How To Handle: Your Own South Park Character

by Blue-Green-Clouds

Congratulations! You are now the owner of your very own South Park character. Please Follow this guide on how to take care of your little guy, and avoid bad scenarios, which include but are not limited to, Severe injury, Explosion, Implosion... Have Fun!

1. Kyle

How to Handle: Your Own South Park Character

I. Kyle

Congratulations! You have just received your Very Own Kyle Broflovski!

Our little Weird-looking-green-hat wearing Jew-boy Comes with:

(1) Cartman voodoo doll

(1) Picture of Stan

(1) Shirt with a 'Mr. Hankey' Logo

(1) Hair Straightener

A. Food

Gefilte Fish. Lots of it. Don't forget to give him some bagels when he gets tired of that bland sh- I mean, delicious cuisine.

B. DO NOT

These are some tips to make sure your Kyle (and you) is always alive and kicking!

.NEVER Interrupt Kyle when he's stabbing his Cartman Voodoo doll. (You will also need to replace it after it gets badly torn up. Warning: he may eventually take out anger on you or others if you fail to do so.)

.Hug him very tightly while screaming, "Kyle-Kun!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE, I LOVE YOU! MARRY ME PLEASE, PLEASE! NYA!" This is bound to get a bad reaction.

.Take away his hat and hide it, while you call over a few friends to laugh at his hair. (May result in fatality.)

.Let him stay in the same room with Cartman for more than 2 hours, with nothing to preoccupy them. (May also result in fatality(s).)

C. Notes

Make sure, when you leave the house, that if you have purchased Cartman, that Stan will be there to break up any fighting. (Also, buy Kyle and Stan together and you get HALF-OFF! For a limited time only!)

If his right arm suddenly starts to deflate, while the left one starts inflating, get him to our Company's Hospital QUICKLY. This is most likely a cause of not replacing his Cartman Doll, with all his anger building up inside... literally. If he explodes/implodes, it is on your account, and there will be no refund.

And, ta-da! You're now ready to take care of your Kyle.

Next up: Tweek!

A/N: This is a co-authored fic I wrote with my friend Nikki-Fox! (Nikki: Hi!!)

Kinda random, but meh. =P

I got the idea from a fic I saw in the Harry Potter fanfiction archive thing (And we do have permission to use the idea) and I thought it would be fun. Original idea is by Possesed-Gummy-Bear-Inferno. (Awesome name btw. xD) Review!!

Oh, and this: XD

Reminder: the company is not responsible for any injuries, mentally and physically, deaths, or any other fatal event that may happen with your South Park character. We will not accept returns or refunds.