She wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with anyone. That was never part of her plan. Love was a sign of weakness. Love was giving another person the power to change you, control you, make you a better person, and break you. Love was trust. Trusting someone not to let you down, but giving them the power to. The ball was in their court once you gave them your heart. Well, the ball was no longer in her court now. It was his decision that could change her life for better or worse.
She always assumed it wouldn't affect her if he decided to break up with her. It wasn't like she hadn't been hurt many times before. Her mother was never around much being the TJ Tyler and all. So, she never really knew what love was. She had never witnessed love between her parents and they certainly hadn't shown her love. Her father abandoned her when she was only two years old. Her mother did the same when she turned four. Honestly, she didn't love her mother either. Did she admire her? Yes. Did she want to be perfect just like her? Yes. Did she want to impress her? Yes.
But it wasn't out of her love for her mother. It was out of her hate for her. She wanted to show her mother that she was worth something even if it wasn't much. She wanted her to see that she could be better than her. That she could ruin her. That she could become more famous than her. Hate was something that she knew very well. But love, no. Not love.
That was until he came into her life. She was attracted to him right away. And when he first spoke to her with his deep, velvety voice that was when she knew she had to have him. And she did soon enough. But the problem with that was that he also had her. And by giving herself away, Tess Tyler destroyed herself. She was no longer in charge. Nate was. And Tess often wondered if Nate did it on purpose, if it was all part of his plan. He could make her fall for him and then he could rip her to shreds. Finish off what her mother had started.
And that was why Tess was now stuck in the bathroom of her cabin all alone with a shard of glass in her hand and a deep cut on her wrist. Tess didn't remember exactly when she started cutting herself. She used to do it just to make sure that she was still alive and this wasn't all just a bad dream. She didn't know how long she'd been doing it now, and she thought once Nate loved her it would stop. All of the pain would just stop. It didn't. It never would. But it did now. Tess didn't remember exactly when she started cutting herself. But tonight, tonight was the night she stopped. And as she watched the blood dripping onto the floor, Tess felt nothing. For once in her life, Tess felt no pain. And she felt the tears threatening to fall as she sat there feeling sorry for herself. But she willed herself not to cry. She wouldn't cry for Nate. She wouldn't cry for anyone. But even with all her strength Tess couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face one by one. She wasn't supposed to love him.
Damn him.