The Legendary Cloud Saga
This is one of the sequels to The Cloud Saga. It is quite long. Enjoy! Remember kids, Cait Sith's name is pronounced "Ketshee".
(Cloud, Aeris and all the other members of The Cloud Saga were in the Midgar meeting room. Perhaps I should describe it. It is in my apartment, which happens to be the room next to Cloud's room. It is furnished with leather couches and a big screen TV. I also have a bar area complete with whiskey, vodka, rum, and other alcoholic beverages. There is a red carpet, and a bathroom with a hot tub.)
Cloud: As you all know, a strange force has revived Sephiroth.
Tifa: No duh!
Yuffie: Cloud likes Ae-OW! (Gets hit by Chinese Throwing Socks)
Cloud: So how we gonna kick his ass?
Vincent: I vote Torture Rack!
Yuffie: I'm gonna go with Vinnie on this one.
Tifa: Fists!
Barret: Blow his damn top off!
Cid: I'm gonna agree with Mr. Fat Ass here.
Barret: Hey hey hey hey! What's that you called me?
Cloud: QUIT FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!
(everyone stops and looks at Cloud)
Cloud: Eeeeeehhhh……uhhhhhh………eeeehhhhhhhhhh…..uhhhhhh…..
Barret: Breathe, man!
Tifa: So……..
Aeris: So……
Red XIII: So……
Cait Sith: So…….
Yuffie: So?
Vincent: Bugenhagen.
Cloud: BWAHAHA!
Tifa: Can we just get a damn drink?
Aeris: (giggles) funny, funny! (giggles)
Cloud: Hee hee…..
Cait Sith: This cat's got big hands! Oh wait, they're not mine….
Cloud: Anyone want gum?
Tifa: I'll take some!
Cait Sith: Step up now! We'll crush yer bones! YEE HAA!
Cloud: Target Number 2…….FIRE! (throws Chinese Throwing Sock Missiles)
Cait Sith: Yes folks, I can de-bone a chicken from-OW! By gosh, I've been hit! Bloody nightmare!
Vincent: This ain't "The People's Court", you badass Mog! This is a war meeting!!
{CUT! Out of character! TAKE 2!}
Vincent: This is NOT the Barnum and Bailey, circus, cat! This is a planning session!
{CUT! A little less business-like, Vin-man!}
Vincent: HEY! Don't call me Vin-Man!
{Heh heh…sorry. Anyway, TAKE 3!}
Vincent: This isn't any big event or anything, you know. We are trying to find out how to kill Sephiroth!
{PERFECTION!!!!}
Vincent: YES!!!!
{Okay, now THAT was out of character. Get back in character. Returning to the fic…..}
Cait Sith: Sorry about that!
Cloud: So how are we gonna take out Sephiroth?
Barret: Let's think later. Right now, I want a drink.
Cloud: GOOD IDEA!
(Later, at the Big Spittoon Bar in Costa Del Sol)
Red XIII: MMM……I love tap water…….
Bugenhagen's Ghost: No, Nanaki! Drink Poland Springs! Th only water fresh from Maine! Now at a lower price than ever before! Get them while they are hot….err….cold!!!!
Red XIII: Okay then….MMM….I love Poland Springs…..
Yuffie: Coke is good!
Cloud: Ah! Nothin' like a good stiff drink. Whiskey's the best, followed by Rum, then a good Bud.
Barret: That's nothing! I take a Whiskey-Vodka mix. It's a killer. Literally! I mean, if you drink a liter of this stuff, you're gone!
Cait Sith: 7-Up is the best! No arguing! Right, pal? WHAT??? Pepsi????? What planet are YOU from???? Oh yeah…another planet….whoops…..
Tifa: I love a shot of Vodka!
Cloud: Mogs rule!
Cait Sith: Why thank you! Oh wait, I'm a CAT……sorry!
Cloud: Eh, fuhgetta (hic) bout it!
Cait Sith: Okay, Jersey Devil!
Cloud: HEY! Wazzat (hic) you callin' me?
Barret: He called you a (hic) Jersey (hic) Devil.
Cloud: I KNOW (hic) what he (hic) damn (hic) called me!!!
Tifa: How about we go kill Sephiroth now? We can use normal fighting.
(later, in the North Crater)
Sephiroth: Ah, I see you've come back to kill me once again. Well, this time, you won't succeed! The reason being, I have a new plan. EVASIVE ACTION!!!!!! SEE YA! BYE!
(Sephiroth runs away)
Cait Sith: Come back you two headed, three eyes gumball brains!!!!! And I mean that too!! Really! Hey, get back here!
Cloud: Eh, shut up, you stupid cat.
Cait Sith: Hey! I take offense of that!!
Cloud: You take offense of everything!
Cait Sith: I do not! Okay, I do so! But still! I deserve a trial! Where's my lawyer??
Cloud: YOU HAVE NO LAWYER!!!! BWAHAHA! BURN IN HELL!
Aeris: Um……Mr. Cat?
Cait Sith: I will call in my lawyer, you-huh? Aeris? Yeah?
Aeris: Uh….aren't you a Shinra person?
Cait Sith: Uh, I used to be, remember?
Cloud: A TRAITOR!! A SPY!!!! I remember now!
Aeris: Let him live, Cloud!
Cloud: Oh, all right, fine. But let's get back to the subject!
Aeris: Lemons…..
Cait Sith: Sour……
Cloud: Quit straying off-topic!
Aeris: (giggles) sorry! (giggles)
Reno: Hi guys!
Lila: HI RENO!!!!
Cloud: I love whiskey!!! (starts to dance)
Reno: Just stopped in to say hi!
Rude: I am rude! I am a rudey-poo! I will insult you! Your hair looks like a monkey's ass!
Cloud: HEY!!!!!
Reno: SHUT UP!!! (kicks Rude out of fic)
Lila: New suit?
Reno: Yeah. Why?
Lila: Just wondering.
Cloud: Time for some witty one-liners! Let's go to my apartment and watch MST3K!!!!
Everyone: OK!!!!
(and so, they do)
TV: Cambot! Gypsy! Tom Servo! Crooooooooooooow!
Yuffie: Heh heh! I love this show!
Cloud: Yuffie's a dickhead!
Yuffie: HEY!
Reno: Lila, you like Coke?
Lila: I ADORE Coke. HEE HEE! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE LEMONS HEE!
Cloud: I can't think of any funny things to say! Oh poo!
Cait Sith: OW! I cut myself on this coffee machine! OH NO! A boo-boo! WAAAAAAH!
Cloud: Yikes! A scream! (jumps) OW! (hits head on ceiling)
Cid: Poo shit. Poo shit. Poo shit. Lemons. Poo shit. Poo shit. Poo shit.
TV: Mike: Uh….a gutter……Someone: Bumper… Mike: Shoot! Tom Servo: Hey! That sounds GOOD! Gutter bumper shoot! Everyone: Gutter bumper shoot, gutter bumper shoot!
Cloud: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABUGENHAGENHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Cid: This is funny shit!
Cloud: I MISS TED TED! WAAAAAH!
Lila: RENO RULES! ICED TEA FOREVER!!!!
Reno: Why thank you, Lila! HA HA! YAY! Lila likes me! Is it my suit? It's Brooks Brothers!
Lila: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: Let's go find Sephiroth now!
(And so, they go back to North Crater)
Aeris: Seriousness shots!
Red XIII: (prick) OUCHIE! SETO! I NEED YOU! I'M BLEEDING AND I CAN'T GET UP! Wait a minute……..
Cait Sith: (prick) Hey, quit rockin' the boat, buddy! What's wrong? Did that shot-(prick) OWWWW!!!! Hey, that hurt! You're mean!
Vincent: (prick)Another droplet of rain!
Cloud: (prick) OWIGA! YOWIE! ZOWIE!!!!!!!
Aeris: Now, let's get Sephiroth!
Cloud: Okay!
Sephiroth: I'm right here! (comes out of the shadows) WANNA TRADE POKEMON CARDS?????
Cloud: OMNIOUCH!
Sephiroth: OW! No! I never got to see "Scary Movie"!!! ACK……..
(Sephiroth dies)
Cloud: WE WON!
Aeris: YAY!
(Cloud and Aeris kiss)
Cloud: Ick! Lemon alert!
Aeris: Lemon fresh!
Cloud: NEW PINE SOL! THE SWEET SMELL OF LEMONS!!!!
Aeris: The end!
Cloud: NO!!!!!! I WANT TED TED!! WAAAAAAAH!!!!
THE END!