CHAPTER 1

***WARD***

My first week in jail was a lot different than what I expected. I had already prepared myself for the torture I had thought I would get but everyone seemed to have forgotten about me. I was still beaten up from my fight with May but the worst pain I suffered was from the inside. I knew I was going to be in this cell for the rest of my life and I knew I deserved it. Skye was right. I was a murderer. Even though I was only following orders it was my hand that pulled the trigger and ended their lives. I would cry myself to sleep every night just thinking about what I had done. I was weak and vulnerable. No matter what I told myself I was still the weak little boy that couldn't shoot his dog.

***SKYE***

"Knock, knock." I heard Coulson say from outside my bunk.

"Hey!" I said forcing a smile as I opened my door.

"May and I are going to see Ward. I thought you might want to come." He said nervously. He knew Ward was a soft spot for me as I'd been breaking down every time anyone mentioned his name for the past week.

"What do you mean by see?" I asked.

"May feels like Ward doesn't have enough scars, and I am going down to see if his larynx has gotten any better. If it has were going to start interrogation." He replied with a slight smile.

"Sounds like fun. Do you think May would mind if I helped with giving him more scars?" I asked with a big grin.

"You deserve at least a few hits Skye. I'm giving him one for every lie he told me I suggest you do the same." May said as she walked around a corner.

I was surprisingly calm on the walk down to Ward's cell at the bottom of the playground. The plan was for Coulson to go in and ask him a few questions then for me and May to go in and release the anger we have built up over the last week on him. Coulson wanted to do a "test" to see if anyone on the team meant anything to Ward before me and May showed ourselves.

***WARD***

I heard a loud pair of footsteps coming towards my cell and I wondered who it was. By the sounds of their walking it was a heavily built man. I stood up just as Coulson walked through the door.

"Sir?" I said, startled.

"Skye and May are dead." He said blankly.

"SKYE IS WHAT?" I yelled startled. My knees gave way as I felt my heart break into pieces.

"Dead. Garret ordered her death a few days before he died. A hydra team stormed the bus and killed May and Skye. Then I killed them." Coulson said, irritated.

"Skye's dead?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes. So is May." He replied.

"Sky-" I felt my voice brake.

"You care about Skye." He said.

"I loved her." I confessed.

"Yet you betrayed her?" He asked.

"I had sworn my loyalties to Garret long before I met her." I replied.

"Please stop talking about Skye in past tense. Girls you can come in now." He replied.

I heard footsteps and I saw May and Skye walk around the corner. When I saw Skye my heart stuttered. She was alive.

"What?" I questioned.

"That was a test. I wanted to see if you actually cared for anyone." Coulson said.

"Surprise. I have a soul." I replied, sarcastically.

"I wouldn't go that far." Coulson said blankly.

Skye looked so different from when I last saw her. The fire had gone from her eyes and it had looked like she had given up all hope. She had red puffy eyes with bags under them and cracked lips. She looked ruined. Poor Skye. What had I done?

***SKYE***

When I met Ward's eyes I saw something in them I had never seen before. Worry, maybe? Or guilt? It was gone almost as soon as it had come and he'd gone back to his blank face. But then a second later he looked as if he was about to cry. Before I knew what was happening he was running at me with his arms out. My instincts made me punch him in the face but later I felt guilty when I realised he was trying to hug me. Maybe a shove would have been more appropriate.

"Dammit Skye. I think you just dislocated my nose." He said, as his nose dripped with blood.

There was a horrible cracking sound as he pushed his nose back into place.

"He still has feelings for you Skye." Coulson said.

"It's a weakness." Ward mumbled.

"Having feelings isn't a weakness. It's a part of being human." I said.

"Then maybe it's better not to be human." Ward said with a scowl.

"Your halfway there." I said with a blank face.

"Your torture begins today. May, you are in charge of external. Skye, internal. I'll be on the bus. Take as long as you need. Oh, and, happy birthday Grant." Coulson said as he left.

"There's no need to torture me. I'll tell you everything you want to know." Ward called after him.

"No need?" I asked. "I'll give you a need. You betrayed us. You killed thousands of men. You are a murderer." I spat at him.

***WARD***

May marched toward him with a sudden urge and kicked him hard in the stomach, cracking some of his ribs. He bit hard on his tongue and tasted blood. There was no need to fight back. He deserved this.

"That's my way of saying fuck you." She said harshly.

"Yes you did. A couple of times. Do you miss it?" He asked jokingly.

That comment earned another kick to the stomach.

"You wish." May said bitterly.

"Skye. It's my birthday. Can I please talk to you alone for a minute." I begged.

Skye nodded her head to May and she walked out.

"I can expla-" I started.

"DID YOU EVEN BELIEVE ANY OF THE STUFF YOU SAID TO ME?" She screamed.

I stayed silent.

"SHEILD is about protecting people. All you need to join is a dedication to the greater good." She mocked. I thought that was you. I thought that was what you believed. I trusted you. I looked up to you. I fell in love with you." She said, her voice cracking on the last words. "I fell in love with a mask. A Ward that doesn't even exist. The real ward is there." She pointed at me. "Hydra Ward. Nazi Ward." I flinched at the word nazi.

"Tell me, what did you think joining Hydra would give you? Power? A family? Hydra gave you nothing. You have nothing." She spat.

"Stop." I muttered

"No power." She continued.

"Skye." I sobbed.

"No family."

"Please." I screamed, feeling my heart tearing into pieces.

"No friends."

"Skye." I screamed.

"No... love." She hissed.

"Stop it, please!" I shrieked. "Just kill me. Please. I want to die!"

"Have you forgotten, Ward? I'll never give you what you want." She said as she stormed out.

I spent the rest of the day wishing for death. I let my emotions get the better of my as I cried myself to sleep that night. I dreamed of her.

***SKYE***

That night I sat up watching security footage of ward cell. After he cried himself to sleep he mumbled my name a few times and some sentences that sounded like 'I'm sorry' or 'I love you'. I was surprised I had that much effect on Ward. Turns out he was more human than I thought.

***WARD***

The next day was similar to the first day of torture. May came in first and beat me until my whole body ached, then Skye came in later. She took a different approach that day though.

"Coulson said I was too hard on you, yesterday. After seeing the footage of you in your cell last night I had to agree with him. He wants me to let you speak." She said.

"I know the things I did are making it hard for you to forgive me but-" I started.

"They are unforgivable things. Fitz is in a coma because of you. I'm not even going to speak the number of allies you've betrayed or the number of people you've lied to." She said, interrupting.

"I know. I'm really sorry. I had no choice. But Skye... My feelings for you... They're real. They always have been and they always will be. Skye, I love you." I said.

"Oh, right. Because love conquers all, right? Because your feelings are real I can just forget about everything else and accept you for what you are. A killer. You disgust me."

She turned on her heel and stormed out of the cell. I sobbed until I slept that night. She had no idea what she put me through. Get the knowledge that I can't have her was enough to disarm me. I found the hidden camera and spoke to it for a while. I know she was listening.

"I'm sorry. I love you." I started out saying but after an hour I was yelling and crying to the camera.

"Skye! I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna kill myself if you don't come down here. SKYE! SKYE! SKYE PLEASE, BABY PLEASE! I KNOW THAT YOU CARE ABOUT ME, SKYE!" I yelled banging my head against the prison wall. The last thing I remember was seeing a gas seep into the cell through a small pipe.

***SKYE***

After seeing Ward lose it in his cell that night I cried myself to sleep. I knew he loved me, but that wasn't enough. I needed him to feel pain. More than he already did. I needed him to beg for death. Coulson had prepped me for what was to happen the next day. He would suffer.

***WARD***

I woke up in a padded cell. I recognised the walls immediately. We were on the bus. I heard muffled laughter from outside.

"Damn it!" A man who's voice I didn't recognise muttered.

"Say it Sam! Say it!" I recognised Skye's voice and laughter immediately.

"You sunk my battleship." Sam said.

I heard Skye giggling. I was so upset. We used to play battleship all the time. That was our thing. It pained me to hear Skye happy. She had moved on but I hadn't. I had a flashback to the first time we had played. I had claimed it was a part of her training but I really just wanted an excuse to spend more time with her. She sunk my battleship. Now I felt as if I was on a battleship that she had sunk. The ocean water claiming me. I felt water on my face and tasted its saltiness. I was crying again. She sunk my battleship.

***SKYE***

It pained me to play battleship without Ward. I played with a SHEILD trainee called Sam Potter. I was his SO. We got along well but he didn't understand me. Coulson had told us to play battleship outside Ward's cell on the bus. It was hard to say the same things I had once said to ward. It was hard to laugh. But it was even harder to see Ward after we did it. He looked broken, like he had given up on himself. He didn't eat or talk or drink. We let him be for days but he was broken. He had given up on his robot face and shown us who he really was. A weak coward that depended on orders for sanity. I felt sorry for him. He was broken.