Yay! My first Yuri Story! ^_^ Now, to be perfectly fair, the yuri, at the start, will be subtle, but will increase as time passes. Now, I personally love the discovery part of yuri stories, where the characters learn and come to terms with their interests. I find that more satisfying, in my opinion, than some of the mushy scenes. Still, prepare for some WAFF and some irresistible cuteness! ^_^ Make sure you R&R! ^_^
Oh, and in case you couldn't tell, I don't own Lucky Star. Wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out, though…
Beauty and the Otaku
By Da Games Elite
Part 1
"Kagami, it looks like that skirt of yours is a little too tight," the baby-blue haired otaku cooed, prodding a long finger against her friend's middle. The sensation of her flesh molding around her finger sent chills through her spin. As her face turned red with humiliation, her friend continued in that irritatingly lazy tone of hers. "I think someone failed their diet again."
"Oh, shut up!" Kagami stammered, slapping her hand aside as she curled her arms around her torso, fingering the miniscule roll of flesh, a result of wearing a painfully tight skirt. She should have watched her calorie intake a little better, sure, but it wasn't noticeable to anyone normal. How the hell Konata could notice that small little pudge on that torso if even her mother, sisters, hell, even her twin, didn't see it. Hell, if she didn't weigh herself on a regular basis, she wouldn't have noticed it either. So how the hell did this otaku, this moron, who focused 100% on video games and anime, notice such a subtle change in her body?
The answer was that she was a freak.
"Kagami, when you blush it's just so adorable," Konata giggled, pressing her knuckles against her mouth.
"Oh shut up!"
"And I love it when you swear," Konata giggled again.
"Uh, what're you two talking about?" Kagami's twin sister, Tsukasa, asked.
The world around her came back into focus for Kagami. She was sitting at a group of four desks pushed up against each other, next to Konata and Tsukasa, in front of Miyuki, the only girl other than herself who wasn't a complete idiot. Well, in Tsukasa's defense at least she tried to work hard. It wasn't her short purple haired sister's fault that she was so challenged. Still, her round innocent face, now expressing her deep confusion at whatever it was that her older fraternal twin and Konata were arguing about.
"Oh, Tsukasa, it's just Konata being, well, stupid short Konata," Kagami replied.
"I don't know how much of an argument I can put up against the stupid part, but I like to think of myself as fun sized."
"I think of it as short," Kagami replied.
"I wish there was some sort of magical powder that could make me grow taller," sighed Konata, "I mean, in anime some characters can just grow to super sizes."
"Oh God!" Kagami shook her head in disapproval as she stared at the serious expression in Konata's squinty eyes, that somehow dead serious expression in her eyes. How could that otaku say such a ludicrous statement and still maintain that dead serious expression of her? It was as though her face was plastered in that same expression, that same grin that seemed more akin to a feline than a human smile.
"Actually, I read that they're treatments that developmentally stunted people can have in order to grow, like hormones therapy and medicine doctors can prescribe," Miyuki replied, a friendly smile on her lips, her pink wavy hair bouncing up and down as she used her hands to express herself as she brushed aside her bangs from her eyes and pushed her glasses higher up the bridge of her nose.
"You know, I think I actually heard about that sort of treatment somewhere," Kagami replied, smiling in light of actual intelligence being brought into this conversation, "You know, Konata, you ever think there may be some sort of developmental problem in your gene pool?"
"What do you mean?" Konata asked, a perplexed expression in her eyes.
"I mean, your cousin Yutaka isn't exactly all that tall," Kagami replied, "And you still fit into your sixth grade uniform."
"Yeah, and that really appeals to all those guys into lolicon," Konata replied, a smile spreading across her face, "It really appeals to the guys at the café."
"You know, I don't think that's the best reinforcement or motivation to stay that small," Kagami replied, shaking her head in disbelief. She still had yet to adjust to Konata's random statements that made her sound like a strange girl longing for either attention or to be a walking emblem for her otaku geekdom. As she raised an eyebrow at her curious friend, who didn't seem to get the fact that what she had just said was among her strangest and most bizarre statements that she had made in the period of time she had known Konata.
"And why not? It makes money," Konata replied, smiling.
"So wait, what do you mean by that?" Kagami stammered.
"Alright, lunch is over. Kagami, go back to wherever the heck you came from." Kagami turned to the head of the class to see Konata's blonde haired teacher, her hair pulled into a long ponytail, her eyes gazing down specifically at Kagami in amusement. Just what did that teacher want, exactly? As she adjusted her professional looking outfit, an outfit that looked strangely masculine on her, she added, "I'm sure Konata's not going to forget about you if you're apart for a few minutes."
This created a minor stir of giggles from some of the other members of the class, at which Kagami blushed deep red. She rose to her feet, withdrawing the books and bags he brought with her and holding it against her breasts. As she left the room, Konata called out in that gentle, lazy tone, "Kagami, don't feel too lonely without me, okay?"
"Oh, shut up!"
Within a few seconds, she had returned to her original seat in her original classroom, sitting in the vicinity of Ayano and Misao again. Short haired Misao, her dark hair and bronze skin in sharp contrast to Kagami Ayano's light hair and creamy white skin, approached Kagami's desk, a cheerful, goofy grin on her lips. "Hey, Kagami, are you busy today?" She seemed so energetic, so full of joy, so much so that Kagami felt guilty when she revealed to her longtime friend that she couldn't hang out that day because of her obligation to Konata, a promise to meet her at the café she worked at, a vow she had made a few days earlier. Misao's face fell as she replied, "Aw, that stinks. It's a real shame. I had this new fighting game I thought would be really fun to play with you."
"Don't let it bother you," Ayano replied, gently, her orange tinted hair held back by a hair band as always, "I wouldn't mind playing it with you if you want."
"Oh, Misao, I'm sorry, but if you know how she is. If I don't go today, she'll bug me over and over again until I do," sighed Kagami, trying to think of anything to keep Misao from feeling jealous or anything to that effect. The last thing she needed was to have two of her friends waging war against each other, a war she suspected that Konata would wage just for the fun of it. "Think of it this way: at least you wouldn't just bug me constantly until I listened to you, right?"
"Well, I don't know about that," Misao laughed with a goofy grin, "Still, that midget can be really annoying sometimes." Kagami cringed when she heard Misao refer to Konata as a midget. It wasn't like Kagami didn't call her something to that effect on a regular basis, but that didn't mean that hearing Misao refer to Konata as a midget was akin to hearing a six-year-old utter some forbidden swear so filthy that even adults were hesitant to utter it. Noticing Kagami's reaction, Misao cocked her head in confusion. "What's the matter?"
"Oh? Nothing," Kagami replied, "Just thought of something. No big deal."
"Okay, if you say so," Misao replied.
The classes that followed passed without event, aside from Kagami answering a few correct questions. At the end of the day, Misao and Ayano followed Kagami down the hallways as the girl with two ponytails stopped at her shoe locker. As she withdrew her real sneakers from the rows upon rows of other lockers. Kagami noted, as Misao discussed some random matter that didn't seem to apply all that much to the moment, that Konata was no where to be seen. With a shake of her head, Misao stated some rather major point of her discussion, a point that Ayano seemed to agree with. Maybe Konata had already been at the locker and was now working at that crazy café, a cesspool for otaku just like her.
"So what do you think about it, Kagami?" Misao asked.
"Huh? What?"
"Were you even listening to me?" Misao asked, her eyes narrowed.
"Huh? Oh, no, sorry. I was distracted by something."
"Oh, no prob," Misao replied, off handedly, "Happens to me all the time."
"Hey, Kagami!" Tsukasa darted toward her elder twin, a smile on her lips.
"Hey! Tsukasa!" Kagami replied, a smile on her lips as she waved over to her sister as she neared her, "You ready?"
"Yeah, I'm all set," Tsukasa replied.
"Oh, is she going with you to Konata's?" Ayano asked, slightly to Misao's charign.
"No," Tsukasa replied, her head lowered slightly in disappointment, "I'm going straight home. I need to get started on a project."
"Isn't Konata in your class?" Ayano asked, "Doesn't she need to do anything you do?"
"Clearly you don't know Konata like I do," sighed Kagami, "She wouldn't do the project even if she was being blackmailed. Chances are she's probably going to ask me for the answers at the café. I'd bet all the money in my left pocket on it." In truth, Kagami only had 300 yen, two tissues, one of them used, and two sticks of cherry-flavored bubblegum. Naturally, she didn't have any problem parting with them on the off chance she was wrong, which she rarely was.
"Well, actually Konata said she wanted to ask her cousin Yui for help," Tsukasa replied, a smile on her lips.
"Well, she's still asking for help," Kagami replied. "It'll be a sad day for her when she wakes up and realizes that none of us are gonna help her out with her work any more, you know?"
"Yeah, I think I know what you mean," Tsukasa replied, sheepishly.
"Aw man," Misao mumbled, "I suppose you're gonna go straight to the café, right?" Misao asked, frowning.
"Yeah, I got to go on foot, so I might as well start going now. Sooner I leave, sooner I could see whatever Konata wants, the sooner I could go home and do my homework, and if I have time, beat Matsuri at Super Smash Bros. Brawl." With that, the purple haired woman turned around, walking down the road toward whatever nightmare Konata had waiting for her. As she walked down past the hoards of students returning to the sanctuary of their homes, a sanctuary away from the bizarre world Kagami found herself reluctantly submerging herself in, she wondered silently to herself just what it was that Konata had to see her about at her cosplay café. Was it some sort of new display? A fun feature? Maybe a show that Konata had taken great pride in?
"Hey! Kagami!" At the sound of her name, she turned around to see a short, blonde haired girl younger than her darting toward her, a smile on her gentle face. Being an American, Patricia Martin stood out like a piranha in a shark tank in the homogenius Japanese population of their school. Now, however, as Kagami left the crowd of students going helter-skelter, with less people around, Patricia's foreign face didn't seem so out of place any longer.
"What's up, Patricia?" Kagami asked, stopping for the American to catch up to her, gasping for air after her momentary dash to reach the girl.
"Konata said you were stopping by the café today. Well, are you?" Patricia wheezed through her gasps for air as she rose to her full height, "You wanna walk together? We're going the same way anyway."
Kagami considered this. Patricia, for her extreme lack of knowledge about Japanese culture, wasn't a bad person. Sure, she was one of Konata's lot, but if she could endure that midget's overwhelming geekiness—there she said it. She had felt uncomfortable when Misao said it, but why was she able to say it without feeling even remotely guilty? There shouldn't be any sort of double standard. It was either good to say or bad to say, herself not excluded from being unable to say that taboo. Just what was wrong with her right now? Why was she beating herself up over that word! Konata was a midget! Konata was a midget!
"Kagami, if you're that uncomfortable with letting me come—"
Was Kagami making facial expressions? Shaking her head, Kagami changed her expression into a forced calm, a small smile spreading across her lips. "Hey, look, I was just thinking about something. Sure, I'm going to the café. It'd be nice to have a little company. Besides, I have a few questions to ask." After all, if Patricia worked at the café, surely she could give Kagami a heads up about what was going to happen to her. Knowing Konata, her surprises usually ended up being rather awkward experiences. It was best to be prepared with that otaku.
"Oh, sure! What's up?" Patricia Martin asked as she remained at Kagami's side as the two walked down the street, drawing nearer to their final destination with every step.
"Do you know what Konata's planning over at the café?" Kagami asked.
"Didn't she tell you anything?" Patricia asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, not a thing," she replied, curiously, "Why? Do you know something."
"Not really," Patricia admitted, "But I do know that Konata's been rather excited about something recently. She said that there was going to be something special today, specifically. She talked to our boss about it, she told me, and but she said she needed a little help to do it."
"Help?" Somehow, Kagami didn't like the sounds of that. She had always helped Konata with her work, helped her with her tests, helped her maintain a stable grade point average despite Konata clearly having the intelligence to pass Miss Kuroi's class with flying colors. So what did she need help with this time? Surely some sort of geeky otaku thingy that was beyond Kagami's realm of comprehension, or perhaps Kagami was beyond this otaku stupidity that Konata was so consumed with. Maybe if Konata could grow out of this obsession a little bit, she'd be a little more fun to hang around with. Still, somehow if Konata had lost that obsession with anime, she really wouldn't be the Konata she knew and loved.
Finally, the duo arrived at the café, after a few wrong turns thanks to Kagami being distracted, mistakes that Patricia had to mend, which Kagami found slightly ironic considering that Patricia made mistakes that, supposedly, Yutaka and her friends needed to mend for her. After ascending the stairway, Patricia turned to Kagami and said, in her high voice, "I have to get changed into my costume. You know the rest of the way, right?"
"Yeah, I know the room," Kagami replied, "What're you wearing now?"
"Well, today we're dressing up in plug suits."
"What?"
"You know, plug suits. Did you ever see Evangelion?"
"A little of it. Wait, do you mean you're dressing up in those skin-tight suits the pilots wear?"
"Well, not necessarily those. I'm wearing one of Gundum's plug suits, but we don't have anyone to—"
"Ah! Kagami!"
She turned around at the sound of her name, as did Patricia. There, standing in a skin tight silver suit that emphasized her figure, or lack thereof, was Konata, her long locks of hair that trailed down to her hips pulled up by clips so that it looked as though her hair only extended to the bottom of her jaw. How such a feat was achieved even with a dozen or so clips was beyond Kagami's realm of understanding. It took a few double takes just to take in how different her friend looked with short hair.
"Konata! You're wearing the Rei uniform?" Patricia asked, "I thought that Yoko—"
"She's out sick today," replied Konata, "So I filled in. Thankfully she's about my size."
"Hang on a second. Do you mean there's another girl who's just as developmentally stunted as you are?" Kagami asked in a deadpan voice.
"Stunted? I told you, Kagami, fun sized. Fun sized!"
"Well, she is in the sixth grade," replied Patricia on a serious note.
"You mean you let sixth graders work here? Isn't that a little illegal?"
"Oh, but she appeals to the lolicon crowd," Konata replied, waving off Kagami's concerns.
"That's exactly what I was afraid of!" Kagami hissed, "So Konata, why did you want me here, anyway?"
"Well, the truth is—Patricia, go get changed and fill in for me a bit, okay?" Konata glanced over at the immigrant, who nodded sternly, and darted up the stairway. Once out of earshot, Konata turned back to her friend, and smiled in an amused grin, "The truth is that we need someone to cosplay as Asuka."
"Wait, what?"
"You know, Asuka!"
"Who the hell is she?"
"From Evangelion!'
"I don't watch that show! I've already told Patricia that!"
"But we need one. She's a fan favorite and a lot of the fans really want to see one. Normally this girl Natsumi would do her, but she's at a funeral in Okinawa, so we needed someone. So I asked my boss if you could be her."
"And why did you volunteer me, exactly?" Kagami asked, almost afraid to know the answer.
"Because you're a tsundere like her," Konata replied, simply.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Tsundere? Just what the hell was a tsundere? No doubt some ridiculous otaku terminology. The vocabulary that Konata constantly referenced was something that Kagami would occasionally pick up on, but sometimes she was lost. She wasn't familiar with the character, wasn't familiar with her costume, or anything like that. "Give me one reason why I should—"
"Of course, the costume might just show off those fat rolls of yours," Konata replied, a snide grin on her lips.
"What!?"
"I understand if you're afraid of doing it. I mean, I wouldn't want you to be embarrassed of those thunder thighs," Konata added, that same cat-like grin on her lips as she scratched the area around her small mole.
"Alright, are you implying I couldn't pull off the look?"
"Yes, essentially."
It took a few minutes for Kagami to prove Konata wrong by dressing in the skin-tight scarlet uniform. It took a few minutes more for her to appreciate just how stupid she had been for submitting to her pride like that. She should have let Konata won and let the matter go, but oh no! She needed to prove Konata wrong. The uniform was snug, though. She rubbed her belly with her hand, anxiously prodding the soft surface of her mostly flat torso. She wondered if any of these otaku would notice the slight imperfections, the slight ripple when she walked.
"Oh, Kagami's nervous, is she?" Konata asked, amused.
"You shut up!"
"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine," Konata replied, "And you'll be paid too, so what more can you ask for?"
"How about a more comfortable outfit?" snapped Kagami.
"Hey, shouldn't we dye her hair red?" Patricia, dressed in a much looser uniform covered with plates and the like, suggested, asking Konata rather than Kagami about the state of her hair.
"What?!"
"Yeah, you have a point. And we should make a few suggestions about being in character," Konata replied, a small grin on her lips.
"Look, it's bad enough I put this stupid costume on, but if you touch my hair, I'll kill you, and if you give me lessons on how to remain in character for someone I don't even know about, so help me God, I'll beat you silly!"
There was a moment of silence where both Konata and Patricia stared in awe at Kagami. As blush ran up her face, Kagami glanced at both of the otaku. Just what had she said to bring out this sort of reaction from them? Finally, Konata shrugged and replied, "Well, I guess I won't need to tell you how to be in character. You're actual personality is perfect."
"What does that mean?" snapped Kagami.
"Just keep doing what you're doing now, and you'll be fine," Patricia replied, cautiously backing away as she gestured toward the reluctant cosplayer.
The afternoon passed at the pace of a paralyzed stallion on a backwards conveyer belt. The sweaty otaku who she needed to serve weren't all that bad. Some were rather polite, and asked about the nature of her costume. Kagami actually found she was occasionally disappointed to admit that she was really just a last-minute fill in and couldn't supply any info about the nature of her outfit. However, there were also rather awkward customers who Kagami swore, when her back was turned, were doing rather lewd things in response to her appearance. She felt nauseated, and asked herself how Konata could possibly enjoy working here.
"Having fun?" Konata asked as the clock ticked onward and the sky began to grow dark outside.
"Does it look like I'm alright?" Kagami snapped, crankily.
"Hey! You're in perfect character! Keep this up, Kagami, and my boss'll probably ask you to stay on as a fill in whenever someone else is sick."
"Oh, shut up!" Kagami snapped, loudly, "I don't suppose you had to serve some creepy guy who asked you to give them live octopuses and carry them inside the damn plug suit."
"Oh, that guy? He always comes up with so many creative ideas."
"Alright, Konata, I'm going home." Kagami was about to turn away when she felt a hand clasp itself around her wrist. She turned around to see the blue haired girl staring up at her, a determined expression in her eye. Kagami tugged against her again and again, grunting with every tug. "Hey! Lemme go! My wrist hurts!" And yet the blue haired girl's gaze didn't waver, didn't break. She simply stared up at Kagami, pulling harder and harder against her arm until the girl with two pigtails actually bent over against her will, being pulled closer and closer to Kagami. "Hey, what're you doing? Hey! Konata? What the hell are you do—"
Kagami's words were muted as the two girls' lips locked.
Kagami felt anxiety fill her body, coarse through her veins. She was kissing Konata. Her lips were locked, her breath filling her otaku friend's mouth, the taste of minty toothpaste from Konata's teeth filling Kagami's throat. Her eyes wavered in horror, in shock, as she felt her heart rumble in her chest. This was wrong. What was she doing? How did she think this was appropriate? Was this one of Konata's creepy, pervy things that she did on a regular basis? Was she just trying to mess with her head? She felt her muscles tighten as she prepared to escape, but then she felt them relax as she found herself growing tired, growing weary, from this one kiss.
It actually felt good.
She felt almost disappointed when Konata's lips parted. Kagami's heart was still pounding, but was it from horror, shock, or adrenaline? She stared down at Konata, who stared up at her, a smile on her lips. "Well, that I think that was a good show for the yuri fans out there." It was only then that Kagami remembered where they were, that dozens of otaku, mostly male, were around them, cheering and hooting like maniacs, a few even asking for an encore. As Kagami turned to the masses of otaku, blush running up her cheeks, things became clear.
"Wait, what? You mean you just did that to make a show?" Kagami snapped.
"Yeah, pretty much," Konata replied.
Kagami was right: with Konata, surprises were NEVER good.