Disclaimer: I do not own Negima or any of the characters therein. I do, however, own the story.
The Letter
She watched. There they were, the happy couple. Negi and Nodoka. Hell, even their names sounded good together. After all, Nodoka was such a pretty name…not at all like hers. She tried it out in her head a few times. Negi and Asuna…Asuna and Negi…Nope, not even close.
Sighing, she heard the bells in her hair tinkling. Her hands raised to silence them. No, don't want to disturb their moment. Don't want him to know I'm here.
Her fingers were shaking and the small piece of folded paper she had been holding slipped from her grasp. She bent down to retrieve it, but the wind caught it first. A sad half-smile tugged at the corner of her lips as something struck her as funny, but it too slipped away from her and she straightened up. A single tear trickled down her cheek and, slowly, she turned to go. One glance over her shoulder and she disappeared into the shadows of the surrounding buildings. Probably better that way. I wouldn't have had the nerve to give it to him.
It's alright, he doesn't need to know.
The young professor shoved his spectacles up a bit farther on his nose. He smiled at the violet-haired beauty walking beside him, laughing softly as she said something cute. She really is quite lovely, he thought to himself. I'm fortunate…
- Then why do you feel hollow inside?He shook his head, attempting to dispel the little voice in the back of his mind. He looked up at the quiet sound of a whisper, "Is there something wrong?"
"Hm?" he answered. "No, not at all, Nodoka. I was just getting hair out of my eyes." Negi flashed her a grin. "So, you were saying?" Unfortunately that part of the conversation never left the ground, because, at that precise moment, he was smacked in the side of the face by a wind-born object.
Nodoka gasped. "A-are you alright?" She watched nervously as the object of her affections reached up and pulled the piece of debris from his cheek. He nodded, rubbing the slightly red mark on his face, and the timid woman noticeably relaxed.
Absently stuffing the paper into his pocket, the redhead turned, once again, to his date. "Ok, enough of this, let's get out of here before a plague of locust appears." He gingerly grabbed her hand and began to jog down the sidewalk, both of them laughing and smiling as they went.
(Later that night…)
The key turned in the lock, allowing the man access to the interior. A rather happy, albeit worn out from running, Negi Springfield came stumbling in through the door. In truth, he was glad to be home. He moved toward his friend's bed, so as to whisper a 'goodnight'. Strangely enough though, the piece of furniture was devoid of any trace of her. Seeing no one about, he scratched his temple and took a look around the living space. Still no Asuna.
Funny, he thought, I was sure she would be asleep by now, or at least getting ready to. He checked his watch. No, much too late for her (or anyone else for that matter, he thought with a blush) to be out. Another ocular sweep told him that not only was his friend not there, but neither were her things. Now uneasiness was starting to set in. His good mood all but sucked out the window, Negi frantically began tossing anything and everything around in an attempt to locate a single clue as to her whereabouts. He flung open the closet, pulled out desk draws, dumped the contents from a chest, and even yanked apart a bookshelf or two.
Ten minutes later found him standing in the middle of a ransacked apartment; breathing heavily and stating to sweat. Now, instead of blind panic, the young man was feeling empty and defeated. His energy had evaporated, leaving behind only a bizarre calm in its absence. He plunked down on a nearby chair and put his head in his hands.
She had obviously packed up and taken off, that much he was certain of. But, he reasoned bitterly, it isn't like her to not even say goodbye. He had no idea where she was or how long she'd been gone. He might have just missed her, she might have left hours and hours ago, he couldn't tell. There wasn't even a note that could have clarified the situation. Now that he had settled a bit, reality had begun to seep in through the cracks. Oh my god…she's gone. Asuna's gone…
- And it just now hit you, didn't it?
"Shut up," he spat through gritted teeth. He was really starting to get irritated with that damn voice. Especially since it sounded so much like himself.
- No, not this time. I won't be silent when you knew this was coming. You were too stupid to see it, but I wasn't. Did you really think she wasn't hurting? When you just totally ignored her and gushed over Nodoka like some crazed fanboy, did you honestly believe it wouldn't have any effect? Any consequences? You were supposed to be her friend, and you just waved her away.
"I never ignored her," his own voice was rising, not just from anger, but because those words had hit home. And he knew it. "She said she was fine and yes, I did believe her."
- Tell me, why did you go out with Nodoka tonight?
"Because…well…"
- You can't answer that one, can you? Do you like her?
"Yes. Of course I do!"
- You sound a little unsure.
"I do not! I…"
- Why did you shut yourself away from Asuna then?
"I was afraid."
- Why?
Abruptly standing up, the wizard clamped his fingers in his hair and shouted, "Because I'm in love with her!" Realization punched him in the stomach. "Oh…my god." His knees buckled, causing him to sink back into the chair. "Oh my god…" he repeated quietly. Ashamed eyes found their way to the floor as he fought a loosing battle with the scalding tears that threatened to spill. He thought back to his previous giddy-ness. It had been feigned, he knew. It had been an attempt to delude himself. And it had almost worked. "What have I done?" In a moment of overwhelming emotional agony, he slammed a fist onto his thigh.
Something crunched in his pocket. Numbly, the man reached in and felt the piece of paper that had collided with his face earlier that evening. He pulled it out to examine it. "W-wha?" There, in Asuna's unmistakable handwriting, was his name.
With trembling hands, the redhead undid the creases that kept the note folded. His eyes widened to twice their normal size as he began to read.
Dear Negi,
Wow…that sounded so formal didn't it? I'm not used to writing letters, especially ones like this. I wanted to say goodbye before I left, but I just couldn't find the words to say it. There are so many things I need to tell you…but I'm afraid that if I try and tell you face to face, I'll lose my nerve. I'd only end up making a fool of myself and then you'd never know what I was trying to share.
In any case, I really am happy for you and Nodoka. I wish you two the best of luck, and make sure you let her know I said that. But, the truth is, I couldn't live with myself if I let my last chance to say this die. I love you, Negi Springfield. With all my heart I love you. You mean the world to me, and that's why I can't tell you in person; why I can't interrupt your relationship with Nodoka. You deserve that happiness, you and her both. I refuse to make it awkward for you by babbling like an idiot and tripping over my own tongue. So I'll just give you my feelings here, on paper, where I can't mess it all up.
Goodbye, Negi. And take care.
Love,
Asuna
Tears flowed freely from his eyes as he clenched the paper so tight that it crumpled. Carefully smoothing it out, he held it to his heart, making sure to hold it delicately so as not to rip it from how tightly he grasped. "A-Asuna…"
- Well? What do you plan to do?
Determination set itself like stone onto his features. "What else can I do?" he answered the voice, lifting his gaze and getting to his feet.
"I'm going after her."
An orange-haired girl sat staring out the window of the train, watching the outside world blur past. It was dark out and most likely very late. I should get some sleep, she mused. Standing up, Asuna pulled her suitcase out from under her seat. A few minutes later and she had changed from her jeans to a long, silky red nightgown. She smoothed the sides with the palms of her hands and studied her reflection in the mirror on the wall. Never actually pictured myself in this. Well, she smiled, that's a lie. But I always figured I'd be wearing it for Ne --
She shook her head, causing the bells to jangle angrily. No, don't think about it. She scrubbed at her mix-matched eyes and sat down on the bed. Though the private room in the sleeping car was small, it had been less expensive than some of the others and she had taken a liking to it the moment she had set foot inside. Flopping backwards, she sighed dreamily. "Ah, home sweet home. At least for the next two days." Her eyelids drooped and she prepared to settle down for the night. Until, that is, there was a muffled yell and a pounding on her window…
"Asuna!"
Addressed lady sat bolt upright. What she saw made her jaw drop. There, flying alongside the train on his staff, was the object of her desires. She simply gawked for a few moments, unsure of what to do. Alright, I must have been more tired than I thought I was. I fell asleep and now I'm having a really, really weird dream. She pinched herself. "Ow! Damnit." Now that it was obvious she was still awake, Asuna scrambled over and ripped open the window. She stuck her hand out and grabbed the young man's wrist, aiding him in his rather bizarre method of entry. The sheer force of the night wind made it a difficult feat. It took some effort on both their parts, but with one last tug from the bell-adorned female, the mage was pulled inside the compartment and had landed safely on the bed…with an unfortunate young woman pinned beneath him. Obviously this was all followed by a brief moment of extreme awkwardness.
"Negi!? What the hell were you thinking, are you insane?!" It was actually quite surprising that she could still find her voice through the intense blush that has spread to most of her body. "You do realize that you could have been seen, don't you?"
If Negi was even aware of how wrong the current situation was, he certainly ignored it. "I knew exactly what I was doing. I made sure to stay out of sight until I found your room."
Asuna stared at him incredulously. "You were racing a train! You might have got yourself hurt, or worse…" Just the thought of the one she loved most lying mangled and bloodied by the track was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She hastily blinked them back and willed the image to go away.
"I wasn't worried. Besides," the redhead simply smiled, "what's a few broken bones compared to a broken heart?" Slowly, his face inched towards her own, until there were only a few centimeters of space left between them.
Body rigid with shock, the woman pressed against the mattress struggled to regain control of her now out-of-control heartbeat. "N-Negi, don't you think you should get off me now?"
"Hmm," the soft look on his features replaced by one of mischief (and something else Asuna couldn't quite recognize) he leaned in even closer. "No, no I don't think I want to."
A barely audible squeak managed to escape the girl's throat as her lips were taken hostage in a gentle, passionate kiss. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, drawing him to her and submitting to the embrace. She felt his tongue touch her teeth, requesting permission, which she eagerly granted. Her fingers began to entangle themselves in the wizard's hair and she moaned quietly when he ran his tongue across her own. Bliss: pure and absolute. But all too soon, their lungs screamed for oxygen and they were each forced to pull away.
Breathing heavily, Negi buried his face in her shoulder, taking in the sent of spice-colored hair. "Asuna, I'm so sorry for what I did to you." He snuggled in deeper and lightly nuzzled her cheek. "I'd understand if you don't forgive me." He felt her chest rumble a bit as she sighed.
"Would I have kissed back if I hadn't already? I never had any hard feelings towards you, ever." She tightened her arms about him, giving him a reassuring squeeze. Goosebumps formed on her throat as the man on top of her nipped at the spot just behind her ear.
He smiled like a schoolboy. "I love you…more than anything in the world." He propped himself up on his elbows so he could see her face. "I just wish I'd told you sooner." He felt a solitary tear trickle down his cheek, only to have his angel swipe it away with her thumb. And then suddenly…
One quick motion and the lady was on top, straddling his waist. She crossed her arms and smirked down at him. "If I may ask, why didn't you just summon me? Did'ja think it was more romantic this way?"
The professor blinked stupidly, then proceeded to splutter for approximately 5 point 3 seconds. Finally, with a slightly embarrassed expression plastering itself across his features, "I was panicking! You know I don't think clearly when I'm freaking out!" He unexpectedly blushed. "And…yes…I did actually." Negi flashed a sheepish grin to his love. "Sorry."
She had to lean in close to hear the last part on account of how softly he had mumbled, but it didn't go unnoticed. An eyebrow cocked. "Don't be. It was kinda cute. You know, once I got past the whole 'worried you might get sucked under a train' part." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "By the way, how did you find me?"
"You must have pressed extra hard when you wrote down your departure information. I could still read the pen-mark indentations on the back of the letter." Now it was a smug grin.
His former student gaped at him with an unreadable look. "You…found the letter?" She received a nod as a response. "But it got snatched by the wind before I had a chance to give it to you. So how…?"
Negi chuckled. "It uhm, sort of smacked me in the face." He was thoroughly enjoying the rather horrified look the girl was wearing. And on the subject of what she was wearing, "You know, Dear, I really like your nightgown." In a single fluid movement, he had flipped them over so that he was once again pinning her beneath his body. He ran a playful hand down her leg along the outside of the scarlet fabric. "It's silky."
Asuna just smiled and pulled him in for another kiss.