It's a Matter of Life and Death

by Sunnstar

The title says it all, wouldn't you say?

Hey ya'll! Any1 remember me? I hope so!! (You better!) I just wanted 2 say, OMG!! This is my 2nd fanfic on the JN board!!!! I'd like to dedicate this to: UltraSam, ToucanShan, and most especially. . . Shannif!! If it weren't 4 her, I wouldn't be writing this! So every1, let's hear it 4 Shannon!!! WHAAAAAAAA-WHOOOOOOO! And w/o further ado. . . MY FANFIC!!!!!!

Jimmy Neutron: It's a Matter of Life and Death

Chapter 1: Unlucky Lockers

I was running through the hallways of Lindbergh Elementary, when I ran into my locker. I looked over my shoulder, expecting to see a giant Goddard chasing me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw just the wall. But suddenly there was a big, scary, loud noise from above me and I felt shaking. I looked up and saw the janitor and his vacuum falling toward me from the floor above. Right before they landed on me, the janitor said, "Ruff, ruff! Ruff, Ruff!"

Oh, wait—that's Goddard. I opened my eyes to the bright light and groaned. It was all a dream. A dream that I'd had three times now! Now that was a scary thought. Then I remembered something my friend Sheen had once said: if a dream happens three times, it will really happen. That shook me up.

Oh, right. Sorry. I haven't told you who "me" is yet. I'm Jimmy Neutron. Which reminds me—I was about to be late for school! I threw on some clothes, grabbed my lunch, and hurried out the door. I ran through the doors of Lindbergh Elementary, where I met Cindy Vortex, my arch-enemy. Oh, how I hate her. Okay, I don't really hate her, I just don't like her. Well, I don't not like her, I just think she's okay. Okay, I lied. I like her. . . I think.

Anyway, moving on . . . .

Cindy: (exploding and rolling her eyes) Geez, Neutron, almost late three days in a row! What's wrong with you? It's not like there's a vacuum cleaner falling on you every morning!

I glared at her and walked into the building as the bell rang.

Ms. Fowl: Good morning class! I have BRAAAAWK good news for you all! Remember when all your lockers BRAAAAWK all got jammed? Well, the janitor BRAWK got you all new ones on the other side of the HAAAAAALL! You'll get them at the end of CLAAAASS!

Everyone exchanged excited looks and started whispering.

At the end of class. . . .

Janitor: (in dull voice reading off paper) Everybody, here are your lockers. Cindy Vortex, locker fourteen. Libby Folfax, locker seventeen. Sheen Estevez, locker fifteen. Carl Wheezer, locker eleven. Jimmy Neutron. . . .

The janitor's eyes widened.

Janitor: (shaking voice) Jimmy Neutron, l-locker th—th—(deep breath) locker thirteen.

Everybody gasped and stood back, staring at Jimmy.

Jimmy: (exasperated) What's the big deal?!

Sheen: Jimmy, that's locker thirteen! Everybody knows that locker thirteen is. . . . haunted!

Jimmy: (rolling his eyes)Oh, please. Don't tell me you actually believe in that! That is so pathetic!

Cindy: Whatever. Just wait and see when the bad luck begins!

Chapter 2: The Very Scary Vacuum

Cindy: Whatever. Just wait and see when the bad luck begins!

Jimmy: Yeah, right. What's the worst that can happen, that I'll get a thirteen on my homework? Uh-huh. (very sarcastically)

As Cindy was about to retort, the bell rang and school was over and school was over.

Sheen: Come on, Jimmy! I want to see if my new locker works!!

Jimmy: All right, I'll test mine too. Come on Carl!

Sheen: Now, uh, how do you work this thing?

He looked at his paper that read: 9-16-48 and turned it upside down and tried to see something besides the numbers.

Jimmy: (laughing) That's your code, remember? And same goes for you, Carl.

He looked at Carl, who was trying to stuff his paper that said 6-34-2 into his mouth to see how it tasted.

Jimmy: Look, you guys. Watch me do it, and then you try. Go stand over there, okay? I don't want a repeat of the, uh, 'Sheen Attack' like last time.

Carl: Whatever you say, Jim.

Jimmy: Okay. . . so my code is 9. . . 42. . . 19. . . uh-huh! Here it is!!

He opened his locker.

Carl: Yay!! All this is making me hungry. Can we go home now?

Sheen: Wow, Carl, you are hungry! I can hear your stomach growling really loud!

Carl: That's. . . that's not my stomach!

The three of them looked up.

The ceiling starting to crack in a circle. For a fraction of a second, they could see the janitor listening to his Ipod and vacuuming on the floor above. The next second, the man and the vacuum were both falling on top of Jimmy!

Chapter 3: The Wrong Right Arm

The ceiling starting to crack in a circle. For a fraction of a second, they could see the janitor listening to his Ipod and vacuuming on the floor above. The next second, the man and the vacuum were both falling on top of Jimmy!

He woke up to a searing pain in his arm. He sat up suddenly (and regretted it when the sunlight came streaming into his eyes) and saw about five nurses and doctors standing around his bed. Jimmy rubbed his eyes and realized that this was not his bed. After everything came into focus, he saw that he was in the hospital!

Then he saw his parents, Sheen, Carl, and almost his whole class, and the janitor that fell on him and relaxed a little.

Judy: Isn't it weird that a vacuum and a full grown man fell on him and all we have here is a broken arm?

Cindy: Weird. Totally weird.

It was then when Jimmy looked down and saw a cast on his right arm.

Doctor: How's it feeling, Jimmy?

Jimmy: Not that good, considering it woke me up.

Judy: Thank goodness it's only his arm though!! Oh, doctor, um, when can Jimmy come home?

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is he can go home now! The bad news is that there might be something seriously wrong with Jimmy's head. So if anything strange happens, I'll need you to tell me immediately.

Hugh: Okay!

At school the next day. . . .

Carl: Wow, Jimmy! I can't believe a vacuum fell on your head!!

Sheen: I think it was wicked awesome.

Cindy and Libby came over.

Cindy: We were just discussing your incident.

Libby: And Cindy was right.

Cindy: I told you locker thirteen would bring you bad luck!! And you were at your locker when this happened weren't you?!

Jimmy and Sheen glared at Carl.

Carl: Um. . . .

Jimmy + Sheen: Carl!!

Libby: Well, you were very stupid to keep going to your locker after Cindy's warning.

Cindy: Yeah. Neutron, you are so weird.

Jimmy was all ready to retort back at her, when suddenly she disappeared, along with Libby, Sheen, and Carl. What replaced them was a head of a boy that had blonde hair and blue eyes. The face sat there for a second, and then everything turned black and he passed out.

Chapter 4: What Was That All About?

Jimmy woke up in his bed with his parents standing over him. For a second, he wondered why he wasn't at school. Then he remembered. What was going on?

Jimmy: What happened? Why did I. . . do whatever I did?

Judy: Well, Sheen called and said you passed out. Do you remember what happened before that?

Jimmy: Um. . . . I know Cindy and I were arguing, and then she said something like, 'Neutron, you are so weird.' And then everything disappeared and I saw this strange, strange head of a boy. Then everything went black, and . . . here I am, I guess!

Judy looked mystified and shrugged. She and Hugh left the room.

Jimmy: Goddard, what's happening? This doesn't make any sense!

Goddard: Bark! Bark! (shows a telephone, Sheen, Libby, Cindy, and Carl, and then a big question mark on his screen.) Bark!

Jimmy: You're right, I better call them to see what's wrong with me. (gets on five-way extension with his friends)

Cindy: All right, Neutron. What on earth is going on?!

Jimmy: (sarcastically) Oh, like I wasn't already trying to figure that out!

Carl: What do you remember?

So Jimmy told his story all over again.

Libby: Whoa, whoa, we didn't see no boy's floatin' head!

Jimmy: Well, I know what I saw, and it was that.

Cindy: You know, this is really strange. I mean, you passed out for no reason, and then you saw a disembodied face? Now how often does that happen?

Sheen: Cindy's right. I think Jimmy's been abducted by aliens from Ultra-Lord episode number 320, and has been replaced with his clone. (long silence) Hey, it could happen!

Cindy: Right. Well, I'm going to be doing some research on this hallucinations and stuff. I'll let you all know as soon as I find out anything.

Hugh: (Coming into the room with the other phone in his hand) Jimbo, guess what?

Jimmy: (Putting his phone against his shoulder) Yeah, dad?

Hugh: Great news! I just got off with cousin Stanley, they're coming to town and we're going to have a family reunion, so I volunteered our house!!

Jimmy: Ugh, okay. (into the phone) Guys, I got to go. I'll see you tomorrow!

Chapter 5: Freaky Family Reunion

Doctor: (making a note on the clipboard) Well, there's really nothing wrong with him that I can see, Mrs. Neutron. The right side of his brain is a little smaller than the other side, but that isn't unexpected. But the other thing, well, that's a problem. This thing isn't common, but not unheard of. I think, just to be safe, we'll have to see him sometime within the next three weeks.

Judy: All right. Thanks for your help! We'll see you soon.

Fifty-eight minutes later. . . .

Judy: (in a panicky voice) Oh my gosh, they'll be here in like, a minute!!

Ding, dong.

Hugh: They're here!!

He opened the door and a big crowd of people piled in and around the table.

Cousin Stanley: Hi everybody! We're all starving so let's get the food out!

Everybody sat around the table and went around, saying their names and something about them.

Jimmy's cousin: Hi guys. I'm Daniel.

Jimmy stared at him. The boy looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't tell from where.

Daniel: Um, I'm ten years old. I have some allergies—actually, this is my last day taking eye drops!

He took a little bottle out of his pocket and squirted two drops into both his eyes, which looked like ripples in a pool because they were bright, clear blue.

Daniel: (putting the bottle back in hi pocket) And not to brag or anything, really smart—

Daniel's sister: (cutting him off) Yeah right. What did you get on your last history test again? Sixty? Sixty one?

Daniel: Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by my sister Lindsey, I'm very smart. She doesn't believe that though. She always says it's because I'm a blonde. (He rolled his eyes) So basically, that's it! Now, uh, since I was last, can we eat?

Judy showed everyone to the kitchen where they got their food and sat back down. Jimmy sat between Daniel and Stanley, Daniel's dad.

Daniel: (slurping his spaghetti) Hey, Jimmy, can you pass the sauce?

Jimmy: Sure.

Jimmy stretched over and gave him the bowl of tomato sauce and looked at his cousin. Upon closer inspection he could see that his hair was spiked up, like Sheen's. Then Jimmy stood up to wake up his leg.

Daniel: So, what's up with your head, anyway? It's so big and everything.

Jimmy: It has to be to hold my enormous brain.

Daniel: Okay. . . well, you're weird.

Again, it happened. Daniel's messy (and tomato-y) face disappeared, to be replaced by the same (clean) head of a boy with yellow hair that he saw at school. Then something red and undecipherable just appeared on the person's face, and the head sat there for a couple of seconds.

Then everything went black and hit the floor.

Chapter 6: It Doesn't Make Any Sense!

Again, Jimmy woke up to a small crowd of people standing over his bed.

Jimmy: Okay, this is getting annoying. Why do I keep passing out like this?! And why do I suddenly not remember the square root of a circle?!

Judy: I don't know! I'll go call the doctor. Meanwhile, why don't you, Daniel, and Lindsey go to the park?

Daniel: Sorry, I have lots of homework to catch up on.

Lindsey: Really smart, huh? (her brother glared at her) Well, I'm in.

Jimmy: Great. I'll go call Sheen, Carl, Cindy, and Libby—well, I would, if I could remember their phone numbers! Goddard, call them up.

Walking to the park. . . .

Lindsey: Hey, you guys, Jimmy passed out today. Is he sick?

Cindy: Again? This is really annoying.

Jimmy: Okay, I've had it. Let's go to the library and see what we can find on this!

Cindy: Okay, Captain Weird.

And, yet again, Cindy, Libby, Carl, Sheen, and Lindsey disappeared. The boy with blonde hair and blue eyes returned and then he passed out.

Lindsey: Wait a second. . . Cindy, say what you just said again!!

Cindy: Okay. . . Um, Okay, Captain Weird.

Then, surprisingly, Jimmy stirred and stood up.

Jimmy: How did I wake up so soon?

Lindsey: I don't know. . . . but I have an idea.

She wrote something on a piece of paper, and gave it to Carl.

Lindsey: Now Carl, say what's on the paper, and then pass it to Sheen.

Carl: Okay. (reading off the paper) Weird.

Nothing happened.

Sheen: Weird.

Libby: Weird.

Again, nothing happened.

Lindsey: Hmmm, I wonder what happened. This is really, really weird.

Realizing what she said, she clapped her hand over her mouth.

An almost repeat of what happened about a minute ago happened again.

Lindsey: Weird?

Jimmy, again, woke up.

Libby: Okay, this is definitely creepy. Whenever Cindy or Lindsey say the word 'weird'—

Lindsey: (remembering something) or Daniel, my brother.

Libby: Right. Whenever Cindy, Lindsey, or Daniel say 'weird,' Jimmy faints. But when Sheen, Carl, and I say it, nothing happens.

Jimmy: That does it. We're going straight to the library! Oh, and I know what the square root of a circle is.

Chapter 7: Luck With Lindsey and the Library

Sheen: So, uh, where do we look?

Lindsey: Trust me, this is in all the movies and books. Now, we have to look in the 'Witches and Wizards' section. Now there should be a really creepy and dusty book. Tell me when you find one.

Five minutes later. . . .

Carl: Hey, Lindsey, is this what you're looking for?

He blew the dust off the cover of the book he found. The rest of the kids looked over his shoulder.

Everyone together: (in an awed voice)'The Story and Explanations of Witchcraft and Wizardry.'

Lindsey: (excitedly) This is it, you guys! This is the book!

Jimmy: The only reason I'm believing this is because, one: I've read the books about things like This, and two: Lindsey's related to me, so she has to know what she's talking about.

Cindy: Let's go to my house and read this thing, my parents are out.

Twenty-five minutes later. . . .

Sheen: Wow, this is a really big book.

Libby: Ya think?

Lindsey: Okay, the index. . . . Ah, here we go—Strange Faintings and Hallucinations, page nine-twenty-seven. Wow, I just saved us nine hundred and twenty-six pages of boring reading! Uh, Cindy, can you come here and help me with this?

She flipped to the middle of the book.

Cindy: Right. So, uh, Lindsey and I will read this thing and tell you the symptoms. Um, number one: You pass out when someone says a specific word.

Jimmy: Well, I don't really remember. . . Goddard, replay each time I passed out.

Goddard: Bark, bark! Ruff!

(On his screen. . .)

Cindy: Yeah. Neutron, you are so weird.

Daniel: Okay. . . well, you're weird.

Cindy: Okay, Captain Weird.

Lindsey: This is really, really weird.

Jimmy: Well, I guess that would be a yes!

Cindy: Whoa, whoa, hold on there, guys. Did anyone notice that he only passed out when Lindsey, Daniel, or I said w—I mean, the magic word?

Lindsey: Hey, you're right! And Daniel and I are siblings, and cousins with Jimmy. . . I just wonder where you fit in, Cindy?

Cindy: (annoyed) Next symptom. You have memory blanks at random times.

Jimmy: Yeah. I forgot the square root of a circle, and all of your phone numbers. . . I think.

Sheen: I never remembered the square root of a circle in the first place!

Lindsey: Anyway. . . next one. Before you pass out, the people you're with disappear for no reason, to be replaced with a disembodied head that you've seen before.

Jimmy: Well, I don't remember if I've seen it before, but I've definitely seen a floating head before I faint.

Lindsey: Whoa, this is interesting. Symptom number four: the specific people that say the magic word before you faint, and the disembodied head you see, all have your blood. (she looked up at them) Well, obviously I'm related to you. . . . But the thing is, what about Cindy and the head?

Cindy: Well, let's put me aside for a second. Neutron, what did that head look like?

Jimmy: Hmm. Well, it was a boy. . . it had blonde hair and blue eyes. . . and the second time when Lindsey was at my house, there was something red that appeared on his left cheek that looked like a very huge, flat, zit.

Lindsey: (muttering) blonde boy with blue eyes. . . red spot on his cheek that one time. . . . (looking up and almost shouting)Oh my gosh! (she said that part in one breath so it sounded more like 'Ohmygosh!') I think. . . . I think I've just figured something out!

Chapter 8: To the Hover Car!

Jimmy: Really? What?

Lindsey: Well, I think—but maybe—I don't know—it's kind of far-fetched—I mean, the odds are very slim. . . . Never-mind, you guys. If, at the end, I'm right, then I'll tell you.

Sheen: You are so cruel!

Lindsey: Anyway, back to the book. . . .

Jimmy: Hey, can I see that for a second?

Cindy: Sure.

She tossed the book at him very hard.

Jimmy: (icily) Thanks. (getting up from the ground) But what if I have all the symptoms? How do I get better?

Carl: Try the next page.

Jimmy: Wow, you're. . . right?

Libby: That's got to be a first.

Sheen: You got that right girlfriend!

Jimmy: (looking up from the gigantic book) Okay. There's two good news, and there's three bad news. The bad news is that there are some things we have to get before I get better. The good news is that there are only six things to get. And the bad news is that they're all over the world, widely spread out.

All: And the good news?

Jimmy: I'm all out of bad news.

All: And the bad news?

Jimmy: There's no more good news.

Sheen: Well, where is all the stuff?

Lindsey: And what is the stuff?

Jimmy: Look for yourselves.

They leaned together to read the list of items. It read:

A tailfin from an orange barracuda

A small fire from a shooting star (keep stored in a pickle jar)

A bottle of moon dust

Two blocks of frozen snow with a thorn from a cactus in each

One solid piece of gold, and one solid piece of silver, both in the shape of a triangle

A single feather from a giant chicken's stomach

Cindy: (with a soft whistle) Wow. Look's like we're going on a field trip!

Sheen: To the hover car!

The rest of them glared at him.

Sheen: (insulted) What? I was just trying to help. To the hover car!

Chapter 9, Part I: Item Number One

Lindsey: So, uh, Jimmy—where do we go?

Jimmy: Well, the first thing to get is a tailfin of an orange barracuda—

Sheen: Is that some kind of plant?

Cindy: No, Ultra-Dork, it's a vicious, killing fish!

Jimmy: (paying no attention to them) so. . . Goddard, search barracudas.

A giant, orange fish that was extremely ugly appeared on his screen. A moment later the words Sahara Desert appeared on the top.

Libby: So, we're going to this hot, boiling desert, are we?

Sheen: Looks like it.

Libby: Okay, I'm in.

Cindy: Me too.

Lindsey: Ditto!

Jimmy: Wrong. We aren't going anywhere. Carl, Sheen, and I are.

Cindy: Come on, Neutron!

Jimmy: Wait, why do you want to come, anyway?

Cindy: Because there's nothing good on TV, and I saw the movie that's playing.

Carl: Works for me!

Sheen: Same here.

Jimmy: (exasperated) Fine, whatever. Let's just get the show on the road!

Twenty miles and ten minutes later. . . .

Cindy: Hey, Nerd-tron, I just thought of something. How exactly are we going to get the disgusting tailfin?!

Jimmy: Don't worry, I've got it all figured out!

Cindy: Now how many times have we heard that before?

Jimmy: (not paying attention) All we have to do is snorkel to the bottom of the river, have Goddard catch one with one a net, and bring it back!

Cindy: Whatever. Just remember this, Spew-tron—if one thing goes wrong, I'm gunna kick your butt!

Jimmy: (in a sing-song voice) All ri-ight! But trust me, this mission will go just fine.

Chapter 9, Part II: To the Sahara

Jimmy: All right everybody, listen up! (no one paid attention) Um, excuse me everybody, I have an announcement! (again, no one listened)

Sheen: Yo peeps! My bro the Jim-ster here needs your attention!

Everyone stops talking.

Jimmy: Thank you, Sheen. So, anyway, I have found the way to get our fish. All we have to do is go to the Sahara desert, and, since it's a desert, there can only be one river. So we just find the river, scuba-dive into it, find the orange one, and get lost before all its friends know what's happening.

Libby: Why?

Jimmy: Or else we'll be fish chow!

Libby: Okay, I think I know why now.

Sheen: To the hover car! (everyone glared at him) Sorry.

Two minutes later, in the hover car, flying across the town

Jimmy: (steering the car) Hey Carl!

Carl: What did you say?

Jimmy: Hey Carl!

Carl: Oh. Yeah?

Libby: Will you guys be quiet? I'm trying to listen to my new Graystar CD!

Jimmy: (ignoring her) How's the gas tank coming along? I have extra right in the box!

Carl: Oh, it's fine don't worry!

The hover car suddenly made clanking noises and stopped abruptly in mid-air.

Jimmy: (sounding very scared) Carl? What letter is the gas on?

Carl: It's on E, for. . . 'Extremely full of gas?'

Sheen: Carl, you idiot! Everybody knows that E stands for. . . 'Elp yourself to some more gas!

Libby: Um, I think we have a situation here!

For the hover car had stopped hovering and started falling.

Carl: AAAAHHHH!!!!

He grabbed Sheen, who grabbed Libby, who grabbed Cindy, who grabbed Jimmy. Everybody stared at her, who blushed, and grabbed Libby back instead. Jimmy looked annoyed, and held onto his chair.

Then, suddenly, they landed in an ocean.

Cindy: So, uh, where's the barracuda?

Jimmy: Wait a minute, this can't be right! (thinks for a second, then looks horrified) Leaping leptons! We're not in the desert, we're in the middle of the Pacific Ocean!

Libby, Sheen, and Carl looked at him blankly.

Jimmy: Don't you people go to the library?

Libby + Sheen + Carl: What's a library?

Cindy: (terrified) The point is, don't you know what's in the Pacific Ocean?!

The three of them looked at each other blankly, and then, as they heard some growling, they understood.

All five: SHARKS!

Chapter 10: Row, Row, Row, Your Boat, Quickly Down the Stream. . . .

Sheen: Row, you slow-pokes, row!

They all took a paddle and rowed frantically. Suddenly, a particularly big shark stuck his head up And snapped at them. Carl jumped and held onto the side of the car.

Sheen: Ultra-Lord is not afraid of sharks, he is not afraid of sharks. . . (the shark snapped again and Sheen shrieked) Okay, maybe a little afraid of sharks!

The shark opened his mouth widely and Carl fell over the edge of the hover car!

Jimmy: Carl!

He sunk under the water for a second, and then came up again on the shark's back.

Sheen: What? What's going on?

Carl: Hey guys! Little Bubba here—

Cindy: Little?!

Libby: Bubba?!

Carl: Yeah, don't you like it? See, he smelled the cheese in my pocket, so we made a deal. I give him my cheese, and he won't eat me!

Sheen: You had cheese in your pocket this whole time and I got none?!

Jimmy: That's not the point. Carl, we have a life to save here, like um, MINE, so we really have to get going! (he put the rest of the gas into the tank)

Carl: Okay. Bye Bubba!

Libby: Uh, come on Carl! Before 'little' Bubba here calls all his huge friends!

Cindy: Right.

Jimmy started the hover car, and left Bubba down there, and Carl waving at him.

Chapter 11: Under the Sea. . .

Sheen: (holding up a box) Hey Jimmy, what's this?

Jimmy: (turning around) That's the equipment we'll need to go snorkeling, and get the fish!

Carl: Go snorkeling? You mean where there are snapping turtles and. . . whales?

Libby: Don't worry, nothing will happen! Just like it says in Finding Nemo, humans are friends, not food! (a/n: LOL!)

Five minutes later. . . .

Jimmy: And. . . here! According to this, the spot with the only orange one is 64 miles north, 32 miles east—directly beneath us! (grabs five sets of goggles and wetsuits, and throws one to each of them and they all put them on) Get ready to get wet!

Cindy: Well, I don't know. . . but I guess the three years of swimming lessons when I was six can't go to total waste!

Libby: Ready, girl? (grabs Cindy's hand)

Cindy: One. . . two. . . three—jump!

Jimmy waved at the boys and followed Cindy and Libby.

The two girls held hands and jumped off the side in the hover car. Sheen and Carl glanced at each other and they started trying to push each other off. Goddard, who had put himself in the bubble used in The League of Villains on Roxy, and used his arms to push them both in at the same time, jumping with them.

Carl: Cannon-ball!

Sheen: Cow-a-bunga!

In the river. . . .

Cindy: What are doing here again?

Jimmy: Look, just find the dumb fish so we can get out of here!

They all scan below them, when Sheen cries out, "Look! What's that?"

Jimmy realizes what he's pointing out—snapping turtles. "Grab on!"

All of them grabbed onto to five turtles, which led them deeper into the sea.

Cindy: Wooooooow!

Wow was right! Directly beneath them were a huge mass of red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and pink barracudas.

Jimmy: Look for one that's orange!

Libby: (after a minute) There! Right next to the rock. . . .

Goddard stuck his hand out of the bubble and grabbed the sleeping fish. They all swam back up and into the hover car.

Five minutes later. . . .

Carl: Land!

Jimmy: And we got the fish!

"That's right, Neutron. Now turn around and freeze!"

Chapter 12: Orange and Black

Slowly, carefully, the gang stopped talking and put their hands in the air, but didn't turn around for fear.

"Good. Now drop the fish and no one gets hurt." The voice was deep and harsh, yet Jimmy knew that voice. . . . Jimmy turned around.

Jimmy: Baby Eddy!

Baby Eddy: (sneering) That's right, cousin Jimmy. Now hand over the orange barracuda!

Cindy: Yeah, right. We'll cave into you when my hair turns as black as your heart!

Baby Eddy: All right, but don't say I didn't warn you!

Suddenly he extracted four teething rings out of him pocket—or at least that was they looked like. As if he'd read my mind, Eddy spoke up again.

Baby Eddy: These are the same rings I used at our family reunion, but with a new twist: once they stop shrink, the steel I put in will prevent them from getting any bigger, which I think is how you got out last time. And just to make sure you don't escape. . . .

Suddenly out of nowhere Grandma Taters appeared from the shadows. (Well, the shadows that suddenly appeared as well.)

"Bye-bye, Cousin Jimmy!" Eddy walked away into the sunset cackling madly. Cindy and Jimmy started a hurried, whispered conversation.

Cindy: How are we supposed to get out of this one, Neutron?!

Jimmy: I don't know!

Sheen: If only we could turn her good like we did with Tee. . . .

Jimmy: Sheen, that's it! That's brilliant!

Carl + Sheen: It is? (only Carl) But Jimmy. . . he said it.

Libby: What are you talking about Jimmy? She's not as stupid as Tee! She has laser eyes, for Pete's sake!

Jimmy: Exactly.

All: Huh?!

Jimmy: Goddard, can you bite off Cindy's necklace?

Cindy: Hey!

Jimmy: Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Now Goddard, slowly move your head back and forth. . . back and forth. . . .

Sheen: (for once, realizing what was going on before anyone else because of his television obsession) Ooh! Ooh! Jimmy, can I do it? Please Jimmy? Pretty please with a cherry and sugar and coffee and—

Jimmy: Go ahead.

Sheen: (in a quiet voice, but so that Grandma Taters could hear) You are getting very sleepy. . . very sleepy. . .you are going into a deep sleep. . . a deep sleep. . . .

And sure enough, just as Jimmy had planned, she immediately fell asleep and lasers shot out of her eyes (as Jimmy had known they would). The fire caught on the rings, and within seconds, they were free.

Chapter 13: On the Way

Cindy: Okay, Neutron, so where are we going now?

Jimmy has just finished trying to find a plastic bag to put the barracuda in, when he took his head out of the drawer and answered Cindy distractedly. "We're going home to get the rocket so we can get the shooting star and moon-dust in space."

Sheen: To the lab!

Five minutes later on Jimmy's from lawn

Sheen: Okay, to the front lawn, then the lab!

Cindy: Oh, will you stop that?!

Jimmy: Sorry, Sheen. The rocket's in the garage, remember?

Once Jimmy, Cindy, Libby, Sheen, Lindsey, and Carl had gotten strapped in the rocket, Jimmy's parents came out the front door.

Carl: (all in one breath) Hi-Mrs.-Neutron-my-you-look-lovely-today-we're-just-going-to-the-moon-to-make-Jimmy-better-well-we-have-to-go-bye-Judy!

Judy and Hugh: stunned looks

Sheen: And. . . . Blast off!

Chapter 14: Shining Star

Libby: Hey Jimmy? How are we going to get the shooting star?

Jimmy: Good question, Libby. You see, the magnetic ectoplasm of the star will be forced to come to us when Goddard activates his giant magnet. Being a magnet, it will come together so quickly that it will slowly burn itself up. Coming from deep in space, it will take about twenty-five seconds to come to its magnetic force, which is a very long time for something like that. By that time, it will reduce from a 600-sqare-meter rock formation to a 6-square-millimeter rock formation owing to the fact that the fire coming from the back is burning it into shreds—another five seconds and it would be burned to crisp!

Sheen: (nodding wisely) Wow. . . fascinating. . . okay, I'm bored!

Jimmy: Well, worry not Sheen! We're almost there!

Suddenly, a red dot appeared on the scanner and the rocket starts shaking.

Lindsey: (being tossed around) Wha-a-at's hap-penin-ng?

Jimmy: We've drifted too far out of the solar system! I don't know what's happening!

Cindy: You WHAT?!

Then, as soon as it had started, all the shaking stopped and the red dot disappeared. The rocket's fuel busted out and the six of them fell on top on a hot pink, round surface.

Cindy: Woooooooooow. . . what is this place?

Lindsey: I don't know. . . but it's beauuuuutiful!

And beautiful it was. Surrounding them were red, light blue, and lavender jewels in the shape of stars; orange and yellow rubies in the shape of suns; and green and deeper blue emeralds in the shape of moons. And it was all resting upon a surface of hot pink, which was shaped like a giant (planet size in fact) heart.

Jimmy: If I'm not mistaken—and I'm not eleven percent of the time—(Cindy gave him an icy glare) this is a tenth planet! BTSO told me about this! It's called Zypthom, it was only discovered last month!

Libby: So, um, can't we just get the dumb star and leave?

Jimmy: (looking guilty all of a sudden) Yeah, about that—

Cindy: Neutron! We can leave soon, can't we?

Jimmy: Not quite. You see, the battery backfired so we'll be stuck here until I can fix the rocket.

Carl: Which is when?

Jimmy: Oh, don't worry. It will probably only take about fifteen minutes!

Carl: Okay, but Jimmy, how are you going to fix the rocket and catch the star too?

Jimmy: Don't worry. Right now it's 10:55 pm. It will take fifteen minutes to fix the rocket. But according to the NASA book of rules, a shooting star only appears once a month on the 27th, at 11:11 pm. Today is the twenty-seventh!

Sheen: Right. . . .

Jimmy: begins tinkering with the inside of the rocket

Fifteen minutes later. . . .

Lindsey: Hey, you done yet?

Jimmy: Yup! And with one minute to spare. Goddard, emergency magnet out!

Goddard: Bark! Bark, bark! Growl bark!

He took out the giant magnet and sat there. All of a sudden, it began to quiver and make a high-pitched noise.

Jimmy: (looking excited) This is it! It's coming down hard!

And indeed it was! The star came zooming down at the speed of light and then changed paths and landed on Goddard's magnet, quivering helplessly in place.

Lindsey: (putting a pickle jar over it and scraping it off with the lid on) Gotcha!

Jimmy: Well, I guess we can go now!

"Not so fast, Neutron!"

All six of them turned around and saw. . . The Junkman!

The Junkman pointed a laser ray at them and suddenly they found themselves on the Junkman's ship.

Chapter 15: B—O—R—I—N—G

Cindy: (sarcastically) Well, this is just great. We're stuck on here, I'm hungry and tired, and—

"Wa-HOO!"

Cindy: —and Sheen is driving me crazy!

Carl: Jimmy, I'm scared.

Lindsey: Now, this is just a wild guess, but is this just a typical day for you guys?

Cindy and Libby exchange exasperated looks and together said, "Yeah, pretty much."

Cut to Retroville

Ms. Fowl: Okay, everyone BRAAAWK! Today we will be studying fungi and BRAWK dangerous to deadly PLAAAAANTS BRAWK! Does anybody know a name for them BRAWK?

Butch: (sounding angelic) Yes, I do. There are six names of fungus: The first one is "B," then "O," and then there's "R," "I," "N," and "G."

The class laughed loudly.

Ms. Fowl: No! The six groups are Basidiomycota, Ascomycota, Glomeromycota, Chytridiomycota, Zygomycota, and Eukaryotes. (continues to explain what types of fungi go where while the class falls asleep.)

Cut back to the Junkman's ship

Libby: I am going to go crazy. . . .

Cindy: WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE! IT'S BEEN HOURS!

Junkman: I'm going to go get some milk. DON'T GO ANYWHERE!

Lindsey: Don't you have some way to get out, Jimmy?

Jimmy: I think so. Goddard, take out the hand.

Goddard took out his hand and took the laser watch from Jimmy. The six of them stood back, while the dog held a firm grip on the metal bars while cutting them in half.

Sheen: Yay!

Lindsey: Now, uh, can we go? I'm getting creeped out by this place!

Carl + Libby: I agree!

Lindsey: Hey, Cindy, you haven't been talking much. What's up?

Cindy: Well, I've been thinking. . . . Remember what the book said? The people who cause Neutron to faint have to be related to him. So how come it's me too?

Jimmy: That's a good question. Look, there's a copy of The Story and Explanations of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

Libby: Wow. Why is there one in here?

Sheen: No idea.

"Who cares?" Sheen asked. "We just have to get the next freak thing. Which is. . . what, again?"

"Two blocks of frozen snow with—" began Jimmy, but was interrupted.

Sheen: Ow! Something's wrong with me!

Chapter 16: Black Beauty

Carl: Sheen, what's wrong?

Sheen: Oh no! The pain! The paaaaaaaain! Go on without me. . . Aaaaaah. . . . I'm meeeeeeeeeeltiiiing!

Jimmy: Sheen, take off your shoe.

Sheen does so, and the rest of the gang is practically knocked unconscious.

Cindy: (in a strangled voice and her eyes watering) Jeez, Sheen, what's in there?!

Sheen: Well, some lint, a little bit of old cheese, some lint, the rest of my dinner, and some more lint. . .oh, here's a thorn! It must've fallen off a cactus from the desert.

Libby: Well, I'm glad that's over. Now can ya put on you shoe?!

Lindsey: Man, I wish I had some of those deodorizers you put in the front of your cars!

Carl: Lemon? Or strawberry?

Lindsey: Thanks. . . hey, why do you have those on you?

Carl: Um, no reason. . . just—because. . . I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!

The other five stare at him, and then Jimmy shakes his head and leads the way out of the ship.

Five minutes later. . . .

Junkman: Oh, hopeless prisoners! I'm back! With milk!

He realizes that there's silence, and looks at the cell.

Junkman: Oh, not again! They've escaped!!

Back with the gang. . .

Lindsey: Whoa… this planet is so beautiful!

Indeed it was. Surrounding them now were gardens of flowers, all flowers. Multi-colored flowers! Tulips, daffodils, pansies, coli lilies, petunias, sunflowers, violets. . . . Flowers with polka dots, with stripes, with swirls and zigzags galore. But right in the middle of that rainbow, was a single black rose standing up straight. The rose, although ugly at first sight, had an air of such breathtaking beauty upon closer inspection that Cindy actually picked it up.

Cindy: (sniffing it) I wonder why it's the only plain one. . . .

That question was immediately answered.

At once, the rose multiplied into three, each floating to a side of her. Once emitted red smoke, another yellow, and the last let out blue. The smoke gathered around her, so that only her shadowy outline was visible. As the smoke rose into the air, the colors mixed so that there was a giant rainbow around her. Then, as the steam dissolved into her skin, her five friends peered anxiously at her body.

Cindy: I'm fine! (coughing) I'm fine, really Libby, I'm fine. . .

Or so she thought.

Chapter 17: Rubber, Glue, on to You

Lindsey: Cin, are you sure you're okay?

Cindy: Yeah, I'm fine, okay?

Jimmy: People, she's FINE. Besides, why would we care if she was anyway?

Cindy: Ha, ha. Not funny, Neutron!

Then she was struck by a comeback that her mom had told her to say when she was little.

"I'm rubber, and you're glue, whatever you say goes back to you!"

Famous last words.

Jimmy rolled his eyes and shoved Cindy lightly in the shoulder; she pretended to look offended.

Libby: (shaking her head) You guys are soo weird.

Carl: Guys, what's that noise?

Lindsey: Shh, listen.

They all heard a soft sort of hissing noise: not like a snake, but like when something is dissolving or evaporating. Cindy and Jimmy saw some steam identical to the rainbow colored kind earlier, but this time it was pink. It surrounded them in a kind of bended circle shape. Then, as suddenly as it had come, it disappeared.

Sheen, Libby, Carl, and Lindsey were found to be looking at Cindy and Jimmy--leaning on each other!

Cindy: Ew, Neutron, get your shoulder off of me!

She jerked herself to the side.

"Ah ha! I told you he likes you!" Libby shrieked happily.

Jimmy: As much as I'd love to, I can't move.

Sheen: Ha! I think she meant, whatever you TOUCH comes back to you!

Jimmy + Cindy: We're stuck!

Chapter 18: Little Lords in Blue

Sheen: Whoa!! This is so cool!

Libby: No it's not!!

Cindy: THANK you!

Libby: Okay, maybe a lil'.(starts sniggering, that laughing uncontrollably)

Sheen: Um, GUYS!! We have to get off this girly planet (Cindy and Libby shoot him nasty looks) and get back home!

Lindsey: Why?!

"BECAUSE!!" Sheen shouted as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I ordered my special-deluxe-mega-new-and-improved-ultra-Ultra-Lord! It should be coming now!"

Jimmy: Okay, Sheen. We'll get off planted Zypthom if it will SHUT YOU UP!! I got the dust while you were yelling. It said somewhere in the book that if it's not from the moon, another distant planet will suffice.

Twenty Minutes Later on Earth

Sheen: (checking his mailbox) NOOOO!! It's not here! Why must the good suffer young?!

Then a small package falls out of the sky and hits Sheen.

Sheen: OW! Why must the good get hit on their head?!

Sheen opened the box and took out his new special-deluxe-mega-new-and-improved-ultra-Ultra-Lord.

Sheen: Wow, this is so cool! It's so small all bluuuuue, except for the eyes. In fact, if I were thinking right now, I would be totally freaked out by the totally freaky red eyes that are moving and not look right into them!

Which is exactly what he did.

Then, suddenly, the toy spoke.

"Hello, fellow brain-less crime fighters! I am the new and improved Ultra Lord," it began in a deep voice. "And I'm here to tell you that. . . um, what was it again?" the voice now became much higher-pitched. "You are going to fight evil, eat ice cream, and most important of all, fall down on the floor right now, and so will everybody else!"

Sheen and Carl drop to the floor as if they were dead.

Cindy: Um, that was really weird. What just happened?!

Then, as suddenly as they had fallen, Sheen and Carl jumped back up as though nothing had happened.

Sheen: Man, what a rip off! This thing is TINY!

Jimmy: It's okay, Sheen. Besides, I think I saw a 1-800 number in the box.

Sheen: Are you MAD, man! I don't have time to dial 800 numbers! I want this over with TODAY, dude!

Cindy: Um, in case you haven't noticed, Ultra-loser, we have a bigger problem here! I AM STUCK TO NEUTRON HERE!!

Jimmy: Not to mention that I'm still not cured from that vacuum thing!

Cindy: Oh YEAH. . . I forgot about that!

Jimmy: Okay, let's see—we have the tailfin from the orange barracuda, the fire from the shooting star, the bottle of moon dust, and two frozen blocks of snow with the thorns in them. (he launched into a long and very boring speech about how to get the next things, and everybody falls asleep at once)

Cindy: (wakes up for a few seconds) Ugh. . . weird.

Jimmy immediately collapses and Lindsey gives her a Look. Then, glancing back at Jimmy's sleeping and boring figure, she looked back and Cindy and gave her a two thumbs up.

Chapter 19: 6 Ways

The next day, Jimmy was on a six-line with the gang and Lindsey. They were complaining to him.

Lindsey: Can't we wait a while before going somewhere again? I'm going with my family to Big Bear in California to ski.

Carl: Yeah, and Jimmy, I still can't feel my scapula from when we were in space.

Libby: Where would we go, anyway?

Jimmy: You GUYS! We have to get the next thing, which is. . . oh, I forgot something! We still have to get that ice for the thorns. And what better place for snow that Mammoth?

(a/n: guys, I'm sorry about the Californian cities. I am a Californian [seriously, you should know that by now! so, um, ya.)

All but Jimmy: No way! We've had enough.

Jimmy: People, people, please! This solves everybody's problems. Libby, remember at Egypt you got annoyed because the heat was bad for your skin? No heat there! Carl, there is no way you can get hurt in the snow, it's one hundred percent soft. And Lindsey, there's still plenty of time for skiing in Mammoth!

There was a pause, while the five of them thought it over. Finally, they all agreed.

"Great!" Jimmy replied. "We'll leave tomorrow."

"On one condition," bargained Lindsey. "We go skiing BEFORE we do that ice thing."

Jimmy: Deal.

Chapter 20: Ringing Some Snowbells

"We're SPIES, we're SPIES, Jimmy has a best friend named Carl, who is super COOL, and Sheen, who got held back in SCHOOL!" Carl sang loudly. (a/n: sorry! Bad memory of the lyrics…)

Sheen: HEY! It was only twice!

Lindsey: (with her hands over her ears) CARL! Will you pu-LEEZ stop screaming?!

Carl: (looking hurt) I was singing. My mom said it's good for my self-esteem!! And. . . that I have a beautiful voice of an angel.

Sheen: Did there happen to be cotton in her ears at the time?

Carl: . . . No!

Libby: Earmuffs?

Carl: Maybe. . . okay, yes!

Jimmy: Quiet, everybody! I think we're here.

Cindy: Does it matter? The entire place is snow!

Jimmy: BECAUSE, Cindy, there's a certain location with the coldest temperature. Don't forget, we need FROZEN snow, and everywhere else is just mushy ice.

Sheen: Um, Jimmy?

Jimmy: What, Sheen?!

Carl: Don't look now, but—

Sheen: There's something behind you that you might want to check out.

Carl: Wow, this reminds me of the time we had to rescue Jet Fusion from Calamitous!

Jimmy realizes what he's talking about and turns around.

Jimmy: Giant snowball—run!!

Chapter 21: The Wheels on the Snow Go Round and Round, all Over My Head!

Libby: A giant snowball? Am I dressed for it? No!

Cindy: I know! I am going to FREEZE!

Jimmy: Ladies, I suggest we stop worrying about clothes—and start to run!

Then, quite out of the blue, and kind of deep voice like the new Ultra-Lord rang out in the silence.

"RUN, you . . . um, you cowardly people that you. . ."

Carl and Sheen were so shocked that they stopped in their tracks from running down the mountain.:-.O Their halt was so sudden that the rest of the gang skidded behind them and fell over. Very unwise. The gigantic snowball was increasing its speed—and size—every second it was rolling down the steep mountain.

In fact, it was now going so fast that it was close enough to the gang that they could see the little antennae on it right before it swallowed them up.

"You know, this wasn't exactly how I imagined spending my vacation!" Lindsey said angrily as they rolled down speedily.

Cindy: Uh, you guys, we may have a problem.

She had poked a little hole in the snowball and could now see where they were falling:

"A field of pointy and sharp rocks?!" Carl exclaimed. "Please don't let us hit them, please don't let us hit them. . ." he muttered.

He got his wish. About half a second before they would have crashed, screaming their heads off, the snowball and the six people inside it flew up quickly. The gang, astonished, mouths open, barely had time to think before they felt themselves being pulled off the track of up, and to the side, and then landing.

The snowball malted as soon as they touched the floor with the familiar and refreshing feeling of a heater. They immediately looked around and saw a man sitting in an office chair.

Although they couldn't see his face, Jimmy, Cindy, Libby, Sheen, Lindsey, and Carl could tell that this person was very, very evil. From what they could see, he had a remote in his hand. The remote had a white, and gray, and a dark blue button. He pushed the dark blue one, and the gate in front the door game crashing down. He pushed the gray one, and the metal sunroof slammed into place. The gang watched him nervously, eyeing the remote and waiting. But he didn't push the white one; it seemed to have already been pushed down, hard. Then, slowly and carefully, he put the remote down next the computer screen.

He swiveled around in his chair and opened his mouth. At first, nothing came out: it seemed like he was trying to remember what he was going to say. Then—

"Hello, Jimmy Neutron. Welcome to my secret . . . lair."

Chapter 22: And the Villain is. . . ?

Jimmy: Hey! Who are you?

Soon-to-be-seen: (still not looking at them) Isn't it obvious Jimmy? Don't you. . . remember?

Jimmy: (to self) Remember, remember. . . (loudly) Then that means you're—

About-to-be-known: That's right!

He swiveled around in his chair and looked at them evilly.

All kids: PROFESSOR CALIMITOUS?!

Professor Calamitous: Correct, Neutron! It is I, Finnbar Calamitous, with my evil assistant!

:.:.:nothing:.:.:

Professor Calamitous: I said, my evil assistant!

Evil Assistant: I'm comin', I'm comin', and I'm not your assistant!

Beautiful Gorgeous slid down a pole and stared at them. Sheen and Carl immediately went crazy.

Carl: Hi, Beautiful!

Sheen: Hey, my sticky pelican! (a/n: I don't know the Spanish way, so I did it like that, like from O:RJF.) How was prison? Listen I'm sorry I never called. The Comcast people never showed up and—HEY! Is that the new special-deluxe-mega-new-and-improved-ultra-Ultra-Lord on you're desk? Oh, wow! I never knew you liked Ultra Lord! What was your favorite episode? Mine was either number 276: Ultra Lord in Space, or 379: Robo fiend Takes Over! Wait a minute, what are those little jiggy-ma-bobs on Ultra Lord's face? Whatever, you never answered my question! Which is your favorite—?

"QUIET!!"

Sheen: (looking like a wounded puppy dog) Okay, okay. Man, I am so burying my new Ultra Lord when I get home. (he fell down)

Professor Calamitous: That's impossible! You are never getting out of my secret lair!

Jimmy: Oh yes we are! Goddard, heat vision!

Goddard: Bark, bark!

Jimmy: See ya later, losers! Everybody, grab on!

Carl grabbed onto Sheen, who groaned and then grabbed Libby happily, who held Lindsey, who grabbed Cindy, who was holding onto Jimmy, who powered up his rocket shoes.

"So long, Chiquita! " Sheen called.

Beautiful Gorgeous: Get back here, you twerps! And I don't like that stupid plastic toy, Shine!

Sheen: It's SHEEN!

Ten minutes later. . .

Lindsey: We're home, finally!

Cindy: Hey, I have an idea! Let's go over to Ultra-loser's house and watch him bury his most prized possession!

The boys glared and her until Sheen said somberly, "If Beautiful doesn't like it, then I can't either."

They walked to the Estevez house and waited while Sheen went up to his room and came back down.

Goddard dug and hole and looked at Sheen.

Sheen: Farewell, my friend.

He threw the little plastic action figure into the ground and Goddard covered it back up.

Carl: (brightening up) Hey guys! Let's go over to my house! There's something I got from Cheezapalooza, a bonus gift. This month's is either the High School Musical video and soundtrack, or a metal detector.

Jimmy: Fine, let's go!

Chapter 23: Cheezapalooza

Carl: So let's see what I got. . .

Sheen: It's a metal detector? That's all? I thought it would be something cool, like treasure!

Jimmy: Hey! That's the new super-sonic sound-detector metal detector!

Lindsey: Should we try it out?

Jimmy: (jealously) Of course!

Libby: Okay, where should we go first?

Cindy: First Llama-loser's house, since we're already here, then Libby's house, then Neutron's house, then my house, then Ultra-loser's house.

Carl: Okay!

Sheen: Let me try it first! Me!

He grabbed the handle and walked around eagerly.

But there was nothing to be found at Carl's house. They moved on to the Folfax house. All they found was a pair of headphones. Jimmy explained that, even though they weren't really metal, the metal detector found them because since they play music (sound) and have sonic sound waves.

Libby: (embarrassed) Um, I threw those out when my iPod wouldn't download Graystar's new song.

At Jimmy's house, Carl gave it a shot and found several of Jimmy's old inventions, including the shrink ray, the Neutron Enceplo Synthesizer, and the Hall Pass Authenticator. Jimmy hurriedly scooped them up and stuffed them through the clubhouse's door.

Then Jimmy tried to find something at Cindy's house. There they found lots of dollar coins.Cindy grabbed them and slipped them in her pocket, the little greedy thing.

But they really hit pay dirt at Sheen's house. As Goddard used the shovels to dig something up, Jimmy gasped.

"How can this be?" he asked in wonder.

How can this be, indeed. For the object in Carl's hand certainly couldn't be metal!

"Do you know what this means?" Jimmy whispered.

Apparently, the rest of them didn't know what it meant. But obviously, it was something bad—very bad.

And it was.

Because Carl was holding. . .

Sheen's Ultra Lord.

Chapter 24: Ultra Evil

Libby: Why is the Ultra Lord so bad?

Lindsey: Ya, it's just a stupid doll.

Sheen: Action figure!

Cindy: Doll!

Sheen: ACTION FIGURE!

Jimmy: Guys, guys, fighting will get us nowhere! Now think. What is the do--action figure supposed to made of?

Carl: . . . Plastic?

Libby: Yeah, it's just plastic. Why are you so freaked out?

Jimmy: (as if talking to a kindergartener) Because. The Ultra Lord is supposed to be PLASTIC. But the metal detector picked it up. Why would it make the metal detector beep. Because it's either not plastic, or it has super-sonic sound waves. Now, we have to find out which one.

Jimmy: Goddard, scan this toy.

Goddard scanned it and one word popped up on his screen.

"PLASTIC" blinked on and off. Jimmy looked satisfied as he spoke again.

Jimmy: So the only other option is sound waves.

Carl: Jimmy. . . is that bad?

Cindy: (realizing what he's saying) YES, that's bad! That means that—

Jimmy: Something is CONTROLLING that Ultra Lord!

Sheen: Everything I know is a LIE!!

Carl: Jimmy. . . is it Robo Fiend that's the big, dumb meanie?

Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! You guys, this is very serious! I repeat, SOMETHING IS CONTROLLING THAT ULTRA LORD!

Chapter 25: Brain Blast!

Libby: Something's controlling the Ultra Lord?! WHAT?

Sheen: I don't get it.

Jimmy: Sheen! If this continues on the people behind this could end up: one, controlling the world, two, destroy Ultra Lord forever, (Sheen's eye twitches and he opens his mouth to scream) and three, oh, I don't know, CONTROLLING THE WORLD!!

Libby: By 'world' do you include music?

Carl: And llamas?

Jimmy: If they keep on doing what they're doing, well, they can brainwash you into thinking that the best kind of music in classical, and they can turn llamas into kitty cats!

Carl: Noooooooooo!! I'm allergic to cats!!

Lindsey: So we have to figure out how to stop them. Right Cindy and Jimmy?

Cindy: Yeah. . . but how?

Jimmy: Think, think, think. . .

Zoom in on his brain: First he sees The Story and Explanation of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He sees an orange fish, then Baby Eddie and Grandma Taters. He sees a shooting star, then The Junkman. Moon dust. . . nothing. Frozen snow, then Professor Calamitous and Beautiful Gorgeous. Zoom out of his brain.

Jimmy: Brain Blast!!

Chapter 26, Part I: Gold, Silver, and a Little bit of Chicken

Jimmy: Brain Blast!

Sheen: What? What is it?!

Jimmy: Does anybody notice there's a pattern going on?

The group stares at him.

Jimmy: sighs First, we went to the Sahara. Who did we see there?

Libby: Baby Eddie and Grandma Taters?

Jimmy: Right. Then we went to Zypthom. Who did we see there?

Carl: The Junkman.

Jimmy: Correct. And who was there to greet us when we went to the snow?

Cindy: catching on talking slowly Professor Calamitous and Beautiful Gorgeous . . .!

Jimmy: Exactly! Now the only two things left are triangular pieces of gold and silver, and a single feather from a chicken's stomach. Anybody get it?

Lindsey: catching on too So everywhere we go, there's somebody evil there to try and capture us.

Cindy: It goes most according to who lives where—

Libby: Baby Eddie and Grandma Taters in the Sahara, The Junkman in space, Professor Calamitous and Beautiful Gorgeous in the snow!

Carl: And when the Ultra Lord became evil, Professor Calamitous and Beautiful Gorgeous had one of them on their desk with an antenna. And it DID have sound waves.

Jimmy: Exactly, you guys!!

Sheen: Oh. . . I don't get it.

Everybody glares at him and yell, "Sheen!"

Suddenly . . .

Chapter 26, Part II: Gold, Silver, and a Little bit of Chicken

Judy: (on the screen in his lab) Oh, Jimmy! Dinner is ready! I want everybody up here now. Carl, Sheen, Cindy, and Libby can stay if they want!

Carl: Does your mom have those little lemon cookies I love?

Jimmy: (slyly) Maybe.

Carl: I'm comin', I'm comin'!

Sheen: Wait for me!

The rest of them ran up to the dining room where Cousin Stanley and Danny were there. (a/n: forgot about them?)

While the kids were chewing hungrily, Judy asked them what's been going on.

Judy: So, where have you been? You've been away a long time!

Jimmy: We've just been trying to find stuff. We just came back from the snow and Calamitous and his assistant. (drinks water to wash down the food)

Judy: (looking up) Calamitous? Could you possibly be talking about Finnbar Calamitous?

Jimmy nodded, water still in his mouth.

Judy: But I knew him in school! He quit after seventh grade!

Jimmy spit out his water.

Jimmy: WHAT?! Mom, this is urgent. What was he like? Why'd he quit?!

Cindy: Wait! You KNEW that evil dude?!

Judy: Yeah, it was weird. He was a quiet boy. He absolutely hated people who didn't think scientifically, like your father. Why'd he quit? Well let's see. . . .

Chapter 26, Part III: Gold, Silver, and a Little bit of Chicken

FLASHBACK

Miss Howl, the science teacher: Ah, nice one there, Winnifred. Oh, I see you've done a project on ducks . . . again, Hugh. Beautiful flowers, Judy, I see cosmos react very well to hip-hop! And . . . oh, dear, what is this, Finnbar?

Finnbar: This, is a genius project. This is the reaction on frozen snow to both heated and natural chemicals!

The entire class laughed, especially Judy.

Finnbar: (turning to face Judy) Oh, so you think it's funny, do you?! Well, I'll show you! I'll show all of you! Playing music to plants, big deal. Water, sunlight, and an antenna. I can control minds with that kind of antenna! I'll show you. . . I'll show you all! (laughs madly)

Miss Howl: Finnbar, please excuse yourself from the class!

END OF FLASHBACK

Judy: And then the principal came in. They talked to the school guidance counselor with his parents and I haven't seen him since.

Jimmy: Hey, wait a second—what?! He said that he can control minds with an antenna?

Cindy: Remember what Sheen said? 'What's that little jiggy-ma-bob on it's face?' It was—

Jimmy + Cindy + Libby + Lindsey + Carl: An antenna!

Judy: Of course!

Jimmy: And that would explain why Sheen and Carl have been the only ones who have fainted—they don't think!

Sheen + Carl: Hey!

Jimmy: Ladies . . . gentlemen . . . mom? I think we've just solved the mystery.

Chapter 27: Weird

Sheen: We did? We solved the mystery? COOL!!

Carl: What's going on? I don't get it.

Sheen: Hey, that's my line!

Jimmy: (breaking into the fight) ANYway, guys, we should really get going.

Judy: Now?! Where are you going?

Cindy: (muttering under her breath) Some place weird, I don't doubt.

At the mention of the word "weird," Jimmy saw the blonde-haired, blue-eyed face and fainted on the floor. Danny looked worried and nervous. Lindsey looked equally scared, even though she's seen it before.

Daniel: Uh-oh. . . weird!

Jimmy remained motionless on the floor. Daniel panicked.

Daniel: (shaking the limp body) Come on, weird, weird, WEIRD!

Stanley puts his hand on Daniel's shoulder, signaling him to calm down.

Libby: (worriedly) How are we going to go now?

Cindy: It's okay. I can drive the hover car. Come on everyone!

She walked confidently to the garage. Daniel and Lindsey ran after her, Daniel carrying Jimmy over his shoulder. Libby, Carl, and Sheen follow reluctantly, with skeptical looks on their faces.

Cindy: (sitting down in the driver's seat and smiling) Now, this can't be too hard, can it?

Her gaze travels over the number on buttons, pulleys, and levers, and her confidence and her smile both fade.

Sheen: Um, where are we going again?

Cindy: You're breaking my concentration!

Libby: Well, where ARE we going?

Cindy: The jewelry store. Now, according to my calculations, the closest one from here with the most gold and silver is a store called Fine Jewelry in Sugarville . . . . Arizona.

Everyone: ARIZONA?!

Cindy: (testily) Yes, Arizona. Now, what are we waiting for? Let's go!

She pushes a random blue button, and the hover car lifts shakily from the ground, so she sits back in her seat with her head resting in her arms. The hover car rises slowly, pauses, then zooms at an unexpected speed northwest of the town. Cindy nearly has a heart attack as she jumps up and fumbles frantically with the controls. They fly over half of Texas and most of New Mexico in forty minutes. All the kids are hanging onto their chairs for dear life as they speed through the sky going 80 MPH.

Then, suddenly, the hover car slows down for a solid minute (Cindy breaths a sigh of relief) and then speeds right back up again. However, it's running out of gas. They all plummet toward the jagged-rock-covered ground!

Libby: (her hair flying) Girl, if we survive this and you somehow get your driver's license, I'm takin' the bus.

Now they're about six feet from the ground. Cindy stops pushing, pulling, and hammering on things and hangs onto the bottom on her seat and squeezes her eyes shut.

Chapter 28: REALLY Fine Jewelry

And then out of nowhere, a shaking finger pushes a big, bright red button with a bold white "E" printed on it. The hover car skids to a stop in mid-air, and starts cruising along slowly. Cindy breaths another sigh of relief, this time followed by everyone else. Cindy hears a throat-clearing and spins around to face an angry Jimmy.

Jimmy: WHAT do you think you're doing?!

Cindy: (meekly) Driving the hover car?

Cindy: Hey, what are you doing up?

Jimmy: Saving your butt, that's what I'm doing! (pauses) No, I woke up about thirty seconds ago—luckily for you—recovering from another one of your 'weird' attacks, thank you very much!

Cindy: (defensively) Hey, it was an accident! And besides, Daniel tried really hard to wake you up!

Jimmy: (turning to face Daniel) Really? But how did you know how?

Daniel: Because I'm—

Lindsey cut him off. "Because he had a lucky guess!"

She glared at her brother.

Daniel: Oh, um, right.

The rest of them stared at Jimmy's cousins confusedly.

Lindsey: Um, well, we're here!

Indeed, the hover car was slowing down even more and finally stopped, and everyone jumped out and walked in the store. As the door closed behind them, they heard a tinkling sound and looked up to see a bell.

"I'll be there in a minute!" a voice called from the storage room.

A minute was all they needed—to take in every single thing in the store. There was everything in there. Necklaces, bracelets, rings, earrings, anklets, and more. And the colors—there was gold, silver, and all the stones: diamonds, sapphires, pearls, amethysts, rubies, turquoise, garnets, aquamarines, emeralds, moonstones, alexandrite, peridots, tourmalines, moonstones, topazes, citrines, tanzanite, zircons, and more.

Needless to say, Jimmy and gang were agape, mouths wide open, staring.

Manager: (dusting himself off) Hello, kids!

Chapter 29: Riches

They turned around to see a brown-haired, brown-eyed middle-aged man, smiling at them.

Manager: Hi. I'm Mr. Chytts, the store manager. How can I help you children?

Jimmy: Um, we're looking for t—

Mr. Chytts: (smiling) Two triangle-shaped pieces of gold and silver?

Jimmy: Yes—no—I mean, yes—how'd you know?

Mr. Chytts: I had a little feeling . . . well, look around! If there's anything you want, just ask.

So everyone combed the enormous store to find what they were looking for. Finally, they heard a cry from Cindy.

Cindy: Oh my gosh! Guys, over here!

The rest of them hurried over to where Cindy was standing and found out what she was screaming about.

She was looking at two twin necklaces, each with a triangle the size of the "G," "B," "Y," "H," "N," and "V" keys on the computer put together. One was silver, and the other was gold. Each was on the opposite color chain.

Mr. Chytts: Well?

Jimmy, Carl, Sheen, Libby, Cindy, Lindsey, and Daniel jumped. They hadn't noticed Mr. Chytts standing over and watching them.

Daniel: We'll take it!

Mr. Chytts: Okay . . . that'll be $134.67!

Lindsey: Um—what if we just take the charm, not the chains?

Mr. Chytts: Sure. That's $64.08.

Cindy, looking annoyed (or pained, it was hard to tell which) and took her mom's credit card out of her pocket.

Mr. Chytts: Thank you. The store is now closed, I have to go home. My son gets mad when I'm not there in time. Thank you!

He walked out the door.

Sheen: That was weird—what's his hurry?

Jimmy: I don't know—but we're gunna find out! Here's what we'll do . . . .

Chapter 30: The Golden Problem

Libby: (holding the silver one) Ooooh, aaaah! This is beautiful!

Lindsey: (holding the gold one) Wow . . . it's amazing!

Cindy: Yeah, well, you guys owe me big time for this.

Jimmy: Guys, concentrate! We're trying to follow Mr. Chytts!

Carl: Oh . . . so THAT'S what we're doing!

Jimmy: (testily) YES, Carl, that's what we were doing!

Jimmy: Now QUIET, people!

They stop next to a bush, and suddenly Mr. Chytts spun around suspiciously: everybody ducked. He turned back around, frowning.

Ten minutes later, they all arrived at a huge mansion.

Lindsey: THIS is where he lives?!

Cindy: Hey . . . why does this place look so familiar?

Sheen: Let's think . . . do we know any weird, rich boys that live in a huge mansion and like to boss their dad around? (stops for five seconds) Nope, doesn't ring a bell!

Mr. Chytts turned around again, and then rang the doorbell. A butler opened the door and led him in. Jimmy, Cindy, Libby, Sheen, Lindsey, Daniel, and Carl, after a moment, knocked on the door quickly and quietly.

"Hello, and welcome to the mansion, property of the—"

Jimmy: Yeah, yeah, can we just come in please, Mister. . . . —?

Butler: My name is Blix. Now please come in.

Cindy: THANK you.

After about five or ten minutes of searching around the house for Mr. Chytts—through the ice cream parlor, the Purple Flurp station, the battle arena, and more, they were ready to give up. Finally, though, they caught him on his way to the screening room.

In risk of being found out, the Jimmy and the gang didn't dare open the door even more—but they should have. As they peeked through the space, Daniel silently pointed out an eleven year old hand, reaching towards Mr. Chytts, with a big stack of dollar bills in it.

"Uh oh—" Lindsey muttered: Mr. Chytts was turning around and heading toward the door. "RUN!" Lindsey hissed.

So they ran to the first place they saw: the kitchen. While Carl was happily devouring anything and everything he could get his hands on, the rest of them were staring apprehensively on two of the three doors in front of them, expecting one to blast open any minute. It didn't.

However, the door behind them did. As it slammed open and hit the wall with abang, Cindy, Jimmy, Sheen, Libby, Carl, Daniel, and Lindsey jumped and gasped. (In fact, Carl jumped so high that when he landed on the floor again, they could all feel the ground shake.)

"I swore I'd pursue you with everlasting vengeance, Neutron! And now, this is my chance! Mwahahahahahaha!"

Slowly, carefully, just as they had done with Baby Eddie and Grandma Taters, they put their hands up. And suddenly, Jimmy spun around to see who was talking to him. The rest of the kids followed suit.

They gasped.

Chapter 31: Chytts? I Don't Think So

J + C + L + S + Ca + D + Li: Eustace Strytch?!

Jimmy: (to Danny and Lindsey) Hey, how do you know him?

Lindsey: He's . . . an old friend of ours.

When Eustace continued to look confused at Jimmy's cousins, Cindy said, "What do you want this time, jerk?"

Eustace: To get back at Jimmy!
Jimmy: Well, that's wonderful, Blazer Boy. But why is Mr. Chytts here?

Eustace sighed. "You know, for a genius, you're awfully dim-witted. Look, 'Chytts' is just a 'Strytch' with the letters rearranged. I set you up to come here so I can trap you! Hahahahahahaha!"

Jimmy: (muttering) Not if I can help it. (out loud) Hey Eustace, there's a cute girl that just went by!

Eustace: Huh? Where?! (turns around and the gang runs for it) HEY! Come back here!

All the kids ran. They jogged toward a door labeled "Eustace's Room," shrugged, and went in the hugest room they'd ever seen and closed the door.

Lindsey: 'Kay, guys, we need at plan.

Sheen: I say we pin him to the floor and tickle him until he laughs so hard that he explodes!

The others stare at him and then continue talking. "Jimmy, come on, do a brain blast!' Libby suggested.

Jimmy: Think, think, think. . . .

The camera zooms in on his brain. It shows their previous meeting with Eustace. He was flirting with Cindy, Cindy was laughing, and Jimmy was mad. Then there was Jimmy spraying the Love Potion on Beautiful Gorgeous and The Junkman. The camera zooms out of him brain.

"Brain blast!" Jimmy announced. "Here's the plan. . . ."

Chapter 32: Good Ol' Times

Cindy: (in her best romance-voice) Hi Eustace!

Eustace: Oh, hello, Cynthia. How did you get out? Oh, never mind, how may I help you?

Cindy: Well, I have a question.

Eustace: Yes?

Cindy: Please, come with me into the, um, points to a random door what room is this again?

Eustace: The. . . backyard?

Cindy: Right, right. Please come with me into the backyard.

Eustace: Well, okay. If you say so!

While Cindy is directing Eustace out of the house, Jimmy and the rest of the gang quickly tiptoe out of the house. As they reached the front door, Libby sighed with relief, and Carl screamed.

Lindsey and Jimmy: What? What?

Carl: Oh, nothing. This is just usually the part where we get caught and get in trouble.

Daniel glared at him, in the exact way that either Jimmy or Cindy would. Before Carl attracted any more attention, they snuck out the door.

Eustace: So, um, Cynthia, why did you bring me here again?

Cindy: Well, you know, because, uh–oh, oops, I have to go to the bathroom. Be back in a sec!

She ran into the house before he could say anything, and suck to the door, which, in this huge house, took nearly five minutes.

"What took so long?" Jimmy demanded as they walked back to the hover car and went back to Retro-ville. (Don't forget, they were still in Arizona!)

"Eustace is a big talker," Cindy replied, panting.

"Well, everything went according to plan anyway!" Lindsey said bracingly, trying to prevent any physical harm.

Sheen: We had a plan? Oh! Yeah, of course! A plan! Which was, what, again?

Jimmy: Cindy was going to distract Eustace, because he used to like her so much, and get him as far away from his room as possible, and then we could get out without noticing. Remember, Sheen?

Sheen: Oh yeah! Wait, no. . . .

Cindy: UGH, whatever.

Libby: Hey Jimmy, still got all those ingredients in the glove compartment?

Jimmy: Yup, right here! All we need is the chicken feather.

Daniel: What ingredients?

Jimmy started to explain the vacuum incident, and the orders of "The Stories and Explanations of Witchcraft and Wizardry," while Sheen scooted further down is his seat to prepare for a boring-Jimmy-nap. . . .

Later in Retroville. . . .

Danny: (walking in Jimmy's front door with his cousin) So you needed to get all those things just to cure yourself? Wow, weird.

The second he said that, he clamped his hands over his mouth, but—too late.

As everything went out of focus, Jimmy blinked, and again he saw the young blonde boy with blue eyes in front of his. This boy looked very familiar, and also a lot like him—no, like Cindy—well, Jimmy recognized him as a mixture of both him and Cindy. A huge wave of realization washed over him before he blinked once more and everything went black as he hit the floor with a bang.

Chapter 33: The Gem of Mystery

"Why does this keep happening?" Sheen asked.

Cindy: Because someone keeps saying 'weird," you weirdo!

Lindsey: This is just getting worse. Each time we say it, he falls asleep for a longer time!

As if to disprove her point, Jimmy suddenly stirred and sat up.

"Guys!" he shrieked, scaring his cousins out of their wits.

Libby: What?! What?!

Jimmy: You know that boy I said keeps appearing when I faint?

They all nodded.

Jimmy: That boy is Daniel!

Cindy, Libby, and Sheen's jaws dropped. Carl wasn't paying attention, he was cleaning his belly button lint. Jimmy cleared his throat, and Carl jumped and said, "Oh, um, right." He dropped his jaw as well.

Jimmy: What's the matter, guys?

His cousins didn't look the least bit surprised.

Daniel: (to Lindsey) Okay, we might as well tell them now.

Lindsey: (stubbornly) No!

Libby: Please?

Lindsey: Uh-uh. My lips are sealed

Daniel: Come on, we have to tell them!

Cindy: (in a soft voice) . . . Please?

Hearing Cindy sound like that was what made Lindsey finally give in.

Lindsey: Oh, all right. . . for Cindy. (to Daniel) Ready?

Daniel: On three.

Slowly, they each took the ring on their first fingers that nobody had noticed before. The gem in the middle of it was glowing a soft, light green.

Lindsey: One, two. . . three.

At once, at the same time, they held their rings in the air above their heads and pushed the gem with their other hand.

And then, there was a loud BEEP, and a whirlwind of air appeared out of no where, starting from their ring at the top, making its way to their feet, and surrounded them and blocked them completely from Jimmy, Cindy, Sheen, Carl, and Libby's view.

Chapter 34: We're the Kids in America?

Jimmy: (with a dropped jaw) How did you— what are you— where did you get— why do you have— what are— when did you— how come we— when were you— since when did you— what?!

Cindy: Are you planning to finish any of these sentences?

Jimmy: Yes I am.

Sheen high-fived him and he took a deep breath. "How did you do that? What are you doing? Where did you get those rings? Why do you have those rings? What ARE they, exactly? When did you get them? How come we never noticed them before? When were you planning on telling us about them? Since when did you have them? What?!" he demanded from Daniel and Lindsey.

Only one problem—Daniel and Lindsey were no longer there!

When the wind-tornado ended at their feet, they had transformed. They weren't Daniel and Lindsey anymore. Instead, they were adults!

Daniel still had blonde hair and blue eyes. But his hair was much longer than before (when it was Sheen-style), nearly to his shoulders. He was almost a head taller than Jimmy. He was wearing the same clothes as before: a Cavaliers basketball team jersey, and matching shorts with sneakers.

But Lindsey looked unrecognizable. Her waist-length, corkscrew-curls, bang-less golden-blonde hair had shortened to barely above her elbows, stick straight, bending bangs to her eyebrows, and pitch black. Her eyes were emerald-green, matching Cindy's exactly, except the contrast to her hair made them seem a shocking several shades darker. She, unlike Daniel, was wearing a completely different outfit: a short-sleeved lavender shirt, and dark blue jean kapris with pink flip flops. She was four inches taller than her brother, which made her about a head and a quarter taller than Jimmy.

Jimmy's jaw was already dangling past dropping point, but at Lindsey's next statement made his mouth nearly touch the floor.

Lindsey turned to face Jimmy:

"Hi, dad."

Chapter 35: We're Married?!

"DAD?!" said Sheen, Libby, Cindy, and Carl. Jimmy didn't say anything for a moment. Then he spoke.

Jimmy: Oh, ha ha! That's a good joke. Now seriously, where are Daniel and Lindsey?

He pushed them aside and looked behind them, as though trying to find his real cousins. "Daniel, Lindsey, this was very funny, but you can come out now!" he called.

Daniel: Um, Jimmy—I mean dad—we are Daniel and Lindsey. And we're really you're kids. You're really our dad. Get it?

Jimmy: No, not really. . . . Hey, if I'm your 'so called dad,' where's your 'so called mom?'

Daniel: Right here.

Jimmy: What?! Okay, I don't get this.

Lindsey took two bracelets off her right wrist and walked over to Jimmy.

"See, this one says Lindsey Neutron—" she dangled the first band in front of his face annoyingly—"and this one—" she held this one still to show him the letters on it—"says—"

"CINDY NEUTRON?!" Cindy shrieked, reading over his shoulder.

Jimmy laughed again and watched Daniel clip the bracelet onto his "mom's" wrist.

Jimmy: Okay, stop! You probably just got those done at the jewelry store. I mean, all you do is get two strings and letter beads. It only costs like, three dollars a letter. Not that hard to prank us with!
Lindsey: Oh yeah? Well you think THIS cost three dollars?

She slipped her hand into her pants pocket and pulled out a ring with a flashing, sparkling diamond and the top.

Libby: Oh—my—god. That looks like a—

"Wedding ring." Cindy and Jimmy said this together in a trance-like state.

Lindsey walked over to behind Cindy, gave her a hug, and put the ring on her fourth finger. She still had not moved her own finger from over the ring.

Jimmy: Wh-where did you get that?

He still had no idea what was going on, but that ring DEFINITELY cost more than three bucks.

"From you," Daniel said gently.

Now Lindsey took off her finger to reveal the inion on the diamond.

Cindy: To Cindy, with love from. . . JIMMY?!

Sheen: Whoa, Jimmy! That's some fine jewelry! Where'd you get the big bucks to buy that?

Carl: Hey Jimmy, welcome to the got-kids club! Hey, can you name me their godfather?

Sheen: What? No, I wanted to be their godfather!

Jimmy: Wait, so if I'm your father, and Cindy's your mother, does that mean we're. . . ."

Lindsey went in back of Cindy and pushed her. Daniel did the same to Jimmy. When they were finally standing four inches apart, Daniel took Jimmy's hand, and Lindsey took Cindy's hand, and put them together.

Daniel+Lindsey: Married!

Libby: Man, for a kid with an IQ four times bigger than his height, you sure are slow!

Jimmy+Cindy: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Chapter 36: A Wary Warning

Lindsey: Yes, you guys are married. In the future, that is.

Sheen: Speaking of the future . . . how the heck did you guys get here?!

Lindsey: Good question.

Daniel: You see, when you guys visited our time last, and repaired the chrono-arch, Dad—

(He nudged Jimmy, who was nodding and remembering the day of Libby's birthday.)

Daniel: —began to be his old, scientific self again. So by the time Lindsey and I were born, he was a total nutcase science geek again!

Sheen and Carl cracked up at that (Jimmy didn't), and Daniel continued.

Daniel: But then there came that one horrible day. I was totally bored, and all I had to do was math homework, so of course I was desperate to something. I went in the attic and looked through our old, dusty boxes. One of them was labeled 'Video Tapes.' Inside that were a bunch of tapes, but one of them jumped out at me; it said 'THE FIFTH GRADE INCIDENT' in a big sharpie on it. So I put that on TV and watched it.

He paused, shuddering at the memories.

Daniel: Apparently, someone had filmed this big fight between you guys as the age you are now—

(He pointed at Jimmy and his friends, except for Lindsey)

Daniel: —and some weirdos called the 'League of Villains.' Also, there was this huge chicken that you guys were climbing. But at that point, the omlet-in-a-glass, who looked like the leader, caught you somehow and imprisoned you in jail or something.

Daniel: Then he made this really long, boring speech about how he caught you. It was so boring a fell asleep., But then I woke up ten minutes later and the egg guy was STILL talking. He was saying something about 'if you had only decided not to attack, you would have gotten the feather and made the soup' and checking a huge clock that looked like a mini-Big Ben. All of a sudden it chimed midnight, and Dad fell on his back with his eyes closed, and to this day I don't know how he survived.

Chapter 37: Long Reading

A long silence followed his pronouncement. Finally Lindsey broke it.

Lindsey: It's true. And that's why we came here. Stanley is robot, we programmed his to go back to the future after the first few days. But Daniel and I are here to help you stop that evil guy and his posse. 'Cause if we didn't, he'll get Dad out of the way and take over the world!

Cindy gasped. Carl burst into tears.

Jimmy: Okay, guys. I know that's a scary thought, but thanks to Daniel and Lindsey, none of that is going to happen. Now Libby, how many more items to we have to get before my . . . sickness, or whatever, is cured?

Libby opened the bag she had and pulled out The Stories and Explanations of Witchcraft and Wizardry and opened it to page nine hundred and twenty seven.

Libby: Um, I guess you got . . .all of them but the chicken feather.

Sheen: Chicken feather?! That sounds a lot like—

"POULTRA!" Carl shrieked.

Jimmy: Yes, we know.Now the question is . . . how do we get it?

Chapter 38: The Stories and Explanations of Witchcraft and Wizardry

I have the strangest feeling that we're overlooking something! Libby, read the whole page this time.

Libby: What? No thanks, you read it.

She shoved it in his hands, and Jimmy put it on the floor so they could all read it. This is what it said:

Check to see if you have the following symptoms before you try to cure yourself:

1. You pass out when someone says a specific word.

2. You have memory blanks at random times.

3. Before you pass out, the people you're with disappear for no reason, to be replaced with a disembodied head that you've seen before.

4. The specific people that say the magic word before you faint, and the disembodied head you see, all have your blood.

Now that you're sure you definitely have the Vacuum Disease, you must retrieve the following peculiar items to cure yourself:

1. A tailfin from an orange barracuda
2. A small fire from a shooting star (keep stored in a pickle jar)
3. A bottle of moon dust
4. Two blocks of frozen snow with a thorn from a cactus in each
5. One solid piece of gold, and one solid piece of silver, both in the shape of a triangle.
6. A single feather from a giant chicken's stomach

Once you have everything needed, simply follow the directions and you will be completely normal again.

1. Find some ordinary firewood, and take out four pieces, and put them in the position of a campfire.

2. Take your tailfin from an orange barracuda and wedge it firmly between the bottom two logs.

3. Open your pickle jar and pour the fire from the shooting star onto the logs.

4. Seize the two blocks of frozen snow, and put one on the left side and one on the right of the fire, which will melt the snow and release the cactus thorns.

5. Pick up the two triangular pieces of gold and silver and put them together with the silver on the left (forming a parallelogram) and hold them on top of the flames until they melt fall into the wood. By this time the fire should be glowing the color of the unfortunate person's eyes.

6. Take the feather and drop it on the middle of the blaze.

7. Open your bottle of moon dust and sprinkle all of its contents around the flames. Immediately, the fire will turn jet black, but after thirteen seconds it will fade back to the original orange-yellow-red.

8. Find a glass pitcher and scoop the part of the fire into it. Once the glass touches the fire, it will lose all of its heat and turn into a liquid. Scoop out a portion with a spoon and drink it. You will instantly be cured.

WARNING: The majority of scientists say if you do not do this within thirty days, there is a 99 chance that you will die.

Miscellaneous note: The head that you see before you pass out is the only one that can save you from the terrible fate that awaits you.

Cindy: Wow. . . .

Chapter 39: Settling Some Stuff

Lindsey: 'Wow' is right, Mom—

Cindy: Call me Cindy.

Lindsey: Right, whatever. Now Cindy, as you might have noticed, there are some stuff that settling. Can you think of anything Dad?

Jimmy: Call me Jimmy.

Lindsey: Yeah, right, whatever. Can you detect anything unsettling, Jimmy?

Jimmy and Cindy began to feel that Lindsey was mocking them, but they pretended not to notice.

"Uh, yeah. Like the fact that I might die like, SOON!" He said the last three words slightly hysterically.

Sheen: Oh, relax, Jim. We have plenty of time! Carl, tell him how long it's been since he got hit.

Carl: (looking at a pocket calendar) Exactly twenty-six days, three hours, and seventeen minutes.
Jimmy gave Sheen a Look, who said, "Oh boy."

Daniel: Notice anything else?

Libby: Hey, what about that last part, 'the head you see before you pass out is the only one that can save you from the terrible fate that awaits you'?

Jimmy: Well that's obvious now. I only know one boy with blonde hair and blue eyes that has my blood—Daniel. I guess he saved me by telling me about that tape and not to attack Goobat or something.

Daniel: Oh yeah, your welcome for that!

"Well, not to me," Libby said huffily.

Cindy: Wait, there's just one more thing I don't get. What did Goobat mean by 'if you had only decided not to attack'?

Jimmy: Hm . . . I don't know. Maybe we were still in 'jail' and then we escaped and then we used Goddard to attack him or something?

Cindy and Libby we looking at him with raised eyebrows.

Jimmy: I don't know! I'm a scientist, not a psychic!

Cindy: That's the problem: You don't know.

Jimmy: Excuse me?

Cindy: I said, you don't know. But we have to find out so you—so we don't make the same mistake!

Jimmy: Excuse me?

When Cindy didn't answer him, Jimmy walked up to her and shook her by the shoulders. "What do you mean?" His voice came out sounding kind of shrill.

Cindy: (smiling thoughtfully) I think. . . I think I may have an idea.

Chapter 40: View Mode

Jimmy: What's your idea? Tell us already!

Cindy: I have a way to find out what happens without us messing up again!

Daniel: Really? Are you serious?

Cindy: Yeah!

Lindsey: What is it?!

Cindy: We can put the Chrono-arch on view mode, and see the future! That way we'll be able to see how we messed up without us doing it!

Jimmy: Cindy, that's a great idea! Why didn't I think of that?

Cindy blushed.

Jimmy: To—!

Sheen: To the lab!

Jimmy looked at him.

Sheen: To the lab!

At Jimmy's Lab

Jimmy: Okay, now all I have to do is recalibrate the time pump, reroute the circuit, disable the electrifier, rewire the red and yellow wires, and adjust the rotating time viewer, and . . . here we go!

Chapter 41, Part I: The Chrono-Arch Tells All

Jimmy: There, perfect.

Libby: Wow, this is so cool!

Jimmy: Well, I did create it, after all.

Cindy: Okay chill out it's not that cool.

Lindsey: AHEM . . . okay let's stay focused here! We're trying to find us with the egg guy, remember?

Jimmy: Oh yeah. Now, according to Carl we have four days left, so I'll just put in three days from now since we probably wouldn't risk it on the last day. And . . . here it is!

Inside the chrono-arch a grave scene was being played out: Jimmy was locked up in jail, Goobat was checking a clock, Cindy, Libby, Sheen, Carl, Lindsey, and Daniel were locked up in separate cells, and the Space bandits were guarding them.

Cindy: Oh my gosh!
Daniel: Tell me about it.

Cindy: No I mean look at my hair! It's totally messed up!

Jimmy: CINDY!
Cindy: Hey, what's wrong with keeping your hair nice?

Libby: Obviously he wouldn't know or he wouldn't have an ice cream cone at the top of his head.
Cindy laughed.

Sheen: Well, ignoring Jimmy's freakishly tall ice cream-shaped hair . . . .

Carl: Jim? This isn't telling us much.

He pointed to the screen where Goobat was talking and Jimmy was looking furious.

Jimmy: Oh, you're right. The time has to be set, I forgot—

Cindy: (quietly) Welcome to the story of your life.

Jimmy: (ignoring her) that clock says it's 11:30, so I'll just set it back to, say, three o'clock this afternoon.

He made a few adjustments on the keyboard; the picture turned to static and then became clear again. They were just landing the rocket outside something that looked like Shea Stadium times two. Sheen was looking around wildly, Cindy was playing with her hair, Libby was sleeping, and Carl was using his inhaler.

At that moment, the clock in the background chimed three.

Jimmy was the first one out of the rocket and walking around. He walked up the bleachers, saying, "Guys, follow me!"

The rest of them obeyed and stood next to Jimmy. All of a sudden, Jimmy fell through the space in between the rows!

Future Jimmy: Guys? Guys, help me!

Chapter 41, Part II: The Chrono-Arch Tells All

Sheen, however, did not help him up. He jumped in the hollow space yelling "Cowabunga!" The rest of the group imitated him and for a minute the place was echoing "Cowabunga! Cowabunga! Cowabunga! Cowabunga! Cowabunga!"

Future Jimmy: Guys, QUIET! I hear someone coming.

He peered anxiously through the gap in the chairs, only to find the entire League of Villains standing there!

Goobat: Now where, where, where is that little Neutron?

Zixx: Little is right—last time we saw him he was three inches tall!

Eustace Strych: Don't worry, Neutron and his pathetic little friends will be here soon enough.

Beautiful Gorgeous: They better be! And this time they won't be so lucky, 'cause this time we changed our plan.

Baby Eddie: Speaking of which—

Beautiful Gorgeous: I WILL NOT CHANGE YOUR DIAPER!

Professor Calamitous: Calm yourself, dear. Jimmy will be here soon to meet his downfall, or my name isn't—my name isn't—isn't . . . .

"Professor Calamitous," his co-villains droned.

The Junkman: Of course he'll be here soon, that bratty little Neutron will fall for anything! He just can't wait to show us all how 'good' he thinks he is.

Grandma Taters: You said it!

Unfortunately, Jimmy chose that moment to jump out (the hole was quite shallow) and shout out to the League.

Future Jimmy: Oh yeah? Well it just so happens that we're going to kick all of your butts yet AGAIN!

Goobat: Oh? And who is this 'we' you speak of? You appear to be alone.

Beautiful Gorgeous: Obviously.

Future Jimmy: NO, actually, my friends are right here!
Indeed, Lindsey, Daniel, Sheen, Cindy, and Libby were standing behind Jimmy.

Carl, who was still struggling to get out, cried, "I'm coming Jimmy!"

Professor Calamitous: So, you say you can beat us again, eh, Neutron?

Future Cindy: Duh!

Goobat: Well think again!

He whipped out a control and pressed the big red button in the middle. Out of nowhere, a huge prison fell on top of the seven of them. Then the top and bottom closed up. Goobat wiggled a piece of the control and Jimmy and his friends were sent flying out of the chairs and right beside the League of Villains in the middle of the floor.

Future Libby: Jimmy, what's happening?!

Then Goobat pressed a blue button and the cage split into seven smaller pieces, trapping them each in a separate, floating compartment. With a satisfied smirk on their faces, all of the villains walked away into the fog.

Jimmy: Okay, I think we've seen enough.

Cindy, Libby, Lindsey, Sheen, Daniel, and Carl were jolted out of space; they had been watching the chrono-arch with a look of pure terror on their faces and they seemed to have forgotten they were still in Jimmy's lab.

Carl: That was scary!

Jimmy: (pulling a lever and pushing a button) I know. But now we know that all we have to do is stay absolutely silent until they leave.

Libby: You mean you.

Cindy: Leave it to Nerdtron to open his big mouth almost get us all killed!

Lindsey noticed that Jimmy's eyes were starting to get a little bright, so she hastily interrupted them. "Guys, no fighting please. Cindy doesn't know what she's talking about. Carl, how much time do we have left again?"

Carl: What time is it?
"Five thirty," answered Jimmy, who was looking very cheerful again when Lindsey had said Cindy didn't know what she was talking about.

Carl: Four days, six hours, thirty minutes, and fifty-nine seconds . . . fifty-eight seconds . . . fifty-seven seconds . . . fifty-six, fifty-five, fifty fo—

Jimmy: Carl! Stop that!

Carl: Sorry.

Daniel: So what do we do now?

Jimmy: I guess all we can do is start packing up the rocket. Who's ready?

Sheen: Me! Me!

Lindsey: Let's do it.

Cindy: Our cable's out, so, fine, I'll do it.

Libby: Count me in!

Carl: Thirty-two, thirty-one, thirty, (taps his watch) twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven—

Jimmy: CARL!
Carl: Sorry.

Chapter 42: Not Helping

Jimmy: Book?
Lindsey: (handing Jimmy The Stories and Explanations of Witchcraft and Wizardry) Check.

It was Tuesday, the next day. Jimmy was trying to get the rocket ready with his friends and most of them were not being very helpful.

Sheen: Remind me again why we're risking our lives to save Jimmy?

Libby: (looking at her nails) Oh, Sheen . . . sweet, sweet, naïve, Sheen . . . with a very good point! Why are we here again?

Cindy: Look, guys, I don't want to be here as much as you do, but hey, this is better than looking at a blank television all day!
Libby: (taking out nail polish and coating her left fingers) Yeah, yeah, whateva . . . .

Carl: Guys, be a little more helpful! This is Jimmy's life we're talking about!
Sheen: Okay . . . . (takes Carl's "time-keeper's" watch away and throws it in the grass)

Carl: Well I'm outta here.

Libby: (painting her right hand and talking in a careless voice) Sheen, that wasn't very nice.

Sheen: Right . . . . (takes Libby's nail polish and throws in beside Carl's watch)
Libby: Well this was fun, buh-bye.

Jimmy: Guys! Stop fooling around! We have to get to planet Yolkus before sunset or we'll risk getting lost in the Milky Way!

He stops loading the rocket and turns around. Libby was blowing on her nails, Cindy was poking Sheen and then pointing at Carl, Carl was looking for his watch, Sheen was hitting Cindy after every poke, and Daniel was on the floor sleeping.

Jimmy: I really need to expand my circle of friends.

Cindy: You think I'm your friend?

Jimmy: Guys . . . girls . . . Cindy . . . just finish packing up and get in!

Sheen: I call shotgun!

Carl: No way, I want the shotgun!

Jimmy: GUYS! NOW!

Cindy: SOMEone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Wait, we're going to Yolkus again?!

Jimmy: YES, again. Where else do you think Goobat would be? Seriously, and you call yourself the second smartest kid in town. Food and water?
Lindsey: Check and check.

Jimmy: Candy?
Carl: Um . . . not check.

Jimmy: Fine, we're not having any desert.

Sheen: (hitting Carl) Carl!

Jimmy: Spare parts for the rocket?
Lindsey: Check.

Jimmy: Uh . . . Daniel?

Lindsey: (takes out a bullhorn out of nowhere and blows it; Daniel jumps up and assumes karate position) Check.

Daniel: Can ya give a guy a warning? Jeez . . . . (rubs ears)

Jimmy: Everyone, get in!

Carl: Shotgun!

Sheen: No way dude!

After a lot of hitting (mostly directly at Carl), blowing on the nails (all Libby), and screaming that almost made Jimmy's ears fall out, they were finally in the rocket and comfortable.

Jimmy: Wait a second, why is Cindy sitting next to me?

Sheen: Right, that's my seat.(pushes Cindy away)

Daniel: Can we hurry this up?

Jimmy: Right—Atomic batteries to power . . . turbines to speed . . . and . . . . Blast off!

Chapter 43: Even the Cricket Has Left

Sheen: Are we there yet?

Jimmy: No.

Carl: Are we there yet?

Jimmy: No.

Cindy: Are we there yet?

Jimmy: NO!

Sheen: . . . How bout now . . . how bout now?

Jimmy: Sheen!

Cindy: Could ya hurry this up? I want to get there before I need a hearing aid!!

Libby: That would be so not good, how the heck could I listen to music?

Cindy: Oh, I know!

Jimmy ignored the Cindy and Libby girl talk and concentrated on driving the rocket through the atmosphere.

Carl: Hey Jimmy? Could we hurry this up a little? I'm getting a little queasy!

Jimmy: Sorry Carl, we have to be going at least seventy-five miles per hour to beat the stratospheric winds conditions.

Carl: Okay then, well if you'll just excuse me for a sec . . . .

And out came Carl's breakfast, lunch, desert, and second lunch on the border of Russia and Mongolia.

Cindy: There goes the troposphere!

Libby: And the stratosphere!

Sheen: Uh, English please!

Lindsey: There's the mesosphere!

Daniel: And we just passed the ionosphere!

Carl: Now I know why there all end in feeeeeeeeeaaaaaarr!

Jimmy chose that moment to take a very sharp, sideways turn and Carl threw up again.

Carl: Can we slow down now? Please?
Another perfect timing: Jimmy suddenly slammed the brake and Carl screamed.

Sheen: Carl man up! You sound like a girl!
Libby: Excuse me, and what's wrong with being a girl?

Sheen: Nothing my sweet pop princess.

Carl: And you told me to man up!

Daniel: Will you guys shut it PLEASE?

Cindy: Space-tron, are we there yet?!

Jimmy: Actually, yes.

Libby: Halleluyah!

Sheen: Finally!
Cindy: It took you long enough.

Jimmy: Vortex it took less than forty minutes!

Libby: And my nail polish is already chippin'!

Lindsey: Jimmy . . . are you sure we're there?

Jimmy: Of course I'm sure. After all, this me we're talking about!
Cindy: We're doomed.

Libby: Hey, if this is supposed to be a planet, where are all the people?

Jimmy: What are you—oh.

Finally getting out of the rocket and looking around, he saw what Libby was talking about—there was no one there. Just deserted buildings, housed, restaurants, you name it. They watched a tumbleweed float by and anxiously looked for any trace of abduction.

Sheen: Hello?

No answer.

Cindy peered apprehensively around at noticed a tall, circular structure that was marked with footsteps, many pairs.

Cindy: Maybe they're all in there!

Lindsey: Yeah, maybe . . . .

Daniel: Guys, I have a bad feeling about this . . . .

A cricket chirps and Jimmy walked bravely towards the entrance.

Jimmy: Guys? We're going to have to go in there. I have a feeling this is a trap, but we're going to have to fall in it without getting caught.

Carl: Sounds dangerous!

Cindy: You're kidding right?

Jimmy: No. I have a strong hunch that they're in there, waiting for us.

The cricket chirped again.

Libby: All right, I'm in.

"Me too," Everyone else agreed.

Sheen: Let's go kick some egg butt!

Even the cricket has left.

Cindy: Right . . . .

Chapter 44: Mike and Sally

Sheen: Hello? Hello? HELLO!

Cindy: Will you stop with the echoing!

Carl: Hey Jimmy? There's no one here.

Libby: Thank you, Captain Obvious. We figured that out half an hour ago!
Jimmy: Come on, follow me.

Just as chrono-arch predicted, Jimmy walked up the concert-stadium-like seats several rows. Lindsey and Daniel glanced at each other warily but went after Jimmy anyway; the rest of his friends followed suit.

"Hurry up, I hear footsteps!" Jimmy whispered. Then, "Get in here, where no one will see us."

He sat on the edge of the hole (the hole he had fallen into in the future) and lowered himself in using his arms.

Jimmy: Come on!
The voices were getting louder and Jimmy more worried. First Sheen, then Libby, then Cindy, then Carl slid in, but Lindsey and Daniel being adults had a little more trouble fitting into the small gap.

Suddenly, the door that Cindy had instinctively closed opened with a slam.

Beautiful Gorgeous: Where's the little twerp? I heard that annoying little voice of his.

Grandma Taters: Me too.

The Junkman: Hey, who are you guys?!

Lindsey: (nervously) Us?

Goobat: Yes you. Why are you still on this planet? I thought I zapped all of Yolkus with Neutron's disappearing ray that I stole last time I was there!

From beneath the chairs, Jimmy almost jumped up.

Daniel: Well I'm . . . Daniel, and she's . . . (looking at Lindsey twirling her hair around her finger) well she's not important right now.

Cindy: (whispering) Don't tell them your real name!

Daniel: I mean . . . I'm—Mike, and this is Sally.

Professor Calamitous: Oh. Well, hi Mike and Sally!

Goobat: Not so fast. Why are you here?

Lindsey: Oh yes, very good question . . . tell them why we're here, D—Mike!

Jimmy: (whispering) Make something up!

Daniel: Oh! Well, we're—we're—we're from the future, and we're members of the League of Villains thirty years from now!
Lindsey slapped her forehead.

Daniel: And . . . we're here to warn you about something! Um, take it away Linds—Sally!

Lindsey: Right . . . um, you know that boy Neutron? Well when he comes to take something from that chicken of yours, um, don't stop him!

Goobat: Neutron is coming here?

Sheen: Nice going doofus!

Lindsey: No! I mean—I mean yeah, he's coming to take something that in the future will keep you from blowing yourselves up!
Beautiful Gorgeous, who looked surprisingly similar to Lindsey, stared at her disbelievingly.

Daniel: (trying not to laugh or roll his eyes) She's right! So um, when he comes, just let him get away, okay?

Baby Eddie: Well . . . okay!

Tee: Now come with us, fools. We have to plan our taking over the world!
Lindsey: No! I mean, no thanks. We're just going to stay here and keep watch.

Goobat: But I thought you said to let Neutron get—

Daniel: Carry on!

With that, the League of Villains walked away.

Jimmy: Great job guys! Now, if we could just get the feather before Goobat figures out you're lying . . . .

Chapter 45: Surprise, Surprise

Jimmy, Sheen, Libby, Cindy, Daniel, and Lindsey awoke peacefully on Wednesday to the distant sound of arguing. Carl was still snoring loudly.

Cindy: (sitting up) Where—where are we?

Jimmy: Still on planet Yolkus.

Sheen: Aw, man! I thought that Carl and I were both just having the same horrible dream!

The vague arguing was getting louder, clearer, and closer.

Daniel: Come on guys, we have to hide, they'll be here any minute!

They all ducked under into the hole. Lindsey had just pushed Carl through (that woke him up) but before she or her brother could jump in a loud voice rang through the huge room.

Professor Calamitous: Mike? Sally? What are you doing here?

Daniel: We're . . . just . . . watching for Neutron.

Goobat: But I thought you said it was okay for Neu—

Lindsey: What are you doing here?

Zixx: Waiting for Neutron to fall into out evil devious trap.

Tee: Fool! They weren't supposed to know about that!
Baby Eddie: Relax, they're future villains, aren't they?

Lindsey: R—Right! Um, what's the plan again?

Grandma Taters: Shouldn't you know, if you're a villain?
Daniel: Of course we do! We just, um, forgot.

Goobat: Oh. Well in that case, I guess we can tell you.

Professor Calamitous: First, we plant our spy in Lindbergh Elementary—

Beautiful Gorgeous: Then we make sure he slams Neutron on the head—

Baby Eddie: Then we station one or more villains at every place where an object is—

Goobat: All thanks to this.

He reached into a pocket and pulled out a pocket sized version of The Stories and Explanations of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Chapter 46: Evil Unmasked

Jimmy: (jumping up) what?!

Goobat: Neutron?!

Jimmy: Goobat!

Professor Calamitous: Neutron!
Cindy: (also jumping up): Calamitous?

Libby: Space dudes!!
Tee: Earth fool!

Sheen: (standing next to Cindy assuming a karate-stance) Baby Eddie?
Baby Eddie: Neutron!
Cindy: A talking baby?!

Grandma Taters: Jimmy?
Sheen: (manly voice) Beautiful Gorgeous, baby!

Beautiful Gorgeous: (rolling her eyes) Oh great, pelican boy . . . .

Goobat: (angrily) Mike!
Zixx: Sally!

Sheen: (forgetting) Mike? Sally?

Daniel: Jimmy!
Lindsey: Cindy!

Carl: (finally standing up) CARL!

Beautiful Gorgeous: For the love of all things beautiful and gorgeous, what is going on?!

Jimmy: I'll tell you what's going on! You guys planned everything that happened to me in the last month!! How could you do that?!

Professor Calamitous: Because you keep ruining all our plans to take over the world so we needed you out of the way!!
Carl: Well, ya know, he does have a point.

Cindy: Whatever, can we just get the stupid feather and leave already?

Jimmy: I agree. Now let's see if we can find Poultra . . . .

He gestured that the others follow. Lindsey and Daniel held a hurried, whispered argument.

Daniel: One of us has to stay here or else they won't trust us or listen to us!
Lindsey: Why can't we both stay here?
Daniel: Because we know our way around this place better than they do from the tape!

Lindsey: Fine but I'm not staying here, what if I accidentally tell them the truth?

Daniel: Yeah your big mouth might be a problem. Fine, you go with them, I'll stay here and make sure they don't follow.

Lindsey: Okay, fine. (speaking in a loud, "macho" voice) Okay fellow villains, I'm just gunna, you know, follow them and make sure they don't break anything too valuable.

Jimmy: (when Lindsey had joined them, whispering) Okay Carl, remind me how much longer we have?

Carl: Actually, we just have tomorrow until midnight! That's only thirty-five hours and forty-two minutes!

Jimmy: Okay then. That's not a lot of time. There are many doors in this place, but we need to find the one with Poultra in it, the one that probably says keep out!

Sheen: (after about ten seconds) You mean that one right here that says 'Door to Poultra, Keep Out'?

Libby: Wow, that's specific.

Jimmy opened the door. In front of them was the one, the only, Poultra! Clucking worse than Ms. Fowl, she turned her heavily feathered, angry head on them.

Chapter 47: Trouble With a Capital Tee

Libby: HOLY cow!

Sheen: Libbs . . . I think you mean holy chicken.

Lindsey: That thing is even more freakishly abnormal in person!!

Cindy: Funny, I say the same thing about Jimmy's head.

Jimmy: (waving his fist) Why I outta—

Lindsey: Break it up you two, break it up!

Libby: Can we just get the stupid feather and oh, I don't know . . . GO!?

Jimmy: Right, um . . . good Poulta! Good Poultra . . . um, stay? STAY! Good chicken, good chicken!

By now, Jimmy is about three feet away from Poultra and all he has to do is jump up.

Goobat: (door slams in so hard that it bounces back halfway) FREEZE! Nobody move!

At this sudden noise, Poultra goes completely berserk and roars at Jimmy, who backs away nervously. Cindy slaps her head with her hand.

Sheen: What are you doing? Jimmy was SO CLOSE!

Jimmy: I don't understand! How did you know where we were?

Zixx: With him.

He opens the door wider, and Tee walks in. Holding Daniel. Cop-style.

Lindsey: Daniel!!

Daniel: Jimmy! Hurry! Get the feather and go! This is a trap!

Sheen: Daniel! How COULD you?!

Daniel: It's not my fault! They put me trough a lie detector test!

Sheen: Oh. Tee! How could YOU?!

Tee: Fool! I will always be evil! I could never go back to being good, fool!

Professor Calamitous: Plus us villains get free donuts on Mondays.

Chapter 48: The Last Day

Sheen: Jimmy, is it over yet?

Jimmy: Is what over?
Sheen: Getting the feather and leaving this dump!
Jimmy: Oh, that. No, I'm afraid not. The bars on this cell are extremely thick, my watch can't really break through th—Got it!

The walls fell out.

Sheen: FREEDOM!!

Carl: Hooray!

Sheen: So can we go now?

Lindsey: No, guys, we have to get the feather and save Jimmy!

Libby: But Lindsey, I haven't listened to anything but opera since we got here! I'm going insane!

She points to an old-fashioned record players with an opera CD in it.

Carl: Yeah, seriously. This is driving me crazy!

Lindsey: I know, guys. But we can't leave yet!

Cindy: She's right. I don't want all our hard work to go to waste!
Jimmy: How much time do we have left anyway?
Carl: (looks at his watch and screams) Only twelve hours!

Cindy: Okay, so what do we do now?

Jimmy: We attack, that's what we do!

Sheen: Good idea, Jim! I say we sneak up on them from behind, grab 'em, and escape!
Everybody looks strangely at him.

Sheen: What? I think that's a very reasonable idea!

Jimmy: Well, not really, but we'll think of something.

He made furious steps to leave, but Daniel grabbed his arm.

Daniel: No! Remember the video? If you attack them with your super-powers, they'll see it coming and you'll lose!

Jimmy: (sighing) You're right. So what do you think we should do?

Suddenly, a small boy steps out of the shadows.

"I think I know."

Chapter 49: Tyler

Cindy: Whoa, whoa, whoa, now who the heck are you?!

Boy: What do you mean, who am I?! I'm your—

Lindsey and Daniel both ran to the boy and covered his mouth.

Lindsey: (pushing the hair out of her face) Well, uh, haha, it's a funny story about him, actually!! Ya see, T—wait, what?!

She pushed back the boy and raised her eyebrows.

Lindsey: Tyler, what are you doing here?! Me and Daniel specifically told you to STAY in 2230! What are you doing here?!

Jimmy: Excuse me, but 2230? You mean he's another future kid?
Daniel: Uh, well, he's your future kid.

Libby: Oh, not another one!

Sheen: Great! Another kid from the future!
Lindsey: A kid that we told to STAY THERE!

Daniel: Tyler what are you doing here?!

Tyler, who still has a little bit of his baby voice, begins to speak.

Tyler: But it's impowtant! I was watching the tapes again, and I needed to come save you!

Carl: From what?

Tyler: Fwom—

Goobat: (evilly) From us.

Libby: What do you mean, from you?!

Goobat: Well uh, it's eight o'clock. Neutron's done by midnight! Only four hours left, mwahahahahaha!!

He walked away, still laughing.

Carl: What are we going to do, Jimmy?

Chapter 50: Just Like Old Times

Carl: Uh, Jimmy, did you hear me? I said, 'what are we going to do?'

Cindy: Neutron, Neutron can you hear me? (snaps her fingers in front on Jimmy's face) Neutron, snap out of it!

Jimmy: (pushing her hand out the way) Of course I could hear you, Vortex. I was thinking of a plan, and I have one!

Sheen: Finally, it's about time!!

Lindsey: I know!

Carl: Hooray, Jimmy has a plan!

Cindy: (sarcastically) Oh, here we go. Time for Jimmy to tell us about his ill-thought out, unneeded idea to so called (she made air quotes) save us, before he comes crying back to me for a good plan!

Libby: (slowly) When has Jimmy ever—

Cindy: Can it!

Sheen: Oh, come on, Cindy, I think we should give Jimmy a chance! Go on, Jimmy, tell us about your ill-thought out, unneeded idea.

Jimmy: Well, I say we all hide in here. Then when Grandma Taters comes to take Poultra for a walk, Sheen will fly one of their rockets down and attack her from behind as a distraction, so we can all come out and grab a feather!

Libby: But can we really do that?
Cindy: Yeah, what about the video?

Daniel: I don't know, the video said that 'if we'd only waited to attack and stayed there . . . '

Cindy: Yeah, and that's another thing, how the heck did you get that video anyway?!

Tyler cleared his throat significantly. He held out a video camera.

Tyler: I believe this, is Danny's.

Daniel: You little worm! You came to 2006 when we told you to stay there, and now you stole my video camera?!

Tyler: (pretending to think about it) Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Cindy: (laughing) You know, kid, you're pretty funny! Oh wait, you're my kid. Well, that's where I got it from, I guess!

Jimmy: (clearing his throat) Ahem, aren't you guys kind of forgetting about something, like, oh, I don't know, MY LIFE!?

Sheen: (clapping) Bravo! Excellent idea! Genius, really! Wait, my name is Sheen! Is there another Sheen here? Is Carl's name really Sheen? Carl, why didn't you tell us before?!

Lindsey: Um, Sheen, I think Jimmy's talking about you.

Sheen: Wow, look at the time, I really should get going, my cookies must be burned by now—

Jimmy: (grabbing him by the shoulders) Sheen—what would Ultra-Lord do?

Sheen: (a dreamy look appearing on his face) What would Ultra-Lord do . . . . (his face becomes serious and he solutes to Jimmy) Aye-aye, Cap'n Jimmy, Ultra-Lord will not let you down.

Chapter 51: Ultra Lord Did Not Let Him Down

Jimmy: (whispering) Remember, Sheen, don't fly the ship until AFTER I yell go, okay?

Sheen: Gotcha, captain.

All of a sudden, as Grandma Taters is putting on Poultra's leash and the other villains are eating donuts (after all, it is Monday), Jimmy jumps out from behind a wall.

Jimmy: (in an unusually loud stage voice) Oh no, whatever will I do, the evil League of Villains has found me at eleven thirty with half an hour, I hope they don't capture me and force me to stay here until midnight!

Travoulton: You know, that's not a bad idea!

Goobat: A very not bad idea . . . . Taters, leave Poultra and grab him!

Jimmy: NOW, Sheen!

Sheen: Right, Jimmy!

Out of nowhere, a huge space ship crashed through the ceiling (driven by a strange hyper-active boy wearing an Ultra Lord mask that he carried in his pocket), scattering debris everywhere, and flew straight towards Poultra, who was shrieking with rage.

Jimmy: Guys, get a feather, I'll handle Goobat!

Cindy, Libby, Carl, Lindsey, Daniel, and Tyler ran out of the same doorway and at Poultra.

Jimmy: Hi Goobat!

Goobat: Hello, Jim—

Jimmy: Prepare to get shrunk!!

He took his shrink ray out of nowhere and pointed it at Goobat; within a second, Goobat was the size of an ant.

Goobat: (in a high, squeaky voice) Help me! Help me! Help m—nooooo!!!

Jimmy bent down and drew in a breath. As Goobat had predicted moments before, Jimmy blew one little blow and the little egg flew out of sight.

Tyler: Daddy, I got the feather! Let's get out of here!

Jimmy: Sheen! STOP throwing water balloons at Poultra and pick us up!

Sheen: Sorry, Jimmy!

He hovered down to ground level and all seven of them ran on.

Jimmy: Come on guys, we have twenty minutes to make that soup thing before midnight!

Chapter 51½: Not Really a Chapter Just a Pathetic Filler

Libby: Since we're all so quiet, I think to break the silence, Sheen should say the very first thing that comes to his mind when I say the word 'sponge.'

Sheen: Pickle!

Cindy: Pickle?! Where'd that come from?

Sheen: Well, see, Libby made me think of Ultra-Lord episode number eleven, Attack of the Soggy Sponges, when the only thing that kills it is fresh pickles—

Carl: You know, fresh pickles sound pretty good right now.

Jimmy: Well, that's good, because we're home finally home—half an hour left!!

Chapter 52: Soup Soup Soap Soap

Jimmy: Okay, let's just make sure we have everything we need.

Cindy: (rolling her eyes) Of course we have everything! That wood. a tailfin from an orange barracuda, a small fire from a shooting star—in the pickle jar—a bottle of moon dust, two blocks of frozen snow, one solid piece of gold, and one solid piece of silver, both in the shape of a triangle, a single feather from a giant chicken's stomach—wait, where's the—

Sheen: Cactus thorn? Right here, safely in my shoe. (takes out something long and pointy from a reeking sock) And I must say, the pain was quite painful.

Jimmy: Way to be repetitiously redundant, Sheen. Anyway, we have like twenty-five minutes to make this soup thing. Libby, do you have the book?
Libby: Right here.

Lindsey: Oh, oh, can I do it? Puh-LEASE, pu-LEASE, with a cherry on top?

Carl: Oh, and whip cream?

Sheen: And hot fudge?

Carl: And fish!

Daniel: Who eats FISH with ice cream?!

Carl: Not me! . . . . well, I'm trying to quit.

Tyler: Lindsey, huwwy up!!

Libby: Yeah, read those dumb instructions already.

Lindsey: Okay . . . oh wait, before you make the soup, you have to wash your hands.

Cindy: (eyeing him with an eyebrow raised) With SOAP.

Sheen: Hey, soup and soap! That reminds me of that game, the one that goes 'soup soup soap soap, soap soap soup soup,' remember that Carl?
Carl: Oh yeah, wanna play?

Cindy+Libby+Lindsey+Tyler+Daniel+Jimmy: NO!!

Jimmy: What do we do next?

Lindsey: Take seven pieces of wood, put three right next to each other, and then form a square around that.

Jimmy: (after a minute) Done.

Lindsey: Put the tailfin in the center of the square, with the scales side down.

Jimmy: Done.

Lindsey: Take the thorn and stick it through the fin.

Cindy: Oh, eeeeeeeewwwwwwww . . . .

Lindsey: Put the gold triangle in the middle of the snow, and then the silver one right next to it but the opposite way, forming a parallelogram.

Jimmy: Piece of cake!

Lindsey: Place the two blocks of snow on top of the fin and thorn; they should be big enough to cover everything.

Jimmy: Phew, JUST fits!

Lindsey: Then the feather goes right on the ice . . . .

Jimmy: 'Kay . . .

Lindsey: Open the jar with the fire directly over the wood and it with catch.

Jimmy: Okay, here goes nothing!

He held his breath and shielded his hand over his closed eyes, and dumped the fire out over the wood and everything on it.

Immediately, the snow melted as if they were watching a speed up film, times a hundred. It went down so fast Jimmy almost didn't see it, and when that went down, the gold and silver melted as well and mixed together to form the brightest color of white they'd every seen. The fin turned jet-black and the thorn disintegrated.

Tyler + Libby: Wow!!

Lindsey: Now sprinkle the moon dust all over everything.

The effect was not immediate; for about ten seconds all of them wondered if it even made a difference, but then something happened. The flame, golden-orange as most flames are, suddenly turned a bright, hot pink, then neon green, then the palest purple, and aqua-blue. It stopped for a second on blue, then shot so suddenly to the clearest, most transparent clear.

Cindy: Is it still there?

Lindsey: Yeah, the book says, 'Once it has turned clear, blow on it once to stop the fire and instantly put a bowl on top of the wood. The "soup" will be in there and once it hits the ceramic, it should turn red. Drink it."

Jimmy: Oh, gross! I'm supposed to DRINK this?

Carl: Yeah, and in the next sixty seconds too!
Jimmy: Well then in that case . . . . HERE GOES EVERYTHING!!

Chapter 53: The Typical Happy Ending

Lindsey (anxiously): Well, how does it taste?

Jimmy didn't answer for a minute. When he did, he exclaimed, "This is the best food I've ever eaten in my entire life!"

Sheen: Wow, that's a surprise.

Carl: Cindy, say it! Say it say it say it say it say it!!

Cindy: Weird, for Pete's sake!

Jimmy blinked.

Daniel + Libby: It worked!
Carl: Hooray!

Cindy: Okay, so we all Jimmy's life, blah blah blah, typical happy ending, blah blah, now what happened to that fifty bucks you owe me?

Jimmy: What?! You never gave me fifty dollars!
Cindy: I KNOW that.

Jimmy: THANK you.

Cindy: You owe me sixty!

Jimmy: What!?

Cindy: Hello, I just helped saved your life here!

Jimmy: Yeah but I never promised you fifty bucks!

Cindy: Sixty, remember?
Jimmy: Okay, do you make any sense?

Cindy: I'm sorry, was I speaking too intelligently for you? (speaks louder) I—SAVED—YOUR-BUTT—SO—YOU—PAY ME!

Jimmy: Oh you are so full of it!
Cindy: Why thank you!

Jimmy: That wasn't a complement!

Cindy: Yes it was!
Jimmy: No it wasn't!

The fanfic-camera slowly zooms out of the clubhouse; the matter of life and death was over.