Revised and edited (as best as I could). If you find mistakes, sorry.
I absolutely love David - though Darlene will always be my favorite - and I wanted to delve deeper into the whole Kevin-David thing. So enjoy!
David-Centric
Summary: It starts as a joke, but somewhere along the way, he starts to like David more than Kevin. Because David has a good life and a good family. Kevin doesn't really have anyone.
Disclaimer: I do not own Roseanne. This fic was written for entertainment purposes only.
The Man with Two Names
When he introduces himself and she smiles thoughtfully, it is the first moment in a long time that he has felt hope. She is pretty, with long, untamed hair and big brown eyes that twinkle with laughter. Her voice screams sarcasm and wit. He likes that.
The next day, she is in detention and so is he. He'd been late to a stuffy teacher's class in hopes that she would hand him a detention slip and much to his delight, she did. In truth, he really just wanted to see her again.
"Hey," the pretty girl grins. "I thought I'd find you here." He smiles back, looking just as pleased. Then her face takes on an expression somewhere between thoughtful and distaste. "But listen, I'm not calling you Kevin."
He is confused by this, but nods – unsure – as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. It is his usual defense mechanism to uncomfortableness and anxiety.
"I'm calling you David," she chuckles. "Yeah, David is better."
He finds himself laughing because man, this girl is strange. Suddenly, his hand is extended. "I'm David," he says jokingly. Instead of shaking his hand she gives him a fist bump and he is more than happy to oblige.
"I'm Darlene - don't wear it out."
In this moment, his is more than happy to be David. Not Kevin.
As time passes, it's not a joke anymore. He starts to feel more like David than Kevin. At home, he is still Kevin, but with everyone else he is David. Mark doesn't even think twice about calling him David and he is sure it is because Mark wishes he could be someone else, too. Mrs. Conner gives him a funny look when he calls himself David for the first time, having already met him as Kevin, but after he confides that Darlene decided to change his name, she laughs. It seems, he muses, Darlene is very much her mother's daughter.
It doesn't take long for him to forget that his real name is Kevin. His mom and his sisters call him Kevin, and his Dad is hardly ever around to do so. Mark never calls him Kevin and neither does anyone else. His birth certificate may say Kevin Healy, but he prefers David.
Because Kevin is the one from a broken home, not David. Kevin is the one with an ass of a father and a medicated mother who refuses to take her pills because she isn't crazy. That is all she says. "I'm not crazy. Why the fuck do I need pills?" Kevin never says anything, and neither does anyone else. Maybe if Mark were around he would, but Mark was kicked out of the house when he was sixteen so he doesn't have a say. Not that he ever really did.
Kevin is the one that practically raised his sisters, Lisa and Nikki. They love Kevin and call him every Saturday to tell him all about Michigan and their new friends and how Dad is better now that he is away from Lanford. Kevin has a feeling that his dad is only better because he is away from his wife. Kevin is also upset that his dad doesn't call to talk to him or to ask him to come and visit. Kevin kind of feels like his dad doesn't care about him anymore. Not that he ever really did.
Kevin is the one who his mom likes to slap on the back of the head more often than not. He knows his mom is messed up, really messed up. She screams a lot and does things that Kevin really wishes she wouldn't. He wishes she wouldn't come home so late, smelling like booze. He wishes she would stay away from that junkie's house. But mostly, Kevin wishes his mom cared enough about him to stop.
Kevin is the one who doesn't really have parents. Not David.
David is one of the Conners. He has parents and he has siblings and he has a girl that loves him. David is loved. David is whole. David is who Kevin prefers to be.
When the move to Michigan threatens David's existence, his heart feels like it is breaking. No one will call him David, the person he wants to be. He will be Kevin again, and he hates Kevin more than anything because even if David is polite and shy, it is Kevin who has no backbone. Kevin is the one that takes everything his parents throw at him and never says a word back. Kevin is weak, not David.
"I don't want to leave you," he tells Darlene. He loves Darlene, even if they are just teenagers. She's crazy and she's witty and quirky, but he loves her and he wouldn't have her any other way. "So, I think you and me should go to New York. Now."
He knows he is asking a lot of her. She is still in school and she is doing much better than anyone ever expected. She has exceeded expectations and continues to do so because that's who Darlene is - smart, funny, beautiful, and the girl who can achieve anything she sets her mind to.
But he is asking her to run away from that. He is asking her to go with him and he knows it is the most selfish thing he will ever do. He just doesn't want to leave her. Because David loves Darlene and he refuses to revert back to Kevin. Darlene doesn't like Kevin. She likes David.
"Whoa," she says and his heart falls because he knows what comes next. "David, we can't just leave." She doesn't like Lanford, but she loves her family, even if she has a funny way of showing it sometimes.
He tries to coax her, but it doesn't work. She is firm on her decision, and when Darlene makes up her mind it can't be changed. Then, anger and grief roars in his chest and before he knows it, he is accusing her of not caring about him. He doesn't mean it. He knows Darlene cares, she wouldn't have stayed with him this long if she didn't. She wouldn't have even let him in through the window a minute ago. But she did.
"Of course I do!" she snaps, looking hurt and dumbfounded by his accusation. "I love you!"
Of course, flustered by her outburst, she ends it with calling him a jerk. That's Darlene for you. Still, he feels light now. Kevin has retreated and David lives again. However, she still won't leave with him.
So, that's it. This is goodbye. He'll probably never see her again, and he feels his eyes burn as he packs his things in boxes. He is going to miss Darlene and he is going to miss the Conners and he is going to miss David.
Darlene, and he really didn't care if people told him he was too young and stupid, is the love of his life. She is everything he is not and though they are polar opposites in so many ways, it works for them. She's the fiery side of life, even when she likes to use that monotonous voice. He is not as passionate as her and she helps him with that. He is a foil that keeps her cool and level headed, even though sometimes it is him that needs her to be the voice of reason. Darlene and David work.
But David will soon be no more.
"Kevin!" his mom calls, sounding distraught. He races downstairs to see what is wrong. His heart leaps when he sees Mrs. Conner, who looks both surprised and dubious.
"What is all this crap about you running away?" his mother demands. She looks livid and confused. He knows that his day just became much longer. "And who said it was okay for you to move into her house – and don't lie to me!"
He peeks over at Mrs. Conner, feeling sorry for lying and sorry that she has to meet his mother at all. She stares back, bewildered. He isn't sure if this is because he lied or because of his mother.
"I'm not running away," he says, his voice soft. He knows what is coming. "Moving into her house was just an idea. We didn't think it would hurt to ask."
He is lying. It wasn't just an idea. And he knows it would hurt his mother. A part of him takes a sadistic pleasure in it and another feels so sorry. His mother is already messed up, no need to add more to it.
"So," her eyes - big, blue eyes so unlike his - harden and he readies himself. "You were going to abandon me just like you father did." It's not a question.
He hates being compared to his father. It is Mark that took more after their father, in looks and attitude. Even when he was Kevin, he didn't really fit into the family. Kevin doesn't look like he is a part of the family. Mark has black hair and hazel eyes like their dad, and the girls look exactly like their mom. Kevin had brown hair and plain brown eyes. The girls are lively and outgoing and Mark is tough – a little dumb sometimes – but he is street smart and he knows his way around. Kevin is shy and mild-mannered and intelligent. Kevin doesn't fit into the broken, insignificant puzzle that is the Healy family.
"Mrs. Conner, could you leave us alone, please?" He really hopes she does, but he's spent enough time with Roseanne Conner to know her. He just wishes she didn't have to see his mom like this.
"No," his mother snaps, "I want her to stay here so you can tell her you're sorry for being such a pathetic little liar."
And so, he sighs, it begins.
Kevin has gone his whole life being called things by his mother. His father never cared to say anything about it. Besides, what could Kevin say? Kevin craved affection and attention. He doesn't actually remember ever getting it, but he wants it. So his mother's words sting more than anything, but he takes them. He won't stick up for himself even though Mark did. Mark always said sometime when their mom called the eldest names and when she called Kevin names, too. Mark is the only one that's ever stood up for him. But Mark isn't here right now and he can't protect him.
When Mrs. Conner insists that he doesn't have to apologize for anything, he knows that she is trying to save him like she always does. Mrs. Conner cares for him in a way that his mother never has.
"Yes, he doe," his mother glares at the both of them – him because she hates him and Mrs. Conner because she hates that he has chosen her. "I want you to see what kind of ungrateful garbage I've raised."
He wants to snort. Since when has she ever cared? She can hardly be called a mother. She never raised him. If anything, Mark was the parent and that isn't saying much since Mark was only two when Kevin was born. But Mark took care of him. He remembers the nights he woke from bad dreams and Mark would promise that it was okay and that he would protect Kevin – always. Mark taught him how to read and write even though he wasn't so great at it himself. Mark taught him how to ride a bike, even though he pushed Kevin a few times. Mark is the only sense of stability Kevin has ever known.
Then, much to his horror, his mother calls Mrs. Conner's daughters whores. He's just waiting for fists to fly.
Becky and Darlene are not whores. They're pretty much the opposite. Becky actually married before sex – much to his surprise considering her husband is Mark – and Darlene is a virgin who has done well in high school and is on her way to the top. Hell, even DJ's a good role model, though he's a little off. As far as he's concerned, Roseanne has done a better job than his parents have in raising children.
Of course, Mrs. Conner insults his mother in return. He isn't surprised nor does he really care. She deserves it.
"It's over," he says as he gets between the woman who gave birth to him and the woman he actually considers his mom. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
It's an empty promise. He would love to go anywhere as long as his mother isn't there. He would love to go with the Conners because that is who his family is. The Healys are not his family. Even Mark considers himself more of a Conner than a Healy.
"Love to see you try and run away," his mother scoffs. "You think you can try and live without me? You think you can survive for two minutes out in that world unless I was taking care of you! "You are worthless!"
He's worthless. That's true. Kevin is worthless.
"You are worthless, little bastard!"
He feels humiliated. It isn't the first time she has yelled at him, but it is the first time Mrs. Conner has ever seen it. He feels small, very small. Now, she knows just what kind of mother he has. Kevin is ready to break.
A hand grips his arm and pulls him away from his mother. "Okay, I'm changing my mind. David, you can come live with us if you want to."
His heart leaps at her words and he can't hide the relief on his face.
"Are you trying to steal my kid?" his mother roars.
He is not her kid. He has never been her kid. He is Mrs. Conner's and her invitation has proven that.
"This isn't about stealing anything," Mrs. Conner snaps. "Whether he runs away or comes to my place, he is not gonna' stay here with you."
So, this is what it is like to have a mom. Someone who loves you and takes care of you. Someone who protects you, even if it's from your own mother.
"That's not true," his mother's voice cracks. "Is it, honey?" She touches his face, and he doesn't like it. Her hands are too soft and too deceiving.
He wishes she wouldn't call him that. She is desperate and he knows it. His father has already left and taken the girls with him. His mother is lonely and a part of him thinks she deserves it.
"I want to live with them," he says, sounding more sincere than he ever has.
"Look, you know I don't mean it when I do this, baby. I just - I'm going through a tough time right now, okay?"
It's the same thing. I love you, I'll stop. I'll get better, I promise.
"I won't talk like that again. I'll never say it again!"
This is a lie. They both know it.
"Don't you love me?"
For some reason, he does. He loves her. She is his mother, even if she is not a very good one. He doesn't really remember her ever acting like a mom, but he still loves her. Perhaps it is his masochistic nature – how else would anyone explain his relationship with Darlene – but he loves his mother.
And he hates her, too.
It's her fault. She broke Kevin a long time ago and continues to pick him apart, nearly shattering him every time. She makes him feel worthless and weak and useless. She makes Kevin contemplate suicide and he thinks that if the Conners hadn't come along, he might have ended it a long time ago.
"I can't keep doing this," he croaks, his throat feeling tight. This is all she ever manages to make him do. Hurt. Ache.
"Okay," she nods, breathless. She's angry, so angry that she wants to hit him. But Mrs. Conner is ready. Mrs. Conner won't let her. "Get out now!"
"Okay," he murmurs.
"Now!" And she runs away like she always does.
"Come on, David," Mrs. Conner pulls him. "We'll get your stuff later."
He likes that she says "we'll". Like he matters.
"Let's go home."
Home; because the house he has shared with his family is not a home. His home with Darlene and the Conners.
All the rules Mr. Conner throws at him are fine. He doesn't mind them. As long as he can stay with Darlene and the Conners – with David – he is fine.
Slowly, Kevin starts to disappear completely. He has let go of the Healys almost completely and the Conners have embraced them like he is their own.
Mrs. Conner is the mother has always wanted, and a little more. And Mr. Conner is the father he never had. DJ is the annoying little brother and Becky's always been something of a sister since Mark brought her around – even if he did have that little crush on her. Darlene is Darlene, everything he could ever ask for.
Before he and Darlene get married, he gets his name changed. He doesn't want Kevin on the marriage certificate. Kevin is gone.
Kevin would never survive nearly losing the baby. Kevin would've broken. But David has a supporting family and a loving wife, whom he needs to be there for. David is strong enough for this, even though it is the hardest thing he has ever gone through. David gets through it, and David holds his little baby girl when she is finally strong enough to breathe on her own.
He writes David Healy on Harris Conner Healy's birth certificate.
And in this moment, David – not Kevin – feels inexplicably happy.
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Thanks for reading!
-MakingLuck101