Just a heads up that Erandur's name is there for a reason and he will be in the next instalment. Don't run away just yet!
…
My first thought is 'Wow, what a shit hole'
It literally smells like faeces here. As in, someone has walked around town and just excreted all over the place.
Also, the floor's a bit slippery. I want to think it's water but I've been in enough places like this to know it probably isn't. I'm just not going to think about it.
Gods, is that someone getting mugged? It's broad daylight! I don't want to get mugged. I really don't want to get mugged because I have nothing to offer them but three septims, assorted crap I picked up on the road, a spoon and my underclothes.
I've had my underclothes stolen before. Not nice.
If there was any other town I could go to I'd give this place the finger and you can bet I'd be gone, but there's bears and bandits all around this place so adventuring is completely not an option.
I'm sure this place has some upsides. Like that quaint looking food stall over there. That's nice food, I bet. Shame I can't afford it.
"You lookin' for trouble?"
Oh, more tax collectors. Maybe I should just take my chances with the bears.
"Erm, no. I've already paid the 'visitors tax' so you can go hassle the guard outside if that's meant to be your job"
Is he laughing at me? In my experience if you can't tell whether a man's laughing or not you should stay well out of their way.
"You fell for that? You're not going to last five seconds here, elf."
I'm not dumb, I'm just very very scraggly and tired didn't fancy tangling with the city guard, you judgemental bastard. And he's a judgemental bastard that looks like he swapped brain matter for more muscles. Don't really fancy tangling with him, either.
"Oh, no. They fooled me. Crafty."
"The name's Maul; if you want dirt on anything I'm your man. But it'll cost you."
Wait, what?
"I don't want dirt on anything. Is that you greet people? Asking them if they want dirt?"
"I only ask the ones who look like they'll be needing the help." He's standing up with eyes that say 'I could probably rip you in half with my bare hands'. Yep, alright. I'm sorry.
"Oh. Well." What in Azura's name am I meant to say now? "Goodbye."
Yeah, you tell him Virani.
…
"I am leaving this den of iniquity!" This man's flapping his arms about and if he carries on like that he's probably going to take off.
"Maramal, I'm not kicking you out, we just need you to-" Wow, that argonian looks like he's seen better days.
"I will hear no more of it! You will answer for your sins in the eyes of Mara."
And with that the man with the flapping arms leaves in a storm of self-righteousness. It usually takes me more than ten minutes to find the town nut. Luckily the commotion with what I'm guessing was a priest is giving me a good chance to slip in unnoticed and if I'm lucky fall asleep on the table without being kicked out.
Or maybe make some observations before I fall asleep.
I'm not really a people person but I can tell there's a lot of fear, crime, or both. Fear and crime usually go together, actually. Like bread and cheese. But that's not the point. The kind of jittery fear here means there are thieves around, and everyone's using stupid looking bags instead of pockets. So that means pickpockets. Well, they're not going to find anything worth pickpocketing over in my corner.
I've read about the Thieves' Guild in Riften but never really paid much mind to them. These guys are like small, aquatic fish next to the… um, big aquatic fish that they are in Cyrodiil. That was a terrible comparison.
Back to the inn. In this stuffy little room, there's one thief, a mercenary, the two argonian barkeeps, two people from a higher up family- nobles, maybe? - and a shop owner.
I'm not sure how I work these things out, but after almost a hundred years of watching from the sidelines (It sounds creepier than it actually is) it's just easier to work out who's who. Except that man with the red hair in the corner. I don't who he is, but he's shifty.
Shifty and sizing me up. A conman, then?
Bah, like it matters. There's nothing he can con me out of.
"Good evening, lass." Smooth. Yep, he's a conman. He's either really determined or not very good at judging his victims because as previously mentioned there is nothing he can take from me.
Getting a closer look I can those fancy clothes he's wearing aren't his natural state. There's dirt under his fingernails and his beard's a little untrimmed. Sloppy, but has a certain rugged charm to it. Shame I'm not into humans.
"How about I buy you a drink and we talk?" This guy's clearly up to something and being undead I don't require drink to live; but if it stops that guy I've just noticed in the corner looking at me like I'd be good prey in a back alley, I'll take his company.
"Sure, ale then." Apparently accepting a drink from him is some kind of social taboo because he's looking at me like I'm an idiot. Let's keep you thinking that, buddy.
"So, what brings you to Riften?"
Eugh, this swill passes for ale? I don't suppose there's a way you can discreetly spit out drink so I'll try to drink the whole mouthful in one go.
"Uh, stuff." Oh Gods, did I just taste dirt? Please let it be dirt, please let it be-
"Hm, what kind of 'stuff'? Not many people go to Riften on a whim" He crosses his hands over his mouth and carries on looking at me. The cliché position of any bad villain. You could make it less obvious you're planning something, you know.
"The 'stuff' kind of 'stuff'. I'm just passing through."
His eyes are a pretty intense shade of green. Like vomit. And he's trying to use them on me. As previously mentioned humans are not my thing, especially if they're trying to rob me.
Wait, nevermind.
He's been distracted by someone new who's just entered the inn. Black leather armour, lots of pockets. Thieves' guild obviously. These guys really aren't the masters of subterfuge.
"Ah, well. I've just seen my friend over there I'm afraid, so I have to take my leave. Sorry we couldn't talk for longer" He stands up with the cool confidence only someone faking it could muster.
Nervous, are we? So the guy with the black leather armour must be his boss. Or his Dad. I don't care. "Perhaps we'll see each other again, lass."
Not if I can help it.
The markets are opening soon. I think I'll pass nodding off on the table and sell that assorted crap I mentioned earlier.
…
"I can give you fifty septims for all this."
"Fifty? You're kidding. I picked that authentic spell tome from the cold dead hands of a master necromancer!"
Oh, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the necromancer. This guy's pulling a face that suggests he doesn't seem like the type that appreciates them.
"… Coin is tight these days. Sorry."
Oh, bugger it all.
"Fine. Just please take it off me."
Is he smirking at me? He's bloody smirking at me! "Good doing business with you."
Yeah, you too you stingy n'wah.
Wandering around a bit I can see the anxiety here, just on a larger scale than the inn. In cesspools like this one you get to see the finer aspects of human nature such as greed, selfishness and of course- the primitive instinct to survive.
Don't mean to get too deep, but people are naturally evil, and only fight against their nature when they're in a comfortable position to.
I read that in a book somewhere.
Wow, that woman in the brown finery and the evil black hair (I'm not sure how hair is evil, but on her it just is) looks like a witch straight out of a storybook. And she's just kicked a beggar. I bet she sacrifices children and other small animals in her free time, too.
And never you guess, it's the bad conman I met earlier!
"Authentic Falmer elixir, only twenty septims!"
With him swirling it around in the bottle it looks more like sewer water, but I've learnt not to argue with people over trivial things these days. And especially not in towns like Riften. You'll get stabbed.
Doesn't hurt to investigate, though.
"Falmer blood elixir, eh?"
"Ah, if it isn't the young lady I met in the tavern earlier. Yes, with this well-guarded College of Winterhold secret you can learn libraries worth of knowledge in seconds, heal any wound and experts suggest it's the key to eternal youth!"
"Wait. Eternal youth? College of Winterhold secret?! Az-Azura's ass man, it's sewer water! Sewer water!"
I'm not sure if laughing at this guy and his alleged libraries of knowledge is worth getting stabbed over, but I've gotten myself into more dangerous situations for kicks.
He seems amused too, which is odd. "One of the smarter people round here then. What's your name anyway, lass?"
Oh, what the heck, I can't help but like this red-headed sod "Virani. It's Virani. And you sir, are comedy gold."
"I'd rather be rich, but comedy gold will do fine for now." He's put the bottle down and apparently given up on trying to convince me to buy it. He's ushering me over to one side, and he's lowered his voice slightly. Wait, am I being seduced? "I may not be able to sell you this rubbish, but I think you'd be useful for something else."
"Wow, you're straight to the point. I don't do anything involving blood rituals, serious crime or impersonating authority figures"
He's laughing. At my joke! No one ever laughs at my jokes "No blood rituals? Damn it all. But seriously, you're an adventurer, aren't you?"
"Did the blank expression and lack of coin give it away?"
"I did notice you're awfully short on septims… which is why you'll want to hear this. I guess you've worked out why I approached you earlier?"
Well, I thought he was trying to scam or murder me but I prefer this line of questioning instead "You need someone who leaves town a lot, maybe looks like they need gold. I suppose you're not a merchant, either"
"Quick as whip, aren't you? I don't think you're quite cut out for my line of work, but your experience on the road can still help me."
I need the coin, and this not-merchant doesn't seem too bad. "I'm listening."
"I work for an organisation that's short on members and needs certain items… delivering. These items will increase trade for us, and in return you'll get coin." He gave a charming little smile. That's the first time I've ever described something as charming. I made an oath to stick to my own race! "No questions asked."
"Be honest. Are these items illegal?"
He exhales a bit before he carries on "No point lying now. Yes, they're stolen. Does that change anything?"
"Huh, so you're Thieves' Guild. No, it changes nothing really. Just wondering how many different types of dead I'll be if I get caught."
"You like danger?"
"I'll get attacked by three different species of bear and a bandit brigade if I'm having a good day." And if I'm having a bad day, people will find out I'm a vampire and chase me halfway across the continent… "I don't really have much of a choice when it comes to danger"
He's flashing me that lovely smirk again. "Can't be much worse than Riften. I think you'll do just fine around here. When are you next setting out?"
There's a body behind this red-head being thrown into the sewer by the city guard. Classy. "As soon as physically possible. I have got places to be, though, so I won't return straight away"
"That's fine, lass, as long as you get that merchandise delivered." He's shifting back towards his stall when some poor sap actually looks interested in his mystery liquid. "Stick around the inn tonight and I'll hand the first package to you."
He turns again slightly, and suddenly that friendly expression is a lot more sinister "Just a word of warning: don't betray us. I want this to work for us both"
Well if he can make me crap myself with a single look I'm not sure what would happen if he was actually angry. "Wouldn't dream of it"
And there's the sunny expression again "Great! You won't get a formal place in our little club but you'll be respected. It was Virani, wasn't it?"
"Um, yeah… definitely Virani."
He's giving a firm handshake. A practiced one, even. "My name's Brynjolf. I think we're going to be good friends, Virani."
Sheogorath's flaming underwear, why do I always attract people like this?