Hey. I'm alive. My new job just doesn't let me write while working. Also, I'm woefully behind on this project, and I've only just finished January.
Originally posted to tumblr 2016-01-02.
/ Day 2 (2016.01.02)
/ 1. v. to make whole again; restore to a perfect state; renew; re-establish
Entangling with another's grace was quite an intimate matter. Considering that that was all angels were made of when they were in heaven, one may think it was nothing short of a grace-orgy. One would be wrong.
Angels did not touch, did not brush against one another, didn't so much as breeze through misty grace trails. Unless you were mated, fighting was the most intimate one could be with another angel.
When Castiel volunteered, or rather, was drawn, to rebuild the Righteous Man, he had expected the contact between grace and soul to be just that - contact.
He couldn't have been more wrong.
The pain and the goodness of the human's soul made it one of the most beautiful Castiel had ever seen. And touching it, oh but Father, touching it made him want to wrap it in his essence and take it into his grace and covet it until it felt loved and welcome. Because it felt neither of those things. It loved so strongly, and yet, it did not feel the freedom of reciprocation. It wasn't until that time that Castiel realized why some thought pain was beautiful.
He was meticulous, in putting Dean Winchester back together. He made sure there were no stray wisps of that soul caught on any hooks or spikes. He made sure the physical form was in peak condition. The only thing he could not do was heal the soul itself.
He tried. He really did. He coaxed and he played and he comforted, but still Dean resisted. Which Castiel hadn't even thought was possible. It was as if the man was resistant to his... love? Was that what it had become? He wouldn't - shouldn't - be surprised.
Angels were born to love their Father's creations, but most didn't find a creation to love. It happened. It had been happening with Castiel for millennia, but somehow, within the space of a mission, he had found such a thing.
It was beautiful... and terrible. Becoming that intimate with a soul, until you know it better than it knows itself, it rends your own grace clean through so it can twine and become more beautiful than any individual grace or soul. But when the soul returns home, and fails to recognize you on a conscious level... well, that is a pain Castiel was unprepared for and is still struggling to handle.
FINIS
2016 10M WotD Master Post (themadkatter13fanfiction tumblr, /10M-WotD-2016).
Like the thing? Reblog the thing (themadkatter13fanfiction tumblr, tagged/Redintegrate). Tschüß.