AN: Hello everyone!
I did this story after I saw episode 293 (*cries*) and I felt like I need to vent some emotions, and also I was listening to 'So Far Away' by Staind (hence the title of the fanfic) I recommend some sad music to go with this fanfic, mostly the song I mentioned before. I only posted it up now because I was too depressed to post it up on the day I wrote it. Oh, and despite the fact it's a tragedy fanfic, it has some FLUFF! 3 But also, I think a majority of the characters are a bit OOC (Out of charcter), so apologizes in advance. ^^;
Anyway, I hope you like this :)
Disclaimer: I own this laptop, this TV, this MP3, this highlighter and this remote, Tite Kubo owns BLEACH and it's characters.
So Far Away
Hitsugaya's eyes snapped open. He gasped for air as he regained consciousness. He blinked until his vision was completely clear. The first thing he saw was the blue sky. Confused, he sat up and looked around. Around him were debris and other shinigamis. Some were running off from his vision, other were in big groups trying to heal the fallen shinigamis. He immediately recognized the fourth division captain as she walked towards him. "Hitsugaya-taicho, you're awake…"
Hitsugaya lay back down, dizziness suddenly plaguing his mind. He brought his left hand to his head. He stopped. His eyes widened. Why was he so surprised? He looked at his hand…and then down at his foot. There it was under his hakama.
The memories flooded back into his mind.
His limbs were chopped off…by Aizen. He winced hearing the name in his head. He looked down along his arm seeing that it was fully intact. There was bandage wrapped around his torso and shoulder. He bend his arm. It felt normal.
"Inoue-san did a perfect job, didn't she?" Unohana commented as she knelt next to the captain.
The white haired captain looked at the woman. He attempted to sit up again. "Thank you…"
"No need to, but you should really get some rest. You'll be back in the Soul; Society very soon" the fourth division captain reassured him.
As he began to lie down one questioned popped into his head. "What happened…to Aizen…?"
She looked back at him again with a neautral expression. "He has been sealed away. Kurosaki pursued him and Kisuke bound him into a seal."
"…I see." A part of Hitsugaya wished that Ichigo had killed him. That part then started to wish he had killed him himself. On the other hand, the deed was done, and Aizen was defeated. That was all that matter, wasn't it? All that mattere was that Aizen was defeated, the Soul Society was safe, and him and Momo…
His eyes dramatically widened.
His heart skipped a beat.
'Hinamori…Hinamori!'
He sat up in a flash causing Unohana lean away. "What is it Hitsugaya-tai-?"
"Hi…Hinamori!" He quickly turned to the captain and asked pleadening "Where is she? Is she safe, where is she? I have to-!"
"Calm down Hitsugaya-taicho," Unohana ordered calmly. "She fell somewhere nearby, but we are looking for her. Do not stress yourself, you have not fully recovered. Please calm down and-"
He didn't want to hear it. Feeling a suddenly surge of strength through his system, he shunpo-ed away from the captain. He knew she would be able to catch up with him he kept his reitsu up. He managed to hide it before she could start to pursue him. He wasn't sure how far away from his last location he was but anywhere was better then back there. He pulled up the sleeve of his korsode thast was tied around his waist over his arm.
He closed his eyes trying to feel all the reitsu in the area. He consintrated harder trying to find her…
'Please…Hianmori, please...'
And there it was.
Her warm reitsu…
…that was fading.
He quickly opened his eyes and ran towards her. He ran with what he had left his him. 'please wait, Hinamori, I'm coming. This time…I'm going to save you!' So many thoughts plagued his mind, but only she matter to him now. He tried not think of how she would react to seeing him. Would she hate him? Despise him? Scream?
He clenched his teeth and winced trying to rid the thoughts. He jumped over ruins, leapt over fallen buildings and sprinted all the way. He wasn't out breath, he had no time to be. So many emotions ran through his system. So many he could and couldn't name. All he knew was that they were affecting his thinking. Affecting him to the point where he thought about tuning back so he wouldn't get hurt or rejected by the one person he loves and cares about most…
He stopped. His heart heart was against his ribcage beating wildly. Sweat formed on his forehead…
…Her lifeless body lay among the ruins of a crumbled building. For a second he feared the orst. That she was dead…
He heard her raspy breathing as he got closer.
"Hinamori!" he cried to her.
He skidded to a stop and knelt down at her side. Afraid that she would suffer more pain, he carefully turned her over under her face appeared.
"Hinamori…?" He trailed off.
His breathing stopped.
His heart pounded against his chest.
His skin went cold.
So many emotions coursed through him.
Her pale, emotionless eyes stared up at him. Her breathing became more raspy and loud. The sides of her lips twitched at the edges. She was attempting to smile. Her eyes seemed to show a bit of life as they recognized who it was. "…Shiro…chan…."
Momo's voice was quiet, hoarse and gentle. It made his heart wrench. He couldn't looked anymore. "Wait, I'll go get Unohana!"
"No, wait!" He turned around panicked. She coughed violently, some blood escaping from her lips. "Please…" she said hoarsely "Please…don't go. PLEASE!"
He ran back to her side. He lightly wiped away the blood from her mouth. He tried not to cringe as he wiped the blood away. When the blood was gone, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and the other under her knees. He brought her closer placing her on his lap and cradled her to his chest. She gave up all strength and let her head fall on his shoulder.
His arm came out from under her legs and instead went to around her waist. "Hinamori…I…" His throat struggled to voice the words. He clenched his teeth together. He wanted the words to be said…
"Hitsugaya-kun…I…I'm sorry"
His eyes widened at the statement. He looked down at her in shock.
She looked at him solemnly. "I'm sorry that I've caused…you so…much trouble. I…I know…know why. I don't know how this happened, and I don't know why you stabbed me, but if it's…because you hate me…, then fair enough. I can see why you would, I've been…nothing but a selfish, cold person to you. I only wanted to see…the world…as I wished it…to be. I couldn't take…the truth…I just couldn't. I couldn't take…the fact that….Aizen was a traitor. I admired him so much that…I thought it was impossible. It was impossible for him to do something like that, like betraying…the Soul…Society. And yet you kept trying to make me see the truth, and I just…brushed you aside and denied I was ever being a bad person…to you.
"I hope…you understand now…why I've been acting this way. I don't want you to hate me… Hitsugaya-kun. Please, I'm…sorry. I'm so sorry!"
The words came out without warning. He didn't hold them back. "What? I don't hate you…I told you before I put it all behind me and forgave you. Geez, you're not the one who should be sorry! I didn't stab you because I hated you…!" His face betrayed him and his true emotions crumbled through the mask. He pulled her to him in a tight hug. Her arms didn't make a move to hug him back, they hung motionless. Her only response was a gasp. "H-Hit…Hitsugaya-k-?"
"I was tricked, Momo," he continued in a quiet whisper. "I was tricked…by Aizen. He used his shirkai to trick us all. It was only when Ichigo called out that we realized. I…I'm so sorry! I thought you wre Aizen, I really thought you were. I hate myself so damn much for what I did! I don't think I could ever forgive myself. I…I don't think…I can apologize enough to you. I'll do anything you want! I'll do whatever it takes to keep you nalive and for you to forgive me! Forgive me for not being able to stop myself. Forgive me for not being able to protect you…Please don't die, Hinamori! Please!"
He felt the tears prick his eyes. His vision became blurred. 'No, not now!'
"…Hi-Hitsu-ug-gaya-k-kun?"
He lowered her back until her head was leaning against his shoulder. At the sight of her pale face a tear slipped out of his eyes. It landed on her cheek and continued to trail down the side of her face. Her face softened into concern. She weakly reached out to touch his face, but only her fingers managed to touch his skin.
She reached higher and brushed the other tear that was about to fall. "There is nothing to forgive, Shiro-chan. You do nothing wrong…I just thought…you hated me. I was…wrong. You…You did protect me. Maybe not this time…but you have…so many times before. You've always been…there for me. I just…never noticed. I never noticed your kindness and what you…have done for me. I am…truly grateful for…having met you. I don't…regret…a day that…I have…spent with…you."
Her words were becoming weaker. Her hand fell from his face. Toshiro gently placed his hand on the fragile girl's face. He looked at her pleadingly "Please, don't die. Not now, Momo, please!"
She smiled at him "I won't…die today. I definitely…won't die today, Hitsugaya-kun."
He believed her. He believed her so much. He really did. He smiled down back at her. "Hinamori…thank you." He stroked the side of her face gently. Her skin was getting warmer. It brought some relief to him. He saw her eyes start to droop.
"I'm so tired, Shiro-chan…" Momo said quietly. "Is it…okay if…I sleep for a while?"
He nodded.
She smiled again. "Thank you…Hitsu…gaya-kun…I….I….I love you, Shiro…chan"
He was completely frozen. His heart skipped a beat. 'Did..D-Did…she just say she…loved me?'
"Hinamori? Did you…?"
She opened her eyes fully to look at him again, the sweet smile still on her. "I've been…wanting to tell…you for so long, but…I was worried…you'd reject me." She attempted to frown but couldn't. "Do you…How do you…How do…How do you feel…about me?"
Finally out of his shocked state, Hitsugaya looked down at the girl with softened eyes. He couldn't even begin to this amazing girl how much he loved her.
He leaned his head forward and pressed his forehead to hers. His eyes closed, taking in what was left of her peach scent over the smell of blood and cement. "I'll tell you when you wake up." He wanted to confess to her everything, everything he had felt for such a long time. Like her, he was afraid of rejection. He was worried she would reject him and continue to love Aizen. Now, he was too happy, too overjoyed. Coming back to reality, he saw how tired she was. He wouldn't tell her now. He'd tell her when they were back in the Soul Society, safe and happy.
He opened his turquoise eyes and met her half opened brown ones. She looked confused but was too weak to put up a fight. "I want you to be safe, healed and fully awake when I tell you…"
Her eyes widened and she gasped. She looked as though she was looking into his soul, seeing everything he was thinking, everything he was feeling. After a moment her eyes became half hooded and her sweet smile returned even wider. "Okay…T…Thank you…Shiro…chan…" And with that she closed her eyes feel asleep.
Hitsugaya watched her sleep with that peaceful, sweet smile on her face. He leaned his head away and lightly kissed her forehead and brushed the strands of hair away from her face. He didn't want to leave this place. He didn't want to think about the events before. He just wanted to stay like this forever with Momo. Still, thought of them in Soul Society together filled his mind wanted to wake her up. After more peaceful moments he felt Unohana's reitsu in the distance.
He softly stroked the side of her face. "It's time to wake up, Hinamori, Unohana-taicho is coming to heal you…"
No response.
He stopped.
He frowned. "Hinamori, this isn't funny, come on, wake up…"
The warm feeling in him started to turn to ice.
His heart was going explode.
He suddenly felt dizzy.
Clouds gathered above his head.
He shook her. "Momo, wake up!"
His cold hand came over her heart…
…it stopped after a few slow, agonizing beats…
He clenched her tighter. "HINAMORI? MOMO! NO, PLEASE! NOT NOW, NOT NOW!" His tears fell, sobs and pain wrecked throughout him. He was in agony. His heart ripped into pieces. The knives of agony and remorse cut through him.
Lightning struck the sky. Rain fell heavily over him. His tears mingled with the rain, his sobs were louder than the thunder. H e kept calling out to her as the sky cried with him. Despite the tears that fell, the scream cries for her to wake up, and the rain that cried with him, the girl he loved so much, the girl he was going to tell his true feelings to, was …
…so far away.
Waaaaah! (*cries, cries*) It's weird. Usually when people want to vent there emotions into story after seeing that kind of episode on BLEACH they'd make it a happy ending. I don't know why I made it sad D: Your comments and reviews are greatly appreciated! :D
Thanks for reading!
Keep writing!
-Warrayfinson