Kiss Your Love Good-bye

RATING: PG-13

PART: prologue

PAIRING: I'm not telling until you finish reading this part! So,
ha! You only get the clue that Juuhachi's the main role.

WARNING: Blood, depression, voices in the head...nothing too majorly
gruesome.

DISCLAIMER: All Dragonball GT characters belong to Akira Toriyama
and the producers of Dragonball GT. I do not own any of the
characters, or anything to do with the characters. Blah, blah,
blah...You get the point.

Note: For all of you non-Japanese speaking people, Juuhachi= #18 and
Juunana= #17. Thank you to the beta readers as well. ^_^ Song name
and upcoming lyrics are from Brian McKnight's "Kiss Your Love Good-
bye".


Darkness shrouded her soaked body like a cloak in the still of the
night. Water lapped at her sides, caressing her body with invisible
hands. The murky liquid was horribly frigid against her skin and
would have been a reviving to any other. But, she'd been trapped so
long in its shallow depths, it now held her down with cold, deadly
fingers.

Numb from head to toe, Juuhachi lay, submerged. Her skin was soft
and soggy, blue and pale as death. The water had sucked away all
the glorious vitality she contained, like a thirst in the driest
desert. Her blond hair, now grayish in the silver moonlight, was
matted in straw-like nests upon her head. Makeup was long washed
away and all evidence of beauty gone. She seemed a ghost; merely a
ghost.

The glorious Juuhachi...now wretched and nearly drowned. Her body
was so sprawled and unmoving it seemed death had finally taken her.
Even if she did attempt the impossible task of stretching her bony
fingers or shifting her aching muscles in the deepness of the dark,
she knew not a motion would be made. The water had stolen all of
her beautiful energy away. Stolen... There was no doubt that she
would not survive.

"Stupid..." The woman's murmur was barely audible over the licking
water. Blood slowly trickled from the line of her brow to drip into
the wetness.

"I was so stupid."

Every breath hitched in the shallows of her swollen throat, forcing
a shuddering exhale from her cracked lips. The bulge her wind-pipe
adorned was thick within her, raw from the freezing air.

"Why..." she whispered. "Why do I have to be such an idiot?"

Only the breeze answered. She couldn't see the shifting leaves nor
the bending grass, a sight that would have been a simple bliss on
its own. No... But, she could hear the trees whispering, talking
as the air moved about them. For only a tiny trickle of moonlight
from the hole far above her was her light in all the darkness.

And still it wasn't enough.

The moonlight glimmered weakly down. It illuminated her in a dazed
glow, her body looking angelic in a crude, misshapen way.
Juuhachi's lower back rested lazily on the soggy bottom of this
strange hidden sanctuary, the rest of her body buoyant in the
shallow liquid.

A fallen angel....A fallen....

"Krillen..."

All alone in the depths of the forest. Or at least she "believed"
she was in the depths of the forest. Though no trees surrounded
her, all still far above from where she'd fallen into this dark
abode, she could remember an endless surrounding of the leafy
forms. Sounds of crunching twigs beneath her pounding feet...

There was no one to reach out and touch, no one to come to the
rescue. Only her conscience was there to whisper accusations in the
back of her fading mind.

(All your fault...your fault...all your fault) over and over and
over again, repeating itself like a never ending, bitter song.

(If you hadn't been so quick to let everything go...Everything
you've worked for....)

Her silence remained.

(Your fault...your fault...your fault...your- )

"I want to go home..." Juuhachi's words were barely a shudder on her
puffy, blue lips. Her nearly silent whine could not even echo in
the endless black around her.

(Everything you love...everything you love...love...)

"I know I don't love him anymore...anymore...," Juuhachi murmured,
shifting her pained eyes to try and penetrate the forever night.
But, the darkness was truly impenetrable. Once again, the familiar
tightness in her throat grew strong. It threatened to choke her to
her demise right then and there, building inside of her with every
soft breath she took.

The voice was quiet, yet it didn't have to speak for the remainder
of the message to be known. Whether it was her own dwelling
insanity or her conscience inside, she could hear the faint words
continuing elsewhere. They began to beat slowly with her
heart....emerging from deep within. The words ran their fevered
hands over her numb body. Questioning her...Repeating painful
truths...

She could barely stop herself before she found her own lips moving
along with every delayed thud of her cold heart.

"What about Krillen?" Her eyes squinted as fresh tears formed when
the familiar face glimmered in the back of her mind.

Something unseen bade her to continue...

"What about dear, old Krillen? What about Marron? What about me?"

A strange last splurge of strength shook from her exhausted form,
her voice growing louder and louder.

"What about Bulma, Chichi and Gohan! What about Gokou! Juunana!
Juunana...What is my brother to think of me?"

She unsuccessfully tried to blink back a few glimmering tears. They
fell anyway, streaking down from the corners of her eyes.

"Disgusted...Even I'm disgusted..."

(Love.)

Juuhachi splashed the silent waters with a weak fist in rage,
shaking her head in disdain at her own thoughts.

"I DON'T LOVE HIM! I DON'T! I DON'T! I DON'T!" Each splash
synchronized with every cry brought drops of crud and water rippling
about her. It dirtied her pitiful body even more.

Her cries were soon dead anyway. They quickly returned to a wheeze
upon her lips.

"I don't...I don't...I...I..."

Suddenly the horrible urge for everything to finally be over and
done with, for Juuhachi to close her eyes and softly fade away, was
clear. She wanted the waters to swallow her whole. She wanted them
to deliver her into death---end the agony.

She wanted to die with each spark of pain and memories that
flickered in her crazed mind.

"I don't want to love him anymore...."

A sigh escaped her.

"I just want to die..."

However, Death was not to be so kind. It did not want to give out
mercy yet, rather, let her remain for a few more moments. It still
held her down in her place as much as her guilty conscience.

(Guilt...guilt...guilt...) The voice continued, full-motion, feeding
on every emotion inside of her.

She wanted it to end so badly.

"Poor Krillen...I never should have...I'm so sorry Krillen. I'm so
sorry..."

The little "mop-top" would never hear her tired cries again as she
woed only to him. Never hear her soft laugh. Never see her beauty
ever again. She was going to leave this Earth without him at her
side.

Well...she was almost glad for that. Juuhachi wanted to wallow in
the drowns of her shame alone. Krillen was best not finding her
anyway.

But, they'd have to find her eventually...the body...

Juuhachi deliberately forced her trembling mind off of the subject.
She didn't want to die with the image of her husband's face when he
received the fatal the news. The look of utter turmoil. The
forever branded emotion of depression in his eyes.

Maybe they'd never find her.

She hoped they'd never find her.

Swollen lids began to flutter in the bitter cold of the night. With
a strange, forlorn bliss, Juuhachi felt the sensation of sleep claw
a little more deeply into her mind. There was that same beckoning
voice, motioning with dark listless hands for her to follow it down
the curved, ebony path. Death was finally saying that it was time
to let it all go. It was time...

She was ready...She wanted to let go...she wanted...to...

No...Wait...No!

Without warning, Juuhachi's body arched unnaturally in the midst of
the dirty water. Her back forcefully slammed away from the soggy
bottom with desperation like no other. Splashing back down with
force, her lips opened. Yet, no cry emerged from her swollen
throat. Only a sputtering whine was made as she feverishly tried to
push the darkness away.

She wasn't ready. It wasn't worth it!

It chose to dig its monstrous claws into her soul even deeper than
before.

Juuhachi could feel moments of her short life flashing in the backs
of her eyes; rolling and rolling over and over again like a never
ending slide-show. Pictures of her and Krillen together, pictures
of Marron taking her first steps...pictures of everything she was
throwing away with each convulsion that passed within her trembling
body.

Why had she thrown it all away like this? Why?

Her body was more than ready to fade away, to let go of the last
dazzling spark writhing within her core. It wanted to let go of all
the pain and numbness all together. It wanted to give up. But, her
mind still clung...still held onto something jagged, tiny and nearly
insignificant. A bitter wisp of misery? A last will to live?

A wish to say "goodbye"?

"K-Krill-lllen...,"she moaned, her body trembling weakly in her
fight. "I'm so...s-so sorry! I'm s-so, s-so..." Words choked in
the bulge of her throat, only allowing the faintest, weak screech
bellow out and fade away. "I d-didn't m-m-mean to...I didn't...I
didn't..."

A sudden calm overwhelmed her. The android's back moved to rest
once again on the shallow bottom of the pit, her muscles relaxed.
She couldn't even feel the sogginess of the dirt and weed debris
through her clothes anymore.

"I'm...I-I'm...s-...sor-..."

A shuddering inhale brought a last breath of air to her lips before
everything faded. Her once shining eyes, now dull and blunt, grew
glazed. Fear escaped her and calmness emersed her form. Staring
above, the twinkling stars winking just as calmly back, her eyes
closed. Yet, small insignificant words still dribbled from her
tongue. Words of apology. Words describing nothing at all, but the
oncoming darkness.

"Vegeta..." she muttered. And then, the last moment came. Slowly
wandering away from the encasing shell that had once been her body,
Juuhachi went completely limp.

That one simple name wavered in the air for moments after...a name
that had meant everything to her...

A name that told her whole story.



TBC