A/N: Hey guys! So I decided a while ago that I wanted to explore Bucky's trigger words because there has to be a meaning behind them, right? So this fic is going to be a one-shot series with each chapter dedicated to a different word.
Longing
Bucky longed for a normal life. At least, in his more lucid moments, that is what he dreamt of.
At night he dreamed about what must have been his life before HYDRA. There were his younger siblings, and his mother with her tired, kind eyes. His friends in his squadron during the war and the echo of gunshots. And a skinny blonde kid named Steve. Always Steve.
He woke up grasping for these memories, longing to be back there where life was simpler. That is, until his training kicked back in and they faded into nothing.
Sometimes though, on missions, he would see something and feel a strange yearning. It was seemingly random, although Bucky suspected there was something behind it. The feeling was strongest when he was sent to Brooklyn. Everything there was so familiar, yet so strange too.
Bucky felt no remorse when he gazed upon the dying face of Howard Stark. His training had programmed him against all feeling towards his victims. Only... He was aware of some sort of longing deep in his stomach. He was within touching distance of the past he was sometimes so desperate to retrieve.
Though he doesn't know it, he always looked out for the one called Steve. He checked down alleyways in case the kid had gotten himself into another fight he couldn't finish. Often, Steve would be there, dripping blood, but never giving up.
Sometimes he still looks. For a fleeting moment, the Winter Soldier allows himself to be distracted. He doesn't know why, but he always looks, always hopes.
He never knows what he's looking for.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed that, and thanks so much for reading. Please review if you want and I'll post again soon, I hope. Bye!