Okay, my first try :P I'm only gonna update this story if I get enough reviews ;) So, it's all up to you folks :P Hope ya like

Chapter 1: Secrets

For a summers eve the night was cold and chilly. The wind was blowing softly through the trees and stars were flickering brightly above Maria's head as she closed the front door and walked towards the gates.

With her thoughts on the ball that was still going on inside the house she turned around and stood still for a few moments while holding on to the handle of the gate. She smiled inwardly as she thought about the first time she'd walked those steps to the front doors. It seemed almost a lifetime ago, while in fact it couldn't have been more than 3 months or so. How she would miss the children after tonight, how she would miss their laughter. Friedrich's teasing, Gretl's giggling, Liesl's smiles. Oh, how she would miss them all. A tear escaped her eye and she sighed deeply.

"The Baroness was wrong." She closed her eyes.

"The Baroness was wrong." A few more tears escaped. Slowly she turned around again and leaned against the gate doors.

"She just couldn't have been right," Maria whispered to herself in a soft voice.

"I'm about to become a nun, I can't have feelings for anybody... I have to serve god, that's all that matters... I made a vow." It was as though the words she was saying came from a far away distance. Convincing herself of something she felt she didn't even know for sure. Oh yes, she had certain feelings for the captain, but she wasn't sure if they really were the feelings the Baroness had mentioned. She didn't even know if the captain really did feel the same. Yes, the Baroness had said he did; but still, those words didn't really convince her.

"Fräulein Maria?" yelled a voice from behind her. She startled and as she turned around she realized it was the Captain, standing in the doorway, who had called her. Light was pouring from behind him through the open door so she couldn't really see the expression on his face, but she imagined it to be one of utter surprise. He walked down the steps and came towards her. As he was coming closer Maria saw he was carrying a sheet of paper in his hand and another jolt of shock run through her body. She realized he'd already read the letter she left for him mere minutes ago on the hallway table. She was sure he just came outside to check if she'd already left.

"Fräulein?" He halted in front of her and tried to catch her eye but she was carefully avoiding his and pretended to be examining the ground in between them.

"What is this, Fräulein?" He held up the sheet of paper she had written on not even half an hour ago and looked up at it, trying as hard as she could to keep her emotions locked up inside. She then looked from the piece of paper up into his eyes, feeling her stomach twist the moment she locked hers with his.

"My goodbye note, Captain." Relief coursed through her as she realized her voice was quite steady. Surprised at this unusual answer he was quiet for a few seconds and then, just as simple as she had answered him, he stated;

"Yes I can see that, but what I would like to know is why you are leaving?"

"It says on the note why. I hope you can now excuse me, I must leave Captain." She turned to leave but as she did so he got a hold of her upper arm and turned her back to face him.

"I hope you understand that I can't just let you go running off into the night without a proper explanation as to what we've done wrong." He let go of her arm and Maria felt her tears coming back again, still determined not to let him see them. She looked down at the ground again and tried to push back the tears that were threatening to fall. He noticed the change in her, and reached out a hand to her chin. Somehow he knew that this change in her determination had to do with the fact that his words had hit home, and she would finally explain to him what this was all about, or at least he hoped she would. As his hand touched her chin he felt her shiver, and for a moment he was about to withdraw his hand, but determination and confusion took over his hesitation and he lifted her head up and forced her to look at him.

Maria felt his hand lifting her chin upwards and considered for a moment to pull her head away from his grip, but even before she could make up her mind her eyes were once again locked with his and this time she could not hold her tears back and warm droplets rolled down her cheek, softly falling on his hand that was still tenderly holding her chin up. Cursing herself inwardly for showing such weakness she turned away from him and stared into the darkness of the night.

"Maria..." He whispered, knowing fully well that this was the first time he had called her by her first name without using Fräulein.

"I know I properly don't have the authority, nor can I make decisions for you, but I beg of you; please come back inside so we can talk about whatever is bugging you. If you don't want to talk about it and you still wish to leave in the morning then you can do so, but at least say goodbye to the children. You owe them that much."

She knew that it would be utterly unfair towards the children if she left like this. If they ever found out that she, while the Captain had begged her to stay, left without saying goodbye, they would think she didn't care about them; they would think she hated them. They would once again lose a motherly figure in there lives and although she knew she could never replace their mother, she also knew she'd been a good friend and an important factor in getting their father back. The Captain was right, she couldn't do that to them, whatever feelings she had for the Captain. She just couldn't let his children hurt because of some feelings she herself could not identify. No, she had made up her mind. She would say a proper goodbye to the children. They deserved that much.