Title: His Hell
Author: Distant Image
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Angel thinks about what will happen when he is dusted. During
Earshot
I still couldn't get Faith out of my mind. I hated her; I hated her with fiery passion. Yet she was lodged in my mind. When my time was finally up and I was sent off to whatever Hell dimension, she would be there. She'd haunt me for eons, never ending torture.
Buffy would be there too, just a different Buffy. She'd look the same and have the same friends. But she wouldn't love me. She would taunt me until I was forced to attack her. I won't be able to drink. But I'll strike her. My mind will tell me to stop, but what can stop the devil? With no end in site I'll hit her again, and again. Until her face bleeds. And my heart will break.
Everyday I'd be sent back to that moment 223 years ago. I'd only be human for a few more seconds, a minute at most. My breathing would slow, my heart would stop, and I would be dead.
The regret of that moment would be just as bad as the rest. Not that being a vampire was that much worse then what I had been, a drunken lay about. 220 years had taught me something about people. That they were all better then I had been. I was a better person now then I ever had been. I wouldn't know that if I hadn't been bitten, and I wouldn't have met Buffy, wouldn't be like this.
If she hadn't made me so happy I would be safe, not in this paradox of love, not in Hell. Maybe the next will be better.
I still couldn't get Faith out of my mind. I hated her; I hated her with fiery passion. Yet she was lodged in my mind. When my time was finally up and I was sent off to whatever Hell dimension, she would be there. She'd haunt me for eons, never ending torture.
Buffy would be there too, just a different Buffy. She'd look the same and have the same friends. But she wouldn't love me. She would taunt me until I was forced to attack her. I won't be able to drink. But I'll strike her. My mind will tell me to stop, but what can stop the devil? With no end in site I'll hit her again, and again. Until her face bleeds. And my heart will break.
Everyday I'd be sent back to that moment 223 years ago. I'd only be human for a few more seconds, a minute at most. My breathing would slow, my heart would stop, and I would be dead.
The regret of that moment would be just as bad as the rest. Not that being a vampire was that much worse then what I had been, a drunken lay about. 220 years had taught me something about people. That they were all better then I had been. I was a better person now then I ever had been. I wouldn't know that if I hadn't been bitten, and I wouldn't have met Buffy, wouldn't be like this.
If she hadn't made me so happy I would be safe, not in this paradox of love, not in Hell. Maybe the next will be better.