaustion won him over. Her room was down the hall from his and whether he knew it or not, she could hear and feel his torment.

The ghost of Slade was no longer plaguing Robin's mind, the hallucinations had passed. However, that reality didn't change the fact that he was still marred by it. The discomfort within himself, not being able to trust his own mind. Robin almost killed himself because of this, she knew the aftermath wasn't going to be easy to just shake off.

She was in no position to heal someone else, but she needed to try. She silently manifested into his room, curling her fingers around her cloak nervously. At the sight of him beneath his covers, a sudden urge to retreat set fire to her nerves. She never pushed Robin's boundaries like this before, invaded his privacy, but this was for his own benefit.

Taking a deep breath she told herself it was for a good reason, and continued forward.

She placed her shanking hand on his wrist. "Robin." She whispered. He jolted forward catching his breath as if he had been holding it in his sleep. She saw how red his face was, how tired his eyes looked and had a hard time comparing him to their fearless leader. He pushed the hair stuck to his face out of his view and threw her a tired glance.

"Raven," He muttered, his voice deep and husky from sleep. He shifted under his grey comforter and her eyes wandered up his chest, glistening from sweat. His broad shoulders hunched as he gripped onto his arm, rubbing it softly. Her eyes lingered on the scars running along his back and the few on his arms and looked away before he noticed her stare.

"You need to sleep." She replied in a soft, raspy tone.

He looked away dismissively, "I'm sorry I woke you."

She tightened her grip on his wrist knowing he was only trying to put up another wall. This time she wouldn't let him. "Let me help you."

He sighed and glanced into her large doe eyes before pulling his arm away. He sat up with his head hanging low; she couldn't stand seeing him like this. As someone who spends most of her time in her head she knew what it was like to be lost of the only true safe haven a person has. She had the ability to invade others thoughts, it wasn't a skill she used unless it was completely necessary and she deemed this situation very necessary.

He pressed his back against his head board and set his bottom lip between is teeth. Raven sighed at his reluctance, being vulnerable wasn't exactly his forte. Squaring his shoulders he looked at her trying to be as confident as he was during their missions.

"I'm fine Raven, Go back to bed." He tried to put an ounce of authority into his voice, but it faltered. She didn't know where this sudden boldness came from but she climbed into his bed and sat beside him.

"Let me help you." She repeated, this time not sounding like it was a question. "I want you to think about what's causing you this pain, it'll be easier for me to locate it." She reached up and he caught her hands before they touched his face.

"And then what?" His sharp blue eyes seemed to glow under the furrow of his brows. He knew what she was trying to do, and he wouldn't let her do it. She was empathetic, she wanted to endure his pain for him; but it wasn't her burden to bare.

She looked into his eyes and wanted to remove the black leather hiding them. Even when he slept he kept his identity hidden, but that didn't matter now. Once he agreed, she would know everything about him, down to his deepest fears. But her abilities worked both ways, she had to give up a piece of her self in exchange and she would become just as vulnerable.

She carefully wedged her finger tips under his mask and was slightly surprised he didn't stop her. "I'll make it go away," She knew this wasn't a permanent solution, but it was magic strong enough to aid him for a few weeks. Get him comfortable in his own head again.

"No Raven." His hands tightened on her wrists.

"Do you trust me?" She snapped, a spark of purple blazing in her eyes. He paused, confused by her abrupt question. "Yes. But it's not just my life I'm keeping a secret," If he let her in, she would know more than just his secret identity, she would know of Batman's secrets as well and that alone had it's consequences.

"My life is . .complicated Rae."

"Who am I to tell?" She asked, looking into his eyes again. "I just want to help you." She was pleading with him now and a part of her didn't know why seeing him in such distress bothered her so much.

He was still unsure and she wondered if she should just give up on this, he wanted to handle this on his own. Like he did with everything.

"You have your own sorrows Rae, I'm not adding another one." He added.

She bowed her head hiding the warmth that spread through her cheeks. "Don't worry about me, I've been to realms far worse than anything that can be conjured in this one." She looked into his icy blue eyes and cherished the feeling of his fingertips gliding down her hands in surrender. She peeled his mask from his face and she could tell he wasn't use to the feeling of it not being there to protect him.

Placing his mask aside, she pressed her palms against each side of his head and he tensed at the coldness of her hands. They breathed in unison for a few moments and she waited for him to relax.

"Focus" She whispered. He was hesitant, slightly trembling under her touch, and she realized Slade wasn't the memory he was searching for.

"Pain onto me. ." She breathed.

Suddenly it hit her, a burst of energy that overwhelmed all of her senses. She gasped as it surged through her body, sparking and numbing her to the core. Her skin ignited like he was lighting her on fire and yet she felt ice cold on the inside. She focused her energy through her palms, soothing him as the memory that gave him the greatest pain filtered through their shared minds. The scene played out in front of her like she was physically there in Robin's place. She could hear the crowd of people, smell the sugar and popcorn, feel the sweat roll down her face.

"The flying Greysons!" The audience applauded as their performance came to the end of their first act.

Raven panted, trying to catch her breath as every thought and feeling that coursed through Dick's body now invaded hers. The warmth of his mother's arms around her was intoxicating and she didn't want her to let go. The scent of her perfume filling her lungs gave her such a strong, somber feeling of nostalgia. The roughness of her mother's bedazzled leotard grazing her face as they separated reminded her that this was all so real.

The rope supporting both her parents snapped and the gasp from the audience ripped up her spine. The screams of terror from the crowd deafened her and the crippling sense of agony brought her to her knees. The bloody pulp of her parents below sent a blood curdling scream from her lips.

Another emotion he felt slammed into her next. Like jumping into ice cold water and feeling it stab you to the bone; guilt and regret.

She could have prevented their death, she knew something was wrong but it was too late to warn them.

He was too late.

Raven opened her eyes with a large gasp. She dropped her hands from his face and they fell limp in her lap. Heavy tears streamed down her face obscuring her vision.

"I'm so sorry.." She sobbed, forcibly wiping her eyes. Her body quivered as she fought to catch her breath, she had no idea this was his origin. She knew of that accident, it was all over the news, in the papers. There were stories and rumors about his parents death being an inside job, a suicide, or some conspiracy, anything that destroyed his parents names. Bruce Wayne taking him in was probably the smartest way to keep him safe.

Robin kept his identity and personal life separate from them, for all they knew Batman was his biological father. She now realized how important that was to keep a secret.

Dick cupped her face in his hands as she continued to cry, that same breathless sob that consumed him the night his parents died. "Raven. ." He breathed.

He felt so incompetent watching her cry the same way he did so many years ago. Her name was the only thing he could find in his voice. She didn't have to do that for him, this serenity he now felt was uncommon, irregular and yet he was so grateful to have it.

"Rae. ." He stammered again, his blue eyes searching her face to see if she was okay.

"I'll be all right," She replied, slightly sniffling. "The feeling is familiar."

The image that now played in Robin's mind was the death of Raven's mother during the destruction of Azarath. Raven summoned her father to that place, their safe haven and allowed him to lay waste to it. That same stab of guilt and regret plucked at his nerves and he looked up at her in disbelief. She gave him a small smile of encouragement as if saying they can both endure more than what haunts their pasts.

He felt Raven's presence leave him and he wanted that link again; having her there made him feel safe. He knew Raven had powers stronger than he'd ever understand, but the fact that she thought of herself so horribly confused him. She was the daughter of Trigon but she wasn't as demonic as she believed. She could do so much good with her power.

They looked into each others eyes and that's when Raven felt that connection; they had both shared something so deep and personal. For once she saw Robin without his mask, without those walls he used to keep them out. For once she understood the mystery behind his icy gaze, the discipline he had taught himself to have, and the over protective nature he had for his team. He was open and vulnerable, and to her surprise, she was too. They felt as though they had just formed a bond he could never have with anyone else.

That to her, was what made physical pleasure more enjoyable, that was what made her want him.

Robin, their fearless leader that always held their needs above his. Her friend, that always understood her even on her worst of days and encouraged her to do great things with the power she once despised. She wanted him in a way that she'd never think to have him before.

"Robin?" She whispered. Raven gripped his sheets feeling tension suddenly billow into the room. This heated suspense that filled the space between them was almost tangible. She didn't want to leave and there was this overwhelming feeling that he didn't want her to leave either.

She leaned towards him and he adjusted with her movements slipping his hand threw her soft purple hair. Her hands rested against his pectorals as their noses brushed together. He smelled of embers and Raven liked it more than she realized, wanting to breath in more of him. He opened up for her and she fit perfectly between his arms, jumping a little at his hands cupped her hips. Her eyes trailed to his lips and she desperately wanted to erase the space between them.

They shared another quick glance before she placed a heated kiss to his lips. She pulled away looking into his eyes asking if that was warranted or not, this whole scenario seeming like a dream to her. How many times had she fabricated a moment like this with him? Sharing his bed, exchanging kisses and awkward glances.

He gently cupped under her chin and pulled her back to his lips with a small grunt. He seemed much more practiced than her shy embrace and easily took control, gliding his teeth against Raven's bottom lip, pressing her closer to him as his hands skillfully caressed her form. They parted to catch their breath and something caught fire inside her, an emotion she'd never quite felt before. It's warmth spread through her whole body and curled at her toes.

"Rae," He breathed, eyes focused on her mouth before traveling down her body in that shiny black leotard. "Stay with me."

Strangely she liked how that sounded like an order more than a question. An order she'd gladly comply to. Raven eagerly kissed him back, enjoying the taste of mystery and lust on his tongue. She pulled him closer finding each press and nip of his mouth irresistible. She straddled his waist as his hands snaked up to her shoulders and unhooked her cloak. As it fell to the floor she winced at the unfamiliar feeling of not being sheltered by it. But that was quickly erased by the feeling of his fingers pulling the collar of her leotard down her shoulders.

Raven jolted forward causing her bath water to Slush out of the tub and SPLAT onto the bathroom floor. She dragged her hand across her face as she shook off that vivid memory. It's contents so tangible she felt emotionally and physically drained.

She looked around her small bathroom and settled back against the tub wall carefully, as if to avoid slipping into another scene from her past. She couldn't help but feel uneasy; on the one hand she wanted to forget him, forget ever having some type of connection with him or affection for him. But on the other hand, the possibility of exploring the relationship that could have been was so tempting. So intriguing and blissful that when she saw him earlier, she melted under his gaze. Raven wanted to fall for his words but the better part of her fought against it.

She groaned with such force that it echoed off the walls, she hadn't felt so many surges of emotions at once in a long time. It was annoyingly exhausting.

"I won't think about it now." She voiced out loud.

There was no reason to tear herself apart about this, she needed to meditate off of good vibes, positive thoughts. That connection they once had as teenagers meant something then, but now it was irrelevant. For whatever reason he failed to acknowledge that.

She pulled the stopper and let the water drain from the tub as she hopped out into the warmth of her foggy bathroom. Wrapping a towel around her chest she left her bathroom and discarded her last empty beer bottle. Making a note to go grocery shopping soon.

Raven stopped mid step as she heard a soft 'thud' in her living room. She turned slowly, looking to the end of the hall with her magic sparking at the tips of her fingers. Creeping around the corner she paused at the sight her balcony door wide open. The cold night air blew harshly into the room as a figure clad in black stood at the threshold. A blue bird painted across his chest.