Title: Always
Author: Cindy Ryan
Spoilers: Major ones for "One Shot Stop" even though this story is an alternate take on the storyline.
Summary: AU What if Matt had been too far away to pull Em to safety?
Notes: This isn't my best work, but I couldn't resist some Matt angst after tonight's episode. It was just a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone. This is a one part story.
/God, he hated hospitals./
Special Agent Matt Flannery thought bleakly as he leaned back in the hard uncomfortable chair.
/Everybody he loved died in them./
Matt shook his head trying desperately to shake the cobwebs and morbid thoughts from his mind. But it was tough.
Damn tough.
Especially when he opened his eyes and saw what was before him.
Emily's all too still form…..too small and frail in the large hospital bed. A respirator supported her breathing. Thin tubes ran into her arms giving her nourishment. A steady beep from a machine to his left was the only thing telling him she was still there.
Not being able to look at his partner, Matt looked out the small window at the dark sky. The surgery to remove Liason's bullet had taken six hours. Six hours where each minute that passed felt like someone was stabbing a knife into his soul.
'You're primary.'
Those fateful two words had ricocheted around his brain like Liason's barrage of bullets.
Matt rested his elbows on the edge of the mattress. Fatigue forced him to rest his forehead on his arms.
How could he have put her primary on a case like this? What kind of partner was he to put her in danger?
Matt winced as he recalled the sound of the gunshot. Tears formed as he remembered her scream.
Tears flowed as he remembered the blood on his hands when he finally got to her.
With a shaky hand Matt reached up for Emily's and closed his around hers. After several minutes Matt spoke his voice weak and hoarse.
"I-I'm sorry,Em. I wasn't a very good partner. My fault you're lying here."Matt paused as he squeezed her hand hoping that she could hear him. That she knew he was there."I need you…..you know that, right?"
Swallowing hard Matt raised his head so he could see her face. "This sounds corny, but I don't care….I can't picture waking up every morning and not seeing your smile. So…. you're not going to do this…..you're going to wake up."
Emily didn't stir and Matt's head fell back on his arm his other hand still tightly closed around hers. The doctors had assured him and the rest of the team that Emily would make a full recovery.
But the longer it took for her to wake up the more nervous Matt became. His trust in doctors had never been all that strong……it'd been four hours since the surgery.
Just as sleep was about to claim him Matt felt Emily squeeze his hand. It was a weak squeeze, but one none the less.
Matt jumped up and saw that Emily's eyes were open.
"Thank God."Matt whispered as he leaned down and kissed her forehead as he hit the call light to alert the nurse.
As the medical staff came in Matt stepped back. He was content to watch, knowing that his partner would be there in the morning…..just like always.
end