Summary: Naruto has been haunted by nightmares and guilt over a tragedy in his past and even though he tries to remain his bright cheery self, its causing him to push away everyone in his life, especially a certain Uchiha who seems to want nothing else on earth but him. AU (SasuNaruSasu) Yaoi

Rated: M

Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Warning: Yaoi, Gay, and Male x Male Situations of Romance/Possibly Descriptive Sex Scenes/Alcoholism/Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts.

Pairing: SasuNaruSasu (Naruto x Sasuke)

Alright, my first time posting something. No idea. Not my first time writing, but this is my first shot at a fanfic of this lovely pair.

Please enjoy! xD

Chapter 1: The Usual Pains

x-X-x

Cold, so very cold and dark. Almost like a blanket of the universe, but with no stars is wrapped around him, suffocating and painful. The now 24 year old Naruto Uzumaki was having the dream again. Like always, it engulfed him, like he had just lost everything. Just emptiness. He was twisting and turning in his bed, gasping for air, sweating and breathing heavily.

No light, no light, no way out. He can't even think of how scared and exhausted he was. All he can focus on is the cold, and dormant panic… and over powering guilt.

Suddenly he was ripped from the darkness.

He awoke instantly. Sitting up gasping for air, the atmosphere of his dark room seemed so thick and claustrophobic. His vision was slightly blurry, but slowly he could make out the sound of his phone vibrating.

Sasuke again...

He checked the time, it was just passed 5am. "Wow, real early this time." He ignored the call.

Naruto didn't go back to sleep. Trying to convince himself that this recurring nightmare wasn't effecting him, but it was. He laid there on his bed thinking back to that time the whole night. Like he did every night when the dream finally awoke him. As if guilt was telling him he didn't have the same right as everyone else to sleep.

He just lied awake the rest of the night. As he turned over and over from one side to the next he noticed that the dim light from the sun was beginning to paint the skies in a dark blue glow.

"Finally." He exasperated, getting out of bed to get his bag and head out to his morning classes at the college.

"Na-ru-to!" A loud voice came from behind him. Naruto turned to see a red haired girl with fogged up glasses come running up to him and smacking him in the back of the head.

"Owe, eh! What the hell was that for, Karin!?"

"To get your attention, dumbass!" she smiled innocently. "Other wise you'll just ignore me, like you're soooo cool." she waved her hands for emphasis.

Naruto shrugged. "Eh, whatever." A slight grin played on his face.

"See like that!" she shouted. "Don't make me kick your ass!"

Karin was Naruto's cousin, known to do what she pleased with whom she pleased, never taking anything from anyone. However at the same time, Karin was a strong headed good person, she had a lot of respect and care for her cousin.

Naruto stopped and closed his eyes, pursuing to start an argument, when he looked up to see Karin running up the road.

"Did you stop to pull your boxers out of your butt? Come on you're gonna be late, man!" she shouted with her bag flailing behind her.

Naruto burst into a sprint.

After their classes, Karin and Naruto met at a local coffee shop where Naruto works part time, though today he was off.

"So." Faith said, abruptly. "Trouble sleeping again, huh?"

"How'd you know?" Naruto replied, dull.

"Bags, dude, bags." Karin was always very analytical and composed in her own way. Naruto answered her, but didn't want to lean on this subject. Karin continued to prod. "So, you still haven't worked through this, Naruto?" She spoke softly, "It's been two years." Her eyes turned soft, concerned.

"Do we have to talk about it?" Naruto tensed slightly, turning away from her to look out the window of the shop.

"Well, it seems like you still need to talk about it. You could talk to me. Or you could go over there and talk to those girls that have been staring at you all of lunch time." Karin said, pointing with her eyes.

People tend to be easily attracted to Naruto because of the bright energy he carried that made girls and guys interested in him. Even on days like this when he's a little depressed, doesn't mean the girls can easily ignore his good looks. Naruto had bright spiky blond hair, decent muscle tone, and the most strikingly deep blue eyes. Very handsome.

"So...?" Karin reiterated, leaning forward, pushing up her glasses.

Glancing towards the girls in the corner of the shop then looking down to the ground after they giggled he answered her. "You know I can't."

"Naruto, it's okay to move on and want to be happy, ya know." she murmured, leaning back and crossing her arms.

"…"

"Agh, Naruto…" she exasperated, but was cut off.

"Can we just drop it." His blond bangs hid his eyes.

She paused, then took a breath. "Have you talked to Sasuke?"

He cupped his chin in his hand and sighed. "He's called me 3 to 6 times a day for three days."

Her brows creased. "Why are you ignoring him?"

Naruto sighed. "I'm not ignoring him, I'm just having one of my usual episodes and I don't want to worry him."

"That's stupid, he's your best friend. That's when you need your best friend the most. And not taking any of his calls when he's been calling is assure fire way to make him worry, Naruto."

"…Yeah, I know." Naruto knew Sasuke was worried about him, but it was more difficult to talk about this with Sasuke then anyone else in the world and to be honest he was tired of dragging everyone down with his baggage. So he just doesn't talk about it at all anymore. Why should he anyway, its not like they don't know what happened.

When Naruto finally got home to his apartment in the late afternoon He stopped at the front door. Did he leave the light on?

"What the..." Naruto stumbled inside, calling out.

"Yo!" Kiba called from the kitchen with a mouth full of potato chips.

Naruto grinned. He kind of needed a distraction. "Damn, man. I'm starting to regret givin' you a key."

Kiba walked into the living room as Naruto was putting away his coat and bag. Kiba had been playing video games for some time evidently. "You're right, it would make more sense if I just moved in." Kiba said as he plopped back down on the couch with his (Naruto's) bag of chips.

Naruto joined him and plunged an arm into the bag of chips. "Heh, yeah not gonna happen."

"Hey, get your own!"

"These are mine, dumbass!" Naruto tried to grab the bag and they both almost ripped the bag completely open when a small match of tug-a-war started.

"Err, jerk." Kiba growled. He Paused suddenly. "Hey…" his voice was lowered. "…you sleeping alright?" He asked, staring at Naruto's face.

"Wha… what? Why do you ask?" He stirred.

"Your eyes look tired, man." Kiba drawled, moving his head to look at different angles of Naruto's face.

Damn. Was it that obvious? He hadn't looked in a mirror today. Maybe he should invest in some makeup.

"Uh, yeah. I'm ya know, I'm good." He laughed, trying to sound convincing.

"You are the worst liar I've ever known, Naruto." He deadpanned. "What the hell is going on? You're not getting messed up again are you?" He grabbed his arm, getting a better look at Naruto and show that he was not messing around.

"Messed up? No. I'm… just, ya know, up late studying, plus work." He looked at Kiba from the side as if seeing if he was going to get the response he wanted.

Kiba was still. Glaring slightly, wandering if he should accept the lie. "Ya know…" Kiba started quietly, but was interrupted.

"I'm sorry, dude." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I am tired because of it so I think I'm gonna turn in. You can crash here on the couch if you want though."

"Uh…" Kiba looked at the couch as if it would give him permission. "Nah, I think I'm gonna go. I'll see you tomorrow?" He got up, smirking, putting the bag of chips on the couch.

Naruto grinned. "Sure thing."

After Kiba left, Naruto stripped down to his boxers and plopped onto his bed. He was tired, but his mind was restless. As he tried to not shine his minds light on ugly thoughts, he started to feel a little relaxed, at least a bit. As his mind began to drift into the nothingness of sleep, a deep, low buzz startled him.

He slowly lifted himself up to look over at his phone on his night stand.

Probably Sasuke again.

He grabbed his phone and saw the contact name.

"Itachi?"

Naruto looked at the time. 10:15pm. Not too late, I guess. But strange that he's calling at all. He slid the answer icon.

"Hello?" Naruto's voice was hoarse already.

"Hey, moron. You finally figured out how to use your phone I see."

The voice was dripping with false humor. He's angry, I knew he would be.

"…"

"Hi, Sasuke." Naruto said with a sigh and slight apprehension. His heart was a mile high though, Sasuke was too good of a high for Naruto.

"What the fuck is with ignoring my calls, but then answering after the first 6 rings when it's Itachi's phone?"

He counted?

Naruto heard Itachi in the background. "Did he answer?"

"Yes!" Sasuke shouted and Naruto had to pull the phone away from his ear.

"Oh, good then he's not mad at me." He heard Itachi say in the distance.

"Yeah, because that matters." Sasuke shouted in response before seemingly to turn his attention back towards the blond on the phone.

"So Sasuke, how's it going on your business trip?" Naruto tried to sound as innocent as possible.

"Shut up." Sasuke responds like lightning when he's pissed. "You don't get to ask questions."

He's taking away my rights now.

Sasuke was laying on his hotel bed with nothing on but a white shirt and dark blue boxers. His legs crossed at the ankles and hair still damp from his shower.

"Why the fuck have you been ignoring my calls?" Sasuke demanded.

He heard Naruto sigh before answering, voice low. "Look, Sasuke…"

Sasuke started biting his lip and shaking his foot, eyes staring hard at the wall in front of him. He's been so damn worried.

Naruto spoke low like he's beginning to say a speech he's had to repeat a hundred times. "I'm sorry, Sasuke. I…I'm not trying to ignore you and I'm not mad or anything like that. I've just…" he paused and it made Sasuke hold his breath for a second. "I'm just busy with studies and work is all. Like you, only minus the 'studies' part, heh."

Naruto was trying to be cute and when Sasuke was pissed off it only made him even more pissed off. "What the fuck kind of a sorry excuse is that? You couldn't answer the phone once in three days?"

"I said I'm sorry, Sasuke." Naruto's voice was an irritated whine.

"Sorry isn't going to cut it, moron." Sasuke said, through clenched teeth. "You're going to make this up to me."

"What do you want...?" Naruto rolled his eyes and smiled. Sasuke can usually forgive him easily.

Sasuke glared off to the side of his room and blushed slightly.

Naruto heard a quick exhale on the other line and then; "Ta… take. Lets go… to dinner… or something."

Naruto made a small sad smile. It always warmed his heart when Sasuke got flustered over him, but he couldn't accept Sasuke's request as Sasuke meant for it to be.

"Sasuke…" Naruto sighed in slight warning.

Sasuke's heart sank. "Not…not like that you idiot!" he rushed. "Just you know hang out since I've been gone and you've been too stupid to work your phone."

The pause on the other line made Sasuke hold his breath.

"Yeah, Sas. Lets hang out as soon as you get back." Naruto said, perhaps a little too friendly.

"Right…" Sasuke murmured.

"Well, its getting late." Naruto grinned at his ceiling.

"Yeah, kind of." Sasuke resisted the urge to argue. "Get some sleep, idiot."

"Yeah, you too."

"Goodnight, moron." He said coldly.

"Night, Sasuke."

The call disconnected. But before Sasuke took the phone away from his ear he whispered; "I love you." as he usually did after phone calls with Naruto.

- To be continued…

x-X-x

Short as hell... but I'm just testing waters here.