The rain poured heavily in the night sky, thunder and lightning in its pursuit. But that was the last thing on Sonny Monroe's mind. She finished what she was writing and stood up, looking around one last time. When her lip quivered, she knew she had to hurry, because if she didn't, she'd give up on giving up. When she stepped outside, she didn't mind getting wet. She ignored the seeping cold that somehow made its way through her multiple sweaters. Her shivers meant nothing to her. The only thought in her mind was 'get to the bridge, Sonny. Just get to the bridge and it'll all be over…'.
Her heart thumped loudly in her fear, but she wasn't afraid of what she was about to do. No, she was afraid of how her parents would react. And her sister. Natalie was only the best little sister a girl could have. Nothing could shut up the little monster. It made Sonny smile, thinking of playing with her twelve year old sister. But it also made her cry, like her tears wanted to join the rain that was streaming down her pale face.
The therapist had been no help to her. She told him everything.
"I feel like I'm slowly dying… but from the inside. Like I'm fading away from this world." She remembered telling him.
That was on her first visit; the visit where she was diagnosed Melancholic Depression. The therapist told her that was the reason she had lost interest in singing. It was the reason she no longer felt like watching her crush, Chad. And now, she was sick of living. She was tired of it.
The cuts on her wrists were getting deeper. They were also harder and harder to hide from her family. Her mother was starting to get curious about her daughter, wondering why she was never hungry, why she rarely talked. But tomorrow morning, her mother would know, as would her father. Sonny didn't expect Natalie to understand it yet. How could she? She was only a little girl after all.
The old wooden bridge was in sight after a few minutes of walking. She could already hear the water rushing, flooded because of the constant rain. But she had planned it like this. Everything was going according to the plan. When her muddy boots hit the bridge, a loud thump sound echoed in the silence, making her flinch slightly.
When she was in the middle of the bridge, she froze, closing her eyes, letting a few more tears escape before brushing them away with her wet sleeve, only smearing the tears around instead.
Her wrists still hurt from today's cutting. The cuts were worse than ever, dripping more blood than Sonny thought possible. It made her weak, but still, she had enough strength to climb up and over the wooden railing, so she was facing the water. The rushing waves echoed into her ears as she closed her eyes, inviting her to join them.
But a familiar voice reached her ears, drowning out the river with his screams.
Chad's loud footsteps could be heard miles away as he ran to the other side of the bridge, begging he wasn't too late. "Sonny! Please!" He shouted. It felt like someone had grabbed his heart, squeezing it with every possible ounce of strength they had.
Sonny just looked at him, staring at him blankly.
"Sonny… You can't do this to me… Please…" Chad whispered, his own voice giving out on him.
Sonny just shook her head, wet brown hair flinging back and forth across her face with her abrupt motion. "It's your fault, Chad… You did this to me." She whispered back, more tears streaming down her face.
"Sonny! I'm sorry! If I could take it back, I would!" He shouted, hoping desperately for her forgiveness.
Sonny shook her head again, this time slowly, sadly. "You're only saying that so you won't have my blood on your hands." She couldn't bring her voice above her whisper. She no longer felt the need to.
Chad had been inching closer and closer to Sonny, hoping she wouldn't notice. But she had; she made a mental note that when he got too close, she was going to jump.
"I never meant for you to find out… Sonny… Please…" He stared at her with wide eyes, eyes full of hope and agony. She didn't trust the ice blue pools. She knew how well he could fake something; she knew it too well.
"Then you should've never made the bet." She replied, coldly. The bet had started this in the first place, only a month ago.
Chad had thought it would be fun if he made a bet with his cast, saying he could make Sonny Monroe fall for him. And she had, desperately. But then, only a day after they both said 'I love you', Sonny caught him with his cast, laughing at her stupidity. Chad had called her naïve, stupid, gullible, and worthless. Then he kissed Portlyn, who saw Sonny and pulled away, only to give her a smirk.
'Oh look! Ms. Gullible herself!' Portlyn had shouted while the rest of the cast laughed hysterically. Even Chad.
After that day, Sonny Monroe had changed. Tawni had noticed it first. Whenever they weren't rehearsing, Sonny wasn't smiling. She was moping on the couch in their shared dressing room. Sonny never wore anything but dark baggy jeans, and a long sleeved black sweater. The day after she heard Chad call her those four words, she carved each word into her skin. Worthless ran along her right arm, from wrist to shoulder in capital letters. Naïve ran along her left arm, from elbow to shoulder. Gullible rested on her left leg, form thigh to knee. And stupid lied on her right leg, from ankle to thigh. She had carved the word 'stupid' the biggest, always to remind herself of her stupidest mistake.
Sonny had stopped eating, too. After a few weeks of it, she had gone from the healthy, glowing girl, to a fragile, weak, dull impression of herself.
And Chad hadn't cared to notice. He hadn't noticed in fact, until Tawni had ran into his dressing room, crying hysterically.
"You did this to her! You monster!" She screamed, pointing a finger at Chad, tears streaming down her cheeks in rivers.
"And what exactly have I done to who, now?" Chad asked, annoyed. He hated how the Randoms thought they could just barge into the Falls set whenever they wanted.
"Haven't you seen Sonny lately? Chad, you complete jerk! How could you!"
That was when Chad's heart had stopped. He had thought Sonny was just avoiding him, so he stopped looking for her. He stopped bugging her, knowing what he had done last time was too far.
"What's wrong with Sonny?" He asked, concern running deep in both his voice, and his eyes.
"Don't act like you care, Cooper!" She threw an envelope at him and stormed out, sobbing hysterically.
Chad was very worried by then. He knew it would take a lot to make Blondie cry that hard.
He hesitated, his hand shaking, as he took out the pictures, not wanting to look at them. But when he did, his heart shattered. In the pictures, Sonny was sleeping. You could see Zora and Tawni in some pictures, rolling up Sonny's sleeves carefully, revealing the multitude of cuts. But what got to the blonde actor the most, was the four words. He remembered saying those four words about Sonny. He hated himself for doing this to her; he really did.
But even when he had tried to make contact with Sonny, the Randoms either blocked him from getting to her, or her phone was off. And Josh absolutely refused to give any letter from him to her. All Sonny's mail was checked by Josh himself, Sonny's approval given to him long before.
The So Random! cast wasn't so sunny anymore either. Zora stayed in the vents, only coming out for rehearsals. Nico and Grady only came to the cafeteria to grab food for everyone, then left, moving sluggishly, no longer throwing jokes at one another. And Tawni hardly looked at herself in the mirror lately. She had become Sonny's personal bodyguard. And since Connie was in Wisconsin for a while, Tawni made sure to sleep in her dressing room on her chair, while Sonny slept on the couch.
But a few minutes after Sonny had left, Tawni woke up. She had read the letter and started crying again, calling the first person she could think of. Chad had picked up on the first ring. When all he heard was Tawni's crying, he rushed over. The door was locked, but he broke it down, desperate to help Sonny in any way he could.
Tawni was crying too hard to say anything, so he just grabbed the note, knowing immediately where she was when he read it. The old wooden bridge had been the place they said 'I love you' to each other. It was a place of lies, in Sonny's opinion.
"I know, Sonny… I know." Chad whispered, not knowing what else to say.
Sonny took one more deep breath before turning around to face Chad. He could see the torment in her eyes, and he flinched. How could he do this to Sonny? How could he take the light from her eyes?
Sonny just laughed, rubbing her cheeks with her wrists, trying to get rid of the tears. But instead, it left a bloody smear, making Chad's heart die a little.
"Goodbye, Chad…" She whispered, throwing her arms out, letting herself fall backwards. "I'm worthless." She added, just before she tipped over the edge.
Chad ran to the edge, shouting her name over and over, agony tearing through him.
"Sonny!" He shouted, just as she hit the raging current beneath the bridge. He slumped to the ground, tears already streaming. "Sonny…" He whispered, starting to sob.
Chad woke up crying in his bed, the dream running through his mind over and over. More specifically, the words Sonny had said. "I'm worthless."
He couldn't get rid of her voice, her tears, her empty eyes… She was permanently stuck in his mind.
Chad got up, tears still falling, as he put a jacket on, trudging outside. He slumped into his car, putting the key in the ignition, and quickly tore out of the driveway.
It had become a nightly ritual for Chad. He'd wake up after the same dream, crying. Then he'd put on the same black jacket and head to the same cemetery. He'd slowly walk to the specific gravestone, and lay down next to it, repeating the words inscribed on the marble over and over in his head.
Here lies Sonny Monroe
Friend, Daughter, and Sister
"You'll never be worthless, Sonny.
No matter how many times
You carve it in your skin."
~ Chad Dylan Cooper
Born July 6th, 1994
Died July 5th, 2010
Chad would never forget the one day he ruined a life.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
A/N= Sorry the characters are OOC.
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