Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything that comes from "That 70's Show" or "Little Moments" by Brad Paisley.
A/N: This means flashbacks. This means the song lyrics.
"Women are SO confusing!"
"No, they're brainwashed by the consumerism to out to get us men!"
"Women are wacky. Not all of them are like my sweet, sweet candies!"
"Man, I LOVE chicks! They're the BEST!"
Eric, Hyde, and Fez all turned to glare at a cheery Kelso who had a handful of lollipops in his hand, stumbled slightly across from the little candy counter on the corner of the bar, HiFeliz, which ran by Hyde and Fez, to the table and plopped himself down on a chair.
Here they were, minus the girls, twelve years after high school, sitting at a table full of bowls of peanut candy mix and bottles of beer.
"You know, I don't know what Donna's problem is! Yesterday, when I told her that I had to work late, she said it was fine, but after I got home, she was yelling at me for being a jerk and locked the bedroom door! I ended up sleeping on the freaking couch, and now my back hurts!" Eric whined while rubbing his sore back.
"Oh Eric," Fez shook his head, "my dear friend, you still don't get women's language. When they say, 'fine', they mean 'not fine you dillhole'!"
"Well then, when the hell will I know when she means fine is fine?" Eric frowned.
"That's the mystery," shrugged Fez.
"When they wanna do it?" Kelso asked hysterically.
"Hey Forman man," said Hyde taking another slip of his beer, "it's better when they want you to guess instead of yapping it away like Jackie. At least you get some peace and quiet when Donna gives you the silent treatment. You know, Jackie's been telling me for a whole damn month about what she wants for the NEXT Valentine's Day! Like I would get her anything on some corporation-made holiday!"
"Hehehe, that's what you get for living with a devil!" Eric chuckled, pointing his index finger at Hyde's unamused face. Hyde slapped it away hard, and Eric yelped in pain while he laughed.
"Well, I'm glad I don't have any relationship problems-oh who am I kidding," sighed Fez, "Fez wants to have problems! Why can't I get some loving!"
"But seriously Hyde, how can you stand her? What do you live for? I mean she's THE devil!" Eric asked after recovering from the pain.
Hyde's first instinct was to make him shut up, but the question struck him somehow. What did he live for in a relationship with someone like Jackie?
This wasn't one of his casual flings; this was a serious relationship, which was something he hadn't done before.
For starters, Jackie wasn't exactly the type of girl he'd dreamed. Well, except for her hotness maybe.
Nevertheless, he still ended up with her. For what though?
Jackie's fuming eyes searched for Hyde the second she stormed into the house, slammed the front door behind her. As soon as her blue-hazel eyes spotted him sitting on the couch watching TV with his back facing her and seemed totally unaware of her presence, her anger grew stronger.
She stared at the back of his head waiting for him to turn around and acknowledge her, but he kept acting nonchalant. She then decided enough was enough and went to stand in front of Hyde blocking his view.
"What the fuck did you think you were doing? You could've ruined my whole career!" She accused outrageously, poking at his collarbone with one hand and another rested on her hip.
Hyde gaped at her for a moment.
Well I'll never forget the first time that I heard
That pretty mouth say that dirty word
But, he quickly went back to his usual Zen-self and replied,
"What are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about? What am I talking about!" She almost screamed. She couldn't believe him sometimes!
"I'm talking about you, being the asshole that you are, went ahead and threatened the shit out of Max who is just doing his job of managing my modeling-"
"I only gave him advices. I didn't make any threats directly towards him! Besides, who wants to see you practically half naked rolling in a bed with some dumb cheesy model guy for a stupid perfume commercial?" Hyde defended.
"Well, now I know I can show my naked body to one less person! You know what Hyde, I am my own woman, and I make decisions to what I see is fit, and if you don't like it, you can either talk to me about it or suck it up! Ugh, I'm gonna go get some fresh air!"
Jackie walked angrily back to the door. When her hand was about to turn the doorknob, she swirled around to only face the back of Hyde's head again and said calmly, almost too calmly,
"Oh, and for your information, before you've stupidly started this whole fiasco, I was discussing with Max to make the 'dumb cheesy guy' to be you!" And she walked out of the door.
Hyde leaned his head back against the couch and cussed, 'Damn, how did she find out this fast?'
"Please Steven?"
"No!"
"Pretty please?"
"NO!"
"Please Steven, just this once?" Already changed into her outfit of the day, Jackie followed Hyde, who was still in his bathrobe, down to the kitchen from their bedroom.
"That's what you said the last time." Hyde reminded her while pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"This is the very last, last time I promise! You know I wouldn't ask if it weren't for my car is still in the shop, please?"
"Well, you can go take a cab or a bus, walk, or better yet, take up my generous offer of dropping you off. See? There's a solution to every problem!"
"I'm not taking a cab, it's dangerous, and models don't take buses Steven! And forget about driving me to the photo-shoot! Last time I let you do that, I was late for half an hour!"
"Oh well, too bad for you then." Hyde shrugged, picked up his coffee, and retreated to the bedroom.
Jackie stood there stubbornly tapping her foot and watched him leaving the kitchen.
Crossing her arms, she murmured irately to herself, "He and his El Camino II! I swear he's more protective of that stupid truck than of me! I didn't wreck it the last time. I only scratched it because my parking space wasn't that big between two big-fat SUVs!"
She was really determined to make him give in now, and when Jackie Burkhardt wanted something, she'd do whatever it took to get it!
One casual glance at her engagement ring, her eyes lit up like Christmas tree lights. She smirked evilly all the way back to the bedroom.
Jackie carefully opened the door, and there was her favorite view-Hyde standing near the unclosed closet zipping up his jeans bare-chest.
"Oh, Steven!" She sing-songed cheerfully,
"Jackie, I'm not lending you the El Camino II, period! You can whine or do whatever that you do, it's not gonna work!" He stated firmly turning sideways to get his shirt from the closet, still not looking at her.
She ignored his comment and crept quietly up to him, circled her arms around his torso smiling sweetly at him.
"You know, you're one sexy pudding pop," she said in a tone that instantly caused Hyde to raise an eyebrow.
His curious eyes gazed intensely at her lusty ones as she leaning in slowly. Their faces became so close that they could feel each other's warm breath on their lips.
Without any warning, Jackie bent her head down to capture his nipples with her warm mouth. Hyde's whole body stiffened and felt a cold sweat washed all over him at this sudden contact.
He subconsciously shut his fluttery eyes. Her soft, wet tongue swirled around his already hardened nipples then nibbled them playfully and her hot breath was breezing against his tightened chest.
Hyde tried to regain his consciousness to speak but lost his train of thoughts. She half licked and half sucked her way up to his ears purposely avoiding his anticipating mouth.
"Do you still remember what we did the day you proposed?" She whispered seducingly into his ear, making him widened his closed eyes, and sending shudders down to his body.
As he thought back to that day, Hyde gulped and cursed himself in his head for changing into his jeans way too soon! Even though it was a couple years ago, he could still remember it as if it were yesterday. He didn't think he would ever forget-well, not the proposal but what they did afterwards.
"Why?" He finally choked it out, tightening his grip on his shirt's hanger.
"Well," Jackie continued casually sliding her fingers gently up and down his back, "I was thinking, if you let me drive the truck to the photo-shoot today since you have a day-off, I'd put on a rerun of that little after-proposal special for you tonight. What do you think? You think it's a good idea?" She winked suggestively at him.
If Hyde hadn't believed the saying, "Women can use sex to get what they want. Guys can't as sex is what they want," before, he did now.
"Jackie Burkhardt! That's a dirty, dirty bribe," he said on a shaky breath, clenching his teeth.
He was trying very hard to control himself...El Camino II, Red in a bikini...bikini...Jackie in...NO! Hyde shook his head slightly to get the images out of his head and tried to stay Zen.
"Who says I'm bribing?" Jackie asked innocently, "I'm merely making a deal with you. A great deal I might add. Plus, even if I were bribing, bribes shouldn't be clean either."
"Come on, Steven, I know you want to." She kept planting small tender kisses on his lips teasingly while putting on a sad-puppy pleading face.
"Ok, fine! But-"
Jackie squealed happily interrupting him. She hurriedly gave him a peak on the cheek, snatched his truck keys and her purse from the nightstand, and dashed down to the garage.
Hyde rapidly put on his shirt and ran after her. When he was at the entrance, which was wide-opened, between the garage and the house, he yelled,
"If you break-"
And I can't even remember now
What she backed my truck into
His eyes widened in shock. For a second, there was a moment of dead silence until Jackie, holding on to her purse, jumped out of the truck like it was on fire and whispered sheepishly, "Ooops..."
"Oops? Oops! You- I-" Hyde was dumbfounded, looking back and forth from his wrecked truck to Jackie. He knew he'd somehow regret lending her the truck. He was so ready to snap at her!
But she covered her mouth and her face got red
And she just looked so darn cute
"I'm sorry," she whispered apologetically.
Hyde kept staring at her with a straight solemn face.
That I couldn't even act like I was mad
"Just, go call Fez and ask him for a ride," he tried to sound as sternly as possible, pointing at the door.
Jackie, who knew from the tone of his voice that he wasn't very mad at her, ran up to hug him, buried her head in the nape of his neck.
"I'm so sorry Steven. I didn't mean to step on the wrong brake and backed up your truck into the shelves," she murmured
He hugged her back loosely and patted her back. "Yeah, I know. Now go!" grumbled Hyde.
He watched her sprinted off, rubbed his eyes, and walked over to his wrecked truck. "Oh, my poor baby, she has you brutally destroyed, hasn't she?" His voice was full of sadness.
Yeah I live for little moments like that
Yep, Jackie was gonna be the death of him someday all right. He sighed.
Well that's just like last year on my birthday
The moment Hyde stepped into the house, he could see clouds of smokes and smelled something burning coming from the kitchen.
"Jackie?" Hyde yelled while coughing.
"Jackie?" he tried it again but got no answers. He started to panic a little.
He quickly pushed the kitchen swing door open, and what he saw made him very relieved yet made him want to laugh at the same time-a sweaty, covered with flours Jackie was trying to fan at something on a baking pan that clearly got so burned that it was as black as coals over on the counter. A used fire extinguisher was right next to the oven.
She lost all track of time and burnt the cake
And every smoke detector in the house was goin' off
"Jackie?" he asked doing his very best to suppress his laughter.
"Steven! You're home? I thought you weren't supposed to be home for another hour?" Jackie snapped her head up in surprise.
"Well, I'd be coming home to a heap of ashes If I were any late! Are you coo...umm...making something?"
"Oh, I was making you this birthday cake, but I forgot about it when I was reading the Cosmo." Jackie said sadly.
Hyde looked at the so-called cake again and burst out laughing this time.
Jackie glared at him and swatted his chest.
"This isn't funny, Steven! I worked all day on this and now my hard work is all in vain," Jackie said seriously and then marched out of the kitchen.
And she was just about to cry
"Oh Doll, come on, I'm sorry," apologized Hyde in between laughs, went after her.
When he saw her tucked up her knees under her chin and her arms went around her legs on the living room sofa with eyes welled up, his heart softened. He went to sit down and pulled her up onto his lap to hold her.
Until I took her in my arms
And I tried not to let her see me laugh
Leaned down to kiss her forehead, he whispered, "Hey, I'm sorry." Jackie just nodded and snuggled deeper into his embrace.
"I just wanted to make your birthday special you know. I guess it's all ruined now," she sniffed.
"No, it's not," he said softly, "you're still here."
Yeah I live for little moments like that
Then he lingered his lips on her forehead for awhile.
Hyde stopped his thoughts for a minute to take another slip of beer. He smiled inwardly recalling Jackie's first and last time making a birthday cake. He still couldn't understand how she managed to burn the cake that black!
I know she's not perfect but she tries so hard for me
And I thank god that she isn't 'cause how boring would that be
It was like these little, insignificant memories that added some meaning to his rough life. He knew that she wasn't the most perfect person on Earth. She was girly, dependent, spoiled, materialistic, believed in the things that sounded absolutely ridiculous to him, and set way too high goals for the lives that weren't even hers-for instance, his life!
It's the little imperfections it's the sudden change in plans
When she misreads the directions and we're lost but holdin' hands
Nevertheless, he found himself looking pass her imperfections more and more although they did annoy the hell out of him sometimes.
Plus, the differences that he and her had, created a lot of chances for a good burn! What a boring life would it be without burning each other for laughs?
Yeah I live for little moments like that
Heck, even some of his best memories were with her!
When "THE END" finally appeared on the TV screen, Hyde turned his head to the side to find a fast asleep Jackie.
When she's layin' on my shoulder on the sofa in the dark
And about the time she falls asleep so does my right arm
He would much prefer for them sleeping in their cozy bedroom upstairs, but he thought it felt nice having her curled up against him under a huge warm blanket on the sofa.
And I want so bad to move it 'cause it's tinglin' and it's numb
But she looks so much like and angel that I don't wanna wake her up
He shut the TV off, threw a cushion on the sofa arm, and gently brought down her and the blanket with him as he lay down on the sofa. He then adjusted their sleeping position the best he could.
Finally, he rearranged both of them to sleep on their sides, her back against his chest.
Yeah I live for little moments
His arms went around her waist protectively. Placing his chin on the top of her head and caressing her exposed stomach, he drifted slowly to sleep by the comforting smell of Jackie.
'Well, I do like it when she's sleeping. That's for sure,' Hyde chuckled quietly to himself.
When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it
He always treasured those quiet moments when he got to watch her sleep because it wasn't a normal for Jackie to be quiet! He also loved it best when she wasn't trying to be cute but just being herself to make him feel like everything around him was falling into places at last.
Yeah I live for little moments like that
And that kind of feeling caused his guarded stone-hard heart to melt a tiny bit everytime.
Settling down another of his emptied beer bottle, he finally realized the reason that made his life bearable and, God help him, enjoyable with Jackie!
As far as Hyde was concerned though, neither Eric nor the rest of the gang including Jackie needed to know about it. So he opened his mouth ready to give Eric a burn.
However, Eric, who suddenly had a horrifying expression on his face, leaped out of his seat knocking his chair down and shouted incredulously,
"Oh my God, how could you guys not remind me yesterday was Donna's birthday!"
THE END