So, this is my new story. It will be a series of longish oneshots focusing on a universe where the Hetalia characters are, essentially, a new wave of Vocaloids, and an anonymous girl and boy buy the Allies and the Axis. However, these are the Special Editions, which include some different options...

Name: Hetaloid

Rating: T

Pairings: UKUS, GerIta, RoChu, some other pairings restricted to songs.

Pronounciations will be at the bottom.


December 27th, 2011.

A girl with blonde hair she wore in bunches was walking through crowds in a shopping mall. Her hoodie was open, revealing a red t-shirt and an ocarina around her neck. Her jeans were black and went over her grey lace-up boots. She had some things to buy with her Christmas money. The new Vocaloid range, based on the ever-popular anime Hetalia, They were called Hetaloids.

So far, the range consisted of North Italy, also known as Italoid; Germany, who was Deutschloid; Japan, also known as Niholoid; America, whose name was Heroloid; England, who was also called Iggyloid; France, who was Francloid; China, the Aruloid; and finally Russia, the Kolloid.

The girl had screamed over the advert that they were in, and when she heard Double Lariat with all their voices… Well, she had died of happiness. In a figurative sense, of course. She was going to buy the Heroloid, the Iggyloid, the Kolloid and the Niholoid. She had a friend who was buying the Francloid, Deutschloid and the Italoid, but neither could decide on who was getting the Aruloid. The Heroloid had a rather glitchy voice in the advert, but the fact that his character from the anime was so exuberant and had so many fans, he was probably going to sell out quickly.

She looked up as she heard someone call her name in the electronics shop. Her friend was waving madly. "I found them!" he cried.

"Yes!" squealed the girl, running through the crowd like only an insane fangirl could. She screeched to a stop by the stand. It was a long one, like the kind where they stacked the DVDs on. "How much do you have?" she sang, hopping from one foot to the other in obvious excitement.

"About three hundred," he replied. "I got some out of the bank."

"I've got four hundred more. I'm spending all the rest of my savings!"

The boy spluttered. "Seriously?"

"Yep!" she counted the amount of money they had on her fingers while muttering the hundreds. "Five h'ndr'd, s'x h'ndr'd, s'v'n,eight, nine, Holy crud! Dude! We were saving for ages and doing extra jobs! It all paid off! A thousand! Each one of the Special Editions is £125, since it's the after-Christmas sale. I'm getting an Aruloid!"

They grabbed the boxes quickly, and the girl managed to nab the last Iggyloid. She felt rather proud of herself, as that was no small feat. They smiled as they went to the checkout area. The woman standing there had her mouth open and eyes wide in shock.

"Hi, is it okay if we buy these?" the girl smiled.

The woman nodded.

They left the shop with £1000 les and 8 more Hetaloids than when they started out.

"What's the first thing you're going to do with your Hetaloids?" asked the boy.

The girl grinned. "FrUKUS, Imitation Black."

"Uh… You didn't get France. I did."

"I'll swap you… Aruloid or Niholoid?"

"Niholoid, if it's okay. I know you were looking forwards to abusing him and making him sing Pantsu Nugeru Mon, but you have a France to abuse! And you can come over and use the Axis at any time," the boy replied.

"Yeah, it makes sense. You have the Axis and I have the Allies." Seeing him about to make a comment, she said, "And don't even THINK about making a comment on historical leaders of the Second World War. Hat would be racist."

"I was actually about to say that you have two more than me."

"Do I care? I had more money, anyway."

"Shut up! Just because you managed to get a job in an art shop, a library, a bookshop, and a nursery…"

"You did practically nothing."

"Yes I did!"

The girl didn't listen. "I did what I did for the fabulous flames of l'amour!"

"I thought you said you weren't French."

"Oh honhon hon, mon ami, but zat ees where you are wrong!"

"Damn! The French are coming! The French are coming!"

They laughed as they walked to their respective homes. When they split paths, they continued their conversation on the phone. It was rather one-sided, as her friend was trying to hold a phone and unwrap his epic special edition Hetaloids and hold the phone at the same time. Eventually he just gave up and hung up on the girl, who didn't notice and kept talking at a mile a minute. When she got home, she opened the door, said bye to her 'friend', and threw the phone on the sofa. She then ran upstairs to install her new epicness on her computer. First was the Iggyloid, then Heroloid, then Kolloid, then Aruloid, and finally Francloid.

"Hello, awesomeness," she smiled as she finally opened the program.

- - - You have opened HETALOID. Would you like LIVE MODE or PROGRAM MODE? - - -

She beamed, guessing what Live Mode was, and clicked it without hesitation.

- - - You have selected LIVE MODE. Are you sure you want to select this option? - - -

YesyesyesYES!

- - - Please step away from the computer screen and leave the area unobstructed. - - -

She did just that, while bouncing on her toes excitedly. There was a flash of light, and the girl found herself with five men in her room.

"Hello, Master," they all said together.

The girl kept her composure. They were her Hetaloids. They were hers. She had to make a good impression; otherwise they would go all yandere and start killing each other and her family!

"Hello. What are your preferred names?"

All of them began talking at once in slightly robotic voices before she called for silence. "Shush! Take it in turns. First, Heroloid."

"Favouritism," muttered the Iggyloid. His voice held a slight robotic tinge, but it wasn't too distracting from his normal voice.

The girl shook her head. "No, Heroloid is simply furthest to the left."

"I like to be called the Hero most, but America, Alfred or Heroloid is okay, Master!" The Heroloid had a rather glitchy voice, but the girl was sure that with a bit of work, he would sound normal.

"Iggyloid."

"I prefer England or Iggyloid, Master, but if you must you can call me Arthur. But God, please don't call me Iggy."

"Francloid."

""France, Francis, or my program name, Master. Though of course, I would love to be called your amour-"

"I'm not interested in love. Kolloid."

"I guess it's pretty obvious. My country name, program name, or human name. I can see from the excessive amount of manga on your bookshelf that you know by now." The Kolloid's voice was by far the smoothest of them all. She knew that his voice would be the easiest to work with.

"You're right, but it's only polite," smiled the girl; their master. " Aruloid."

"I'd like to be called Yao most, but you can call me China or Aruloid, aru."

The girl nodded. "Okay. I will find guest rooms for you all. You must not try and kill or seriously injure anyone, or I will be forced to uninstall you. Also, you must stay in your bedrooms at night unless I allow you to come out. You will be free to do as you please in the day, unless I ask for you. When I'm at school, you must be orderly. There are security cameras installed in this house. Also, it's pretty big, so there's probably something for all of you."

"May I please ask a question, Master?" asked the Iggyloid.

"Yes, what is it?" she replied.

"Forgive me for asking, but why do you dress normally when you're obviously very rich, Master? That and you went out to buy us."

She smiled. "This was my grandparent's house. It was passed onto my parents when they died. We were going to sell it because we couldn't pay the bills, but then my dad got this huge job in an international company. He doesn't get why I laugh about part of his company being stationed in Florida."

Everyone looked at the Heroloid and began laughing. He slumped in a corner and pretended to cry. The girl continued. "Come on. You can choose your new rooms. Please keep them clean and tidy, as they are… Were the guest rooms, and if we get any guests, you'll all have to share rooms."

She stood up and led them out of the room. That made their way down a luxurious hallway with thick carpets. The Hetaloids stood stiff and walked as if on a military march. The girl ran their appearances through her head. The Heroloid wore a costume consisting of skinny blue jeans with short white boots with a part that was folded down that was blue with a white star on the outside. He wore a white short-sleeved dress shirt with a pocket decorated like his boots, and a white-and-red striped tie and belt. He had golden-blonde hair that was neatly messy, except for one strand that stood up and defied gravity. He also carried a WW2-era bomber jacket, but didn't wear it as he had blue, star-spangled detached sleeves.

The Iggyloid, however, wore a black dress shirt with the right sleeve long and a sleeve like the Heroloid's on the other arm, but with the Union Jack instead. He wore long, tattered, black jeans and a white belt. His hair was messy and he had the biggest eyebrows ever. The girl often found herself looking at his massive eyebrows instead of his emerald-green eyes. He wore big black lace-up boots that came to about his knees and clung to his legs like stockings. He also wore a silver crown with the Union Jack in the velvet inside.

The Kolloid wore a long white overcoat that was done up by pins depicting the Russian flag. Underneath, he wore skin-tight black trousers and big boots decorated like his pins. However, his most notable feature was his long white scarf, which had tiny stitches in that were faded blues and reds. His violet eyes were deep and hid a thousand thoughts, and he had silver hair despite his youth.

The Aruloid could easily be mistaken for a girl, as he had long black hair that was tied into a ponytail with a red band and a very pretty face. His outfit was red and gold, with stars in the top left corner. It was designed like typical Chinese male outfits, though his unintentionally made him look even more feminine than he did already. He wore gold sandals and seemed to have stars tattooed on his legs, but on closer inspection they were actual stars, shining gently as he walked.

The Francloid was blonde and had a stubbly chin. He wore a white top that was cropped just above his belly button with a red detached sleeve and a blue detached sleeve. His trousers were tighter than any of the other Hetaloid's and were coloured white. He had thigh-high boots that were coloured like the French flag and he seemed to be wearing eyeshadow in the same tricolour. His appearance was slightly creepy, to be honest. She hoped that they had other clothes. She would not be able to write music with him around, if he was as bad as his character. However, from what the girl had seen of them so far, they were extremely toned down versions of themselves.

"Okay, we're here," she said. There were seven rooms adjacent to each other. "They're all pretty much the same, but I would prefer it if you didn't space yourselves out. Take rooms next to each other, please."

The Heroloid chose the room with the shortest distance from his master's. The Iggyloid went next to him, then the Francloid, after that, the Aruloid and finally the Kolloid. The girl nodded, certain that they were okay.

"You have two hours to settle in. I'd like to hear you sing as soon as possible. Come to my room at three thirty."

"Yes, Master."

She went downstairs. If they were well-behaved like this all the time, then her parents were bound to allow them!

- - - HETALOID - LIVE MODE - - -

"Hey!" the girl said excitedly. "Did you put your Hetaloids in Live Mode?"

Her friend groaned. "You did, didn't you?"

"Yes, they're surprisingly well-behaved."

He disagreed. "No. You should really check on them. They're probably castrating each other as we speak."

She kept on talking as she ran upstairs. There was no noise, except for the sounds of drawers and doors opening and closing.

"Guys, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Master!"

"Yes."

"Oui, maitriser."

"Yes, Master, aru!"

"Da."

The girl grinned. "See! Why were you warning me?"

"How do you have them all in one room without your supervision and they don't argue?"

"…I don't have them in one room. Why, what's wrong with yours?"

He sighed. "Nothing. The Italoid keeps making pasta, the Deutschloid keeps cleaning, which is actually very useful, and the Niholoid is just so awesome! They and my family just hit it off!"

"Well, that's good." The girl checked the clock on her phone. "One hour left."

"Until what?" her friend asked.

"I'm getting them all to sing."

- - - HETALOID - LIVE MODE - - -

One hour later, they were all assembled in the girl's room. It appeared cleaner than before, and she had the program running.

She sat in a spinny chair, nervously swinging her legs forwards and backwards. "Uh… I was pretty sure I'd be okay with having Hetaloids, but this is strange because I wasn't expecting… Y'know… People…" She looked up. "But hey, I managed to find something you can all sing. I'm not sure on your Japanese yet, so I just found something."

"Okay," said the Iggyloid, taking a sheet of paper from the girl. "Can you teach us how to sing it?"

The girl looked away. "Okay. How, England?"

"You need to sing it first," he explained. "You, er, can sing, right, Master?"

She blushed. "To an extent."

"Please teach us," the Heroloid said excitedly. Everyone stared at the girl expectantly.

"Er, well…"

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city,
To see a marching band.
He said, "Son when you grow up,
Would you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"
He said, "Will you defeat them,
Your demons, and all the non believers,
The plans that they have made?
Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the Black Parade."

She sang the song, using the ocarina to play the musical breaks. The Hetaloids listened carefully. They then glanced at the paper to see their parts.

"Okay, please start," she said.

The Iggyloid began. "When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city,
To see a marching band."

"He said, 'Son when you grow up,
Would you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?'"
continued the Kolloid.

"He said, 'Will you defeat them,
Your demons, and all the non believers,
The plans that they have made?'"
The Francloid sang, with intense power behind his voice.

"' Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the Black Parade.'"
The Aruloid finished.

They repeated the first part again, and then the Heroloid started the first upbeat part.

"Sometimes I get the feeling

She's watching over me

And other times I feel like I should go!

And through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets!

And when you're gone we want you all to know…"

The Iggyloid and Heroloid began a harmonious and unlikely duet, both powering their voices to the point where they were causing the program to almost glitch.

"To carry on! We'll carry on!

And though you're dead and gone believe me,

Your memory will carry on! We'll carry on!

And in my heart I can't contain it! The anthem won't explain it!"

"A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams," the Kolloid sang darkly. "Your misery and hate will kill us all!"

"So paint it black and take it back, let's shout it loud and clear!" continued the Aruloid.

The Francloid finished. "Defiant to the end we hear the call…"

All three sang the start of the chorus, and the Heroloid completed it by drowning the others out with, "And though you're broken and defeated, your weary widow marches-"

"On and on we carry through the fears," sang the Iggyloid, with the allies minus the Heroloid acting as backup singers.

The American Hetaloid continued with, "Disappointed faces of your peers."

"Take a look at me," was the reply from the English one, and they both sang together with the other Hetaloids quietly giving their voices some extra emotion; the most you could get from a robot; in the final line of that verse. "'Cause I could not care at all!"

"Do or die

You'll never make me,

Because the world

Will never take my heart," sang the Francloid. In his solo, the girl noticed the real power behind his voice.

"Go and try

You'll never make me!

We want it all,

We wanna play this part!" was the line that the Aruloid sang as he joined in.

"I won't explain

Or say I'm sorry

I'm unashamed

I'm gonna show my scar" sang three Hetaloids now, as the Kolloid had joined.

"Give a cheer

For all the broken

Listen here

Because it's who we are!" was a final harmony between the previous three and now the Iggyloid.

The Heroloid joined in with as much raw energy as he could get from his glitched voice. "I'm just a man! I'm not a hero!

I'm just a boy who had to sing this song!

I'm just a man, I'm not a hero!"

All five were singing now. "I. Don't. Care!"

The final chorus was amazing and powerful, and the girl started crying at the awesomeness of the past few hours. And as the song ended, she was smiling. "Thank you. Thank you so, so much!"

"Ahahahaha! Don't worry, Master! We're Hetaloids! We have to do this thing! It's in our programming!"

The girl looked up at the Heroloid. "But thanks anyway."

"Just doin' our job for our master!"

- - - HETALOID - LIVE MODE - - -

After editing the voices to sound even more realistic than they already did, the girl added an image she had drawn a while ago that was lurking on her computer of the Allies to the video that the song was being displayed on to the outside world. She then uploaded it carefully to Youtube, making sure she didn't screw up her computer or the video. Suddenly, Panda Hero began blaring through the room. She picked up her phone.

"Hey," she grinned to her friend.

"Hi," he replied. "You uploaded anything yet?"

"No, but I'm uploading Welcome to the Black Parade right now. It's gonna be awesome! Just let me play it and check… YES! So, what did you get your Hetaloids to sing?"

"Well…"

She opened a new tab and found four different versions of Astrosexy. "You, my friend, are awesome."


Deutschloid - Doitch-loid (like "Doitsu," but instead of "tsu" you have a "ch" sound)

Niholoid - Nee-hoh-loid (hoh rhyming with off)

Kolloid - Ironically, my spellcheck mistook it for "colloid," which is what it rhymes with.

Francloid - Fronc-loid. Basically, just say it in a French accent. XD