Little By Little
Clarissa/Nikki
…
It's a great big world out there
If we don't stop and stare
Moments pass us by
A chance to say hello
A chance to say I know
A chance to say goodbye
Raise your head up
Don't you let up
Keep on keepin' on
…
Dr Nikki Alexander walked in to the Lyle just after 9am on Monday morning, normally she'd go past Clarissa to get herself some coffee but decided to stop of at Starbucks on her way to work instead to save time. She looked around as she made her way in to her office that she shared with Jack, placing her bag on the floor beside the desk and placing her cup on the desk, before looking through the files that were waiting for her.
"Goooood morning."
She looked up to see Jack walking in, a huge smile on his face before he sat on the edge of her desk.
"Morning Jack."
"So…how are you this fine morning?"
Nikki could sense a certain tone in his voice as she looked up at him, taking note of the way he was smiling at her.
"What is wrong with you this morning, you're very chirpy for a Monday?"
"And why not, the sun is shining, we have no immediate case which means nobody's dropped dead or been murdered, which is always a good things and two of my closest friends got together at the weekend."
Jack laughed as Nikki's head shot up at his words, getting to her feet and looking around frantically.
"How do you know about…that?"
"Oh come on Nikki, Clarissa told me on Sunday when she phoned."
"She told you, well she had no right. Who the hell does she think she is."
"Nikki, she…."
"No, I don't want my private life known by every person working in this building, for god sake she…I can't believe she…"
Nikki stormed off, leaving Jack a little speechless.
"Oops, good going Jack." He muttered to himself as he sat down at his desk.
…
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Ooh ooh
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Ooh ooh
…
Clarissa Mullery was going over some samples she was working on when she heard the door to her lab swing open, looking over to see Nikki storming in, a look of anger on her face.
"Nikki?"
"How could you Clarissa?"
"Sorry, I'm not sure I…"
"How could you tell Jack about what happened between us, I thought I could trust you."
"You can trust me I…"
"Clearly not, you know I'm a private person. Did you really think gossiping with Jack was the best approach?"
"I wasn't gossiping Nikki, I was just…"
"What, what was it you were doing Clarissa. I thought you were different, you're no better than men, bragging about your conquest the minute my back is turned, well that's fine…at least I know where I stand. To say I'm disappointed is something of an understatement."
Before Clarissa could say anything, Nikki stormed back out the lab. The other women let out a shaky breath before picking up her mobile and dialing the familiar number.
"Jack…get over…NOW."
…
Baby take a breath
Take one more baby step
You don't have to run
Take that leap of faith
You got what it takes
We've only just begun
And we win one by one
Raise your head up
Don't you let up
Keep on keepin' on
…
Jack slowly opened the door to the lab, Clarissa sitting in her wheelchair, glaring at him.
"You okay?" He asked, already knowing the answer.
"You're a bloody idiot, what did you go and say something to her for?"
"Look I'm sorry, I was only messing around with her."
"Well she didn't find it funny Jack, I told you what happened between us in confidence, you're my friend, I thought I could trust you."
"You can trust me."
"Can I?"
Jack came over to her, kneeling down in front of her, taking hold of her hands.
"Look, I'm really sorry for being an idiot. I shouldn't have said anything, I know that."
"Then why did you?"
"Oh because I was happy for you, for both of you. You're single now, Nikki's relationships never exactly last. I thought this time, maybe there was a chance of this one working because, well….you already know so much about each other."
"She's furious Jack."
"Oh she'll calm down eventually."
"Maybe this wasn't what I thought it was, perhaps I misread things, the dinners, the nights in, I…"
"You didn't imagine it, but look, this is new for you, for both of you, maybe you both need time to get used too the idea, that's all."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Fancy a choccy biscuit?"
Clarissa smiled when Jack winked at her when he asked the question.
"Oh, go on then. It might cheer me up."
"That's my girl."
…
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Ooh ooh
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Ooh ooh
…
Thomas was in his office, going over budgets when he heard the soft knock on his door frame, looking up to see Nikki lingering in the doorway.
"Nikki?"
"Hi, are you busy?"
"Just doing budgets, you okay?" He asked, noticing the look on her face.
"Not really, can we talk?"
"Sure, come on in."
Nikki stepped inside, closing the door behind her before she took a seat on the couch, Thomas coming over to join her.
"What's troubling you?"
"Okay, I'm just going to say this. The last month or so, I've been spending some time with someone whom I consider a very good friend but also more."
"More?"
"We've been to dinner a handful of times, we've spent evenings at one another's homes, just being in one another's company and it's been…nice."
"Okay, but you're seeing them in a different light now?"
"I never really considered it before but when we were out for drinks on Saturday evening, they kissed me."
"Right, and you didn't kiss them back?"
"No, I did."
"Nikki, what is that you're not telling me here?"
Nikki took a deep breath before she looked up at Thomas.
"The person I've seeing, it's Clarissa?"
"Oh, oh I…Clarissa?"
"When I broke up wit Sam, she took me out to cheer me up, it turned in to most weekends to get me out of the house and then, I don't know, we kind of fell in to a pattern and we begun to spend more time together, and I discovered just how brilliant she actually was, it's silly."
"No, no it's not silly. When you work with someone, you never really get to know them well, some people prefer to keep work and their private life separate, others like to get to know the people they're spending eight to twelve hours a day with. I suppose some of us have slipped behind in that department."
"She told Jack about what happened between us at the weekend and I got a little angry about."
"Because you didn't want anyone to know?"
"I don't know, no, I just…this is new for me."
"Well, you have to remember that it's new for Clarissa too, she was married, to a man and perhaps she was just as confused as you were and needed someone to talk too. She and Jack have always been very close and I don't suppose she bargained on him telling you what she'd told him, which I'm guessing is what he did, if I know Jack?"
"He did, he caught me off guard and I just didn't know hoe to respond."
"Nikki, be honest with me. Do you have feelings for Clarissa, yes or no?"
"I do."
"Then that's all you should be thinking about, forget about Jack, forget about what others might say about this. As long as you and Clarissa are happy then, surely that's all that matters at the end of the day."
"You're right, Thomas thank you."
"Go and see her, I don't want a gloomy office for the rest of the day."
…
One more minute
Just stay in it, and breath
Step by step
Left right left
Believe
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Ooh ooh
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Ooh ooh
…
Nikki was making her way down towards the lab when she saw Jack walking towards her.
"Ahhh Nikki."
"Not now Jack."
"No please, wait."
Jack grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks, as she turned to him.
"Look, I'm sorry. I was completely out of order earlier, I shouldn't have told you what Clarissa had said to me."
"No you shouldn't have."
"If it helps, she was pissed at me too."
"Well, it helps a little. If you'll excuse me Jack I…"
"Oh Clarissa's not in the lab?"
"What, well where is she?"
"She went to get a coffee, something about needing some air before she hit me."
"Right, well I might go and look for her, thanks Jack."
"Nikki?"
"What?"
"If you're just going to find her to yell some more then…"
"I'm not going to yell Jack, I'm going to tell her something I probably should have told her this morning, don't worry, I won't hurt her, I promise."
Jack watched as Nikki walked away down the corridor before he returned to his own office.
Nikki was just inches from the main doors when she spotted Clarissa coming through the doors, relief washing over her. Clarissa looked up, watching as Nikki approached her.
"Hi, I've been looking for you?"
"I just nipped out for a few minutes."
"Yes, Jack said. Clarissa can we talk."
Clarissa nodded as the pair made their way back up towards the lab, when inside, Nikki took Clarissa's coffee from her, placing it on her desk, before she knelt down in front of Clarissa.
"Clarissa I'm so sorry for my behaviour earlier, I had no right to yell at you the way that I did."
"No, Nikki. It was my fault, I shouldn't have said anything to Jack."
"Of course you should have, he's your friend and you confided in him, it's not your fault he can't keep his mouth shut."
Nikki smiled, Clarissa taking the cue to smile too.
"I've been an idiot, I shouldn't have ignored what happened on Saturday night, it was much of a surprise to you as it was to me, I suppose neither of us knew how to react, but I do now."
Clarissa looked at her oddly, shaking her head.
"I don't understand Nikki?"
"I'm taking a leap of faith, I need to stop being to afraid of things, and that starts here and now…with you."
Nikki reached up, covering Clarissa's lips with her own.
"I know this is new for us but to be honest, I'd quite like to see where it could go, if it's what you want too that is?" Nikki asked.
"Nikki are you absolutely sure about this?"
"I can honestly say, this is the most certain I've been of anything in a very long time."
"Then okay."
"Really?"
Clarissa smiled down at her, taking Nikki's hand in her own.
"Really."
…
One more minute
Just stay in it, and breath
Step by step
Breath by breath
Believe
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Ooh ooh
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Little by little by little
Ooh ooh
-Fin