Morty glanced at his phone and realized how late it was. His parents didn't care how late he stayed out with Rick, though they acted like they did. Hell, he could have been murdered and raped in an alley in a far- off dimension and it would take them a few months to notice. Morty sighed, his fatigue taking over.
"Rick, let's just g-go home now..." Morty yawned, putting his phone in his pocket.
"No way! The night's only begun, Morty!" Rick replied, taking a swig from his flask.
"Where are we going anyway?" Morty huffed.
Rick smiled," You-you'll see." They approached a bright, neon building that stood out from the rest of the world. Rick pushed open the door, letting out a chorus of music, laughing, and yelling.
"Geez, Rick, am I e-e-even old enough to be in a place like this?" Morty stuttered, nervously twidling his thumbs.
"D-DOOOOnn't even trip, dawg," Rick reassured. Morty sighed, thinking fuck it. Female-looking aliens strutted around with short skirts and tiny shirts, some looking humanoid, others looking completely abstract. Morty wondered why they were even there.
"Hey fellas, what can I get you two?" A busty alien-humanoid-thing asked. The longer Morty stared, the more she looked like Jessica. Rick simply held up two fingers and the girl smiled and nodded.
"R-Rick, what's up with this place?" Morty squeaked.
"The waitresses here are shape-shifters, so whoever you wAAAAAAAnnna see is who they look like," Rick explained, acting as if it's the most obvious thing in the multiverse. The Jessica-like shapeshifter returned with two strange-shaped glasses full of a bubbly, orangeish liquid. She placed them both down on the table, and left with a wink. Morty stared at the drink in front of him with a confused expression.
"What- what is this?" Morty asked as Rick downed the whole drink in one swig.
"Jus-just drink it MoOOORty." Morty took a sip, and realized it was some kind of alcohol.
"WHAT THE HELL MAN?!" Morty wanted to scream, but kept it to himself. It wasn't that bad, after all. Taking another gulp, Rick began to laugh.
"You- You should see your face right now!" Rick giggled drunkenly.
"W-w-well YOU-YOU should see ho-how much...uhmmm..." Morty stuttered, unable to think of anything smart to say.
"JUUst shut up Morty," Rick grunted. Morty looked around the bar. The world became better with every passing moment. The music suddenly was the greatest thing he ever heard, and the laughing and chatting was muted by his own abstract thoughts. He couldn't think of a single bad thing about his life as he finished his drink.
"W-we need to- we should just like eat... some some fr- p-pizza," Morty stuttered, slurring a few words. Rick smiled, amused by how horribly the boy could handle alcohol.
" Okay," Rick belched," You've had enough." Rick stood, pulling out a few bills and leaving them on the small, round table.
"See you soon!" The Jessica look-alike exclaimed, waving. Morty smiled like he'd seen a million angels and waved back, until Rick grabbed his arm and yanked him out of the place. Rick climed into his spaceship, Morty following at a not-so- swift pace like he usually would. He stumbled around uselessly, almost unable to put one foot in front of the other. Eventually, he seated himself inside the ship and clicked his seatbelt on. They made their way back to Earth Dimension C-137, Morty dreamily staring out the window.
How was Rick going to explain himself this time?