I DO NOT own OUAT of any characters !
This fic is based off of the prompt "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri, you did give me the idea, maybe a fluff fic next time but this is going to be feels, or I hope it will be ha. Read and review maybe a sequel one day. This is set season one basically an expanded timeline as in a lot of back and forth has already occurred between the two leading ladies before the chainsaw incident as well as after, Graham is still alive at this point and Emma doesn't know about him and Regina yet. Memories of things that happened will occur.
Her breathing evens out and she feels her body start to relax, she knows she can't, she has to go. She never stays the night. They can spend an entire day together yet once the stars come out she knows what it means, where she is going, where she's heading. Back to the spare room in Mary-Margaret's flat. She sighs internally as she feels the featherlight kiss on her shoulder, the arm around her waist loosening it's hold, as the brunette rolls over and turns out the lamp.
She slips from underneath the covers and takes her time getting her clothes gathered and dressing, perhaps one night she'd roll back over and say stay, reach for her arm, just something. This has been going on for a little over a month's time now and she wonders why she hasn't spent one night, why she has never come by the flat, even if the place is free to the blonde for an entire day or night.
She collapses onto her own bed as soon as she arrives back home. She's tired, physically as well as emotionally. She wasn't the type to fall easily, but here she was developing actual feelings for this woman, a woman who had given her hell ever since their son had brought her here to be "the Savior". It didn't make any kind of sense, but there was just something about her, she can't place what exactly but it's still there. She's over protective of Henry, which she can understand to an extent. But then there had been the low blows of getting her arrested, egging her on to see what kind of reaction she'd receive, they pressed each others buttons until they were face to face enraged and staring to see who would back down first. A similar pissing contest had occurred before their first kiss.
Regina had marched down the stairs and out of the mansion fists clenched by her side as she stalked towards the blonde, a look that could kill on her face.
'What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she yells, enraged, how dare she do this, how dare she destroy her tree, this was her town, she ran it, and everyone had been fine with that until one yellow bug became a common site on the roads of StoryBrooke.
"Picking apples," Emma says, the brunette's nostrils flare as the blonde smirks dropping the chainsaw.
"Are you out of your mind?" the Mayor steps forward, and then they are right in each others personal space, chests rising and falling rapidly as they catch their breathes for two different reasons.
Suddenly there's a hand at the base of her neck, slipping up into blonde curls, pulling her closer, their lips crash together.
It's not gentle, it's the brunette laying down the rules, she's the one in charge, it's her town, he's her son, she allows the blonde to stay, she gets what she wants. Emma recognizes it for what it is, but she can't help as her mind goes blank for a moment when she feels the nip at the tip of her tongue, she can't help the soft barely there moan that escapes pale lips, but the other woman hears it. She pulls back slightly, still holding golden strands in her hand, her eyes are hungry, she observes blown pupils, an evident sign of arousal. She can't help the smirk that crosses her face at that bit of information, the effect she has on the irritating blonde.
Emerald eyes come into focus again as she shakes from the Mayor's grasp and turns on her heel to get away. She shouldn't have allowed that, she shouldn't have given in to carnal desires, she didn't like this woman, did she? As she makes her way down the sidewalk her fingertips brush over her lips lightly, still feeling the ghost of the other woman's on her own. She shakes her head, she could not be attracted to his son's adoptive Mother, she just couldn't, could she?
She groans, rolling onto her stomach and burying her face in the pillows. She needs to figure out what to do, she wants to get Regina to not change the topic the next time she says something that could hint at a relationship, it would seem the Mayor prefers no strings attached, they already shared a son, that was enough complication she supposed. Emotions and feelings were another level of possible problems of their own, maybe it was better this way.
But she couldn't help but think of the times they'd shared alone, when she'd seen Regina, not Madame Mayor, but Regina Mills, they'd had a few times they'd laughed together, a few times Emma had made the other woman smile, even if she rolled her eyes while doing so. Was she crazy to think that there were some feelings on both sides? She wasn't imagining things, they actually talked about more than just work sometimes, when they did talk, somedays they'd sit in silence, just having the other's company because the kid was in school and neither had anything to do, anyone to see. They'd sit and do paperwork, they'd sit and read, sit and watch movies, sometimes a glass of cider would be offered, other times wine for the Mayor and a beer for the Deputy.
A yawn, she needed to just lay down and call it a night, otherwise her brain would be sure she got that second wind and ended up awake until 2AM just thinking and overthinking. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, letting her body relax.
In a matter of minutes the blonde is fast asleep, her body telling her mind that there will be time later to think, for now to simply rest.
The next morning Emma awakens with a start, a pounding at the front door, she grumbles to herself and pushes herself up off of the bed yawning. Who the hell could be pounding at her door at this hour, she makes her way down the stairs feet dragging. She runs a hand through the tangled mess of blonde curls and takes one of the hair ties off of her wrist and throws it into a ponytail just before she reaches the door.
She grabs the handle and opens the door to have a very energetic ten year old topple into her.
"Jeez kid, what were you leaning on the door?" his arms wrap around her midsection as response and he's hugging her and she doesn't understand the randomness of the events, she's not awake enough for this. "Everything alright?" she places a hand on his back pulling him close.
"I was listening for movement," he smiles widely and she chuckles.
"You're a piece of work, you know that kid?" she smiles, "so where does your Mom think you are right now anyways?" she places her hands on his shoulders and he looks up at her.
"Arcade," he shrugs and pulls away dropping his backpack onto the floor in front of the couch and sitting, he opens it pulling out a notebook, "I've been keeping track of who everyone is and trying to figure out how you can save everyone, I think it means by you breaking the curse but I'm not sure how you can do that, True Love's Kiss can break curses, but I don't know who your True Love is, do you?" He says all this quite quickly and she's surprised she follows it.
Emma laughs at that, "Well I don't even have anyone I like, let alone love right now, unless bear claws can be someone's True Love"
It's his turn to break into a fit of laughter, "Emma it's going to be another person, and everyone has a True Love they just have to find them, but once they do they always will, just like Snow White and Prince Charming." She sighs.
"Alright kid how about we go grab some ice cream, head down to the docks?" she's still drained, maybe the sugar boost will help her perk up, yeah she'd slept but she wished she could've slept past 9AM on a Saturday. Pulling a double with no nap was exhausting, she'd had so much paper work to do as well, and then Regina had been texting her and convinced her to come over for a nice dinner just the two of them. Henry had been at a sleepover, he'd probably just gotten home and asked to got to the Arcade, known as sneaking to see her. She wanted sleep, but time with Henry was worth the lack of it.
She chose to drive them to the ice cream parlor, they each got a cone, rocky road. Henry held both as he sat in the passengers seat while they drove to the docks, the far end by the cannery. They went to sit on the dock itself and ate their ice creams, once they finished they talked about school and random topics, some of Henry's theories on this fairy tale book, and even a bit about what Emma had done as a bail bonds person. It had been a little over an hour and a half, she needed to get him home, to the mansion, she very much doubted Regina would allow him more than an hour at the "Arcade".
If only she'd known how wrong she was, she parked the bug a block away and got a half hug goodbye before he got out of the car, "See ya later kiddo" she smiled.
She keeps an eye on him to make sure he goes straight into the house, once he's inside she suddenly sees someone, were they climbing out of the window? Regina's window?
She slumps down in her seat and quietly and slowly opens the door, crouching down so she cannot be seen by whoever this is. The person comes in a half run towards her and she glances over her shoulder to see the sheriff's car. Her chest tightens, she takes in his messy hair, his half tucked shirt, and she knows who and why. She begins to stand and as she is fully upright she leans back onto the hood of the bug, arms across her chest.
He sees her now and slows his pace coming to a halt by the curb and passengers side of the bug, he gulps, "And what were you doing here Sheriff," her voice comes out a bit louder and harsher than she intended, but it worked in the sense of it covered her true emotions currently, she should've known better, she did know better, yet here she was now.
"The real question is what are you doing here Deputy?" he can throw her title at her as well.
"Oh please, like you don't know that I dropped the kid off, that's why you decided to pull a spider-man isn't it?" he looks at her confused slightly by her reference.
"We're all adults here, just ask"
She sighs and glances left trying to keep the stray tear in her eye and not let it roll down her cheek, she couldn't let him see her like this and she most certainly couldn't let him know that they apparently shared a lover. The blonde remains quiet, continuing to avoid eye contact, Graham makes his way to the hood and leans next to her.
"Yes, Regina and I are sleeping together," he sighs sounding defeated but he had realized with her response that she wasn't going to flat out ask and he found that odd, Emma Swan didn't seem to fear anything, he'd seen her go head to head with the Mayor, so why would it matter to her. Suddenly it hit him, "You're sleeping with her too." It's a statement not a question he already knows the answer, he understands the body language and all now. "I didn't know you two had any kind of.." he trails off as he fails to find the word or phrase he deems most appropriate.
"We're not together with titles or anything," she pushes off the hood and grabs onto her door handle not opening it just yet.
"You have feelings though," she opens the door to the bug and gets in, he nods to himself and runs his hand through messy locks. He watches the yellow car speed away in the direction of Mary-Margaret's apartment.
Emma throws her jacket to the floor in her room and kicks off her boots, jeans come off next and once she's in just her underwear and her white tank top she crawls under the blankets on her bed curling into a ball. The first tear she'd held in for so long finally trickles down her cheek and once it's down by her chin the rest fall in rapid succession. They'd never said they were anything, but at the same time they spent lengths together, sex occurred more than fifty percent of the time yes, but they did watch movies, have dinners, so weren't they dating in some way? Had she really just been a sex toy for the Mayor, how long had she been fucking Graham. Was it like an affair, she just didn't understand, the why, the how, the purpose, and here she was with feelings.
The one thing she tried never to get, she didn't stay anywhere long partially due to her attachment issues as well, though perhaps they weren't really issues considering she kept others away so as to avoid getting hurt. She allowed Henry in, hell she'd let Mary-Margaret in, Ruby, and now Regina Mills. Oh was fate a son of a bitch.
The woman she shouldn't like, she should hate her, she had gotten her arrested, set her up, kept Henry from her, and then they'd somehow gotten involved, she had originally planned to stay a week for her kid. But then she'd taken Mary-Margaret up on her roommate offer, Graham had made her deputy and now she felt if she'd just left when she had planned to none of this current situation would be happening.
She was foolish to have let herself think that someone as hot and confident as Regina only had eyes for her, how long had she been sleeping with both her and Graham, they worked together, they had become friends, they never spoke of love interests or anything of that nature and now she was wishing at some point they had, then perhaps she would've found out sooner, at a time she would've been able to say no.
Her phone buzzes from it's spot on the bed next to her. She snatches it up.
'New Message: Regina'
She throws her phone back down and it goes off again almost immediately.
'New Message: Regina'
"Can't you just leave me alone," she huffs as she grabs her phone and unlocks it to view the messages.
'do you want to come over for lunch with Henry and I?' the first one reads.
'Noon sharp'
She quickly responds with a 'I'll be there', she loves spending time with Henry and as much as she doesn't want to see Regina right now he outweighs her any day.
She had an hour to get ready and head back over to the mansion, a nice hot shower and coffee are definitely required, so much for more sleep.
An hour and a half later, of course she'd run late, she stood rocking from heel to ball of her feet. Hands shoved in her back pockets on skin tight jeans, she wore a plain black sweater and on top the infamous red leather jacket, her favorite pair of brown lace up boots on her feet, she'd left her hair down and just let it be a curly mess today, she'd knocked and rang the doorbell of 108 and now she waited.
The door suddenly swung open and the wind got knocked out of her as the small brunette threw himself around her for a hug, she ruffles his hair and wraps an arm around his shoulders.
"Hey kiddo, what's for lunch?"
Henry pulls back and grabs the blonde's hand practically dragging her inside, "A pasta salad, and sandwiches" her stomach growls at the sound of food, and she can smell some sort of desert wafting from the kitchen.
"What's for desert?" she chuckles "I'll take some of that"
His voice drops to a whispered tone, " I wouldn't if I were you, it's apple pie."
She sighs, and here we go again with this, he hadn't been going on and on about the curse and all as much as time had gone on, as she'd stayed longer and nothing really changed, besides the clock starting and the mine collapsing which he still said was due to her, "Let's not do this today Henry, I didn't sleep much and I'm sure she's already annoyed that I'm late."
He releases her hand and shrugs before heading into the kitchen, "It's Emma" she hears him say. She hears the fridge open and what sounds like a bowl being set down on the countertop. She removes her boots and places them on the mat by the door, next she shrugs her jacket off and hangs it on the coat rack, she needs to find a way to get sometime with Regina alone today, she wants to ask her about Graham, it's not a good idea, she's well aware but answers are needed. Not that the answers will make it any easier, Emma's sure the answers will make it worse.
"Miss Swan, why don't you come help me finish the sandwiches," that voice, Emma groans, she's so screwed in all of this, Henry brushes past her in a rush and runs up that stairs.
She makes her way to the kitchen and leans against the doorway, "Where's he rushing to?"
Without even turning to look in her direction, the Mayor replies, "I told him that once you arrived he could have a half hour on his handheld, I'm running a bit behind of schedule, don't ask a 10 year old if there's enough cold cuts for three, his answer will simply be yes without having checked," Emma can see the eye roll even though Regina's back is facing her.
"After lunch can we talk?"
The brunette spins around to face the Deputy at that, an eyebrow raised.
"What about dear?" her arms extend behind her, gripping the edge of the counter, she had no idea what this could be about and that was new, she always had the upper hand, always knew everything.
"Just stuff, pertaining to," she clears her throat and stands from her leaning post, green eyes meet mocha, "sleeping arrangements."
"I suppose we can take Henry to the park after lunch perhaps, we can sit and chat then, now, come here," and Emma's legs are carrying her towards the brunette without it even processing in her brain. A hand slips into place on her lower back and they are close, in each others space, a hairs width apart, brown eyes flicker down to pink lips and up to green eyes.
"Henry's just upstairs" she manages in a very unconvincing tone, the Mayor smirks widely before blood red lips are on the still slightly parted lips of one Deputy Swan. The brunette pushes herself off the counter and none too gently backs Emma into the islander, their lips never separate, as her ass hits the counter top behind her a hiss of pain is released. And their lips finally part at that, blonde hair is brushed away from a slender neck, and Regina's lips find the pulse point placing a soft kiss there before she licks up to the shell of her ear and nips at the lobe in front of her.
"Re-gina" her breathe hitches as the sensations, the other woman doesn't let up on her ministrations either, she releases the lobe and moves back down trailing kisses down the pale throat available to her. Emma's head lulls back slightly, giving her more access, a quiet moan bubbling up in her throat as Regina sucks on her neck hard, she's going to have to wear a turtleneck for sure. Once she finishes there Emma can no longer hold back the moan as teeth clamp down on her collar bone.
Mocha eyes hold a look of accomplishment, and hunger as the Mayor stands and straightens up, "I want you to come over for dinner tonight, just the two of us," emerald eyes open as she regains control of her breathing and shifts uncomfortably trying to ignore the sudden heat below her belt, she focuses on the woman in front of her and sees the silent plea for her to say yes to her proposal.
"What time?" she doesn't know that they'll still meet up after this conversation that will occur at the park, though honestly she doubts she'll even start it there, or if she does Regina will somehow change the topic, Henry will be there after all, maybe they should discuss the topic on Emma's mind after dinner, they'd be alone, which would also be a plus in case they broke out into an argument. Knowing how they worked that was highly likely.
"Eight, and do try to be on time dear," she smiles and places a quick peck on Emma's cheek before stepping back to get the pie out of the oven and set it on a cooling rack.
"I was going to be on time, I ran into Archie and Pongo, and well five minutes didn't last five minutes," Regina sets the pie down and starts to make the sandwiches while Emma stands silently just watching, she catches herself staring at Regina's ass and shakes her head, 'dammit Swan, you're trying to figure out how to talk about the fact she hasn't been seeing just you and you're here staring at her ass, cut it out'.
Regina finishes preparing the food and plates it all, oblivious to Emma's internal battle right now.
"Call Henry down would you?" she says as she makes her way past the blonde with their plates, heading into the dining room.
Emma snaps out of her thoughts and follows into the dining room and out to the entrance, "Hey, kid!" she yells up from the bottom of the stairs. She doesn't hear any movement so she heads up. She makes it to his door and sees it cracked, she pushes it open to see the younger brunette is sprawled out, still fully clothed, and fast asleep, his handheld in the hand that is on the bed, his other hand is dangling off the side. She can't help but chuckle and grin, he's so her kid it's undeniable.
She grabs the sheet that's folded neatly at the bottom of the bed and throws it over him, tucking him in she removes his shoes and then places a soft kiss atop messy hair. "I'll see you later kid, depending on how this talk goes though, I can't say if it'll be soon," she sighs, and lingers for a moment just watching him sleep. In the past few months she'd been here they'd grown close, he'd slipped and called her Mom once and she had been hit with so many emotions all at once, he'd corrected himself at the look on her face, he hadn't understood all the emotions, he'd just seen one, the fear.
One day she'd talk to him about it, explain it, but in order for her to do that, she needed to come to terms with all the feelings herself first. She had to get over the fear, and realize that he didn't resent her giving him up, he understood it was to give him his best chance, those had been his words, but it still ate at her, still got to her.
She makes her way back towards the door, glancing over her shoulder at him and pausing in the doorway, this conversation most likely won't go well, she may not see him for awhile, he'd sneak out to see her probably but if workload suddenly increased when the Mayor got wind, she knew she'd be seeing much less than she'd prefer then.
As she enters the dining room Regina is already seated, a glass water next to her plate, the same for the blonde and one next to Henry's as well.
"Where is" Emma cuts her off before she can finish.
"Asleep, I'm guessing he didn't get much sleep at the sleep-over, then again what kid ever does," she shrugs and unceremoniously plops into her chair.
"Well I suppose we can have that conversation you wanted over lunch then," she smiles and Emma's heart sinks, she'd been counting on more time before this, why'd she bring it up in the first place, she had just wanted a few more hours, she was sure this was going to go downhill fast. Her emotions were on edge, Graham climbing out of the second floor window flashed through her mind, his words, she could almost hear them again.
She remains silent and stabs at her pasta salad, simply sliding a piece of pasta around her plate with her fork.
"Emma," Regina tries, she reaches a hand across the table and rubs her thumb soothingly over the top of her hand.
"It's nothing, forget I mentioned anything," a hand runs through blonde curls, and emerald eyes avoid looking at the woman across from her.
"Well now I'm curious,indulge me," she just wants her to look at her so she can get an idea of what is so wrong, what is bothering the younger woman.
Golden locks shake from side to side, "No, Regina just forget it please."
The brunette takes a sip of water, clearing her throat she tries again, "Miss Swan" her tone a bit more curt, "Tell me what the hell the issue is!"
Emma glances up into those eyes now, she's not sure if she's really furious or if it's hurt that she feels because of the title, maybe it's just the overall combination of emotions, "Don't Miss Swan me."
"I can do as I please, Miss. Swan." she puts extra emphasis on the name.
"Aren't we past that?! I can understand in public or in front of the kid, but when it's just us it's Emma, I'm someone to you, aren't I?!" when the Mayor tries to take the hand she was rubbing into her own, Emma pulls it away, she wants answers. "Regina what are we?!" she half yells, her voice full of unspoken emotions, voice straining.
"I don't understand what you mean dear," brown eyes hold a look of confusion.
"What am I to you, what are you to me?! Am I anything more than just a plaything, a bedmate?!" she pushes her chair back and stands, she clenches her fists by her side.
"Miss Swan, I suggest you keep your tone down, you were the one to inform me that Henry is asleep," she hisses, she doesn't understand where this is coming from, she doesn't understand why, they'd been getting along just fine earlier, what had changed between then and now.
"Oh and if I don't listen, then what Madam Mayor," her voice continues to raise in volume, she's shaking slightly because now she's definitely frustrated with this whole ordeal, Regina's deflecting, she's changing the topics, because she must have had some inkling somewhere in the back of her mind as to what this was about, either that or she knew that whatever the unknown was it wasn't going to end well for them, "You'll punish me? Arrest me again?"
Now she's heated as well, anger flashes through dark eyes, "I have not had you arrested in quite sometime Deputy," she snarls, pushing her own chair back, she doesn't stand but she places her arms on either arm of the chair and crosses her legs.
"Well then stop avoiding the questions and give me a god damn answer!" her voice echoes in the hall slightly, she sees the exact moment that mocha eyes become full of rage.
"I said to keep it down!" she's speaking in an angry whisper.
"What are we Regina?!" she can't stay calm or quiet, now she needs her question answered, needs to know, because her answer will determine how she handles her feelings about Graham.
"Why is it so important to you?!" olive arms grip the arms of the chair the woman inhabits tightly and she leans forward slightly.
The blonde throws her fists down against the table.
"Damn it Regina I just want to know, are we together, am I just a piece of ass? Because I don't think I'm just a good lay, I know you feel something too, I just want to know what?" she hates herself for the begging, pleading, desperate tone to her voice.
"I don't do relationships if that's what you're digging for, so I don't know what you would prefer I call this," she gestures between the two of them.
"And what about feelings? Do you just not do those as well? Because I can see it in your eyes, you can't hide them, you can try to ignore them but they won't go away"
"Do not tell me what I do or do not feel," walls slam up all over in her mind.
"You know what, I'm not hungry anymore," Emma says shoving her chair back under the table with force, so much so that their glasses of water rock and Regina's falls over, pouring all over her lap, she jumps up.
"Get out!" she growls. Emma scoffs and rolls her eyes, she feels the tears welling up, "And you can forget dinner later, unless you want to explain what the hell is going on, and why this is suddenly a discussion we are having, we've had this arrangement for over a month now, it's a bit late for questions!" her voice shakes with the anger she feels, why did she have to ask questions, why did it matter, they were alright going on how they had been, they hadn't been having issues, they didn't fight or argue as much as they originally had, and they had little moments when it was just the two of them alone together.
"Why don't you just invite Graham for dinner instead!" the Deputy yells, and after the words are out she watches the color drain from the other woman's face.
"Wha-" her tone is quiet now, and she almost sounds hurt, almost sounds like she has some regret of her actions, now she knows where this is going.
"I know you're sleeping with him! How long Regina?" her voice cracks and now the tears threaten to fall, one manages to and she bolts, turning on the spot she moves as fast as she can to get away. Regina is frozen in her place, pale as a ghost, no idea how to respond or what to say, she hears the rustling of the blonde getting her boots and coat and the slam of the front door, all as a quiet hum in the background.
She slumps back down in her chair and tears of her own roll down her cheeks silently as she clutches her face in her hands.
The sound of the volkswagon starting up and speeding away the last thing she hears before she realizes just how quiet the house is with Henry asleep, she might as well be alone.
"Em-" her voice shakes, full of raw emotions, emotions she'd been denying release for quite sometime now, her chest aches, she feels her heart pounding fast in her chest and it feels as if it may explode. She's left alone, dress wet from the water, three place settings at the table, two untouched, her eyes become unfocused as she stands picking up her empty glass from the table and hurls it at the wall across from her. The sound of the glass shattering seems louder than she thinks it should, she falls back against the wall behind herself and slides down it, pulling her knees to her chest, burying her face in her knees.
She lets the tears flow freely now.
R&R yes it ends like this for this chapter, don't hate me too much, I've got the next chapter completely written and edited so I'll only be waiting a few days to post the next part, it's going to be 3 or 4 parts or at least that's what I'm thinking right now, though when I started this it was going to be a oneshot HAHA or a two parter, and well, here we are looking at double that now, I just had so many ideas. More feels ahead, I would say I'm sorry but I'm not HA and also if that makes you feel some type of way well think of this, I was crying while editing this chapter so I killed myself with the angst as well.